random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[I'm a Silly]

"chuck schumer needs to die dude. Like he literally LITERALLY needs to die." Which is a sentiment that probably 90 percent of people who are aware of chuck schumer share.

 

[Bill Evans 45]

A drunk twink, fresh off a breakup, in the club looking to hook up, would be creeped out by how fucking gay that punch was.

Threads is Facebook's userbase inflicted on Twitter's UI, the result is some sort of internet Heironymous Bosch painting.

 

[demicolon]

I'm taking away your mobility aids and watching you take a tumble down the stairs. It's my kink so you better not judge me. I love seeing people become slinkies down the steps.

 

[Spectate]

"I should've explained why my cousin killed herself..." "...My cousin has depression and is a White Lily kin."

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

@EvaXephon are u trans?
I would suck your girlcock if you were

 

[30+GameOvers]

Kinda looks like Clavicular’s special needs little cousin.

post squirt clarity hitting hard

 

[Gentlebastard]

I love it- when in America, why not engage in a bit of recreational suing? It's one of the main American pastimes.

These losers won't even broadcast their personal information all over the internet.

My grandmother was always careful to say that our Irish taint comes from Irish settlers, not the mass-imported potato-famine filth that flowed into New Orleans to build levees. Lace-curtain Irish, not shanty Irish. Her genteel snobbery was pretty funny.

I suspect it's a combination of investment fallacy; self-deception; and pure, uncut, 100% Colombian stoopid.

His brother confessed three times in one sitting that he thought about killing himself and Jack missed it all three times. His long-lost sister hung out with him for an hour and it sent her back into hiding.

There are mentally ill children who are more reasonable.

If your definition of "normie" includes "doesn't find children sexually titillating" then you've definitely gone too far to one side of the spectrum or the other.

I am about 6 days jewsperging-free, bout to get my very first chip!

ETA: my sponsor just gave it to me, but the edges are all uneven and clipped, like someone has shaved some of it off for some reason.

It's like they invent new ways to say "I have BPD" every day. It's almost impressive.

I've left skid marks in the toilet that were more thought-provoking than this wet shart of a video.

I know this is a bunch of ambiguous niggers huffing a fire extinguisher but why is this in the niggers eating cornstarch thread?

We don't have a niggers huffing fire extinguishers thread as far as I can tell

The Tranch may be gone, but the memory lives on in the hearts of men!

I've had a penis my whole life and I've never stuck it in anything unusual.
Starting to wonder if I've missed out now.

I say degrading and insulting things into my phone to demoralize the FBI agent assigned to me.

The retard thinks he is actually tough, cool and inspirational.

It's porn, memes, and stereotypes all the way down.
That's really all you have left after rejecting the reality of biological sex.

 

[demicolon]

Jayce is the “beastly” muscle-ly racially ambiguous himbo top in “situation-ship” with the sexytumblrman pale depressed disabled twink anti-hero power bottom.

 

[Sayer of the N-Word]

if both the bible and TOOL agree that something is bad, it's probably pretty fucking bad for your soul and you shouldn't do it!

 

[YellowIsACoolColor]

You didn't even TRY to give a response, FUCK YOU NIGGER, i hope you get shipped off to africa and raped by warlords for your fucking dishonesty.

 

[Bill Evans 45]

She looks like a water bloated fetus as described to a police sketch artist by a stoned preteen.

 

[Zeftax]

When I find good NSFW art I censor the penises in Photoshop. Most of my faved artists draw men as pooners anyway so I don't miss much.

I am still immeasurably unhappy but fuck it, that's life. At least my dick works.

type nigger in the terminal you dumb fuck retard

What you guys are talking about sounds like english but i have no idea what you're saying

There's an unwritten rule in cooking: never do what a nigger would do

 

[Metamorpho]

Transphobia is explicitly against TOS on kiwi farms. Null, ban this transphobic piece of shit immediately for photoshopping a beard on this beautiful trans woman.
#transwomenarewomen

 

[Aunt Carol]

Hello, penishaver here.

You misread. She actually said cannibalism.

I do not blame your brain for autofilling in cannabis.

Between those two dates, that's an average of 2.33 new genders a day...

The Hubble Gender constant defines the current rate of gender expansion. A gender's recessional velocity is directly proportional to its distance, and gender researchers use the redshift values of distant genders to calculate it.

About 90% of those involved with Watergate now are gone. Another reminder of getting older.

 

[Dickbucketz 117]

The brap shart overlord's influence is so mighty that sleeper agents are being remotely activated by Frankenstein 3D radio fart MP3 audio files to defend Dear Huffer's right to weigh in on the latest funny fart compilations (completely erect, mind you).

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Patrick's friendship with Spongebob is like something out of the Iliad for how emotionally intense it is.

K-Pop and fanfiction mix again, this time making this 640k+ word abomination where a guy steals panties from K-Pop idols (in an alternate universe) to jerk off in them:

My tmi confession is that when I'm home alone, I verbally debase people in body cam videos when I watch. I know that's total boomer behavior but I can't resist the urge to say "shut the fuck up you ugly roastie" or "I wish they *would* shoot you, you fucking nigger." It's all in good fun, though, I'm far more bemused than actually angry.

My TMI is that I say degrading and insulting things into my phone to demoralize the FBI agent assigned to me.

He's so transracial that his face is white, his brain is Indian and his voice is Mexican.

Media literacy is when America bad bad bad conservative evil evil evil!!!

 

[Pedophobe]

As usual, feel free to call me a retard, or a nigger, or a retarded nigger if you think what I wrote is stupid.

This is just more evidence that using social media makes you schizophrenic.

Awww I'm going to tear up, this is the nicest Nazi hate site ever! Thank you very much everyone!

 

[Autistic Joe]

Investing in cheese, silver and guns is not considered a "system".

Asking for tech advice from women is like asking for makeup advice from men.

 

[General Patton]

Let's you and I have gay sex.

 

[San Marino]

So, as a real nigger hater, I must say, you bear the stench of the phony.