random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Civillian 18]

tarkov fell into a ravine and dug itself into a cave so nikkita can chain hackers to a wall and milk them for cum

 

[30+GameOvers]

He looks like Fred Flintstone with Down syndrome.

 

[Gog & Magog]

Jews control the economy?

Yes, and now you will paypall me 100 bucks, i command you through my superior kabala magic.

Two Fun side stories from an Iranian friend of mine that shows how insane Persian women are.

First story: so my Iranian friend was dating a yoga instructor who owned her own studio in Tehran. Under the rules in Iran, technically men and women are separate, but because he was dating the woman who own and ran the place, he was able to pop in some time to time. And he told me that he noticed that many of the women would disappear for months on end and then just reappear. According to the woman he was dating. What happens is that the women at the yoga studio were all the mistresses of high-ranking irgc members. And what they would do is they would keep in perfect shape and then they would go be the 2nd women for these members. After a few months of being the 2nd and getting all the gifts, the woman would claim that she's pregnant and that she needed money for an abortion, and if she didn't give the money, and the ability to fly out of Iran, The mistress would tell his wife and also report him to the religious police. And the man would accept this form of blackmail, because in Iran, if you're (formally) caught being an adulterer, you're sentenced to death.

The irgc member would give her money and a plane ticket to Dubai, and she would have an abortion if she actually was pregnant or she would just hang out there if she wasn't or go to Europe. And then after a few months she would fly back to Iran. Get back into shape and move on to the next irgc member. And all these women did this. They would all move from one IRGC member to another.

 

[Aunt Carol]

The thing that broke me out of the cult mentality was realising that these people were fucking annoying.

We banned porn. Porn is capitalist. The destruction of the USSR brought porn, fag porn, troons, open prostitution, and open child grooming.

Okay, I am now of the opinion that all parties involved have some kind of brain damage, or I do.

(from flesh simulator's manifesto/etc)

 

[The Crack Spiders Bitch]

whole twenty minutes and the KF Jew Force hasn't deployed to yiddle on their fiddles about how this is actually gevalting based and circumcised.

"Yiddle on their fiddles" is one of the funniest things I've ever read on this website.

 

[Harvey Danger]

Just store the gender as a boolean

 

[Betonhaus]

The good lord doesn't close ten doors on you, repeatedly, without leaving a doggie door open.

 

[Cnidarian]

I have been thinking about this comic for the past few hours and it still doesn't make sense for me. Ordering a year worth of diapers take up a lot of space and are very expensive and yet this furfag has done so via online shipping. If you can even call them furfags as the comic's setting is within an anthromorphic analogy of modern western society. Is the entire setting centered around the joke?

The furry character here is a age player diaper fag that is not afraid to be outwardly presenting about his fetishes and kinks and wears it as his lifestyle. By ordering a year's worth of diapers, he must have a large budget to do so, meaning that he must have a good income to get by. Does he even have friends by being like this? Or has he lost all forms of self-shame, realizing that it is useless to feel. This could imply that the furfag resorts to prostitution, viewing the diapers as a business expense.

The other furry character, the donkey is optimistic with his delivery but is disappointed with the harsh reality that he is presented with. He is an ass that works a blue collar job trying to get by with his apprentice, a young red panda. And yet there is someone who is getting by without having to put in the same amount of effort he has to. I believe the joke here is that we're given too much freedom within this western society where capitalism decides a diaperfag is much more valuable than a hard working trucker.

 

[Archie Bunker]

"I wish God would kill me"

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

why are there so many god damn schizophrenics here

I regret to inform you that Japan has out-Americaned us.

There are so many great bears. Grizzly, Polar, Black, Sun, Moon, Panda, Koala (stfu I know it's a marsupial), Pooh, Big Blue House, even that little bitch Little Bear.
And you say "I don't especially like bears"??
Unacceptable.

Hm, I think I liked the original better.

What if a black streamer decided to react to the entire Comprehensive History series?

What if he then decided to occasionally wear a pickle suit?

Honorable mention: Miss Piggy.

i combined megatron with the 5 energy beasts

If a man isn’t some macho caveman stereotype, he must actually be a woman.

 

[SNEED.EXE]

The hippo looks at the donkey and asks "Are you fucking retarded?"

One of the Ten Commandments is literally "Thou shall not covet your neighbor’s wife's fat tits in the hot tub" so figure it out faggot.

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

I'll buy my wife G cups for her birthday thank you very much

 

[Path Wanderer]

bro's ears are raped after this.

 

[Sooty Soot]

>DUDE i just LOVE the hustle and bustle of Kiwifarms.net, it's so DYNAMIC and makes me feel like i'm in one of my favourite TURKEY TOM VIDEOS. it's like reddit BUT you can say NIGGER and FAGGOT!

The deeper I dive into Femtanyl, the more I am convinced her stuff is absolutely visionary and groundbreaking

 

[Law]

All men are gay to a certain extent, specifically in ways they've never stopped to consider.

 

[Paul Revere Pantry Raider]

There are medical side effects lines from pill commercial more vivid than you.

 

[RACISM]

i say we name the female anus the vussy

 

[Gentlebastard]

It's like seeing someone behind the the glass of the zoo enclosure

Pretty sure the straw that broke the camel's back was when she posted a page from an infamous gore manga wherein a baby is raped, thrown into a blender, and fed back to its mother.

My god, werewolves are the lamest thing imaginable and I don't care if this comes off as autistic but there is no dumber monster ever created. Fuck werewolves. They shit everything up.

"Planes confirms that WWII did happen in the Cars universe, therefore there was a Cars Rape of Nanking and Cars Holocaust"

I can feel Holden Bloodfeast's dying psychic imprints flowing through me, I now demand burning janny flesh.

ETA: There's a Wikipedia article and it's even worse than I thought.

As someone that has a genuine passion for baking, I’ve never been more disgusted and insulted in my life

He watched ten thousand videos of indians being hit by trains. This is what happened to his sides.

 

[teriyakiburns]

 

[SlaanyChaser]

Troons don't realize they are being treated the way one might treat a special ed kid.

God is up there and he loves to laugh at Kevin.

The nerves of the corpse skin are waking up any day now!!!

"What are you?"

Apparently not passing as a real woman.

Why is Benjamin Franklin so insistent that he didn't fuck his mother?

apu looking ass mf eagle lol

I've watched Null platform 2 different women on MATI to talk about their sexual assault and both of them turned out to be lying.

Was Null the BPD girl in this drama all along?

That we couldn't glean that you were really feeling yourself, high on being right about le sexual degeneracy and it's consequences?

you tied your ship to the credibility of women who POST ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP ISSUES ON KIWI FUCKING FARMS

bleeding out on concrete while a bunch of brownoids and zoomers point a camera at me

Is the site gonna be blamed for this death too despite also only being a <10 page thread?

They might find out about the Kiwi Farms Hit Squad now.

As someone he tried to sextort, it's been 48 hours since he's called me a bozo or a racial slur and it feels weird. Fuck, I'm gonna miss that retard.

We must secure the existence of our forum and continuous hatching of kiwi eggs.
Heil Hardin.

I hope that island isn’t upwind of Ireland because the smell from their stink ditches is going to be akin to Saddam Hussein gassing the Kurds.

Trannies and pooners really are tofu dreg humans.