random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[JustSomeDong]

It’s a tempban, not a dick, don’t take it so hard.

 

[Anatomical]

I feel like even an Athenian pederast literally mid pump in his 14 yr old slave-boy, or the Marquis De Sade with his dick literally buried inside a human skull-- or whatever-the-fuck it was that he was into-- even they would be like "bruhhh..."

 

[GunCar Gary]

Sir are you sure these are accounts worth responding to? The last one has an anime profile picture lol

 

[Helping Friendly Book]

Summon a billion of those damn Kiwi Farms trolls at her house, then gas her, and wait for her to commit suicide if the gas didn't kill her. Then, prepare for BlueSky troons to get everything about this FORUM. OFF. THE. INTERNET!

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

I will be called a nigger for saying this anecdote but I promise I'm just eastern European:

I think he was right tho. We all have a little bit of incestuous spirit inside of us like a bomb implanted in the chest

 

[Helping Friendly Book]

I’ll be honest and admit I confused this for another thread I’m new to posting.

 

[Gog & Magog]

There is no such thing as a 'gay relationship' it doesn't exist.

What do you call it when two homosexuals are engaged in sexual relations between each other?

Maladaptive behaviour. Like when a dog humps a chair, or someone eats their own hair.

But what if your hair is actually tasty?

Then that's fine. But if you as a man find cum tasty then that's not fine.

 

[Potato Burrito]

Even if men have no inherent physical advantage, even if the women's division only exists because the women want to use the darts as tampons after the game, that is still not a reason to allow men.

 

[General Emílio Médici]

Truly the Light Yagami of arguing on the internet about shit nobody cares about with people nobody cares about.

"Son... the klingon's a FAG!"

I've never been to Greggs, so i have to be racist in other establishments

*checks post time* I'm onto you. You just grabbed this from the front page of e621.
FAKE FAN ALERT!

I think Trump is somewhat racist, but I think he is less racist than me so I don't take those accusations seriously.

I’m offended as an antisemite. This art is shit. We deserve better representation.

Its like when you see gays and retards talk about Homosexuality is normal and not weird because it happens in animals my response is always just this video of a Chimpanzee raping a frog.

The movie 'Planes' is related to 'Cars', and both films canonically have WWII in it, which suggests that there was a car Holocaust, a car Rape of Honk-ing, the firebombing of Dresden, and the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

It's just a lollipops in the shape of some animals dude stop watching so much gay porno

Ok, let's pretend I'm black. Explain it now

 

[Golden Apple]

Well shit, i guess they just gotta die then.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

MY WIFE'S VAGINA IS UNDER ATTACK BY THE FLATULENT LEFT!!!

Imagine you get raped and murdered in some desolate Canadian highway by some rando and your legacy is that you are suddenly gay.

 

[Tablet County]

For example if I was hosting dirty orgies for homosexual fat people, and I was the main fat homo (I AM NOT THIS IS JUST AN EXAMPLE I SWEAR I'M NOT, I DO NOT DO THIS)

Banana

mmmmm

 

[long waters]

I confess that I have had three different sensual/sexual dreams involving Joshua Moon in the time I have been engaged with the Farms. This is my penance as it is my pleasure.

Joshua's small moustache twinkled in the snowgleam as he marched outward. I await his return.

Joshua Moon featured in another dream of mine. True to his astral self as imagined by me he remains aloof and cynical. There was little erotic component this time.

 

[Gentlebastard]

If you stared at Rick long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog.

You can't get any more deadass accurate about his personality and behaviour towards women in a simple sentence where your grasp of English is not perfect then in what this woman says. "You are not appropriate".

I would love to wave dollar bills at him to get him to dance like a monkey for me.

I would love to wave dollar bills at him to get him to dance like a monkey for me.

I'd like to throw pennies at him. I don't need him to dance.

You don't see them giving Nazis credit for their efficient use of people on trains.

Still kinda fucked in other ways, but hey, uh, progress I guess?

You cannot say such a word, it offends the great computer (Peace Be Upon It)!

The "K" in K-pop stands for "Kang".

You can conceptually suck my foundational nuts.

 

[JoseRaulChupacabra]

It's ok to be Mormon.

Damn, that's a nice diabetus hand.
I could post mine but they are perfect for this type of crap.

You said you used lotion in your interview, fake news!

Instagram-ready women whose lips are 200% botulism

 

[SNEED.EXE]

To everyone who ever said "I can't find Rekieta funny because there's children involved, which makes it more depressing than funny", God has seen fit to provide you with childless Rekieta.

 

[corvuscorax]

Ooooh, foxy pooner!

Here I come, little dood, comin to get you.

 

[PhoBingas]

It's the Chinstraps Superfund site.

 

[Speedrunner]

Your honor, I made a song about my rapist.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

The bread is stale, and the circus is boring.

The real reason they never read another book is that they were too retarded to understand the one they did read.

I'd love a way to objectively prove that something or somebody is s t i n k y

YOU'VE - STILL - GOT - IT
clap clap clapclapclap

When you see a spear chucker working for self improvement, then you go to reddit, and see all the whites there. You begin to understand what a low state a wigger is!

My officially stated goal is to make Will Stancil live a long and fulfilling life. At his house, in real life.

pol pot pol pot pol pot pol pot pol pot POL POT

Post-industrial America only sells lies.

I try not to give the Meso-American corn demons direct access to my body though.

Man why do we have so many marxist molochists and everyoneelsists on the farms?

*I'm masturbating alone and I don't know where I am.