random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Unnecessary Surgery Land]

We need to activate the Hitler resurrection machine immediately.

 

[Miss Violet Beauregarde]

I...thank you, Donkey Kong. I'm glad that you're cropped

It's my birthday today and I can't even get one dead jew.

 

[Hooked on phobics]

A trans problem requires a trans solution

it's not just a random hobo stumbling into the parliament, but a hobo with friends.

 

[Zeus Blue Thunder]

I have had multiple woman suggest through various means they want me to act like I'm raping them.

 

[Jimmy Dean Bowl]

Why Was You Fuckin Your Cuzzin

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

When will someone write an enemies-to-lovers romance novel about Null and Liz No-Dong Jones? It could be called "Consent Accident-ally Falling in Love".

is doxed before they can even earn it by doing something retarded

Unfortunately, I think we need to self regulate with bullying tards like you suggested earlier.

Don’t worry kiwis, if my current job doesn’t work out I plan on becoming a full-time lolcow

He could be torturing dissidents with car batteries if he didn’t suck at it.

Revoke this niggas melanin.

 

[gagabobo1997]

Getting serious reddit vibes from shit like this.

 

[obsdj]

Cyrano de Spergerac, witless fiend of the Tenth Circuit.

 

[Shartavius]

no asparagus/sprouts within 48 hours, shower after dookie always (bidet or baby wipes don’t cut it), shave shaft at minimum, scrub ass cheeks, cleft, thighs, torso with charcoal scrub, wash with unscented moisturizes bar soap and lightly loofa scrub, brand new undies (bacteria survive many washings), or no undies at all, no touching dick after applying deodorant, aftershave, cologne, etc until you’ve washed hands with isopropyl alcohol to not transfer perfumed tastes. No moisturizer creams or whole body deodorants,


Dry off after shower with hair dryer

Don’t be gassy

Don’t fart a lot . I’m not Jordan peterson

 

[Gentlebastard]

Never put a ring on crazy, never cohabitate with crazy and for gods sake, never fuck crazy in the ass.

Is it me or is anytime I see anything crop up out of reddit does mass thermonuclear hellfire covering this earth sound reasonable?

You're talking about the guy who admitted to weapons-grade extortion in a lawsuit he brought to try to get the state to enforce said extortion, while admitting loan fraud.

He will most certainly sue.

Edit: today I found out it's illegal to ride an elephant up Broadway in NY at 4am
https://www.nysenate.gov/legislation/bills/2017/S2098 You joyless faggots.

Your cumskin timmycel sister's onlyfan brain cannot fathom the levels of 76IQ narcissistic powerplays that are happening in every interaction at all times in the Glorious Saarat.

If this person earnestly, calmly and politely told me the sky was blue today, I would quietly glance out a window just to make sure it hadn't just turned neon pink or nuclear fire-hot yellow/red.

This still image of this crazy broad is all I need to know she's 1) insane, 2) lying, 3) violent, 4) addicted to illegal substances, 5) a liability to everyone and everything in her orbits, 6) broke, 7) stupid, angry and 9) worthless.

 

[Law]

Some days this feels like the last sane place on the internet, which is in itself an insane proposition.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

YOU GOT CUCKED BY A FUCKING CARTOON RABBIT

The fuck is this? Mario singing Eminem?

"If-a you only had-a one-a shot-a, one-a opportunity"

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

I can't believe my Japanese animes lied to me.

He was petty and vengeful before. He is not anymore. Everyone can turn a new leaf including God.

So, yeah I'm going to need you to post hands. And hands alone are no longer sufficient, they need to be holding bacon.

should be a rule that if you get phonebooked you loose profile locking rights i need to shit post directly.

SHUT UP YOU NEW FAG CUCKTY CRACKA COO! I'M AN OLD MAN AND I SMACK MY STICK IN YOUR RACE YOU JEWISH RABBLE RABBI!

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

Surely we’re running out of retard kidneys by now. I know I am.

There’s nothing worse than discovering that a poster you liked is actually a fat ugly pedophile. What a shame.

KIWI SISTER NOOOO. YOU'RE ONLY SUPPOSED TO JOIN THE FARMS AFTER YOU'RE DONE WITH FANDOM AND HAVE LEFT TUMBL AND PIXIV FAR BEHIND FUCK WHAT ARE YOU DOING

Why can't you guys just be fucking normal

Mei is like an autistic retarded friend to me, no way! Only @Rango Dango is my lover! Dirty little polack faggot!

Nanomachines or sumthing idk.

A self-described lesbian that openly talked about how she hates misogyny began to thirst for a fucking cowboy muslim so much that she converted to his religion lmao.

I had a feeling in the back of my mind it was headed this direction when she gave her Fishtank username out in the open to try to get people to send her fishbux so she could spend it simping for the autistic ginger weeb cowboy muslim.

It’s a website nigga, just close the tab and walk away.

"on one hand i like her for being nice to me, on the other hand she enjoyed drawings of little girls being fucked....... i'm just so conflicted........"

retard

Also, what is it about farms and overweight people? Seriously

The Crabshack DM chain is Kiwi Farms' Epstein Island.

can someone explain to me why this person gets to jerk off to little girls being dismembered

while this is like the only site on the internet I can even post the nigger word on anymore

what the fuck is wrong with this world

I just want to name the jew

 

[vomitusdeux]

Apparently this is normal zoomer mating behavior.

Do you realize? Do you realize something? Let me tell you: If the Erie County APS sees those videos that I put on the damn Internet., they could condemn my autism grift, and I would have to move on?

Man I’d really prefer it if he’d be quiet

Get a better computer diapernigger.

Time numb, piss blind, and cold illiterate.

Erie PD can 100% confirm that it's turds.

I wear my sunglasses at night,
so I can sped all through the night~

right off the bat, I could not help but notice this dudes troon voice sounds like Winnie the Pooh mixed with high pitched Eric.

So apparently, the person who sounds like high pitched eric from the first video is a registered sex offender who had kidnapped a 10 year old child while they were "20 something"

Whipping yourself while begging Jesus and Mary for forgiveness is objectively less deranged and dangerous than sticking your dick in BPD.
Hope he's alright.

Surely we’re running out of retard kidneys by now. I know I am.

I thought she was a Japanese lesbian with a foot fetish

Bro she got more pit hair than I do, and I'm a fully grown man.

one thing her and her prohpet share is a love for little girls

"on one hand i like her for being nice to me, on the other hand she enjoyed drawings of little girls being fucked....... i'm just so conflicted........"

 

[Sooty Soot]

I'll admit if it wasn't for Hetalia and Polandball, I'd probably would not be here.

 

[General Zoider]

I wanna sniff Null's armpits

 

[Metamorpho]

Nah, piss off. The gerudo literally make clay golems and have disturbing noses. Hylians are germanic.

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

This shit pissed me off so much I baked oatmeal mud cookies
View attachment 8875113

Doesn't every kid remember being taught "AND GOD SAID UNTO THEE, 'NIGGER NIGGER WOMEN'S FEET NIGGER WOMEN'S FEET' " in Sunday School?

 

[Harm]

>griffith gay shota doujin
>manhater
>lesbo
>hapa
>loves men being raped in the ass