random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[GunCar Gary]

People tried talking to her so much that she hired a witch to confidently announce at her wedding that anyone who said anything negative about their new marriage, even in private, would be cursed.

 

[LimeRikki]

I polled the 10 of the hummingbirds that are hovering around my feeders and they all said gallrein was a zog bot puppet, so that's another data point for you.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

I hate Pinkie Pie actually; she is loud and annoying, much like a black woman.

i am legally retarded.

 

[Harvey Danger]

Hitler brownshirts evolved to brownskins.

 

[Dr. Butt]

One day I intend to write my 1500 page alternate history epic about how the world would be different if Bill had been caught giving a blowjob instead of receiving one.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Seems a bit excessive to get a vasectomy just because he wanted to be absolutely sure he'll never reproduce. Becoming an admin of kiwifarms would have been a much less drastic way of achieving that.

She's doing that angle to flex her schnoz on the goyim.

Yea their political position seems to be "I think only etnic minorities and people making under 50k a year should be able to legally fuck kids"

You know, when I was younger I fell in with the wrong crowd, really politically charged. We planned a fascist takeover of government, we had bombs, guns, maps of government buildings, marked which clubs key politicians frequented. But then that night, as we gathered in a room with the windows taped shut, I looked over the candlelight to my coconspirators, and I only saw white male faces. When I pointed this out, we all realized our systematic racism and we blew the whole thing off. You just can't topple a legitimate government unless you have a couple of niggers, women and trannies in your group.

Bruh wth, you glimpsed at hell? Did you at least pray for God's protection before browsing hell?

That thumbnail is great. Who doesn't want to talk about history with your bro while both of you are shitting

There you have it, folks. The only thing on this earth worse than u/gallowboob is a literal mass-child-rapist.

Old cartoons better.
Check out Boomerang some time.
Yabba Dabba Doo.

How I remember
Endless days of summertime
Watching fun cartoons

But we all grow up
And summer turns to autumn
And time slips away

The new cartoons suck
and I have to go to work
Desolate winter

Yet I retain hope
for spring's around the corner
Good art will prevail

Cartoons can be fun
But until they are again
I'm on KiwiFarms

The only solace for me at least, being that every day of wretched life for them is a slightly worse hell than the day before.

As a Mario fan, we agree that we're bad users with fetish intentions that listen to the mario trap remix!

At jew puppet Stephen Yaxley-Lennon ('Tommy Robinson')s pro niggerification of Britain rally, British 'patriots' line up to have their photo taken with 'nationalist' 'pornstar' slag Lana Wolf, the 'star' of such productions as 'Multiple Creampie Threesome For Rimming Slut Lana Wolf' and 'Cheating Pawg Lana Wolf's Boyfriend Unknowingly Eats Buddies Creampie' (at least it wasn't intentional, I guess).

If we use "youtube viewers are fucking retards" as an excuse not to post things, nobody would ever post anything.

I've had an ongoing series of daydreams where I develop time travel and use it to open a modern ice cream shop in medieval England. I'd let people barter for it with whatever random shit they like if they don't have money, and I'd periodically go back to the present to donate the stuff the villagers trade me to a museum so I could write it off on my taxes. Plus I'd get to impress people with my knowledge of medicine and science, my relatively advanced technology, and I could introduce them to flavors they'd never get otherwise, like pineapples or chocolate.

100% what I was going for, if I could've put hovering anime fairy gifs that chime/animate when you click them and autoplay a playlist of annoying eurobeat songs like Caramelldansen and Every Time We Touch by Cascada, I would've. I want a KF style that makes people regret having eyeballs and earholes.

 

[JustSomeDong]

WHO'S AN EDGY RETARD?! OOOOO, YOU AN EDGY RETARD!!! DID YOU BLAME THE JOOS OH YES YOU BLAMED THE JOOS SUCH A GOOD JOOBER!! WHAT'S THAT?! WHAT'S THAT?! YOU GONNA SPERG ON DA TWITTER?! YOU GONNA TAKE THAT JOO MONEY AND START A PODCAST?! OH YEAH, YOU GONNA HANG OUT WITH INFLUENCERS NOBODY LISTENS TO OH YES YOU ARE YOU SUCH A GOOD JOOBY JOOBER!! YOU LOVE YOUR ETHICS, YES YOU DO!!! YOU WANT SUM MUZZIE FUNDING?! GOOD BOY, HERE DAT MUZZIE FUNDING!!!! GONNA HANG OUT WITH TUCKER AND ACT LIKE GOOFY GOOB NIGGERS, SUCH A GOOD BOI!!!!
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I tried reading the thread highlights but it's just people arguing about how much of a cow you can fit in a freezer.

 

[Meat Target]

Just eat your own poop. Infinite food glitch.

 

[Cun75p4rkl35]

It's too uncomfortable to sit with my butt baby up there. I got the nigger one, btw. Extra-large.

I mean I'd think it was weird that someone had a silicone baby, but I wouldn't recognize that it's supposed to be a dildo upon seeing it IRL. Because I'm not a pornsick troon that wants to stick babies up my ass.

"maybe don't openly display your mangled crotch flesh in the virtual town square if you don't want people to gawk at you like a circus sideshow."

The only thing that could make this better is if Cooper kills himself.

 

[Tablet County]

Son, let me tell you the story of how I met your mother on an online gossip forum dedicated to an autistic retard that raped his mother.

You can't motorboat a good heart.

 

[Among Us Gaming]

Would a reader need to know about Hermione's loose stool because butterbeer contains lactose?

 

[Gentlebastard]

Canadians are worse than malicious: they're retards.

The fact that he manually types out every single message to every single atalker is almost beyond belief. He gets nothing out of doing this, but he does it anyway. This, I believe, elevates him far above the rest of humanity in terms if sheer will.

What a joy it is, to behold the divine.

Of course he's not happy. He probably knows deep down the police fucking hate him now and if a real crisis happens he's fucked on getting their help, and the $500k (minus taxes and attorney fees) doesn't stop the Internet trolls from calling him a fat faggot Midwestern rube daughter-abandoner fake tough guy fake conservative progressive blowhard drunk gay FAT retard failed comedian and author inhale with bitchtits.

I am sure 95% of this site would be lobotomized in 1926.

Every time I think he could not sink lower into his evil narcissistic depravity I am proven wrong.

I'm kind of enjoying that this fat bastard isn't even enjoying his victory. He is as miserable, angry, and fat as ever. Personally, if you just handed me a half million dollars I would be one thrilled motherfucker

The whole world is your own, personal amusement park if only you’re nigger enough.

*sigh*… I wish I were a mindless retard who could just wander about freely, shoplifting a little here, masturbating in public a little there, unemcumbered by any worries or even coherent thoughts. It sounds kinda fun, really

"I wasn't even manmoding," he writes - which is a slang term for dressing as your birth sex instead of in a crude approximation of the cartoon girl who first inspired a mix of envy and arousal in you

Time for another round of "Where's Tardo?"

 

[Dante Alighieri]

Show me your tires and proof of purchase, NPC.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

You don't get special exemptions because you take cock up the ass.

Nimbys and hoa enjoyers

this is extremely counter-revolutionary behaviour.

Thank you for caring about my health absoluteniggo you always looking out for me dawg(don't get any ideas), and don't worry I will, enlightening goywi farms is hard work! But someone has to do it, and it's a sacrifice I am willing to make

Different dog breeds have different adaptations that often correlate with intelligence, and can be amplified or reduced via selective breeding.

This post isn't about dogs.

Some of you are alright. Don't go to Flavortown tomorrow.
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Well, that stirred up a lot of conflicting feelings I never wanted.

the mother-husband was inseminated

 

[BeardedWall]

I am a dicknigger/pickme who knowingly clicked on the Man-Hate Thread, here is my misogynistic wall of text nobody asked for, please don't bully me with it.

The phrase "dicknigger" made me giggle.