random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

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just be gay
I read this in Dennis Reynold's voice.
ALL YOU FUCKERS ARE WRONG. AIR SHIPS WORK SO WELL THE PTB HAD TO PSYOP EVERYONE INTO REJECTING THEM AS UNSAFE WITH THE HINDENBURG. I COULD HAVE HAD A HIGHLY FLAMABLE FLYING CAR THAT WOULD TAKE ME TO WORK SLIGHTLY FASTER THAN A REGULAR CAR BECAUSE OF THE STRAIGHT LINE DISTANCE BUT NOW I HAVE TO DEAL WITH FUCKING TRAFFIC LIKE SOME SORT OF PRISONER IN AN AI THOUGHT BUBBLE GIVE ME MY AIRSHIP, GIVE ME FREEDOM, WHY DON'T WE LIVE IN TIMELINE B YOU WRONG FUCKERS.
It do be like that.
otters are distant cousins to the walrus
I highly recommend a Google image search for "dog making a stupid face".
 
He's a manic pixie dream girl if she was a fat, male, middle aged, Midwestern, midwitted* misogynistic, racist doughy bag of lard and loneliness.

Imagine being the We Have Chuck Wendig At Home.

Teachers, priests, rabbis, Minecraft YouTubers and Mormons. Like a pentagram of pedophiles

I'm getting my cock chipped. When they ask for ID I'll start taking my pants off and present the chip, then berate them when they waste my time staring at my cock instead of scanning my ID. Then I'll call them a meatgazer.

Maybe English really was invented by Yakub to oppress the black

(insert clip of Pierre Woodman calling some east-European 20-year-old a sperm garage)

I don't know if we need fewer chemicals in the water, or much much more.
 
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