random_text.txt

[Yamamura]

I Got Hit By A Car And Now I'm A Cute Magical Girl With Big Boobies!

 

[Poonocchio]

There is a nonzero chance Liz has watched MATI while dilating at least once.

 

[Meat Target]

If anyone out there can explain why homoerotic fascists keep seeking my company, please let me know.

 

[Gentlebastard]

We accept the death penalty for murderers, why not for pedophiles?

A woman has insulted your penis. Please follow this handy flow chart.

She has small tits -> "Shut up, washboard"
She has big tits -> "Shut up, fatty"
She has medium tits -> "Shut up, cunt"

tl;dr: society + clitoris

Belgium is even less of a country than Canada is, on both a de facto and de jure level. Its continued existence boggles me.

You beautiful son of a bitch, you!

It is amazing how they keep finding new ways to lower the bar.

We all already know the real reason these freaks want to "protect" kids from their parents of course. Same as a fox protecting eggs from the hen.

My kid went from breastmilk to brisket and blueberries. Like basically the best diet you can have.

Postmodern parenting: let your baby choose their own gender but God forbid they'd ever look at meat, eggs, or dairy products!

Hey everyone likes shitting on retards, it’s why this website exists!

It's just funnier to imagine the wildlife of Florida being just as methed up as the Florida Man memes.

Each time I eat a banana, I do so spitefully, black-heartedly. "Yeah, ya fuckin nigger, you like that, dontcha".

I don't remember asking those nasty-smelling, cheese-eating sex pest surrender monkeys a damn thing.

That crocodile had to learn to box to defend its cloacal virginity

Leave it to the dumb assholes on reddit to perpetuate the idea that when someone compliments you, you should check the person doing it for sensitivity.

girls don't poop, retard.

Maybe Satan won't let her into Hell if she doesn't quit this awful Jesus thing.

being disgusted at men pissing and shitting each other on the street in the name of Gay Rights makes you a bigot

"Why can't you be decent?" says the Jewish woman with a piss fetish, wants to get a frankendick, releases criminals back onto the street, and defends a known pedophile organization.

"Is transphobia everywhere?"

God, I wish.

Haiti is such a collective fuck up that even Canada was like "yea were not going to waste anymore money on you because you're such a failure". When other nigger countries are saying the country needs an intervention you know you are a fuck up.

I wish KF was as dangerous as these lying histrionic faggots pretend it is.

Don’t go to bed with men who vote far right, left-wing leader tells women

Someone needs to write the article "Don't Pay For The Woman's Food On A Date If They Vote Far Left" and watch the outrage.

Listen men you should take it as a point of pride you deep dicked a woman from a they/them to a she/her.

I'd much rather a pastor tell me I'm gonna burn in hell for liking the rock n roll over some smug pseudo intellectual talking about how a sky daddy doesn't exist as he sticks a banana up his ass

Preaching to lefty moth to avoid the chud flame is just not going to work.

Its ok conservative boobs are bigger because they are full of patriotism

 

[Cryptosporidium 136]

I'm not above bullying a literal retard.

 

[Meat Target]

I raped and slaughtered thousands of deadly nigger kike faggots over the weekend at Arby's for funsies and now I am king of everything and powerscaling or some shit.

Total nigger death: An erotic light novel

It doesn't matter how I look at it, it's you guys' fault this still doesn't look like a vagina.

 

[JustSomeDong]

Spooky Scary Skeletons is a Racist Dogwhistle:

The narrator says they’re “misunderstood”, but refuses to socialize with them, and frequently talks about how they’re noisy and driving him crazy.


“They’ll sneak from your sarcophagus and just won’t let you be.”

“They’ll smile and scrabble slowly by and drive you so insane.”

“…shout startling shrilly screams”

“Bags of bones seem so unsafe…”

It’s essentially “get out of the cities”, Halloween edition.

 

[Kittenwaffen]

He's not wrong I just wish he'd put on a shirt.

 

[Meat Target]

What in the fuck is going with you Americans? I keep hearing about budgets and government shutdowns and collapse. What niggardly shit did your fucking retarded politicians do NOW?

 

[behavioral swamp thang]

There are almost endless layers here and the writers did a brilliant job in creating him. Steve Urkel is perhaps the greatest mythological inspired villain in modern pop culture.

Essentially, Steve Urkel is a manifestation of an ancient African trickster spirit, sent to punish the Winslow family for their lack of respect of their ancestors.

Many people believed Steve Urkel "jumped the shark" when he went to space. space throughout mythology has been since as a void of nonexistence, a holy ether, the heavens, etc. It is symbolism and pretty much a direct slap in the face that Steve Urkel exists outside of the Earthly realm.

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

@Shidoen try Etsy, it's where a lot of woo makers hang out.

what is a woo maker?

 

[1Tonka_Truck]

a hose is a water pump.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Dick falling off is actually a fairly common recurring dream among men but in the case of the pooner thats actually a legitimate concer as it is something that can happen to her for real.

Wait did a troon just walk into this thread and hand over an L personally ?

Press F to enjoy prison.

What’s he gonna do next? Publish another book to modest acclaim? Hang out with real life friends instead of endlessly screeching on the bird app?

Pathetic.

He didn't say hammer time though so it's not legally binding.

Just yanking your chain. it's what I do.

Did James Joyce ever create a character as deep and nuanced as Jar-Jar Binks? Did Feodor Dostoyevsky have a protagonist as invincible, flawless and loveable as Galadriel from that truest realisation of Tolkien's vision, The Rangz of Powah? No they did not, tiny baby stalker suckling infant toddler child, they did not.

I didn't think cum brownies could've been topped but here we are.

He cant be pretty intelligent if hes shoving random trash up his asshole.

He's not clearing his search history either. This kid is dumb as a sack of rocks.

Your son isn’t dildoing his ass to “hot bewbs.” He’s dildoing his ass to a discord predator

Sir, your son is fucking the cat.

So, you just outted your 14 year old son being a power bottom before he even starts high school

Sanity has preva-

"Son we won't give you a dildo, that's enabling, but here's a condom to put over a cucumber you ram up your rectum, germs and all that"

I'm cautiously optimistic. Let's say I'm about 3% optimistic. The government has a billion different ways to fuck this up.

Rumors about the death of Kiwifarms have been greatly exaggerated.

Lol imagine being too fat to troon out.

I do my streaming from dodgy Russian pirate sites, thank you.

You're not non-binary, you're just obese to the point where you've become androgynous.

I mock the shit out of these idiots who die like this because if I didn't, I think I would go insane with anger. The eternal cope of the anglo, just laugh, because if you cry you will not stop.

A man killed in a place named Malcom X Boulevard? I am shocked I say, shocked.

Look at that hair. He deserved to be stabbed.

What is the world coming to when its not even safe for trannies to molest children?

 

[Cumeatsioner Gordon]

making it ideal for smoking crack

 

[Oxyjen]

You are going to space prison, stalker alien child.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I've owned at least four different cats in my lifetime and none of them under any circumstances have licked my crotch area.

 

[not william stenchever]

I do not expect to be a suspect in her disappearance

 

[Doxmatix]

From King Cobra's livestream yesterday:

“People are dying of starvation and aids in Africa and I’m sitting here aids-free eating free pizza. How is this trolling?”

 

[Generic Anime Girl]

"oh yeah FUCK YEAH, read me Thomas the Tank Engin--IM CUMMING!!!!"

Let’s hypothesize autistic porn scenarios until we save the white race

"Did you buy my season pass, baby? Mm, yeah...mmph... Buy those gun skins, yeah...that's right. Ooooh! Ahhh! Here comes the big update!! Spread your harddrive!!!!"

 

[Seafarer]

Do you mind sharing what your specific area of expertise and level of education is?

(In reply)

He's incredibly autistic.