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A few gems
 
I have a little fungus on my 7th toe from the left/4th from the right. I've been using an ancient remedy to get rid of it: urine. And I don't just piss on my toe when I AM at home. I only wear sandals now when I go out and if I need to pee, well, I don't waste it. You can't miss spotting me in a row of urinals. I make sure I wipe my foot before coming back to the restaurant table. My gf doesn't know.

Attributed to @Brad Watson_Miami
 
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