random_text.txt

[Tablet County]

Randy, all I'm asking is that you don't shoot at the former president.

 

[Gaunt King Ithan Rilph]

if it worksdont break it

 

[Smokeski]

I know the game is troll , but this drama has gone on far enough.

 

[Anonitolia]

So this is gonna sound like a joke, but I warn all readers it is not.
So last year I got COVID for a second time, I was in bed coughing my brains out.
So I'm in pajamas, and have been eating nothing but soups.
I feel a fart coming out, and as I do I fall into a coughing fit.
I sprayed liquid shit right through my pj pants.
It soaked my sheets, I am coughing and gagging uncontrollably.
I fall off the bed and hit my head on the rock hard ground, the impact paired with the foul smell made me vomit.
So here I am helplessly rolling and coughing in human excrement, when I just pass out.

I wake up in the bathtub, luckily my roommate had heard the giant thud and discovered me on the ground and put me in the recovery position in the tub.

I had to throw away that mattress and anything fabric in my room, I still get called a poopiepants by him to this day.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Surely whatever ypou use to kill 1000 puppies can take down at least a few people.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

It's always 'skirt go spinny', but never 'broom go sweepy'. I wonder why.

I honestly don’t think the transgender flag has ever been ironed since it’s been invented

If they get rid of hot chip, then what's next lies? Twerking? Being bisexual? Charging they phone?

We have rules about how we interact with them which are for the good of the common. Failing to respect those rules makes you at best an arrogant fuckwad, and at worst a savage who is too stupid and lacking in impulse control to live in a civilized society.

Throw in Jeets, Niggers, Pitbulls and Seagulls and you have a recipe for the best PPV Wrestling cage match since The Undertaker took on Mankind in hell in the Cell.

Elementary school kids on social media is the real crime here.

Probably something that is being passed down rapist to rapist in the rapist cell block so they can feel like they are using their rape powers for good when really they are just fucking sickos who belong where they are.

I know I wouldn’t be able to sleep if I heard someone yelling “get out of my butthole” all night.

I really wish I didn't smoke that DMT back in 2015 - I want off this clown train.

"Swedish Academic Who Wrote Masturbation Research Paper Released Into the North Sea Via Helicopter by Team of Koreans led by Elderly Mustachioed Georgian."

What even happened? Is there zero self-awareness? Has he drifted so far from reality that he actually thinks writing a book on shota won’t have the normies grabbing their pitchforks?

This is why Sweden will never be taken seriously

Buffalo buffalo booty warrior.

Gotta love how couching degeneracy in academic terms makes any subject valid, you can write on the merits of raping, killing, and eating your entire family in the name of Satan if it's written correctly.

They'll direct their pitchforks at you for your hate speech towards poor LGBT MAP folx, over half the country is Democrat and bemoan Republicans removing gay porn from elementary schools.

In fact, this faggot's book is probably less explicit than the gay propaganda libtards are littering libraries with, and the only criticism they'll have is that one of his little boys on the cover of his shota book isn't black and trans and fat, so he's actually Nazi-adjacent and needs to do better.

fire retardant? lol fire retard. i love the word retard

I would like to know more about this theoretical balloon-cat technology.

I confess that my balloon harness technology does not address this problem.

I only endorse beating people with sticks below the point that they end up with brain trauma. How are people supposed to learn from beating them with sticks if you beat them bloody retarded?

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

SHUT THE HELL UP NERDS!

 

[part timer]

My life is PRIVATE not for NOSEY TROLLS WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO STAY THE FUCK OUT OF IT.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Trannies love talking about how many loads they can take up their ass, but never talk about doing loads of laundry.

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

Also, reminder that kids are fucking stupid and easy to find dox on so if one annoys you anywhere online then you can just contact their parents.

Killers really have the worst tastes.

 

[S.C.U.D.]

Do you really regret not making a screen shot of another man's penis?

 

[part timer]

Someone who doesn't exercise, over eats, sits on their computer on day in and day out, etc, I am not fit to lift a Six foot one Woman.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Cracked ribs hurt and take weeks to heal. Every deep breath is a reminder that it was indeed, not yo cheese.

 

[Tablet County]

Woah. Rekieta is a racist? How do we cancel that nigger. That shit is unacceptable.

Nigger is race agnostic now.

Anisa is a fridge and I would not store my cold ones in her.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Americans who lived through the Depression/Dust bowl: "I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE FULL, CLEAN YOUR PLATE!"

Chinese who lived through Mao: "CREAN WHORRE BUFFET, CRUSH PEOPRRE STAND IN YOUR WAY"

I hate myself sometimes.. I was still a little in the dark so like an idiot I tempted fate and googled it...

Aghhhhhhhh!

Nigger is race agnostic now.

And of course his Twitter has a video of him masturbating in pantyhose.

It's like he's a personification of Clown World: he even dresses like a freakshow clown.

This dummy should have been institutionalized decades ago. It’s terrifying that he procreated and owns firearms.

His real issue with Five Guys is that he went there by himself hoping he'd be able to participate in a gay gang bang and it didn't happen.

I used to troll porn site comment sections (sad i know, but i was bored and it was funny)

This sentence is the kind of thing that would be emblazoned on the walls of Hell itself, except it embarrasses even Satan, who is the Devil.

Who needs healthy interactions with other people when you can just rely on cheap media tropes.

If he's not a teletubby then why was he on television looking tubby?

I applaud your courage for posting this on Kiwi Farms but perhaps you should also post this in an email to your mental health professional.

 

[Law]

She's plastic as hell while Melania is basically as close to perfection as an actual human can get. Loomer looks like Jigsaw in a wig while Melania literally does not have a bad angle. As a (rare?) lady kiwi I know that there is so much more to life than outward appearances, but IMO Melania annihilates Laura in the categories of class, intelligence, and worldliness as well.

This should become a copy pasta.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

If u knew the things I've done you wouldn't be taking that threat so lightly, Lol

I do whatever I want kid

LOL keep talking and mayb I will pay you a visit next

Post proof of location and I'll pull up in the next month to beat the shit out of u bro

I'm literally both an expert marksman and martial artist. I'm untouchable anywhere I go but delude yourself more. And problem?

All of us 764 og's converted to gnosis and belief in the dhamma we are setting up a nexion of sorts in Asia to study soon.

 

[Azdy]

Why would I want to believe in an imaginary friend? Why have faith when we have logic and science?

 

[Frostnipped Todger]

This might just be the most successful kikeperation since they, you know, killed God.

 

[DwayneTheSockJohnson]

From the MATI stream