ranting about video game remakes

[skykiii]

The original Resident Evil trilogy was just released on some PC storefront recently, I think.

Yeah immediately after I used it as an example, I got a notification that GOG put up the old PC releases (hopefully patched because I remember RE2PC having issues even on the hardware of the day).

 

[Metallic Blood]

One remake that will always be funny to me is Final Fantasy Tactics: War of the Lions. It's a remake that is based of the Japanese version, and sadly, it reverted all the amazing balance changes made by the NoA localization.

Most NoA balancing changes were making the game less grindy (a.k.a less tedious), but one change that sticks in my mind is the stealeable Genji set. It's basically the best armor in the game that is unonbtainable in the Japanese PS1 version, but in the NoA release, for some reason, they removed Elmdor's (the boss who wears said armor) ability to prevent it from being broken or stolen, which kudos to them for it! It's not even a super OP armor, but it has been a tradition of me and almost every Tactics player I know of to grind a Thief specifically to steal the Genji Armor and Genji Helm.

Another change that sticks out is the re-translation, the original version had a severe case of broken english which was updated in the remake to have more of a "English Shakespearen" vibe (It was the medieval ages afterall), and while I like the new translation... It disappoints me immensely that they removed a lot of the absolute gems we had in the original.

Spoiler: My absolute favorite one (Algus and Milluda)

Original:
Algus: "From the minute you were born you had to obey us! From the second you were born you were our animals!!"

Milluda: "Says who!? That's nonsense! Who decided all of this?!"

Algus: "It's the Will of Heaven!"

Milluda: "Heaven! God would never say such things! In his eyes, all are equal! He'd never let this happen! Never!"

Algus: "Animals have no God!!"

Milluda: "!!!!"



WoTL:
Argath (both names got changed): "You've been less than we from the moment your baseborn father fell upon your mother in
whatever gutter saw you sired! You've been chattel since you came into the world drenched in common blood!"

Milleuda: "By whose decree!? Who decides such foul and absurd things?"

Argath: '"Tis heaven's will!"

Milleuda: "Heaven's will? You would pin your bigotry on the gods? No god would fain forgive such sin, much less embrace it! All men are equal in the eyes of the gods!"

Argath: "Men, yes. But the gods have no eyes for chattel."

Milleuda: "You speak of devils, not gods!"

Overall, while it's a good remake (ignoring the slowdowns), it still makes me sad that they removed all the things that made the original NoA localization so special, It's like the TTYD remake all again, but intead of intentionally being awful, they had good intentions to fix something that was broken, but accidentally removed some of its broken charm as well.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

I saw that they recently announced that Dead Rising will get a remake with a remastered version, and they made Frank West go from looking like a journalist that covered wars to looking like a guy who has a very bad bed head.

This is the old Frank West:



Now, this is supposed to be the new one:



Even the way how his face moves looks different when one pauses the frame:



I could go on here, but the point I’m making is that I’m still glad that I have the original one, even if some of the bosses were sometimes hard to beat to the point that I had to take a break from the game and figure out what went wrong.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

I saw that they recently announced that Dead Rising will get a remake with a remastered version, and they made Frank West go from looking like a journalist that covered wars to looking like a guy who has a very bad bed head.

This is the old Frank West:

View attachment 6132857

Now, this is supposed to be the new one:

View attachment 6132856View attachment 6132858

Even the way how his face moves looks different when one pauses the frame:

View attachment 6132862

I could go on here, but the point I’m making is that I’m still glad that I have the original one, even if some of the bosses were sometimes hard to beat to the point that I had to take a break from the game and figure out what went wrong.

He always looked kinda weird to me but holy hell, Capcom's modern art direction is fucking dreadful. Dante looks like shit too, and every Resident Evil chick, and 90% of the Street Fighter cast.

 

[skykiii]

He always looked kinda weird to me but holy hell, Capcom's modern art direction is fucking dreadful. Dante looks like shit too, and every Resident Evil chick, and 90% of the Street Fighter cast.

Capcom has always had weird tastes in art. Its one reason I fell out of Street Fighter starting with Alpha... everyone just kinda looks weird. Most especially Chun-li, who I call "Thunder Thighs" because of her weird proportions.

 

[Lone MacReady II]

Remakes went from "loving updates" to "mandated revisionism".

Capcom's modern art direction is fucking dreadful.

>Capcom's modern art direction.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

>Capcom's modern art direction.
View attachment 6135288

Lmao Capcom's nigger worship is out of control. Part of me suspects one of the reasons Pragmata was delayed is because they don't want a pretty blonde haired white girl to be a main character for any of their games anymore, so when (or if) we see it again she will be changed to a bug-eyed niggress or something.

Their DEI guys probably saw the entire game as "problematic" actually, a male protecting a female? Not very progressive, shut it down.

 

[Dysnomia]

Yeah immediately after I used it as an example, I got a notification that GOG put up the old PC releases (hopefully patched because I remember RE2PC having issues even on the hardware of the day).

I have the first remake on Gamecube and PS3. It's awesome. I don't have the specs for the other remakes and Switch only has them on Cloud. My internet is not fast enough for that. Plus I hate the concept. Apparently Switch uses Cloud service for games it can't really play otherwise. Are they skippable trash or passable? I'm thinking it's best to just play the old ones based on some of the comments I've seen.

Remakes went from "loving updates" to "mandated revisionism".

>Capcom's modern art direction.
View attachment 6135288

I had that cassette player.

Who's the ugly woman that looks like Fox Mulder in drag?

 

[augment]

I was fine with remakes until they started meddling with the text and art to "update it for modern sensibilities".
Like sure go ahead and censor your stuff, but don't be surprised when everybody chooses not to buy it because you fucked with it.

 

[urr13 account]

I am extremely nervous about the Max Payne remake, I hope it will be good and respect Sam Lake but the first two games, in particular the second, feel like lighting in a bottle almost, the atmosphere and vibe of Max Payne 2 is unmatched and I'm not sure it can be recreated.

 

[Dynamite Bean]

I don't have any hopes for the splinter cell 1 remake, even ignoring the "modern audience" woke shit and MTX that's inevitable, the original still plays mostly fine with some rouge edges, a remaster with some QOL features and restored levels, including the nuclear power plant that was only on the PS2 version, would be better

not just that but why a remake? why not a soft reboot that takes place after chaos theory, series doesn't feel the same without lambert due to his death in double agent
i'd be more than fine with a new game that puts double agent, conviction, and blacklist into a separate canon

 

[Nick Gars]

I saw that they recently announced that Dead Rising will get a remake with a remastered version, and they made Frank West go from looking like a journalist that covered wars to looking like a guy who has a very bad bed head.

This is the old Frank West:

View attachment 6132857

Now, this is supposed to be the new one:

View attachment 6132856

That... That's just Senator Armstrong with a wig.

 

[Lone MacReady II]

Who's the ugly woman that looks like Fox Mulder in drag?

1. Twin Peaks actually had Mulder in drag.
2. It's nuAngela from Blooper Team's Silent Hill 2 "revision". Pretty sure blooper has SBI reps.

 

[huesofmercury]

just wait even fucking re remake is going to be remade again for modern audiences