Tests and games that the Greys performed when I was a child. They were interested in my gender identity and my perception of the world around me.***
[TLDR, the Greys find out I'm gay, and my parents go apeshit.]
The memory I have remembered came to me in two parts, I know they happened in the same 'Grey visit' but I don't remember the events in between the two circumstances I remember.
I couldn't have been younger than 4 and a half years old, but I may have been closer to 5 and a half, I know I wasn't 6 years old yet.
I was very small, and walking was still a somewhat difficult task for me.
I remember, being lead into a large, metallic, circular room with hallways connected to different side if it, like some kind of rounded crossroads room.
Despite that, there were many places to stand or sit that weren't blocking the paths between these crossing hallways in the room.
I remember I was led here by a Grey I knew and recognized, at that age, I saw him as a friend, and as some kind of older family member. He lead me to this room, holding my hand, and told me telepathically, that we would play.
At this age, I couldn't communicate well verbally, or understand much that was spoken to me other than very basic things. But when it came to the Greys and their telepathy, I could understand alot more, even for my limited intelligence at that age, and I could communicate better to them in my own mind, while understanding telepathic concepts better than verbal ones.
I don't remember which exact game we played, but it may have been one where a toy shows stars in space, and you rotate the view telepathically, until you line up the stars in the constellation shape you can see from Earth. That was a fun one for Me.
After playing this game for maybe 10-20 minutes it felt like, the Grey asks me to play a different game for him.
I ask him what kind of game it will be.
He says it will be a fast game, where I have to react quickly, but think quickly too. I am excited by the prospect, and I agree to play, I remember being handed a small laptop looking device. It had no screen, and no buttons. But it was an L shaped looking piece of polished metal, wide like a small laptop would be, and weirdly adjustable.
The Grey does something, and suddenly the device springs to life, the lower part of the metal displays images in a button-like/keyboard like arrangement. The upper part lights up, and displays a main image like a screen.
(Note that at that age for me, flip phones had not even hit the market yet, let alone laptops less than an inch thick, or anything vaguely resembling a touch pad)
The Grey then tells me, that the game will work thusly, "The screen will display an image concept. As soon as the image appears look at the image concept buttons that appear along side the main image, and pick the image concept button that matches, or is the closest to matching the concept on the screen, that you can think of-but be fast, the image concept on the screen and buttons will dissappear quickly, and new ones will appear instead with every change."
With that explanation, the game begins. I miss the first and second image concepts, I can't think of what they relate to the most in time, but after maybe 20-30 other screens, the ones I miss cycle back, and I manage to pick a button for each of them.
The game really was fast, and I feel alittle stressed by it, it all went by so quickly, each screen was up for maybe between 5-15 seconds before changing. And each screen had at least 20 something choices to choose from.
Though, at the time, I could recognize all the concepts on the screens, they were the image language the Greys used, abit stylized, but all defining certain basic concepts in Grey knowledge/culture.
The Grey with me seems to ponder for a few minutes after I finish the test, then he tells me, he will be right back.
While I am still sitting on the floor, he gets up, and walks to another Grey that had been watching in a relaxed way from across the room.
They seem to be communicating to eachother. I hear the second one say;
"Well, just have snackie take it again."
The Grey I was with comes back, and he asks me if I will take the test again. I didn't notice the difference in phrasing so young, so I just told him I wanted to play a different game now.
He asks me if I will take the test again, if he lets me play a different game first, and I agree to that proposal.
After maybe 15-20 more minutes of playing with something else, He then asks me,
"Will you take the test again now?"
I am reluctant, because it's not that fun, but I agree to.
As the screen on this laptop looking device flicks on, and the shifting images start, I get all the screens on the first try, except the third one. The third image concept is depicting the cycle of life through dimorphic expressions, it looks vaguely like an unopened flower blossom, but there are two flowers blooming, growing out from inside the unopened blossom, one flower is slender and delicate looking, on a longer, slender stem and has small underdeveloped seeds on it, the other flower is thick and smaller, but less beautiful, it had no seeds, has a shorter much thicker stem, and appearance to be wilting slightly at the edge of its petals.
This image concept shows the dimorphism that arises from biological life of two sexes. The delicate flower represents femininity, the hardy flower represents masculinity, and the unopened blossom represents both the origin of both sexes, and their pre-dimorphic states.
I struggle with this concept, because I don't see a button that shows all those states in one state.
But there is a button that represents harmony between extremes, so when the concepts comes on a second time, I pick that button.
Since that was the last screen, the Grey asks me why that screen was different for me, why did I miss it again?
I tell him it's because none of the concepts fit that screen perfectly, so I picked the next best one, on the second time.
He then telepathically shows me an image concept related to the one that was on the screen.
He asks me, 'Is this the right image for you?'
I say no, it's closer, but not quite right.
He looks at what I'm visualizing in my head, (which is a partially blooming flower image, showing the traits of all three states) and adjusts his image, now his image looks like a very detailed version of the concept in my head.
He asks me if this is the right image, for the image that was on the screen. I feel relived that it's defined to him, and I tell him yes, that's the right image.
I'm somewhat excited that he made that concept for me, but also that he can see what I mean.
At this point, he's sitting next to me, and he faces me more directly. I feel that he is smiling, though his face does not change expression, I feel he is smiling underneath somehow, as Greys normally do.
He tells me; "Do you know what the test was for?"
"No."
The he says; "The test, is an unconscious connotations test, to shed light onto not only what you understand about the world around you, but also how you understand yourself, what you identify with, and see in yourself."
Those are alot of concepts for me, so I just keep listening curiously as he pauses.
I feel his secret smile grow bigger. Then he continues;
"The test shows what you identify with on the most intrinsic, permanent level."
He pauses again, but I don't know what all that means, so I keep listening.
Then he says;
"The test told me, that you identify with the 3 developmental states of being, the pre-state, that has no dimorphic traits, the feminine dimorphic state, and the masculine dimorphic state."
He then shows me the image he refined for me again, and says;
"That's what this image means, snackie, this what you identify with, and as."
He seems to be bursting with happiness and excitement, and continues;
"I am so happy, and honored, that I get understand that about you, that we all(the greys) get to understand who you are."
At that point I reply,
"Well. That's alot of concepts and I don't understand all that but, yes, the picture fits right. That's my picture. That's me."
The Grey then tells me; "I had you take the test twice, because I wanted to make sure, i thought somehow the test had messed up maybe, because being, identifying with this, is really really rare. But that's you, the test was right, you taking it twice and getting the exact same results twice proves it."
At this point he seems grateful, and he says to me, in his telepathic way; "Thank you Snackie."
He gets up to speak to another Grey, and I don't remember what happens right after that.
I do remember though, what happens later that night.
I find myself walking through one of the dim, metallic ship hallways on the Grey ship. A short Grey is walking with me, holding my hand. I and I feel she is safe, she is my friend.
I start to hear shouting, agitated shouting, echoing down the hallway. I recognize it, they're my parents voices. I get scared, and stop walking. The Small Grey looks down at me, and asks me what's wrong?
I tell her, that my parents are angry, and I don't want to see them. They're bad when they're angry, and it's dangerous right now.
The Grey smiles at me in her unseen way, and she reassures me, I am safe, I am safe with her, I am safe on this ship. I will be okay. I will reach my parents, and nothing bad will happen.
I'm still nervous, but she's never let me down, so I start to walk with her again.
The shouting gets louder as we get closer, and I see light spilling into the hallway from the room my parents are in. Before I get to the doorway, I can make out that they are arguing with a tall Grey, by the way the Grey is replying.
Then, with the short Grey, I enter the room.
My parents are screaming. Three Tall Greys stand before them, calmly, but, the one standing in front is speaking over my parents screams. Neither of my parents notice that i walk in, as i walk in behind them, facing the Greys in front of them, the short Grey at my side. My father screams,
"This is Ridiculous, there's no way that's true!"
My mother screams,
"We love Snackie, there's no way we wouldn't know their sex, there's no way their sex would be confused, we are not bad parents!"
The, Grey, talking over them, says calmly in his telepathic voice;
"Snackie is not, what you assume of them by their evident dimorphism. Snackie identifies with 3 states of being, two dimorphic, one pre-dimorphic. Snackie is not, the sex you are trying to raise them as. Snackie will suffer if you do not raise them in a way that accommodates this information. Snackie is not this way because of any failings of parenthood or otherwise. Snackie was born this way, this is not a defect, simply a rare genetic expression."
The Grey is saying all this as my parents continue to scream and argue one-sidely.
My father is is insisting I am my birth sex, while threatening that the Greys are trying to contort and confuse his family.
My mother is hysterical, screaming I am my birth sex, that she has committed no wrong, that she is not at fault, that I am not defective, that I am only my sex.
I remember as I watched this play out, as toddler, I felt so scared, so confused, so disappointed, so empty, so hurt, so betrayed.
I finally had people I cared about understand what I felt on the inside, what I knew was in the inside. But, my parents, my human family. Would rather, scream, and yell, and threaten, and deny, and curse. Than accept how I was, than to accept me.
I don't remember what happened after that, but I'm pretty sure I started crying.
I ended up remembering this roughly a year and a half ago. Two and a half years ago, I came out as transgender, genderfluid. I only came out after moving out of my family's home as an adult. And when I moved, I didn't know what gender I was, I just thought I was cis. That's how far in the closet I was. But a year after living away from that toxic environment, I started to try to be myself, and along the way, I realized I felt different, on the inside.
Remembering all this, was a painful shock. I don't understand why Greys have a test like that, or even what's it really for. All I know, is that, somehow, that test told them who I was as a toddler, when as a teenager, I myself could not remember or know it.
I think I forgot because of how painful it all was. Why would aliens from space, accept you more than your own parents?
I know my case, they were broken, shallow, selfish people.
And I hope in knowing and reading my experiences, all of you, never reach that state or point. Because I disowned my family.
But I won't ever disown the Greys, again. They were there for me. And when it comes down to it, that's all that matters between a real family.
Edit typos*
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