- Joined
- Nov 6, 2023
I present to you the saga of the Key Autist (warning incredibly long, don't worry the keys are safe)
L|A
My best friend recommended reddit to begin with has suggested this subreddit. And even said I should have posted here first. I'm dividing the post into two halves to make it easier to read.
My MIL is insanely entitled. And my wife's enabling of her has made our marriage very hard at times. MIL has come to us for money a lot because she keeps spending herself into a hole since she's a hoarder and a shopaholic. Her house is full of garbage, junk, and unopened stuff she never uses. The house is rodent infested too. She has one semi-clean room in the whole building. And it's the master bedroom. She's mocked it up like a little studio apartment with a futon to sleep on and use as a couch, an entertainment center with TV and streaming, and a makeshift kitchen consisting of the adjoining bathroom, a mini-fridge and a microwave. MIL's also overweight because she eats out a lot.
Recently MIL came to us wanting me specifically to buy her a new smartphone as an unprompted gift. And she threw a massive fit when I refused. And I mean a child temper tantrum kind of fit. Why did she want a new phone so suddenly? Hers was two years old, that's literally it. As far as I know, it still worked fine. Even my wife has confirmed this. But MIL was resolute that she deserved a new phone. And before leaving, MIL yelled at us that we're supposed to be pampering her now that she's an old woman. She's 53. My wife also didn't want to buy her mother the phone because she gave her money not long before to make sure her bills were paid.
I have quite a collection of vintage skeleton keys. And I mean good ones. Like ones to particular hotels, the large ornate Sargents, brass railroad keys, Reading Hardware, etc. My collection as a whole should easily be worth two to three thousand dollars. Some of those keys are super rare. I kept them in a locked display cabinet. But a few days ago I came home to find my entire collection gone. The cabinet had been forced open. I checked the CCTV for the living room, and saw my MIL force open the cabinet with a small crowbar. She then put all the keys in a couple of boxes she'd brought with her and left with them. I called MIL right away and demanded she return my collection. She nonchalantly told me she sold the entire collection at pawn already, and used the money for her new phone. Then said it was my fault, and she had to do it because I wouldn't give her the money.
My wife was seemingly on my side, until I said I was going to call police. She begged me to just drop it. And even suggested I just start a new collection. I refused to let it go, because a lot of those keys are not only expensive, they're irreplaceable. I spent 10 years building that collection. But my wife kept blowing up at me and telling me to just let it go. So I slept in the guest room that night and sought online help the next day when my best friend told me to try Reddit. I'd been a lurker before. But making an account wasn't hard. My MIL has been trouble in the past. But this was the first time I know of that she'd stolen from us. I needed help, so I asked here. The resounding advice finally made me pull my head out of my bum to realize I was the only one keeping my marriage afloat. And it would likely never get any better if my wife wasn't on my side when her own mother steals something irreplaceable from me.
Now to answer some quick questions I got before. 1: How did MIL get into the house? My wife unilaterally gave her a key when we moved in, that's why. 2: Why did I have CCTV cameras in the living room? Really? Wouldn't you do that if you had something valuable on display there? 3: Is MIL on drugs? No idea, she's always been crazy. 4: Did MIL steal from us before? Not that I have been able to tell. And I've checked everything I could think of. 5: what kind of phone did MIL get? Not a clue. But probably one of the cheaper smartphones with the amount of money she got selling my stuff. Unless she's on a payment plan. 6: Did my wife use my money to placate her mother before? Yes she did. We primarily have separate accounts. But we do have a joint account we pay the bills with. So it's not used for savings. In two years of marriage, I'd say it happened roughly 5 times. Every time my wife took money from the joint account for her mother, she always replaced it on her next payday. Though in hindsight, I think she only did so because she knew I'd never let it go, because she would always have an attitude with me for a few days after. I was in a bad marriage fog before. But this whole situation has snapped me right out of it. 7: Will I lock down my credit? Already I have. Though I'm not sure my wife or her mother would be so stupid to do something like that after MIL was recently arrested.
I have gotten my collection back, and hidden it somewhere my wife and MIL have no idea where it is. I'll provide more detail in another post tomorrow.
Edit: Since it keeps being mentioned, yes I did call police, yes an arrest was made, yes my wife is a soon to be ex. Know that I'm taking many precautions right now.
Chad Key Autist Saga pt 2
Back to what happened that day, police did come and take my statement a bit over an hour after I called the non-emergency line. I had video footage, and the documentation of my collection ready. And then there was some texts I went out of my way to get from MIL to bait her into a confession. I wanted as much evidence as possible so she couldn't lie to police. When I texted her demanding she get my collection back. She actually LOL'ed and told me not a chance. And even boasted that she thought I was a pathetic son-in-law, and my key collection was tacky anyway. I told her to at least tell me what pawn shop she sold the keys to so I could go buy them back, and how much they paid her for them. And the dimwit admitted it all right away with glee in text. I had everything I needed for the police before they even showed up.
The cops took the whole matter more seriously than I thought. I was worried they'd call it a civil matter since the thief was my MIL, and she had a key to the house. But they arrested MIL before long. And police went to the pawn shop before it closed to retrieve my collection. I got it all back from police after a couple of days. And for the moment I've put the collection in a safe secure place that no one can get to. The pawn shop pretty much gave up the entire key collection to police right away like it was a bag of hot potatoes. Though I scrutinized every important key brought back, as far as I can tell it's all there. That was a huge sigh of relief. I took time off work and barely slept for two days because of this ordeal. Also, the cabinet MIL broke into is pretty much a loss since she mangled the lock and doors prying it open. Thankfully it wasn't an antique, and just something I got used for $50. So I'm just going to take it to the dump sooner or later.
From her texts before, I found out MIL sold the whole collection to the pawn for a whopping total of $300! >_< For a collection of hundreds of antique keys valued at two to three grand as a total, that low number felt like a punch in the gut to me. Likely the pawn broker knew how valuable the collection could be as a whole. I mean, it's not like hitting a jackpot or anything. But money is still money. Especially when a dumb little lady walks in with a box of goodies. Anyone else hear Mr. Krabs laughing? Anyway, the cost of repayment to the shop was supposed to be on MIL. But my wife paid them back out of our joint account instead. From what the shop owner said, MIL told them the key collection belonged to her deceased husband. And she was sick of the whole collection sitting in storage. So they believed her. But just to be clear, she's not a widow. Her husband divorced her and left the state around 15 years ago. MIL lives off social security and foodstamps. She also holds garage sales every few months. And she often demanded our soda and beer cans so she could get the deposit money recycling them. MIL doesn't drive, she gets around on an electric scooter that tows a bicycle trailer. She lives in a long paid off house, and she would not be having money troubles if she wasn't overspending every month. And she always counts on my wife to pick up the slack when she comes up short.
My wife and I got in a huge fight when she got home because I had her mother arrested. But I told her I'm done with her enabling of her toxic mother. I said I was changing the locks ASAP and banning her mother from the house. And I also said that either we got marriage counseling, or I'd be inquiring about my options for separation from an attorney. I thought my wife would beg me not to do that. But instead she just called me horrible, packed a suitcase and walked out to go to a motel. I just sat on the couch and let her go. She repeatedly looked like she was waiting for me to ask her to stay. But I didn't.
In the morning she texted me she'd be bailing her mother out, and wanted me transfer her the money to pay for it since I was the one who got her mother arrested. When I said no, all I got back was a sarcastic "Wow!", and that was it. Not too long later I had a gut feeling and checked the balance on the shared bank account. And my wife had taken out a lot of money. I wasn't sure if all that was needed for bail, so I called the pawn shop later. The owner confirmed my wife had come in and paid him back the $300 that he'd paid her mother for the keys. He was also quite angry and said he didn't want any of us in his shop ever again. I understood his anger, and weirdly enough had a fairly long talk with this guy. And he understands now that I'm not part of the crazy.
I tried to call and text my wife for hours. But she didn't answer. That evening I managed to find her. I knew which motel she'd likely go to, and I was right. It was both cheap and not far away. I found her car, and then figured out which room she was in. She looked positively shocked to see me when she opened the door. I confronted her about the money she'd used from our shared account. She basically said that since I refused to pay her mother's bail after I was the one who had her arrested, she got the money from me another way. Then smugly stated she wasn't paying that money back into the shared account this time, and told me that's the karma I get, before shutting the door in my face. Then said through the door she'd call the cops on me if I didn't leave. The smug look she'd given me reminded me of nasty teenage girls when they get their way. It really ticked me off.
I already knew my marriage was pretty much over. But that night it really sank in. I had a long sit-down with some old video games and cola to think about my future. The house is rented, so I'm not renewing my half of the lease, and will soon be apartment hunting. The last month of the lease is March. But I may leave sooner, depending on how soon I can find an apartment. We have no kids yet, thank god. So that's another thing I currently have in my favor.
The next day I changed the locks on the house and removed all of my money from the joint bank account, and stopped all automated payments to and from it. I made sure to take only the amount of money I'd put into the account. There was still more than enough in it for me to break even and still leave the minimum required balance on the account. Either way the cost of MIL's bail and paying back the pawn shop was now entirely out of my wife's pocket now. And I don't think she's noticed yet. But it shouldn't be long.
I've been to a couple different divorce lawyers already, and I picked the second one since the first seemed like they were only there for a paycheck. I'll have the divorce papers served soon. I loved my wife, but it's clear she didn't love me. So I can't stay with her anymore. She can have her thieving hoarder mommy all to herself now. We both have very comparable incomes, so I'll be pushing for a clean split divorce. This woman didn't deserve me, and I fell for her act. She didn't want a husband, she wanted an insurance plan. I'll be clear on this, I won't be changing my mind about divorce. My soon to be ex-wife can beg and love-bomb all she wants, if she even bothers to. I've never been her #1. And I'm not gonna settle for being #2 in my own marriage. It. Is. Over!
tl;dr: for some reason MIL of key autist wants him to buy her a phone with his own money but he refuses so she steals his precious key collection and then pawns them. Key autist is able to file a police report and get the keys back and MIL arrested. Key autist's wife uses their shared marital money to bail MIL out and key autist doesn't like that so he weirdly follows her to a hotel. He's already talking to divorce lawyers because a man and his keys shouldn't be separated.
Just look at those fucking beautiful keys
Archive
I, for one, am a key autist fan. I hope in the next installment he finds a hot 20 y/o gf who gives him a special key
L|A
My MIL stole my collection of vintage skeleton keys to sell at pawn and buy herself a new phone (Part 1)
LMy best friend recommended reddit to begin with has suggested this subreddit. And even said I should have posted here first. I'm dividing the post into two halves to make it easier to read.
My MIL is insanely entitled. And my wife's enabling of her has made our marriage very hard at times. MIL has come to us for money a lot because she keeps spending herself into a hole since she's a hoarder and a shopaholic. Her house is full of garbage, junk, and unopened stuff she never uses. The house is rodent infested too. She has one semi-clean room in the whole building. And it's the master bedroom. She's mocked it up like a little studio apartment with a futon to sleep on and use as a couch, an entertainment center with TV and streaming, and a makeshift kitchen consisting of the adjoining bathroom, a mini-fridge and a microwave. MIL's also overweight because she eats out a lot.
Recently MIL came to us wanting me specifically to buy her a new smartphone as an unprompted gift. And she threw a massive fit when I refused. And I mean a child temper tantrum kind of fit. Why did she want a new phone so suddenly? Hers was two years old, that's literally it. As far as I know, it still worked fine. Even my wife has confirmed this. But MIL was resolute that she deserved a new phone. And before leaving, MIL yelled at us that we're supposed to be pampering her now that she's an old woman. She's 53. My wife also didn't want to buy her mother the phone because she gave her money not long before to make sure her bills were paid.
I have quite a collection of vintage skeleton keys. And I mean good ones. Like ones to particular hotels, the large ornate Sargents, brass railroad keys, Reading Hardware, etc. My collection as a whole should easily be worth two to three thousand dollars. Some of those keys are super rare. I kept them in a locked display cabinet. But a few days ago I came home to find my entire collection gone. The cabinet had been forced open. I checked the CCTV for the living room, and saw my MIL force open the cabinet with a small crowbar. She then put all the keys in a couple of boxes she'd brought with her and left with them. I called MIL right away and demanded she return my collection. She nonchalantly told me she sold the entire collection at pawn already, and used the money for her new phone. Then said it was my fault, and she had to do it because I wouldn't give her the money.
My wife was seemingly on my side, until I said I was going to call police. She begged me to just drop it. And even suggested I just start a new collection. I refused to let it go, because a lot of those keys are not only expensive, they're irreplaceable. I spent 10 years building that collection. But my wife kept blowing up at me and telling me to just let it go. So I slept in the guest room that night and sought online help the next day when my best friend told me to try Reddit. I'd been a lurker before. But making an account wasn't hard. My MIL has been trouble in the past. But this was the first time I know of that she'd stolen from us. I needed help, so I asked here. The resounding advice finally made me pull my head out of my bum to realize I was the only one keeping my marriage afloat. And it would likely never get any better if my wife wasn't on my side when her own mother steals something irreplaceable from me.
Now to answer some quick questions I got before. 1: How did MIL get into the house? My wife unilaterally gave her a key when we moved in, that's why. 2: Why did I have CCTV cameras in the living room? Really? Wouldn't you do that if you had something valuable on display there? 3: Is MIL on drugs? No idea, she's always been crazy. 4: Did MIL steal from us before? Not that I have been able to tell. And I've checked everything I could think of. 5: what kind of phone did MIL get? Not a clue. But probably one of the cheaper smartphones with the amount of money she got selling my stuff. Unless she's on a payment plan. 6: Did my wife use my money to placate her mother before? Yes she did. We primarily have separate accounts. But we do have a joint account we pay the bills with. So it's not used for savings. In two years of marriage, I'd say it happened roughly 5 times. Every time my wife took money from the joint account for her mother, she always replaced it on her next payday. Though in hindsight, I think she only did so because she knew I'd never let it go, because she would always have an attitude with me for a few days after. I was in a bad marriage fog before. But this whole situation has snapped me right out of it. 7: Will I lock down my credit? Already I have. Though I'm not sure my wife or her mother would be so stupid to do something like that after MIL was recently arrested.
I have gotten my collection back, and hidden it somewhere my wife and MIL have no idea where it is. I'll provide more detail in another post tomorrow.
Edit: Since it keeps being mentioned, yes I did call police, yes an arrest was made, yes my wife is a soon to be ex. Know that I'm taking many precautions right now.
Chad Key Autist Saga pt 2
My MIL stole my collection of vintage skeleton keys to sell at pawn and buy herself a new phone (Part 2)
LBack to what happened that day, police did come and take my statement a bit over an hour after I called the non-emergency line. I had video footage, and the documentation of my collection ready. And then there was some texts I went out of my way to get from MIL to bait her into a confession. I wanted as much evidence as possible so she couldn't lie to police. When I texted her demanding she get my collection back. She actually LOL'ed and told me not a chance. And even boasted that she thought I was a pathetic son-in-law, and my key collection was tacky anyway. I told her to at least tell me what pawn shop she sold the keys to so I could go buy them back, and how much they paid her for them. And the dimwit admitted it all right away with glee in text. I had everything I needed for the police before they even showed up.
The cops took the whole matter more seriously than I thought. I was worried they'd call it a civil matter since the thief was my MIL, and she had a key to the house. But they arrested MIL before long. And police went to the pawn shop before it closed to retrieve my collection. I got it all back from police after a couple of days. And for the moment I've put the collection in a safe secure place that no one can get to. The pawn shop pretty much gave up the entire key collection to police right away like it was a bag of hot potatoes. Though I scrutinized every important key brought back, as far as I can tell it's all there. That was a huge sigh of relief. I took time off work and barely slept for two days because of this ordeal. Also, the cabinet MIL broke into is pretty much a loss since she mangled the lock and doors prying it open. Thankfully it wasn't an antique, and just something I got used for $50. So I'm just going to take it to the dump sooner or later.
From her texts before, I found out MIL sold the whole collection to the pawn for a whopping total of $300! >_< For a collection of hundreds of antique keys valued at two to three grand as a total, that low number felt like a punch in the gut to me. Likely the pawn broker knew how valuable the collection could be as a whole. I mean, it's not like hitting a jackpot or anything. But money is still money. Especially when a dumb little lady walks in with a box of goodies. Anyone else hear Mr. Krabs laughing? Anyway, the cost of repayment to the shop was supposed to be on MIL. But my wife paid them back out of our joint account instead. From what the shop owner said, MIL told them the key collection belonged to her deceased husband. And she was sick of the whole collection sitting in storage. So they believed her. But just to be clear, she's not a widow. Her husband divorced her and left the state around 15 years ago. MIL lives off social security and foodstamps. She also holds garage sales every few months. And she often demanded our soda and beer cans so she could get the deposit money recycling them. MIL doesn't drive, she gets around on an electric scooter that tows a bicycle trailer. She lives in a long paid off house, and she would not be having money troubles if she wasn't overspending every month. And she always counts on my wife to pick up the slack when she comes up short.
My wife and I got in a huge fight when she got home because I had her mother arrested. But I told her I'm done with her enabling of her toxic mother. I said I was changing the locks ASAP and banning her mother from the house. And I also said that either we got marriage counseling, or I'd be inquiring about my options for separation from an attorney. I thought my wife would beg me not to do that. But instead she just called me horrible, packed a suitcase and walked out to go to a motel. I just sat on the couch and let her go. She repeatedly looked like she was waiting for me to ask her to stay. But I didn't.
In the morning she texted me she'd be bailing her mother out, and wanted me transfer her the money to pay for it since I was the one who got her mother arrested. When I said no, all I got back was a sarcastic "Wow!", and that was it. Not too long later I had a gut feeling and checked the balance on the shared bank account. And my wife had taken out a lot of money. I wasn't sure if all that was needed for bail, so I called the pawn shop later. The owner confirmed my wife had come in and paid him back the $300 that he'd paid her mother for the keys. He was also quite angry and said he didn't want any of us in his shop ever again. I understood his anger, and weirdly enough had a fairly long talk with this guy. And he understands now that I'm not part of the crazy.
I tried to call and text my wife for hours. But she didn't answer. That evening I managed to find her. I knew which motel she'd likely go to, and I was right. It was both cheap and not far away. I found her car, and then figured out which room she was in. She looked positively shocked to see me when she opened the door. I confronted her about the money she'd used from our shared account. She basically said that since I refused to pay her mother's bail after I was the one who had her arrested, she got the money from me another way. Then smugly stated she wasn't paying that money back into the shared account this time, and told me that's the karma I get, before shutting the door in my face. Then said through the door she'd call the cops on me if I didn't leave. The smug look she'd given me reminded me of nasty teenage girls when they get their way. It really ticked me off.
I already knew my marriage was pretty much over. But that night it really sank in. I had a long sit-down with some old video games and cola to think about my future. The house is rented, so I'm not renewing my half of the lease, and will soon be apartment hunting. The last month of the lease is March. But I may leave sooner, depending on how soon I can find an apartment. We have no kids yet, thank god. So that's another thing I currently have in my favor.
The next day I changed the locks on the house and removed all of my money from the joint bank account, and stopped all automated payments to and from it. I made sure to take only the amount of money I'd put into the account. There was still more than enough in it for me to break even and still leave the minimum required balance on the account. Either way the cost of MIL's bail and paying back the pawn shop was now entirely out of my wife's pocket now. And I don't think she's noticed yet. But it shouldn't be long.
I've been to a couple different divorce lawyers already, and I picked the second one since the first seemed like they were only there for a paycheck. I'll have the divorce papers served soon. I loved my wife, but it's clear she didn't love me. So I can't stay with her anymore. She can have her thieving hoarder mommy all to herself now. We both have very comparable incomes, so I'll be pushing for a clean split divorce. This woman didn't deserve me, and I fell for her act. She didn't want a husband, she wanted an insurance plan. I'll be clear on this, I won't be changing my mind about divorce. My soon to be ex-wife can beg and love-bomb all she wants, if she even bothers to. I've never been her #1. And I'm not gonna settle for being #2 in my own marriage. It. Is. Over!
tl;dr: for some reason MIL of key autist wants him to buy her a phone with his own money but he refuses so she steals his precious key collection and then pawns them. Key autist is able to file a police report and get the keys back and MIL arrested. Key autist's wife uses their shared marital money to bail MIL out and key autist doesn't like that so he weirdly follows her to a hotel. He's already talking to divorce lawyers because a man and his keys shouldn't be separated.
Just look at those fucking beautiful keys
Archive
I, for one, am a key autist fan. I hope in the next installment he finds a hot 20 y/o gf who gives him a special key
