reddit General

  • 🐕 I am attempting to get the site runnning as fast as possible. If you are experiencing slow page load times, please report it.
A young Redditor is troubled by a very relatable issue.
Pain1.jpg
Pain 2.jpg
 
  • Horrifying
  • Like
  • Informative
Reactions: graywolf88, Davis, Piss Bear and 54 others
This one blew my mind with how stupid it was.

Canadian redditors take a victory lap after only a few weeks of protest boycotting the USA wipes out all Canadian-made food supplies at their grocery stores.
They do not seem to realize at all that this implies they would immediately starve without the United States.
Comments pointing this out are mod-deleted or heavily downvoted.

canadians score self-goal, reddit.png
 
  • Like
  • Thunk-Provoking
  • Winner
Reactions: Davis, Piss Bear, UnsufficentBoobage and 19 others
nazipouncher.png
found this repost on shitpoliticssays about some retard who told his kids that punching nazis is ok and the kid actually went up and punched some other kid at recess for sieg heiling, luckily the comments on the repost were calling this guy a retard or thinking the story was fake so theres at least theres some level of hope in humanity
 
  • Like
Reactions: UnsufficentBoobage, Toolbox, Glowing In The Streets and 14 others
Caddo Cobgang said:
View attachment 7000296
found this repost on shitpoliticssays about some retard who told his kids that punching nazis is ok and the kid actually went up and punched some other kid at recess for sieg heiling, luckily the comments on the repost were calling this guy a retard or thinking the story was fake so theres at least theres some level of hope in humanity
Click to expand...
Damn, I was just about to post the OP. Don’t get your hopes too high though, there’s plenty of comments talking about his assault is a good thing.
1739982483430.jpeg
1739982506957.jpeg
1739982535320.jpeg
1739982569071.jpeg
1739982600385.jpeg
1739982620849.jpeg
Well shit, guess I can never watch Mel Brooks again! What a damn shame, that filthy Jewish Nazi who fought the Nazis.
I don’t doubt the story is fake, but the fact that there are adults who think a stupid kid deserves to get decked in the face is concerning.
 
  • Like
  • Lunacy
Reactions: UnsufficentBoobage, Toolbox, Wright and 7 others
AnticitizenOne said:
View attachment 7000848
Click to expand...
What a jealous bitch. Instead of caring for the cat too because he obviously loves it so much.

Edit to include the post above:
Obviously this is a joke, but was CRP right? Women are dogs? No they are not but still a weird way to fix the issue. As long as it works I guess.
 
  • Like
Reactions: UnsufficentBoobage, NoIdeaWhatImDoing, Dasjas Watanid Tabas and 9 others
  • Lunacy
  • Like
  • Horrifying
Reactions: scallion, Davis, Piss Bear and 28 others
WhiteNight said:
This post is from 2017: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationsh...5f_boyfriend_27m_of_a_year_has_a_cat_and_the/

There was an update where they broke up:
View attachment 7001054

This story was also covered in /r/BestofRedditorUpdates:
Click to expand...
What a psycho bitch, CatChad dodged a hell of a bullet with that one. I gotta say I'm surprised he didn't just punt her out of the house when she suggested just killing the cat though.

This of course assumes the posts are real, which being reddit... 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: scallion, Davis, Sneaky khajiit and 21 others
NorthernPickle53 said:
I found this somewhat interesting comment on an old post I R/Starterpacks. I know this comment is 2 years old but still, I never expected to find this on Reddit. A Welcome Surprise for sure.


View attachment 7001306



Post

Archive
Click to expand...

>2016
>no SJWs

This fucker tripping

Sicko Hunter said:
View attachment 7001552
Click to expand...

Saar dodged a fucking bullet by only slipping and falling. Trying to climb or squat on toilets causes a lot of stress on the porcelain is very well known that it can cause it to break. And given it's glass-like properties, when it breaks its sharper than most knives. At which point your entire body weight is coming down on that.

People have died from it. A slashed thigh is a very easy way to quickly bleed out.

Edit: Found some of the pictures I remember seeing of it that taught me to never forget that little safety tip.

Be warned, this shit is ghastly.

1740001149787.png1740001182237.png1740001242231.png
 
Last edited:
  • Horrifying
  • Like
  • Informative
Reactions: scallion, Piss Bear, UnsufficentBoobage and 39 others
I don’t know what this really long, AI generated story got so much attention. Possibly because it involves a lesbian fatty and a cast of retards.
Is this totally real person an asshole for not wanting to provide enough food for a lesbian hippo?

First, I want to be clear that I do not believe in body-shaming or food policing. Having lost 100 lbs myself and working on another 50,, I have no place to judge anyone for what they eat. I pride myself on being a generous host who makes my guests comfortable and feeds them well. Nobody leaves my house hungry has always been my rule.
The problem:
I have a friend group who meets monthly at either my or "Joan's" home for dinner (nobody else has enough space to host). Recently, "Polly" announced she had a girlfriend, which made us all happy. Polly has been lonely for a long time.
I was the first to host "Melissa." Melissa is 500-600 lbs. I've never met anyone that big, but I hid my surprise and was warm and welcoming. No problem; I have sturdy furniture.
For dinner, I served bowls of salad, then soup. Melissa insisted on keeping her empty bowls at the table. I didn't think much of it; I'm not Emily Post. Then I brought out the main course, two 9X13 pans of 14-layer lasagna, cut into 8 pieces each. There were 10 of us altogether. I told people to dig in as I got the bread out of the oven. When I got back to the dining room, everyone looked so shocked I thought my cat had farted (his mouse farts could suffocate an elephant). Then I saw that Melissa had four pieces of lasagna heaped on her plate, two in her salad bowl, and two in her soup bowl. Polly was glaring like "don't you dare say a word." Melissa seemed utterly oblivious. I didn't know what to do. I just sat down.
Joan and I shared one piece of lasagna, and everyone else got a full piece. I cut the cake into equal portions for dessert, but I had to make an extra batch of sauce and get an extra tub of ice cream out. Melissa ate at least a litre.
The next month, on Joan's turn, she served every course pre-plated, and when Melissa asked for extra, Joan apologized and said there was none (truth; Joan is very organized and precise). Melissa and Polly left right after dinner, and Polly texted Joan, berating her for "controlling" Melissa's eating. Polly also texted me saying she trusted I'd be sensitive to Melissa's needs on my next turn.
That turn is almost here. My plan was roast dinner (pork and beef). I can easily make lots of cheap veg and dessert, but meat is pricey right now, and I'd have to serve twice the norm to satisfy Melissa. I know I cannot just trust she'll take a tenth of what's there, considering she grabbed a whole lasagna last time.. So do I suck it up and just buy much larger roasts? Do I make a few big batches of cheap soup and biscuits and serve that rather than strain my budget? I don't want to upset Melissa or be a stingy host, but I have never dealt with someone like this before. I was obese, but I would have eaten maybe 2 pieces of lasagna. Not 8. Do I just serve a reasonable-sized meal and tell Polly and Melissa "sorry, that's all I have"?
AITAH if I serve less food than I know my guests will want?
Edited to add... everyone in the group who doesn't cook (so 7 people before Melissa joined) chips in $25 per meal to whoever hosts. That, until inflation got so bad, covered enough of the food cost to make it feasible. Joan and I have both been simplifying our menus a bit to deal with rising costs, but the idea is to give ourselves and our friends a night off from the humdrum world and pretend we live glamorous, elegant lives. We use fine china and dress nicely and play classical music. Right before Melissa, I was going to ask if we could increase the chip-in to $30 a plate. I have the most resources out of anyone in the group, and I can afford to go out-of-pocket a bit more than Joan. None of the rest have the money, space, or culinary skills to put this together. Joan and I can cook like Julia Child. We are a ragtag lot with a variety of neurodivergences and mental health issues. These meals give us something special to look forward to.

Archive

In part 2 our protagonist a 40 year old grown ass adult is bravely hiding in the basement having a panic attack while their parents deal with raging lesbian hippos. They can’t tell us what’s being said though because they can’t hear anything. So really what’s the point of this update? Who knows, oh wait I found the point of the update it was to provide us with the crucial info that one of the cast of retards has dwarfism

Excrement is hitting the fan right now. I thought I was safe because I knew Polly didn't use Reddit. But apparently Melissa told an online friend about 14-layer lasagna, and that friend saw the post and showed it to her. Stupid me, wanting to show off my culinary prowess! Apparently I'm not the only one this has happened to. I was silly to think "Oh, it couldn't happen to me!"
So, Melissa and Polly are at my house now, enraged, and my dad the semi-retired crisis counsellor is talking to them whilst I wait downstairs in my suite and cry. Yes, I am hiding behind my parents, but they are calmer and more objective, and I am too anxious have a rational conversation with Polly and Melissa.
Update:, it sounds like they've split them off. Dad is in one room talking to Melissa. Mum is in another, talking to Polly. I cannot get close enough to eavesdrop, and my damn cat won't tell me what he's hearing.
Might as well take this time to answer some common questions:
  1. The chip-in has been $25 per person who doesn't cook. Joan and I never pay, regardless of who hosts. So we have been working off a budget of $175 because the group is nine people and seven pay. Last night and this morning we decided to increase the chip-in to $35. As of this moment, Melissa is only invited if she sticks to appropriate portions because no matter how much she pays, the rest of the group does not want to watch her eat like that. Is that mean? I don't know. But, given the yelling from upstairs, I don't know if she or Polly will ever return.
  2. For those who think I cannot have sturdy enough furniture... my dad is a very large man. My now-deceased Opa and my uncle custom-built most of the furniture in the house, least the stuff he would sit on. Dad has lost a lot, but everyone in the family has a good chair or two for him to sit on in their homes.
  3. Polly has helped me through a lot and has had a very difficult life, so I am loathe to upset her. I understand now that I need to grow a spine and that I don't need to be a doormat.
  4. I built this group and started the parties in part because restaurants aren't an option for all involved. We have a plethora of metal, physical, and neurospicy health issues going on. One of us has dwarfism and doesn't like being stared at. The parties are our escape from difficult lives. We dress up in vintage glam costumes we've found at thrift stores or made for ourselves and pretend that we are in Golden Age Hollywood or something. It's a big deal, and both Joan and I truly love to cook and host.
  5. I like cooking fancy food because I have to cook healthfully the rest of the time for my own weight loss and my diabetic parents. I do not want my parties to turn into salad and lentil fests. I eat that the rest of the time.
  6. For whoever suggested a crawded boil... we are landlocked in Canada. Beef is cheaper than crawdads around here. I haven't cooked much Southern Soul food, but it's a possibility if we don't include seafood because it costs the Earth.
  7. Polly sees Melissa's issues as a disability we should accommodate. She compared it to Dad building a wheelchair ramp onto the front porch for my granny and auntie. But I now understand that letting Melissa gorge is not a kindness. it's enabling very dangerous behaviour. She could keel over in my dining room, and we do not want to deal with all the paperwork that would create.
  8. I honestly did think that everyone who was morbidly obese and addicted to food got that way from trauma because my sister and I did.
  9. I wasn't actually deprived of lasagna. Joan and I often share a piece. I've had bariatric surgery and cannot eat much, and Joan prefers salad and bread and only a small portion of something as rich as lasagna.
  10. I'll post the recipe once I remember all of it. It's a combo of a few different ones and some right from my head. I'm extremely stressed right now, so remembering ingredients isn't working.
  11. I was wrong on Melissa's weight. She's 490 lbs. My bad; I am not good at estimating those things.
  12. I would be much calmer right now and not be having chest pain if this was rage-bait. I wish it was rage-bait. Sorry to disappoint.
  13. Please don't call Melissa derogatory names. This is not about hating on fat people. I was looking for advice on how to approach her obesity and food addiction behaviour with fairness and compassion.
Also, thanks for all the kind and helpful things people said. Some of the douchey ones gave me a laugh, like the eejit who thought two enormous lasagnas doesn't feed 10 people. I'll write another post when things are resolved.

Archive

This is the kind of slop that gets thousands of updoots on preddit. Also, please don’t call the lesbian hippo names you guys.
 
Last edited:
  • Lunacy
  • Like
Reactions: UnsufficentBoobage, Hoplixe, LemonKingLover and 5 others
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back