TIFU by wearing a shawl, which ruined my relationship with my GF
M
Minor background: I am a pretty affectionate, and at times, effeminate, dude. I'm 6'2 and have a pretty "tough-guy" background in that I was in special forces a while ago, and my roommates all served as well, but I also have thin wrists and sit on my friends' laps and blow kisses to them and shit. I'm not gay, I just am me.
So while I was in a shop with a roommate a few weeks ago he saw these really cool shawls that we both couldn't get out of our heads; he returned last weekend to buy them and now we have these shawls. Mine makes me look like a Star Wars character and his looks like the Outlaw Josey Wales, these are seriously awesome shawls. The first night we wore them, everybody at the dive bar we went to (Re: dudes) thought they were awesome as well. Then this girl and her friend arrive on invite from Shawlbro, and they are seriously turned off by our sweet shawls. Like, acting pretty weird about them and making comments. Whatever. So I get a call from my GF, she's tired and wants to hang out at mine, and so I bid these mean girls and Shawlbro adieu and head home.
I'm still wearing the shawl when my GF arrives and she's also really taken aback, she won't even kiss me until I take it off. We get do the deed and go to sleep, and the next morning she starts asking me if I'm gay. And she's really serious and aggressive about it. I tell her I'm not, that if I was I'd definitely know if by now, and she counters with her major evidence of the fact that I own a shawl. Anyway she gets weird and leaves, and then sends me a text later about how she's sorry and that she "needs to think about what kind of man" she wants, and then doesn't contact me for days. So yesterday I invite her out, she's stumbling over her words and talking about how she likes tough guys and how she grew up in the south and needs to get used to The Big City, but that she doesn't know this or that, and eventually I just tell her very politely to get fucked because I'm pretty insulted by this point. On the way back, now that I'm not directly in front of her, I get this long apologetic text from her but the crux of it is that yeah, she's just not that into me anymore because I wore a shawl.
Later on, I tell Shawlbro about this, and he also had a blowout with the girl he was seeing over his shawl that very same night we went out.
We are both going to keep wearing the shawls though, they are warm.
Tl;dr: Me and my friend bought cursed shawls and now we are single.
Edit:
She's a nice girl, she's just not pickin up what I'm puttin down. It's a silly thing to be mad about.
And by popular demand:
It's shawl over for you hoes
Edit 2:
Shawlbro
this and 
this?
