Redesigning Floraverse - Because PK is a fucking idiot

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I actually tried drawing Ameer.

AMEER THING.png
 
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Bernard Buttfart said:
Christ, this thing's 53 pages. Radicalgoblin is writing a full length fucking novel
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God, I didn't even realize I had written this much.

I'm glad for that though! Considering that all though, I'll have to brush up on the art. Obviously I should be carrying more of my weight in that regard, especially for a 50+ page story.
 
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RADICALGOBLIN said:
I'll take any tips you have on writing or otherwise! I want all ideas to be heard in this memefuck of a story.
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I'm so used to pointing out bad things and would have to go back and re-read everything critically, but I'll try!
You've avoided frequent and rapid shifts in points of view/character narration within a chapter so far and that's pretty great. It's fairly laser-focused despite the growing cast. That means you're already leaps ahead of PK in terms of storytelling chops in something that's just for shits and giggles, especially.

ETA-
Fun fact/hint: written dialogue doesn't have to be proper English. So if you have a character with a heavy accent, a stutter, speech impediment, or is an uneducated fuckwit, you can definitely play that up while still making this a more polished project than the source material.
 
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DatBepisTho said:
I'm so used to pointing out bad things and would have to go back and re-read everything critically, but I'll try!
You've avoided frequent and rapid shifts in points of view/character narration within a chapter so far and that's pretty great. It's fairly laser-focused despite the growing cast. That means you're already leaps ahead of PK in terms of storytelling chops in something that's just for shits and giggles, especially.

ETA-
Fun fact/hint: written dialogue doesn't have to be proper English. So if you have a character with a heavy accent, a stutter, speech impediment, or is an uneducated fuckwit, you can definitely play that up while still making this a more polished project than the source material.
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God, i'm so glad to hear this! I have a bad habit of having very little faith in my own writing's future, to be honest.
 
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RADICALGOBLIN said:
God, i'm so glad to hear this! I have a bad habit of having very little faith in my own writing's future, to be honest.
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Also watch your unattributed pronouns. If you have two male characters interacting, don’t use “he” when it’s unclear who you’re talking about. Call them by name or signify who the subject is in some other way.
Another thing I’d suggest is add more of the witty dialog, like you did in the first few paragraphs of the second act. It adds wit and charm to your work and your personality as a writer shines through that way. (Just don’t go overboard with it)
I could also do some actual edits/suggestions to your work if you want me to, since I’m fairly experienfed with writing, but if you feel like that’ll be overwhelming that’s fine too lol
 
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God, Tumblr HTML makes me wanna drown in a jacuzi.

Anyways, I just want to say: If anyone has things to write for The Loveless, whether it be like small jokes or larger passages, feel free to add them. Like i say, I want to make sure people's wants and needs are heard.
 
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RADICALGOBLIN said:
God, Tumblr HTML makes me wanna drown in a jacuzi.

Anyways, I just want to say: If anyone has things to write for The Loveless, whether it be like small jokes or larger passages, feel free to add them. Like i say, I want to make sure people's wants and needs are heard.
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If Shmoopy comes up, I'll write his dialog.
 
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