Reminder: DSP reads Kiwifarms every day

Hungrymandinner said:
Phil, you will never be free of detractors. I’m not saying it’s right or wrong, I’m just stating the fact. You’d need to enter the witness protection program or live off the grid in the jungles of Brazil to get away from these people. You’re stuck on a reality show for the rest of your life.
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I’m pretty sure if Brazilian SF players can piss off LTG from “the other side of the world” Dave wouldn’t be safe in Brazil either tbh.
 
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Not gonna lie but the farms got me good for about 10 minutes. Gonna pull a bunch of DSP excuses out of my ass buttttt...

It was 2am and I'd been up since 5am this morning, okayyy. I was sleepy and my eyes were burning.

I was high af when I saw it (fuckin weed was a detractor dude. I was having fun, everything was great thumbs up and it confused me. The weed just does whatever the fuck it wants).

I have GAD (nothin I can do about it) so my first instinct was to panic. I imagined feds busting in to mods houses and scanning through all the posts, logging IPs and building cases against everyone. (The fact that every country in the world seemed to be after the Farms didn't register either with me. I thought it was something uber serious going down if everyone and the Tuscon, AZ (huh???) police we're involved.

Then I decided to do some google fu and nothing came up (head swivel wait wut? WUT?! Now hold on a minute...still thought it might be real tho cause it was so recent)

Then I saw someone screencap the bottom of it saying it was a joke. Yeah maybe if I actually READ what was on the screen instead of having an autistic meltdown I would've known that..I mean those fucking nerds at the Farm didn't explain anything. No one contacted me or gave me a heads up or anything.

But at least unlike DSP I'm willing to leave this post up, ack ack ack at myself like a man and take the L. No shit ya'll got me good, haven't been trolled like that in years. Took me back to the days of being a teen downloading porn and getting hit with that FBI page.

It'd probably be the funniest shit all year, if he went live on stream and just said "I WON". I would love to know just how many times a day he comes here, frantically reading every message and advice people tend to give him, which he more often than not, quietly makes use of.
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Would've been great if KF just stayed offline for a day or so to keep the act up. We would've had so many great youtube videos from all the lolcows here.
 
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dsflfdsl23012 said:
Not gonna lie but the farms got me good for about 10 minutes. Gonna pull a bunch of DSP excuses out of my ass buttttt...

It was 2am and I'd been up since 5am this morning, okayyy. I was sleepy and my eyes were burning.

I was high af when I saw it (fuckin weed was a detractor dude. I was having fun, everything was great thumbs up and it confused me. The weed just does whatever the fuck it wants).

I have GAD (nothin I can do about it) so my first instinct was to panic. I imagined feds busting in to mods houses and scanning through all the posts, logging IPs and building cases against everyone. (The fact that every country in the world seemed to be after the Farms didn't register either with me. I thought it was something uber serious going down if everyone and the Tuscon, AZ (huh???) police we're involved.

Then I decided to do some google fu and nothing came up (head swivel wait wut? WUT?! Now hold on a minute...still thought it might be real tho cause it was so recent)

Then I saw someone screencap the bottom of it saying it was a joke. Yeah maybe if I actually READ what was on the screen instead of having an autistic meltdown I would've known that..I mean those fucking nerds at the Farm didn't explain anything. No one contacted me or gave me a heads up or anything.

But at least unlike DSP I'm willing to leave this post up, ack ack ack at myself like a man and take the L. No shit ya'll got me good, haven't been trolled like that in years. Took me back to the days of being a teen downloading porn and getting hit with that FBI page.



Would've been great if KF just stayed offline for a day or so to keep the act up. We would've had so many great youtube videos from all the lolcows here.
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It’s not DSP excuses unless you list “it’s tevins fault”
 
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I've just been sitting here in awe about this for like 2 hours, speechless. We all knew he was a dumbass but like...damn. This bad, huh?
 
Mr.PiggyOinkOink said:
It’s not DSP excuses unless you list “it’s tevins fault”
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Well I knew from the get go that fuckin little bitch Tevin was behind all of this but me wanting to be the more MATURE ADULT HUMAN BEING with a functioning brain figured I'd take the higher ground, play a little dumb, and leave his name out of it. I already have insider info (got the manila folder right here) from some unnamed sources who won't be named, that Tevin reported the farms. The farms was at risk until the feds realized they didn't have enough to go off of so they added in the "it's a joke" after the fact to save face. That's why I didn't see it the first time.

In fact I even contacted the feds, DEMANDED they put me in contact with their director and tell me what the fuck is going on. He told me I did nothing wrong, I did everything correct and that it was their mistake and they should've done their homework better. But that's the government for you ack ack ack so inept at their jobs. Bunch of old fucks who are book smart, not street smart...hang on a second..okay so I just got a text from saying the farms was just under maintenance and it was joke and to shut the fuck up. It was a joke huh? It was a joke the whole time? I KNEW that. I was just going along with the gag of it being "totally real d00d". I know what trolling is! I get internet humor. I used to go on ebaumsworld every day back in the day so I understand the culture.

But guys seriously I'm starting to feel depressed now. I feel like this is going to ruin my online reputation and everyone's going to think I take things on the internet too seriously. This is SERIOUSLY going to cripple me emotionally and financially. Like I knew the whole thing was a joke but for a second there I felt like my livelihood was at stake! I mean I could've been SWATTED d00d, like for real. Brr getting an adrenaline rush just thinking about it clutches pearls. When the farms went down I looked outside and saw a random cop car driving down the street. Dude was playing it cool, munching on a donut, like it was just a routine shift, but they could've had guys armed and ready waiting for the signal if it was real. So I almost fucking died dude! That's why people like Tevin are so dangerous. Because people listen to him and all he does is lie and bullshit and exploit people for his own personal benefit. It's fucked up man and I'm fucking sick of it.
 
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Xerxes IX said:
He didn't scroll down and read the message at the bottom of the page when the forums were down?

Wait this is Phil we're talking about, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW NULL SAID IT WAS A JOKE AT THE END DOOD
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Listen, you gotta use your index finger to roll the scroll wheel down and then you need to use your eyeballs to read, okay? Then you have to use your brain to process the information. How was I supposed to do that, wow.
 
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I thought it was a fake account that said they read the farms as the images I saw didn't have the verification badge. Glad to see that he did post that tweet. There were a few nobodies who also thought the farms went down last night. I was hoping for more of a shit show.
 
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When people bring it up i guarantee he'll bring up photoshop or something similar..after banning people for afew days of course.

Of course if he does bring up photoshop that will prove that he's read this comment proving us right and if he doesn't bring up photoshop it will also prove us right because he'll know what were expecting.

Checkmate phil...
 
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This+ said:
Listen, you gotta use your index finger to roll the scroll wheel down and then you need to use your eyeballs to read, okay? Then you have to use your brain to process the information. How was I supposed to do that, wow.
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fucking detractors, theyre just misinformed idiots! they dont take the time to really understand the situation or my life DOOD! if only they took that 20 more seconds to READ OR WATCH THAT VIDEO OF ME they wouldve known i wasnt a complete asshole dood!
 
BallBuster said:
He could taste sweet victory for a moment. You could feel his smugness oozing out in that tweet. Then it was all snatched away from him, like his dignity on a daily basis.
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just found it. honestly, i feel like he wouldve been more smug about it, like twitlonger smug. saying shit like karma and thats what you get for being a mentally ill detractor. and how he never will fall like machinima cough cough. and kiwifarms and other shit. him saying that just seems so pale when you compare his actually mentality and personality
 
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Noodles&Nuggets said:
Phil really is his own worst enemy. He gets his hopes up for anything he knows nothing about just to have them crushed by reality. He just does not learn. Go to bed when you read this, Philip.
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Love how he always bitches about people being misinformed idiots who just believe everything they hear without doing any research or thinking critically.
 
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