Required Threads for New Members - What threads should new fags lurk first?

[Cup Noodle]

Every Geno Samuel Chris vid and every Mati episode should be required watching before registration. A lot of fuckers hang out here to shitpost and say nigger but don't even know any Christory or forum lore.

 

[6thRanger]

Russell Greer - This educates the Kiwi on the Kiwi approach to the physically deformed, rapid meme creation, original content, the incel mentality and a cow who is aware of their thread and pursues litigation.

Ethan Ralph - Reading on Ethan Ralph intrinsically packages a broad overview of multiple lolcows that interact with or have interacted with the site post 2016. It also shows the journey from hero to zero. It also educates the Kiwi on the site's administrator.

Zoosadist Mega Thread - This ties into the longtime suspicion of furies and has put a new darker cloud over them and everyone in animal control. It's also a taste of the farms moral core as opposed to laughter.

Chloe Wilkinson - Grifting, rampant real and fake mental illness, systems, santanic panic and much more. A standard "mentally ill grifting attention seeking whore" thread. An introduction to Beauty Parlor culture.

Patrick Tomlinson - a quintessential light read. Repetitive. Good for a chuckle. Inoffensive, barely interesting. A key "bag of chips" Lolcow. It's by no means a meal, but a bag of chips can hit the spot when on the move, child.

Isabella Loretta Janke - The beginning of the final chapter for the original Lolcow. Lots of information about Chris is casually dispersed in the thread and it displays two things a Kiwi needs to see: weaponized investigative autism and user infighting.


Chantal Saraut - She's fat, and every Kiwi should laugh at that fact. It exposes the Kiwi to pure mockery. There's little politics or anything about it. Chantal is a fat lying bitch, and we should all laugh.

 

[NoodleFucker3000]

Tommy Tooter

 

[Pizdec]

Tommy Tooter

Tom is one of those people who, while I won't stop a newbie from reading, if you're disgusted from reading it, then I recommend you stop browsing the site. The things he's done is the "abandon all hope" point. He is someone who will keep reminding himself and revel in the terrible and disgusting shit they've done.

 

[Kiwi On The Go]

The thread on that one Zhan Tiri sperg to show what you abso-fucking-lutely shouldn't do here.
Also the Julie Terryberry thread.

 

[Thiletonomics]

The Losing people to transgenderism support thread has some heavy reads in there, and shows the side that isn't talked about when it comes to transitioning, the people that get left behind as a result.

 

[RainwaterDrop]

ResetERA never lets me down. Moviebob and Patrick Tomlinson are good for a quick larf as well.

MovieBob feels like a movie character sometimes, he is an example of someone that doesn't think, only feels and does whatever it takes to look like a "good guy" on his own view. I didn't get much into Fatrick, he just bores me lol!

Another underrated cow is Fatso Jack. He never fails in doing either the stupidest, the nastiest or the most arrogant shit, sometimes all three!

 

[Beautiful Border]

Every Geno Samuel Chris vid and every Mati episode should be required watching before registration. A lot of fuckers hang out here to shitpost and say nigger but don't even know any Christory or forum lore.

I'd recommend people browse through the CWCki over watching some youtube documentary series, it's more fun that way plus it doesn't take sixty fucking hours

 

[Dededon't]

Pretty much every section of this site has its own culture, in a sense, but I feel the threads in the main Lolcow subforum demonstrate the basic etiquette well enough. Also, newfags should read Halal threads (AKA threads on KF users too autistic for even KF) sometime, as they usually star the user making a fool out of themselves and perfectly demonstrates how you should not act. A personal favorite of mine is this one.

Most importantly, lurk for a month minimum before posting.

 

[Yeeted Teet]

Kelly Ronahan is one of the greatest horrorcows ever to grace the site and shows just how much some people are willing to fake for attention.

 

[Kenya Jones]

I feel like all the classics should be read into to some extent, some have already been mentioned but I'll mention them again, in no particular order:

• Chris Chan
• Russell Greer
• ADF
• Shmorky
• Vordrak
• DarksidePhil
• Lowtax
• BriannaWu
• Cosmo/Narcissa Wright
• JustinRPG

Some site/Josh history stuff should also be seen, such as:

• Josh's Jayce Connors/DeagleNation stream
• The above lolcows like Chris, Vordrak and Russell Greer
• The zoosadist stuff
• Ethan Ralph and Dax Herrera
• and Couch Cuck

I know for sure I missed stuff but that's a good starting list.

 

[BipolarPon]

Maybe DillianThomas because there are alogs who talk about other cows who end up being just as Cowish.
Also not as gross as some other threads so an fairly easy read.

Niki Avacado if you want a total trainwreck. I recommend threads like these for those who are tired of tranny and political sperging.

 

[1440p Curved Monitor]

Isabelle Janke, just for them to see how hard the farms can fuck you up if you decide to go cow tipping.

 

[registered 2 hide avatars]

No newfag is going to read through 3000-page threads. That's why I would recommend the RPGnet thread. It's only a couple hundred pages long but a good example of what happened to many other forums like SA and Neogaf. Absolute insanity, autism and politics is a deadly combination

 

[Sanshain]

The fluffies thread.

 

[Kromer Merchant]

MovieBob is the only one that makes me legitimately angry

For me it's https://kiwifarms.net/threads/quint...oover-q_review-ottselspy24-ottselspy25.50905/
The thread is a great chronicle of his failures to become a relevant youtuber over the years but christ he's such a stereotypical soyboy I can't find enjoyment in his misery.

The Shmorky thread is a good required read as how not to go about in dealing with someone who turned out to be a peepeepoopoo diaperfag, and the community reaction to it.

If someone tries to TLDR the thread, then you are required to listen to Cecil McFly's video on it, period. No one should be allowed to post in Animal Control without reading or listening to the Zoosadism shit.

What did people do wrong with the Shmorky situation? I wasn't around when this happened so the only source I have to go from is the MATI stream, and nothing stood out as egregiously wrong. Even Lowtax pulled himself out of his pill stupor long enough to take some sort of action.

Every Geno Samuel Chris vid and every Mati episode should be required watching before registration. A lot of fuckers hang out here to shitpost and say nigger but don't even know any Christory or forum lore.

That's true, but you'd be surprised at the amount of frequent users here that don't watch MATI, then proceed to complain about shit Null discussed on stream multiple times before.

 

[Night Terror]

Pretty much every section of this site has its own culture, in a sense, but I feel the threads in the main Lolcow subforum demonstrate the basic etiquette well enough. Also, newfags should read Halal threads (AKA threads on KF users too autistic for even KF) sometime, as they usually star the user making a fool out of themselves and perfectly demonstrates how you should not act. A personal favorite of mine is this one.

Most importantly, lurk for a month minimum before posting.

i strongly recommend this thread as a good halal starter. it gets right into the juicy stuff and the ride doesn't end for quite some time. it's the perfect example of how not to make a name for yourself on KF.

 

[Pizdec]

What did people do wrong with the Shmorky situation? I wasn't around when this happened so the only source I have to go from is the MATI stream, and nothing stood out as egregiously wrong. Even Lowtax pulled himself out of his pill stupor long enough to take some sort of action.

LowTax did a lot of things terribly regarding the Shmorky situation, the long short of it is that, on top of having checked out mentally at being the head janny years prior, he essentially let his community go astray over arguing about Shmorky's gender, and gender politics, completely ignoring the fact that he was a complete and utter degenerate. LowTax, who has chronically never taken anything seriously, allowed the community to fight amongst themselves, resulting in the state of the affairs today that Something Awful is in.

Though, I guess this would also be a good time to also say people should also be required to read LowTax's thread, because it's a pretty good read on how a community went to shit when you let politics and trannies run amok with your forum, as well as overall not giving a shit and making poorer and poorer choices. And if you can't read it, someone already did a pretty decent video explaining the rise and fall of LowTax himself.

Edit: oh and the SA Community Watch thread is good, too.

 

[Justtocheck]

None, read books ffs

 

[brown brick]

The one where Null tells you how to give money to him.