Resident Evil - Virgin Vampire Wine Mom vs Chad Magnetic Lebowski

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You guys really think the people who made 'Cabin in the woods' and 'Van Helsing' with a poorly stapled on 'RE, we swear' remembers that the RE series is supposed to be cheesy fun?

I said it from the first trailer, these fucking morons are going to suck out all of the things that made 4 enjoyable to pander to the miserable faggots that got scared by the low poly zombies as a kid, and think RE is supposed to be gritty and serious.
Even RE6, for as much shit as people give it, was just cheesy fun. It didn’t take itself seriously. From the beginning of the franchise to about 2015, the franchise kept its cheesy elements. The attempt to make resident evil “serious” with the new games is like Nu-GOW trying to be “mature” when the old games were just about killing gods in the most brutal ways and having fun.
 
They killed the dog for the remake. Fuck these guys.
Everyone is looking at that thing with rose colored glasses, and I'm waiting on the shoe to drop that at least 40% of the game world is cut out of it. Talk about a game that didn't need a fucking update and has been rereleased a nauseating amount of times.

I truly hate the fans that constantly crave this shitty remake shit when they fucked up immediately after not doing them for nearly 20 years.

All these faggot fanbois cumming their drawers that Leon does Metal Gear Rising shit and blocks a fucking chainsaw... but RE6 is still worse, amirite consoooomer? The bar is so fucking low in this series that every installment now is a mega hype train that no one can be critical of.

I've always thought modern Resident Evil is what Metal Gear was going to become if it stuck around with Kojima doing it. Like I look at RE7 in bewilderment as to what was the fucking point of it, and why it's regarded by some as the best of the series when it doesn't even remotely resemble RE whatsoever. I did one playthrough of it and deleted it from my harddrive.
 
Even RE6, for as much shit as people give it, was just cheesy fun. It didn’t take itself seriously. From the beginning of the franchise to about 2015, the franchise kept its cheesy elements. The attempt to make resident evil “serious” with the new games is like Nu-GOW trying to be “mature” when the old games were just about killing gods in the most brutal ways and having fun.
I stand that RE6 is the absolute peak of the series, and no amount of reeing will convince me otherwise.

It's got the best atmosphere, the best combination of cheese, fun, and actual fear (it's the only RE game I've ever run short on bullets in), had some interesting fanservice with Sherry, some of the best enemy design, and was just a damn good time to play...with a friend.

It admittedly did fall prey to the mid 2010's trend of 'EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE CO-OP', which hamstrung it quite a bit, but people pretending RE never had stupid, over the top action hero moments clearly never played RE3, or even saw it.
 
I stand that RE6 is the absolute peak of the series, and no amount of reeing will convince me otherwise.

It's got the best atmosphere, the best combination of cheese, fun, and actual fear (it's the only RE game I've ever run short on bullets in), had some interesting fanservice with Sherry, some of the best enemy design, and was just a damn good time to play...with a friend.

It admittedly did fall prey to the mid 2010's trend of 'EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE CO-OP', which hamstrung it quite a bit, but people pretending RE never had stupid, over the top action hero moments clearly never played RE3, or even saw it.
I think it's core issue is too many campaigns. like RE5, should've been just two main characters (Leon and Claire) and that's it. The Tall Oaks segment is literally tapping you on the forehead going DO YOU REMEMBER RE2? THIS IS LIKE THAT, RIGHT?

Why couldn't it just be in the town again? Why did it need to be this globetrotting bullshit? Less is more. That's always been REs thing from the beginning. Tight scenario design with really cool setpieces. But you spend most of your time just running through everything. The first three chapters of Leon's campaign of the best part of the game. I actually dug the COOP in it, but it feels to arcady. Where as RE5 feels more like a looser RE4 without being detrimental.

I like the tag line they kept using to push RE7 that it's "back to the roots." I'm still waiting for that to be true and we're three games past it.
 
You guys really think the people who made 'Cabin in the woods' and 'Van Helsing' with a poorly stapled on 'RE, we swear' remembers that the RE series is supposed to be cheesy fun?

I said it from the first trailer, these fucking morons are going to suck out all of the things that made 4 enjoyable to pander to the miserable faggots that got scared by the low poly zombies as a kid, and think RE is supposed to be gritty and serious.
Yes, considering how absolutely retarded in the best possible ways moments in RE7 and just about the entirety of Village were.
 
Yes, considering how absolutely retarded in the best possible ways moments in RE7 and just about the entirety of Village were.
'We cut up your baby and put her in 4 jars. Collect them so you can put her back together.' That 'best possible way' of retardation? Or the one that just plonks a 'kooky wacky SAW man' in front of you, and expects you to clap?

There's a difference between cheese and retardation, and it's the difference between actual cheese and spoiled milk.

One is taking something shit and making it palatable through skill. The other is just dropping shit at your feet and expecting you to thank them.

I do know the event you're talking about, and no. Chainsaw scissors isn't cheese, it's fucking stupid.
 
An Outbreak remake is basically what they did with Resistance, which in itself was shit tier.

They could go the route of REmaster and just upscale everything. That would become the biggest multiplayer RE ever made in this climate. They put REmaster out for market data on doing more remakes and it sold very well.
Honestly, all we needed was Outbreak with prettier graphics, improved gameplay and new stuff to do.
Hell, a proper port of Outbreak file 1 and 2 on Steam would have sufficied
 
'We cut up your baby and put her in 4 jars. Collect them so you can put her back together.' That 'best possible way' of retardation? Or the one that just plonks a 'kooky wacky SAW man' in front of you, and expects you to clap?

There's a difference between cheese and retardation, and it's the difference between actual cheese and spoiled milk.

One is taking something shit and making it palatable through skill. The other is just dropping shit at your feet and expecting you to thank them.

I do know the event you're talking about, and no. Chainsaw scissors isn't cheese, it's fucking stupid.
I didn't realize RE8 was that fucking bad. It's the only main like game I decided to skip after the ruse cruise of RE7.

The series has always been hammy, even into the Gamecube generation. But, there was always a real air of seriousness without being so far up it's own ass. It's now an imposter series that is RE in name only. RE7 was a turducken of every America horror film ever made and none of them were remotely RE. By the time I got to the boat, I knew this shit wasn't getting any better.
 
Honestly, all we needed was Outbreak with prettier graphics, improved gameplay and new stuff to do.
Hell, a proper port of Outbreak file 1 and 2 on Steam would have sufficied
The gameplay is perfectly fine and plays exactly like RE remastered since it was using the full analog a decade before that did. It still looks fine for coming out 20 years ago. But of course it could be upscaled.

You can still play it online if you set up the network to link to the fan servers. I often still play on them and it's never short of players. I played the console online right until the end and was heartbroken when they shitcanned them.
 
I didn't realize RE8 was that fucking bad. It's the only main like game I decided to skip after the ruse cruise of RE7.

The series has always been hammy, even into the Gamecube generation. But, there was always a real air of seriousness without being so far up it's own ass. It's now an imposter series that is RE in name only. RE7 was a turducken of every America horror film ever made and none of them were remotely RE. By the time I got to the boat, I knew this shit wasn't getting any better.
I'm not kidding when I call RE8 'Van Helsing'.

You go into an isolated European village, fight through werewolves (the game literally calls them Lycans, and implies (though it's fucking impossible) it's spread by biting or scratching), go to a vampire mansion, fight a vampire, then go fight possessed dolls (which would be a ghost in this metaphor), go fight a fishman, then go into Frankenstein's castle, fight a bunch of Frankenstein's monsters (including one that's literally just a propeller with legs), then fight the doctor in a low-key mech fight. Finally, you find out you've been guided along by a witch, who, and this is no metaphor, kidnapped your daughter, cut her into pieces, then reassembled her, because a mushroom that her daughter died near eats the souls of those that die near it ('absorbs the consciousness and memories', as the game puts it) and she thinks that because Ethan is now a fungus (turns out he died when Jack 'welcomed him to the family', and Evie brought him back which made him into a mold monster, TOTALLY EXPLAINING why the juice works), his fungus baby will be a better host for her dead childs spirit.

It doesn't work, and so she transforms into a demon, and you shoot her. End game.

Oh, and, I forgot, all of these events are literally foreshadowed in a story book at the beginning of the game.

Watch a playthrough or Youtube movie of it sometime, it's really fucking painful, but skipping the actually half decent gameplay will make it a bit better.

Also, the entire 'CHRIS IS EVIL!?' twist is a total non-issue. Turns out he just forgot how to say 'hey, bad shit's going down, I'm here to help.'

Edit: Oh yeah, they also retcon the shit out of 5, by saying that the Witch was actually a super, amazing scientist, and taught Spencer everything he knows, and a random white and red Umbrella carving is why Umbrella is what it is. So, enjoy that plot raping.
 
'We cut up your baby and put her in 4 jars. Collect them so you can put her back together.' That 'best possible way' of retardation? Or the one that just plonks a 'kooky wacky SAW man' in front of you, and expects you to clap?

There's a difference between cheese and retardation, and it's the difference between actual cheese and spoiled milk.

One is taking something shit and making it palatable through skill. The other is just dropping shit at your feet and expecting you to thank them.

I do know the event you're talking about, and no. Chainsaw scissors isn't cheese, it's fucking stupid.
"Chainsaw scissors" is just one small example of the overall retardation that is the Jack Baker experience and you know that for a fact, or you're just being intentionally disingenuous.

And, yes, Lucas Baker's Saw bullshit is one of the more retarded beats of RE7, and I really don't get what you're looking for then when you're getting almost exactly what you're asking for but you're going "No, this is too stupid for Resident Evil," when you have... Most of the rest of the franchise to reflect back on in terms of retarded shit, some of which is far more grandiose and ridiculous in presentation and proposition than "Saw, but Resident Evil."

Most of Village is just beat for beat ridiculous bullshit and you're glossing over a vast majority of it just to focus on the glorified key hunt that makes up the basic progression of the game. Hell, this thread's title alone is a testament to that fact.

I didn't realize RE8 was that fucking bad. It's the only main like game I decided to skip after the ruse cruise of RE7.

The series has always been hammy, even into the Gamecube generation. But, there was always a real air of seriousness without being so far up it's own ass. It's now an imposter series that is RE in name only. RE7 was a turducken of every America horror film ever made and none of them were remotely RE. By the time I got to the boat, I knew this shit wasn't getting any better.
It confuses me how you talk about how hammy Resident Evil as a series as it being a selling point, but yet it's somehow "bad" when the new games (and I DO mean the NEW games, not the remakes, because those have been varying in quality of crap with RE3 being the laziest fucking cash grab possible) are doing some of the exact same bullshit as before.
 
It confuses me
Well, you're a halo fan who likes Nu-RE, so, I imagine that's normal.
It confuses me how you talk about how hammy Resident Evil as a series as it being a selling point, but yet it's somehow "bad" when the new games (and I DO mean the NEW games, not the remakes, because those have been varying in quality of crap with RE3 being the laziest fucking cash grab possible) are doing some of the exact same bullshit as before.
Again. Ham =/= fucking stupid. Same as soft science =/= literal enchanted dagger that is the only thing that can kill a vampire.

Hammy is Chris punching a boulder. It's stupid, but it's within a realm of possibility.

Hammy is Claire and Leon spouting movie one liners.

Hammy is 'Jill Sandwhich.'

Hammy is a 9 foot tall pale dude in a trench coat and a hat because it 'helps with urban stealth'

Stupid is 'my dad got bit and is turning into a werewolf, despite the fact that the werewolf is actually a mold worm the size of an infant burrowing into a man (specifically a man)'

Stupid is fungus man makes a baby and no one notices.

Stupid is mold gives old woman the power to spawn insects out of the hive from her cooch.

Stupid is Random chick in bumfuck Louisiana makes a super serum to cure herself despite not knowing if the ingredients even exist with literally no equipment.
 
Well, you're a halo fan who likes Nu-RE, so, I imagine that's normal.

Again. Ham =/= fucking stupid. Same as soft science =/= literal enchanted dagger that is the only thing that can kill a vampire.

Hammy is Chris punching a boulder. It's stupid, but it's within a realm of possibility.

Hammy is Claire and Leon spouting movie one liners.

Hammy is 'Jill Sandwhich.'

Hammy is a 9 foot tall pale dude in a trench coat and a hat because it 'helps with urban stealth'

Stupid is 'my dad got bit and is turning into a werewolf, despite the fact that the werewolf is actually a mold worm the size of an infant burrowing into a man (specifically a man)'

Stupid is fungus man makes a baby and no one notices.

Stupid is mold gives old woman the power to spawn insects out of the hive from her cooch.

Stupid is Random chick in bumfuck Louisiana makes a super serum to cure herself despite not knowing if the ingredients even exist with literally no equipment.
I couldn't of stated it any better.

This new series is so divorced from the original. While I don't like the RE4-6 trilogy like I did the original, it still felt very much apart of what came before it and continued many troupes that were already established.

RE7 and RE8 are just both new IPs that don't even feel like they're related at all to each other, let alone related to RE as a whole.

Blob shit monsters and then vampires and werewolves. In no way, is this "hammy" like the originals. Just because it's based around zombies, doesn't mean you start introducing European folklore monsters and we're supposed to take it seriously. As soon as I saw that in the first trailer for RE8, I realized I don't need to follow this series anymore.
 
Well, you're a halo fan who likes Nu-RE, so, I imagine that's normal.
That sure is a lot of assumptions you're making.

Again. Ham =/= fucking stupid. Same as soft science =/= literal enchanted dagger that is the only thing that can kill a vampire.

Hammy is Chris punching a boulder. It's stupid, but it's within a realm of possibility.

Hammy is Claire and Leon spouting movie one liners.

Hammy is 'Jill Sandwhich.'

Hammy is a 9 foot tall pale dude in a trench coat and a hat because it 'helps with urban stealth'

Stupid is 'my dad got bit and is turning into a werewolf, despite the fact that the werewolf is actually a mold worm the size of an infant burrowing into a man (specifically a man)'

Stupid is fungus man makes a baby and no one notices.

Stupid is mold gives old woman the power to spawn insects out of the hive from her cooch.

Stupid is Random chick in bumfuck Louisiana makes a super serum to cure herself despite not knowing if the ingredients even exist with literally no equipment.
But literally everyone noticed that fungus man made a baby. Literally almost everyone was in on it EXCEPT for Ethan himself.

You also didn't catch me defending Marguerite because even I think Marguerite's shtick was too retarded in the dumb way.

Mia was also directly stated to be an operative for the Connections and the Baker estate was shown to have all this hidden equipment on-site.

What are you on about?

I couldn't of stated it any better.

This new series is so divorced from the original. While I don't like the RE4-6 trilogy like I did the original, it still felt very much apart of what came before it and continued many troupes that were already established.

RE7 and RE8 are just both new IPs that don't even feel like they're related at all to each other, let alone related to RE as a whole.

Blob shit monsters and then vampires and werewolves. In no way, is this "hammy" like the originals. Just because it's based around zombies, doesn't mean you start introducing European folklore monsters and we're supposed to take it seriously. As soon as I saw that in the first trailer for RE8, I realized I don't need to follow this series anymore.
You know these same exact arguments were used before specifically in the case of RE4-6, right?

It strongly sounds like one massive case of "NEW THING BAD BECAUSE NEW AND DIFFERENT" here.
 
I think it's core issue is too many campaigns. like RE5, should've been just two main characters (Leon and Claire) and that's it. The Tall Oaks segment is literally tapping you on the forehead going DO YOU REMEMBER RE2? THIS IS LIKE THAT, RIGHT?
I think the multiple scenarios could of worked out, but they'd need to practically be games in their own right. Which would of been a nightmare for Capcom.

Why couldn't it just be in the town again? Why did it need to be this globetrotting bullshit? Less is more. That's always been REs thing from the beginning. Tight scenario design with really cool setpieces. But you spend most of your time just running through everything. The first three chapters of Leon's campaign of the best part of the game. I actually dug the COOP in it, but it feels to arcady. Where as RE5 feels more like a looser RE4 without being detrimental.
Because when a game company keeps delivering the same experience over and over again it causes gaming journalists and the company's detractors to lambast them with shit reviews. Couple it with Capcom trying to do new things to keep the series fresh you wound up with the RE6's fragmented gameplay.

I like the tag line they kept using to push RE7 that it's "back to the roots." I'm still waiting for that to be true and we're three games past it.
I'd rather they let the series stay dead for a while until they get some new ideas. I'm kind of tired of them beating this dead horse.
 
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Because when a game company keeps delivering the same experience over and over again it causes gaming journalists and the company's detractors to lambast them with shit reviews. Couple it with Capcom trying to do new things to keep the series fresh you wound up with the RE6's fragmented gameplay.
And yet RE6 is still a fun game ( minus the QTE nonsense at the end of Leon's) . For a action horror game RE6 has that feeling where each of the separate campaigns gives you a different taste of what modern RE could aim for.

Leon's is more towards the classic side of RE if done in a more action light. Almost feeling like a prototype of what a new outbreak game could look and feel like up to the china part where it devolves into nonsense that feels more like David Cronenberg shot the director and replaced him.
(Heresy opinion I know)

Chris's is what happens when you combined 4-5 while also injecting a CoD story into it like some umbrella experiment.

and Jake's would be a more actiony take on 3 before the 3 remake was even a glimmer in capcom's eye.

Ada's is just ada's.

The story is what brings the rest down. The gameplay is fine(aside form the QTE's fuck those things.)

Gaming journalists I doubt could make it pass chapter 1, let alone form a valid and interesting opinion about why RE6 is bad.
 
Chris's is what happens when you combined 4-5 while also injecting a CoD story into it like some umbrella experiment.

and Jake's would be a more actiony take on 3 before the 3 remake was even a glimmer in capcom's eye.

Ada's is just ada's.
Chris' campaign should of been him and Piers hunting down big, virus infected animals in Africa.

Ada's should of been her and Jill helping each other from time to time as Ada feeds Leon info and Jill does the same for Chris.
 
That sure is a lot of assumptions you're making.
You are literally named after a Halo character. With a Halo quote. And a Halo picture, and you're sucking off Nu-RE. I pray to god you're trolling, cus otherwise, you're reaching levels of dent that reserve you a mod in DSP chats.
But literally everyone noticed that fungus man made a baby. Literally almost everyone was in on it EXCEPT for Ethan himself.
Mia had no idea he became a fungus (admittedly, we don't know this, because Capcom realized what a shit character she was and binned her as fast as possible), no doctor took a look at Rose and said 'holy shit, this is a fungus baby.'. Chris didn't know Ethan was a fungus, as shown at the end of 8. Did you even play it?

You also didn't catch me defending Marguerite because even I think Marguerite's shtick was too retarded in the dumb way.
So, by your own admission, Jack was stupid, Maruerite was stupid, Saw man who's name I don't fucking remember is stupid...so confirmed, you're trolling.
Mia was also directly stated to be an operative for the Connections and the Baker estate was shown to have all this hidden equipment on-site.

What are you on about?
Why the fuck are you bringing up Mia? Again, did you even play it? I was talking about Zoe, who, *on fucking screen* slaps two body parts together in a boathouse, with no equipment around, and turns up two vials. And even straight up says "A head? I think I have that around here somewhere..."

So, either you're trolling, and being a contrarian shithead for the sake of it with less knowledge of the game than Kotaku, or you're dumb enough to deserve your own thread on here. Either way, literally anything you say is now invalid, and I nominate you for your pink triangle.

Also, nigger, don't think we don't see you with that 'name' sock. You ain't slick.
 
Ada's should of been her and Jill helping each other from time to time as Ada feeds Leon info and Jill does the same for Chris.
Instead we get Ada and a fucking ghost for all the story cares.

Still boils my blood by how fucked "The agent" is treated by the game.
 
You are literally named after a Halo character. With a Halo quote. And a Halo picture, and you're sucking off Nu-RE. I pray to god you're trolling, cus otherwise, you're reaching levels of dent that reserve you a mod in DSP chats.
Yes? I fucking hate Nu-Halo though, and my argument for "Nu-RE" is entirely predicated on the basis that it's alright at best and nowhere near as bad as you keep painting it to be.

Mia had no idea he became a fungus (admittedly, we don't know this, because Capcom realized what a shit character she was and binned her as fast as possible), no doctor took a look at Rose and said 'holy shit, this is a fungus baby.'. Chris didn't know Ethan was a fungus, as shown at the end of 8. Did you even play it?
Wasn't Mia the one who gave Chris the extensive explanation near the end of Village about Ethan turning into a moldman? And that everyone more or less knew that Rosemary was a mold baby, which was kind of the basis for Village's plot happening in the first place?

So, by your own admission, Jack was stupid, Maruerite was stupid, Saw man who's name I don't fucking remember is stupid...so confirmed, you're trolling.
I literally said earlier that Jack and Lucas were retarded though? But they were retarded in a more fun and entertaining way than whatever the fuck bughive-vagina Maurgerite was.

Why the fuck are you bringing up Mia? Again, did you even play it? I was talking about Zoe, who, *on fucking screen* slaps two body parts together in a boathouse, with no equipment around, and turns up two vials. And even straight up says "A head? I think I have that around here somewhere..."
Because I thought you were referring to Mia, and I acknowledge that that was most likely a misunderstanding on my part as I don't remember the details on Zoe that well outside from the serum choice and the basic gist of the postgame DLC where you play an Unga Bunga backwoods Louisiana swamp man who punches Mold and doesn't afraid of anything.

So, either you're trolling, and being a contrarian shithead for the sake of it with less knowledge of the game than Kotaku, or you're dumb enough to deserve your own thread on here. Either way, literally anything you say is now invalid, and I nominate you for your pink triangle.
I would recommend slowing your roll on the MATI over a simple disagreement of opinion. Or, you know, keep throwing shitfits over nothing. It's kinda funny.

Also, nigger, don't think we don't see you with that 'name' sock. You ain't slick.
The actual fuck are you on about?
 
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