Retcon Round-Up

[Raven'sChild]

D$P is the King of retconning. Tonight, he was at it again. I started thinking it would be a good idea to post all the story changes in one place for ease of access. I'll add older ones I remember at a later date so as to include the before and after. Add your entries as well.

Tonight, D$P's dropping out of pursuing a Master's degree that was being paid for by the Helicopter Company received a retcon from the tale told during his retrospective. The story now is that his carpool stopped going so he couldn't go anymore...because his bad back kept him from driving himself. During the retrospective, the story was that he stopped going due to tensions with the driver of the carpool; the wife of the guy he bought the ConnDough from after he brought up issues with the condo...of course, one of the issues was a retcon* from the hole in the dryway having been discovered while he was moving in and due to no fault of his own to having opened the door to hard while moving in and breaking the drywall due to a lack of a doorstop .

* The 2009 video makes it seem as if he discovered the hole. The 2011 video he says @2:02 "...there was a hole in the wall right here because I had opened this door/Someone had opened this door I-I to my knowledge it wasn't me, but someone had opened the door so hard.....and there was no doorstop down there that it made a hole in the f*n wall... and I put the doorstop down there. The 2019 video he says on the day he moved in HE opened the door and made the hole.
@5:04

@2:02

@5:42

 

[Sparkletor]

My 2 favorite retconned stories are the car accident and how he hurt his back.

Phil ran his car off the road. But it was not his fault and actually a hit and run driver who got away and Phil got blamed. But then Phil sued the other driver and got a bunch of money. And also his car burst into flames and Phil's head caught fire and he almost died.

Phil hurt his back... umm, he doesn't know. Oh yeah, he hurt his back playing touch football in the park with his friends. But Phil can't go outside because he is allergic to sun. So he really probably hurt his back in the car accident. Or maybe it was when he was an amature professional body builder in business college. Or the real reason he herniated a disc in his back, he was forced to wear a backpack in school. His injury is so bad that he cannot drive or move or he could die. If he bends a certain way he cannot control his bodily functions and will soil his briefs. It is so bad that Phil is unable to work. The weather in Connecticut made his back worse because there was ice and he could have possibly slipped one day, so I guess that preemptively injured him. It is so bad that Phil needs to move to Seattle to get experimental surgery to fix it. But don't worry, the Seattle air and lack of ice cured him. Also he has a garage and has to walk a whole 100 less feet to carry groceries and that did wonders for his back.

Honorable mentions:

Respect the Pact specifically told Phil they didn't want to get paid to work on Project 7.

Phil never told people to click on ads.

Phil broke up with Leanna.

Phil claiming he never met Sammy the cat.

Phil sating he doesn't know anyone named "One Hand Fred"

Phil wasn't fired from Machinama, he quit.

Phil wasn't scammed by Laveria, he actually tricked them.

Phil admitted he whacked off on stream right away and didn't try to hide it.

 

[Haunter]

I think this is the first I'm hearing of the helicopter company paying for his education. From this video: "I was only there because I had a scholarship. It was the only way I could afford to go there. I still had to take out student loans, cuz it wasn't a full scholarship, they didn't offer full scholarships."

Also, @Raven'sChild, did he say "Master's Degree"? I think that's new to me, too. He's explained his reason for not pursuing further education later in that video. When he graduated with a degree in Finance, he said, "Fuck it all if I know what to do with it." He was only offered "unpaid internships", and job prospects were only looking for those with experience. So, Phil declared his degree worthless.

I'll add some retcons I've noted in the past. Ask The King Ep. 74 had a few that I transcribed in the OP of that thread. He laid out the new reason for why he could no longer make "edited style content":

Phil was dissuaded from continuing his game reviews because “Youtube began de-monetizing edited style content videos”. Re-counts the success of KO-Gaming: “My reviews were getting tons of views. One of them got a million views that year”. Without warning, Youtube changed their policies and de-monetized all of KO-Gaming's videos, while leaving his “raw” videos unmolested.

At the end of his ATK stream, he unveiled the new reason for why Machinima canned him:

Phil did some research into Machinima's last CEO, discovering he only given his CEO position because of his wealth. “A complete fucking moron”, “a rich bitch”. “This guy single-handedly destroyed the company”. Never mind the above explanation of “jack-of-all-trades” and “bleeding money”.

Not only that: “Oh, and by the way, that guy was responsible for getting rid of my Machinima partnership. I never told you guys about that before, but now that Machinima doesn't exist anymore, I can tell you.”

“Because I had emailed my old contact... my old contact was head of the Partnership Program... and then the next day I got an Automated Log Service from Machinima saying, 'Don't you dare send emails internally to us ever again'... So I come to find out, this guy that took over Machinima, after he disbanded the Partner Program and everything himself... He was taking in the emails from the Partnership Program guys that no longer worked there anymore. He saw my email, and personally complained to the people at the Automated Logs, saying, 'Why aren't you people handling this', and they said, 'Oh, well we're doing our best, but this guy's complaining cuz his livelihood's gonna be lost, or whatever'. Apparently, the guy looked into it, and said, 'Alright, well then, just get rid of him, then'”.

 

[Dragoonism]

I think this is the first I'm hearing of the helicopter company paying for his education. From this video: "I was only there because I had a scholarship. It was the only way I could afford to go there. I still had to take out student loans, cuz it wasn't a full scholarship, they didn't offer full scholarships."

First time i heard him talk about trying to get a higher degree after hearing for years about those ivy league schools that wouldn't let him in because he wasn't rich or black!

Phil hurt his back... umm, he doesn't know. Oh yeah, he hurt his back playing touch football in the park with his friends. But Phil can't go outside because he is allergic to sun. So he really probably hurt his back in the car accident. Or maybe it was when he was an amature professional body builder in business college. Or the real reason he herniated a disc in his back, he was forced to wear a backpack in school. His injury is so bad that he cannot drive or move or he could die. If he bends a certain way he cannot control his bodily functions and will soil his briefs. It is so bad that Phil is unable to work. The weather in Connecticut made his back worse because there was ice and he could have possibly slipped one day, so I guess that preemptively injured him. It is so bad that Phil needs to move to Seattle to get experimental surgery to fix it. But don't worry, the Seattle air and lack of ice cured him. Also he has a garage and has to walk a whole 100 less feet to carry groceries and that did wonders for his back.

Forgot the part about how special his herniated disc is!
It is so special that they needed to invent a completely new surgery just to cure him, which took 2-3 years at least, and as they did it he talked with other people that had had the very same surgery and learned it was a 50-50 chance he would come out of it ok and having it would cost unknown tens of thousands of dollars!

 

[Raven'sChild]

My 2 favorite retconned stories are the car accident and how he hurt his back.

Phil ran his car off the road. But it was not his fault and actually a hit and run driver who got away and Phil got blamed. But then Phil sued the other driver and got a bunch of money. And also his car burst into flames and Phil's head caught fire and he almost died.

Phil hurt his back... umm, he doesn't know. Oh yeah, he hurt his back playing touch football in the park with his friends. But Phil can't go outside because he is allergic to sun. So he really probably hurt his back in the car accident. Or maybe it was when he was an amature professional body builder in business college. Or the real reason he herniated a disc in his back, he was forced to wear a backpack in school. His injury is so bad that he cannot drive or move or he could die. If he bends a certain way he cannot control his bodily functions and will soil his briefs. It is so bad that Phil is unable to work. The weather in Connecticut made his back worse because there was ice and he could have possibly slipped one day, so I guess that preemptively injured him. It is so bad that Phil needs to move to Seattle to get experimental surgery to fix it. But don't worry, the Seattle air and lack of ice cured him. Also he has a garage and has to walk a whole 100 less feet to carry groceries and that did wonders for his back.

2009 he 'found out about his severely herniated disk'

@Haunter

 

[BrunoMattei]

My 2 favorite retconned stories are the car accident and how he hurt his back.

It's more layered than that. When he first started doing vlogs on YT he stated that he woke up one day and his back was hurting and he slipped a disc. He maintained that story for years until Arealord said in a comment that he injured his back in a car accident. Then many years after after that comment got out he went with the car accident story.

 

[leChinkyRaccoon]

Can't find a specific instance but I know he's said a couple times in recent memory that he's self-made or he's chastised trolls for getting their jollies with mommy and daddy's money, or:

“A complete fucking moron”, “a rich bitch”. “This guy single-handedly destroyed the company”. Never mind the above explanation of “jack-of-all-trades” and “bleeding money”.

In general a disdain for those born with a silver spoon in their mouths. Then coming to the CT vacation and marriage his parents paid for everything, flights, food, wedding, dress, reception, hotel room and tax, and a tip on top of it all. Maybe not a retcon, but certainly a hypocrisy in that it's okay for him to be utterly critical and dismissive of others for one thing and not humbled but triumphant from the same actions.

 

[Scotsman]

His story about the car crash has changed a few times, as well as the injuries he received.

First it was just a back injury, then a big piece of metal speared into his head. Now he's claiming that he was turned into Harvey Two-face.

 

[PieceofShet]

Remember when after the life fapping he started banning people and denied it happened... until bigger youtubers spread the information and then he admited it?

Later, everytime the topic comes up he claimed he never denied it and or banned people and he ALWAYS embraced the happy accident.

 

[millais]

Wasn't there some major retconning involved in his repeated retellings of the infamous gaming PC lemon story? At first it was just the case being damaged in shipping, but then he added the poor performance to the list of complaints, and finally got to the point where he was claiming that he generously overpaid the fan to build it as a favor, but in reality Pigroach only paid for the cost of the parts plus shipping, no cost of labor paid to the fan who built it.

 

[Synth]

Wasn't there some major retconning involved in his repeated retellings of the infamous gaming PC lemon story? At first it was just the case being damaged in shipping, but then he added the poor performance to the list of complaints, and finally got to the point where he was claiming that he generously overpaid the fan to build it as a favor, but in reality Pigroach only paid for the cost of the parts plus shipping, no cost of labor paid to the fan who built it.

I'm not sure of everything, but I do know that the dudes who built it (can't remember their names for the life of me) did come out and say they ended up eating the costs of some stuff because they messed up installing parts or something, and I'm pretty sure they didn't get paid any labor or whatever. But honestly, they were fans and wanted to do it as part of credit or something as well for some course they were taking and didn't really want compensation.

Sure, good will and all that to give them money for their time, but that's not entirely on Dave.

 

[PieceofShet]

I'm not sure of everything, but I do know that the dudes who built it (can't remember their names for the life of me) did come out and say they ended up eating the costs of some stuff because they messed up installing parts or something, and I'm pretty sure they didn't get paid any labor or whatever. But honestly, they were fans and wanted to do it as part of credit or something as well for some course they were taking and didn't really want compensation.

Sure, good will and all that to give them money for their time, but that's not entirely on Dave.

Chris Furtado or something, dunno how to spell his family name.

 

[PieceofShet]

Another day, another retcon, lie.

Appearantly he was in the call when his mcn and youtube talked about his channel. Never mentioned it before.

 

[Raven'sChild]

Last night's MLB stream had a treasure trove of retcons:

1. The relationship with Rambo soured due to D$P being tooooo busy to call his friend resulting in Rambo feeling neglected and thus ending their friendship. D$P says he did text Rambo occasionally though, but had no idea that anything he was or was not doing was a problem because Rambo never told him.
2. While still almost having been killed in the infamous car accident, he walked away from it and talked to witnesses. ( no mention of 'half his face being burned' nor being taken to the hospital where his mother was to have chided him for having driven on that particular road).
3. The 'hot girl in school' who was throwing herself at D$P even though she was dating the School's Top Jock...took place in ELEMENTARY School ( grades 1-5 for non US folks).
4. D$P was in a number of mano y mano fights. All of which he won with one seeing D$P shove a fellow class mate so hard it dented the wall.
5. His circle of friends while in high school was apparently the male cast of 'The Breakfast Club': A jock, a nerd and an outcast.

 

[That Hedonist Nerd]

Yep. Dave and his stupid confirmation bias. And also his Defensive attribution hypothesis

Of all the cognitive biases, I fucking hate hate HATE these ones the most.

I hate them - well, and dislike most cognitive biases really - because he truly believes the these new statements. If he took a polygraph, he'd pass.

Essentially, his mind works via inductive reasoning rather than deductive.
Deductive reasoning, as Socrates states it:

1. All men are mortal
2. Socrates is a man
3. Therefore, he is mortal.

So we go with a broad statement, then narrow down to something specific. If #3 is true, then everything else is also true.

Inductive reasoning is the exact opposite. We start with something specific and unpack it to something broad. Something like:

1. I pulled a nickel out of this bag
2. A second coin I pulled out is a nickel
3. A third coin was also a nickel, therefore all of the coins in this bag are nickels.

Now that you know what it is, EVERY SINGLE FUCKING ENTITLED CUNT you run into will think that way. And they aren't lying. In their head, that's how it is.
So Dave can take 'I survived this car accident', and then unpack broader and broader statements that may or may not be true, but it doesn't matter because they aren't connected like they are in deductive reasoning.

 

[Raven'sChild]

Yep. Dave and his stupid confirmation bias. And also his Defensive attribution hypothesis

Of all the cognitive biases, I fucking hate hate HATE these ones the most.

I hate them - well, and dislike most cognitive biases really - because he truly believes the these new statements. If he took a polygraph, he'd pass.
...

So Dave can take 'I survived this car accident', and then unpack broader and broader statements that may or may not be true, but it doesn't matter because they aren't connected like they are in deductive reasoning.

Bit of a flaw here being that D$P unpacks both broader and narrower statements that oft contradict the ones before. He is getting a bit wiser as he refused to elaborate on the story about the girl beyond adding that it took place in Elementary school...due to imo...realizing he had he'd just tripped on a strand of his own web of lies. He dials up or dials down events based on the narrative he wishes to portray at the moment...or things he is aware of having raised some eyebrows ( ie. his revelation of having suffered burns to half his face in a certain car accident he had talked about repeatedly without mentioning this rather major detail). This, coupled with his back peddling of some inflated story elements when immediately asked about the new contradictions, leads me to believe he would not pass a polygraph. While I do hold that he creates his own reality, he also knows deep down that it's a 'reality' of his own creation.

 

[harbinger]

Deductive reasoning, as Socrates states it:

1. All men are mortal
2. Socrates is a man
3. Therefore, he is mortal.

Holy crap! Socrates foretold his own death? That’s spooky.

 

[Sparkletor]

The real reason Phil said the Latina girl stuff happened in elementary school is because his tiny school had grades 1 - 8 in the same building. I remember Phil talking about how he had an 8 year legacy with his school. Most people don't go to the same school for 8 years, something he is strangely proud of.

So in his mind he was in elementary school when it was 8th grade or more commonly known, Jr. High.

Phil is just dumb.

 

[Preferred Penne]

The real reason Phil said the Latina girl stuff happened in elementary school is because his tiny school had grades 1 - 8 in the same building. I remember Phil talking about how he had an 8 year legacy with his school. Most people don't go to the same school for 8 years, something he is strangely proud of.

So in his mind he was in elementary school when it was 8th grade or more commonly known, Jr. High.

Phil is just dumb.

I went to a school in a reasonably sized town. The school was fairly small and had grades K-8, with typically around 20 per class. It wasn't until I reached high school that I realized that wasn't the norm.

 

[Forbidden Math]

New Retcon just this morning from his prestream,. At one point some time ago I guess DSP claims he was going to a con to speak and AVGN was also going to be there but AVGN snubbed him so he got bumped or something like that. Well now it's not AVGN it's Projared conveniently enough and he knew he was a scumbag since then. Not sure on the lore, maybe someone can confirm, just heard on Tevin's stream and thought it should be mentioned.