Retcon Round-Up

[Raven'sChild]

Though it was only yesterday during ATK that D$P said J2k had let him sleep in while Mrs. D$P put her make-up on before they went out on their most recent day off together, today in response to a contribution apologizing for being late as they slept in...D$P said he 'could not remember the last time he slept in besides when he had been sick'. Terrible really, he has to be at work at 10:15am which is really hard to do seeing as he is rarely on time.
His retcons are getting closer and closer together and concerning the most mundane of things one wonders if he is a pathological liar.

 

[Sparkletor]

Though it was only yesterday during ATK that D$P said J2k had let slept in while Mrs. D$P put her make-up on before they went out on their most recent day off together, today in response to a contribution apologizing for being late as they slept in...D$P said he 'could not remember the last time he slept in besides when he had been sick'. Terrible really, he has to be at work at 10:15am which is really hard to do seeing as he is rarely on time.
His retcons are getting closer and closer together and concerning the most mundane of things one wonders if he is a pathological liar.

He is not a pathological liar. He is a pathological protector of his family, real talk.

 

[Meerkat Ink]

His retcons are getting closer and closer together and concerning the most mundane of things one wonders if he is a pathological liar.

When J2k was announced, Tevin said "this guy might lie about his door being open" and I agree (Kat agrees with me too). He lies about the most casual things that he personally goes out of his way to mention...

 

[Raven'sChild]

According to prestream today, the 'bike' *cough* he corrected himself elliptical trainer ( folks were right ) ...only he claimed it cost $300 LOCKED UP with the horrible sound of gears grinding, the bike "stuttering"and then it completely LOCKED UP after she had been riding it for ~15 mins. Original story was that it "made a sound" and he told her he was worried and she shouldn't ride it anymore.

Edit: Apparently there were cops on bullhorns yelling at his townhouse around 5-6mins for him to come out with his hands up during 'The Swatting'. He had not heard them due to wearing noise canceling headset and soundproofing foam on his walls. Which is why he could not have streamed last night. Stream can hear the landscapers and trucks backing up outside his Townhouse, but no one heard cops on bullhorns during his 'Wellness Check'.....

 

[Sparkletor]

According to prestream today, the 'bike' *cough* he corrected himself elliptical trainer ( folks were right ) ...only he claimed it cost $300 LOCKED UP with the horrible sound of gears grinding, the bike "stuttering"and then it completely LOCKED UP after she had been riding it for ~15 mins. Original story was that it "made a sound" and he told her he was worried and she shouldn't ride it anymore.

Edit: Apparently there were cops on bullhorns yelling at his townhouse around 5-6mins for him to come out with his hands up during 'The Swatting'. He had not heard them due to wearing noise canceling headset and soundproofing foam on his walls. Which is why he could not have streamed last night. Stream can hear the landscapers and trucks backing up outside his Townhouse, but no one heard cops on bullhorns during his 'Wellness Check'.....

Keep in mind Leanna was there too, allegedly using the restroom. Personally if I was Leanna and I heard a police bullhorn screaming "Philip Burnell, come out with your hands up" I probably wouldn't let it continue for 5 minutes.

If I was an elite.member of the Seattle SWAT team I wouldn't stand outside doing nothing for 5 minutes if I had a report of a murder happening. "Attention! If you are butchering a family, please stop! We will patiently wait outside in the meanwhile"

This is why SWATtings are so brutal. They don't announce themselves. They kick the door down. They shoot tear gas. "My boyfriend Phil got drunk and hit me" that would get the cops to come out and knock on the door. "My boyfriend has me and my parents tied up and plans to kill us and then start killing strangers" will get the SWAT team to show up.

Phil claims he talked to the police before hand and told them about potential SWATting. I wonder if this is true. "Hello, chief of police please. Yes, I'm a famous Street Fighter and have a lot of people who dislike me... No, it's a video game... No, no. I play video games for a living... On YouTube... Yes... So anyways, if anyone calls 911 and says I'm committing a crime, just ignore it... Oh, you can't?... Well can you give me courtesy call before you raid my compound?... Okay, great."

 

[Haunter]

Phil claims he talked to the police before hand and told them about potential SWATting. I wonder if this is true.

I posted the "Case Report" of the Swatting attempt last year here.

The person contacting the Emergency Call Center, Valley Communications, wouldn't identify himself, and "generated a 'black-screen'", which I presume to mean he was hiding his number.

"Due to the black-screen, which was suspect, consideration was administered that this could be a 'Swatting' call. Further investigation revealed the resident had previously reported to Renton Police that he had received information form other gamers online that a swatting call was being planned against him. This information was also discovered by Valley Communications".

So he did warn the Renton Police about this happening.

 

[KingjadVCMP]

So he did warn the Renton Police about this happening.

One of the extremely rare times Phil was sensible, in my opinion, as it turned out to be the correct course of action.

His ridiculous reaction to it afterwards immediately ruined his sensibility though and normal stupidity on his part resumed.

 

[Raven'sChild]

Tonight, during Sonic, D$P remarked that he would pull all nighters at Uni if need be to "maintain his scholarship" which was paying for his schooling. During the QuarterPounder interview, he said he has used his YT monies to "pay off his student loans".

 

[Sparkletor]

Tonight, during Sonic, D$P remarked that he would pull all nighters at Uni if need be to "maintain his scholarship" which was paying for his schooling. During the QuarterPounder interview, he said he has used his YT monies to "pay off his student loans".

Phil's educational history is very sketchy which I why I took it upon myself to see if he was really the valedictorian. I was very surprised to find out that he really was.

There are so many Ask the King episodes it is hard to find all the exact quotes.

When asked if he was a straight A student he said no. He stopped caring when he was in grade 11 and slacked off his senior year.

He sometimes says he applied to ivy league colleges but the only reason he didn't get in was because he isn't rich and isn't a minority. I would suspect the real reason he didn't get into Yale is because he is a moron.

When Phil did go to college, he decided to major in computer science. He claims the teacher was a moron because the class he took required prior knowledge of how to use a computer and he quickly fell behind. His high school didn't teach him how to use a computer. Yes, Phil decided to be a computer science major without knowing how to use a computer. Not his fault.

Let's look at current Phil. He can't math. I don't expect him to know the quadratic equation, but he routinely gets simple addition problems wrong. He can't English. See the Words and Phrases DSP misuses thread for examples. He can't history. Happy D-Day everyone! He can't geography. See his Bully play through. He can't even home economics. He proudly announced to his audience that he learned how to do his own laundry at 35 years old. He can't technology. He has no idea what he is doing on his computer, and the real reason his PC and laptop are severely outdated is because he wouldn't know how to use a new one. He can't mechanical. He didn't know he had to change the oil in his car and he had to take several hours to screw a chair together, plus the exercise bike he put together wrong. The guy is all around dumb.

Now do you think Phil didn't get accepted into Yale because he was white? Or maybe Yale didn't want to waste a scholarship on an idiot who would just flunk out?

 

[actually]

I would suspect the real reason he didn't get into Yale is because he is a moron.

He also had no extracurriculars aside from "playing Street Fighter". Most ivy leagues either want rich parents, legacies, or a person with a veritable Odyssey-worth of extracurriculars.

 

[Forbidden Math]

Phil's educational history is very sketchy which I why I took it upon myself to see if he was really the valedictorian. I was very surprised to find out that he really was.

There are so many Ask the King episodes it is hard to find all the exact quotes.

When asked if he was a straight A student he said no. He stopped caring when he was in grade 11 and slacked off his senior year.

He sometimes says he applied to ivy league colleges but the only reason he didn't get in was because he isn't rich and isn't a minority. I would suspect the real reason he didn't get into Yale is because he is a moron.

When Phil did go to college, he decided to major in computer science. He claims the teacher was a moron because the class he took required prior knowledge of how to use a computer and he quickly fell behind. His high school didn't teach him how to use a computer. Yes, Phil decided to be a computer science major without knowing how to use a computer. Not his fault.

Let's look at current Phil. He can't math. I don't expect him to know the quadratic equation, but he routinely gets simple addition problems wrong. He can't English. See the Words and Phrases DSP misuses thread for examples. He can't history. Happy D-Day everyone! He can't geography. See his Bully play through. He can't even home economics. He proudly announced to his audience that he learned how to do his own laundry at 35 years old. He can't technology. He has no idea what he is doing on his computer, and the real reason his PC and laptop are severely outdated is because he wouldn't know how to use a new one. He can't mechanical. He didn't know he had to change the oil in his car and he had to take several hours to screw a chair together, plus the exercise bike he put together wrong. The guy is all around dumb.

Now do you think Phil didn't get accepted into Yale because he was white? Or maybe Yale didn't want to waste a scholarship on an idiot who would just flunk out?

I had no idea he was a CS major. Can you imagine the code DSP would produce? It wasn't his fault, C++ is a shitty language made by dicks.

 

[ReentryPhantom]

I had no idea he was a CS major. Can you imagine the code DSP would produce? It wasn't his fault, C++ is a shitty language made by dicks.

He switched it to business

 

[Draventren]

I had no idea he was a CS major. Can you imagine the code DSP would produce? It wasn't his fault, C++ is a shitty language made by dicks.

I think he graduated in Fiance. The story I remember wasn't about the class requiring some computer knowledge already (you'd think he'd have some with the lans he was building in his parents basement for games such as Unreal Tournament) but was about one of his teachers not teaching them about computers/coding like he was supposed to.

To me that translates to: I thought the classes would be easier, I didn't understand something so I got mad at a teacher and switched majors to something I could actually do.

You know, in between the animal house lifestyle he lived.

 

[Raven'sChild]

Holy fucking shit.

So, remember how DSP said he'd buy/play Untitled Goose Game which DJRuno1 specifically tipped $20 for yesterday?



Well...he flat out said he isn't going to buy it and that someone has to gift him the credits for the Nintendo shop! Oh my lord.

View attachment 962535

Clip:
View attachment 962543















"I wanted to play Untitled Goose Game, but I can't afford it now. If someone actually gifts me the Nintendo Credits, that's the very first thing I would play. I could play that this weekend and I want to play it this weekend, and I'm pissed of now that I can't, because I was pumped to play it.

So yeah, number one: if anyone was going to go to my Amazon wish list, please consider getting me the Nintendo shop credits. I think it's $15 plus tax, FYI. So please consider that, but yeah, again; I can't afford anything new right now. If anyone gifts credits on PSN or Nintedo shop, that would help out tremendously. Okay?"

Battered housewife DJRuno1's reaction:

View attachment 962557 View attachment 962558

Let's be honest: this is the only way these people could learn - the hard way.

Thanks for the money, dummy!

-edit- Whoops... looks like someone is taking some action:

View attachment 962564

Yeah, this could get spicy. I'll open up a thread about this thing.

'Untitled Goose Game' retcon copied post from Main Thread to archive it here.

 

[Sparkletor]

He also had no extracurriculars aside from "playing Street Fighter". Most ivy leagues either want rich parents, legacies, or a person with a veritable Odyssey-worth of extracurriculars.

This is another area where it is impossible to tell fact from fiction.

Phil sometimes says he had no friends until the summer between Jr and Sr year in high school. This is known as the summer of Mark and Liam.

Other times his story is he had no time for friends until after he graduated because he spent all his time busting his ass getting good grades. He was so busy, he had no time for friends or female companionship. His parents actually went to the principal of the school and complained that that one specific nun gave Phil so much work to do that it was humanly impossible. Boy did that nun get in trouble! Ack ack ack.

Now other times Phil was in chess club. He was in drama and did several musicals including Grease and West Side Story. He volunteered helping the poor. He was in a lot of extracurricular activities! Now there is no proof that any of these things happened. Phil did say that he used to use an old camcorder to videotape drama rehearsals with his friends. This has also been retconned because when asked if there was evidence of his epic valedictorian speech he said people didn't have camcorders back then (in the year 2000).

I had no idea he was a CS major. Can you imagine the code DSP would produce? It wasn't his fault, C++ is a shitty language made by dicks.

Again, coming from various Ask the King episodes and pieced together. Phil would get asked about education or college.

Phil worked his ass off in school because he had always been taught "If you work hard in school, you graduate and go to college and get a job and become rich". His motivation even back then seemed to be money.

"In the late 1990's and early 2000's computers were the new thing!" Phil said he picked computer science because he thought that's where the money was. He had never said exactly what happened, if he failed, just quit, or dropped the class before the cutoff date and switched majors. Phil justified giving up on computers by saying "by then the dot com bubble had burst and there were no jobs in computers any more"

 

[Raven'sChild]

Contrary to earlier reports yesterday, The Martha Steward wax Halloween skull was not recently bought off QVC by his mother as a stream decoration, BUT is a year old decoration his mother no longer wanted, so she mailed it to him. The skull is "a hand-me-down". When mentioned in chat that the skull cost $60, D$P balked saying that even though he had no idea how much it cost as he had not looked it up, he was sure it cost more than a mere $60.

 

[Raven'sChild]

Oooookay. First, Mama Burnell bought the wax skull off of QVC with D$P's stream in mind. Yesterday, the Wax skull was a preexisting Halloween decoration from 2018 that Mama Burnell did not want anymore and so she mailed it D$P. It was " a hand-me-down decoration." Well, today, the wax skull once again was purchased by his parents for use on his stream.

 

[SkippyLongbottom]

Oooookay. First, Mama Burnell bought the wax skull off of QVC with D$P's stream in mind. Yesterday, the Wax skull was a preexisting Halloween decoration from 2018 that Mama Burnell did not want anymore and so she mailed it D$P. It was " a hand-me-down decoration." Well, today, the wax skull once again was purchased by his parents for use on his stream.

The flip-flopping just gives me more assurance that he, himself, bought it.

He's an edgy teenager "wannabe" that still hasn't grown out of it. Darksydephil, emphasis on "Dark". He wore Punisher shirt bullshit, a shitty leather pleather coat, and tried to be that raw unedited open racist dude until he couldn't get away with it. Not to mention that shitty goatee you trope you see on all those evil twin type characters in a lot of media. Wouldn't be surprised if he wore a chain wallet to go with his stupid beanies in the past.

He thought the skull was cool because it was black and a skull.He probably couldn't light a candle so it's perfect for him. He wanted to show it off because he thought it was so cool, then lied that Mama bought it because he knows someone will call him on the bullshit he pulls and how he's still a guy with disposable income, while at the same time holding some shitty auction because he knows his fans are really stupid.

 

[Raven'sChild]

The Wellness Check now has headphone Lore:

DarkDave's Illegal and Noxious Activities Restream

Support the stream: https://streamlabs.com/darkdavesmirror Support the stream with the Brave Browser: https://brave.com/download/ Your Based "S" ranked restream

youtu.be

@11:23
...When I finally went outside, umm, they said 'so let me get this straight, you couldn't hear us,right?' I was like Yeah! They was like 'You had noise isolation headphones on didn't you?' and I said Yeah and the cop was like 'rreal..' Well, he didn't say Real Talk, but he was like 'seriously, good thing you called us ahead of time, because if you hadn't told us that you were a full time YouTuber and/or streamer who had headphones on and stuff we might have thought that you were ignoring us and stuff and thought that somethng seriously bad was going on and we might have kicked your door down and broke the door down.....
Yeah, kind of like the way all those other streamers who got swatted were treated:

The Creatures Get Swatted

While Kootra was streaming CS:GO in the office, some dumbass decided to false call the cops, swat showed up and nearby schools were shut down... Kootra did h...

youtu.be

 

[Sparkletor]

The Wellness Check now has headphone Lore:

DarkDave's Illegal and Noxious Activities Restream

Support the stream: https://streamlabs.com/darkdavesmirror Support the stream with the Brave Browser: https://brave.com/download/ Your Based "S" ranked restream

youtu.be

@11:23
...When I finally went outside, umm, they said 'so let me get this straight, you couldn't hear us,right?' I was like Yeah! They was like 'You had noise isolation headphones on didn't you?' and I said Yeah and the cop was like 'rreal..' Well, he didn't say Real Talk, but he was like 'seriously, good thing you called us ahead of time, because if you hadn't told us that you were a full time YouTuber and/or streamer who had headphones on and stuff we might have thought that you were ignoring us and stuff and thought that somethng seriously bad was going on and we might have kicked your door down and broke the door down.....
Yeah, kind of like the way all those other streamers who got swatted were treated:

The Creatures Get Swatted

While Kootra was streaming CS:GO in the office, some dumbass decided to false call the cops, swat showed up and nearby schools were shut down... Kootra did h...

youtu.be

Strange... Leanna was there the whole time too and she wasn't wearing noise cancelling headphones. She didn't hear the cops either?