Real talk, staying either here or on SA will give you attention, but will make you feel worse. I think SA banned you, right? Because as much as they want (or wanted) to support you, the things you were saying were a liability and people didn't know how to deal with you. And if you post here too much you will get threadbanned - not because Null hates you, but because it will clog the thread up too much. Do a week long Netflix binge or something and don't be extremely online. It will be good for you in the long run.