Inactive Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka - Deadbeat (emphasis on "Dead") founder of Something Awful, forced out of his own community, on his second divorce, stuck his dick in crazy, "Birth Giver"

[Ghostse]

"Malevolent". I think that's a great synonym to use. Malevolent. Every time in the past that the goon hive has opened up to the free world or Lowtax has used a platform other than his own, e.g., social media, and someone has suggested something helpful to the something awful sphere, he's gotten nasty and sarcastic at them. "Hey Rich maybe if your forums were a bit more friendly to people with different opinions, you know, there's some actual communists who moderate them and - " HEY WOW HOLD UP GOOF TROOP LOL THIS IS A COMEDY WEBSITE BACK OFF OKAY HERE'S ME BEING TOTALLY IRONICALLY NOT IRONIC MAD AT YOU FOR SAYING THAT!!!111ONEONEELEVELTWELVEBBQOMG. "Hey Rich, it's great you're pairing with Mike from MST3k and Cinematic Titanic! You should bankroll this and you could - " WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT SIR I'M GOING TO YELL OBSCENITIES ON STREAM AT THE CALM CHRISTIAN DUDE REEEEEEEE I'LL SIC MY ATTORNEY LEONARD "J" CRABS ON YOU LOLOLOLOLOL.

It's like doing .025% of work is such anathema to him he flips out and becomes immediately hostile towards any positive suggestions, he would rather beg for pity money, let the tankies continue to run his forums and siphon money off of bpd wrecks who will willingly pay $90 for a "full access account" (until they step out of line and get banned and then pay it again) than do any work.

This is because he is an addict who currently has enough money for drugs magically appear while doing nothing.
The refusal to do anything to disrupt the "enough money to get high" status-quo is pretty standard among users who have nothing other than drugs going on in their lives.

 

[Trombonista]

Leonard J Crabs

That sounds like one of Roger's personas.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

This is because he is an addict who currently has enough money for drugs magically appear while doing nothing.
The refusal to do anything to disrupt the "enough money to get high" status-quo is pretty standard among users who have nothing other than drugs going on in their lives.

I know the jokes about ambien and wine are rife but every thing I’ve seen for the past five years or more make it pretty obvious he’s got a pill/opiate problem.

The big crumbling spine story is just the final gasp of a addict trying to legitimize an addiction with medical problems and secure more scripts.

His behavior is just typical boring pill head behavior. He’d be a lot more interesting if he was getting drunk everyday.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

One of the signs that someone is deep in an opiate addiction is that pain tolerance plummets. I’m sure he does think his spine is crumbling when he just slept wrong when the ambien fairy visited him last. It’s why him whining about being in constant pain is a sure fire confirmation. He is hoping to angle for sympathy but Lowtax possesses negative levels of self awareness and doesn’t realize that he’s coming off like an addict.

 

[BlueSpark]

The funny part is that his ideas were never that good to begin with. As much as he supposedly hates memes, his ideas were disposable meme humor that was guaranteed to age poorly. His ideas were always stupid and impulsive and it’s not surprising that he ran the boards that way. Even the worst meme crazes held up better than LOL GRANDMA, Doom House, and Leonard J Crabs.

I remember "image macros" being banned at one stage. Whether you love memes or hate them, Lowtax has never been able to read the room properly and capitalise on trends making an early appearance on SA.

Lowtax has actually claimed that he invented and popularised image macros (scroll down to the bottom of the post):

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/something-awful-and-friends.9689/page-455#post-3286139

 

[AnOminous]

Lowtax has actually claimed that he invented and popularised image macros (scroll down to the bottom of the post):

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/something-awful-and-friends.9689/page-455#post-3286139

He also invented being cucked by trannies.

 

[Ghostse]

I know the jokes about ambien and wine are rife but every thing I’ve seen for the past five years or more make it pretty obvious he’s got a pill/opiate problem.

The big crumbling spine story is just the final gasp of a addict trying to legitimize an addiction with medical problems and secure more scripts.

His behavior is just typical boring pill head behavior. He’d be a lot more interesting if he was getting drunk everyday.

Ambien & barefoot is a joke. Him being very obviously addicted to some substance (in addition to feet pics and crazy broads in their 20s) is not.

 

[NavyGuzzler]

I think everyone expected it to be a joke. The modern equivalent would be something like Sargon challenging Null to a fight and Null agreeing because it'd be funny to juke around a delusional old fat guy. Then on the day it turns out Sargon is hustling and has boxing experience and wants to legit punch his critics.

Yeah but Boll's boxing experience was no secret.

I know the jokes about ambien and wine are rife but every thing I’ve seen for the past five years or more make it pretty obvious he’s got a pill/opiate problem.

The big crumbling spine story is just the final gasp of a addict trying to legitimize an addiction with medical problems and secure more scripts.

His behavior is just typical boring pill head behavior. He’d be a lot more interesting if he was getting drunk everyday.

He was into Ambien, Xanax and Adderall before his back started fucking with him. Now, I'm sure he has an opiate problem as well.

I wonder how fucked up his overall health really is. Between decades of drug abuse, no real exercise to speak of, and no regular medical care, I'm thinking his body tore the fuck up.

 

[MirrorNoir]

That's the funniest part of the whole thing-- he could get literally dozens of people who are actually competent to do the backend work on the forums for free, if only he'd ask. He won't, though, because

1. he'd have to admit that he was wrong to pay radium, et. al., tens of thousands of dollars to basically do nothing, and
2. competent people would tell him yet again that the forums software that he's stuck on permanently is a mishmash of 2002 technology and literal tacked-on garbage, and that he needs to blow it all away and start over. (His little pissy fit with Jelsoft sure did pay off, didn't it?)

Hell, IIRC a few years ago a few goons who were at least marginally competent were discussing the forum software problems in a QCS thread and spontaneously started a project to code new forums software from scratch. Of course, like most goon projects, it didn't really go anywhere, but instead of actively encouraging them and then sitting back and letting them do almost all of the work, Lowtax instead dismissed them out of hand and basically told them to fuck off.


The new Callidoody game is another good example of this. Dozens of pages were spent virtue signalling about well, ahkshually, the U.S. committed the war crimes in the games instead of discussing gameplay, awesome stuff that they did, etc. They also have a Discord set up supposedly for the purpose of grouping up to play the game together, but unless you're already friends with a bunch of them you'll sit there for days waiting for someone to invite people to a party.

IIRC (and someone can correct me if I'm mis-remembering) but the chief issue with the forum is that it was built with now long obselete/non-supportive software and that upgrading it is 100% out of the question due to it being built on long out of tech software. And that when it was broached to the forum mods/"elite" posters with connections to the mods and such that upgrading would mean an exodus to a brand new board and how everyone's OG SA forum stats (like the number of posts made by posters, which the SJW horde often use to "win" arguments and lord over newer poster accounts by claiming "higher posting count makes me superior to you in every way") would be reset to zero along with the erasure of the entire archive of posts from the site's lifespan upon until that point? The mods/elite posters basically told Lowtax "fuck no" to starting fresh with brand new forums that are top of the line, because of those two, with the poster stats in particular being something they flat out refused to allow Lowtax to void in order to bring the forums back into the current year. software-wise.

 

[AnOminous]

IIRC (and someone can correct me if I'm mis-remembering) but the chief issue with the forum is that it was built with now long obselete/non-supportive software and that upgrading it is 100% out of the question due to it being built on long out of tech software. And that when it was broached to the forum mods/"elite" posters with connections to the mods and such that upgrading would mean an exodus to a brand new board and how everyone's OG SA forum stats (like the number of posts made by posters, which the SJW horde often use to "win" arguments and lord over newer poster accounts by claiming "higher posting count makes me superior to you in every way") would be reset to zero along with the erasure of the entire archive of posts from the site's lifespan upon until that point? The mods/elite posters basically told Lowtax "fuck no" to starting fresh with brand new forums that are top of the line, because of those two, with the poster stats in particular being something they flat out refused to allow Lowtax to void in order to bring the forums back into the current year. software-wise.

It would require someone actually writing software to extract the entire current database and probably repair it as well from ancient shit like ZDR deliberately breaking it, then software to import it into some new package, probably something like XenForo 2, as well as writing custom modules to imitate as much functionality from the original as they wanted to/could afford to create.

Richard's drug habits blew any of the money that could have done that, but it could have been done, just not by worthless people like goons.

 

[Eddie Bravo]

IIRC (and someone can correct me if I'm mis-remembering) but the chief issue with the forum is that it was built with now long obselete/non-supportive software and that upgrading it is 100% out of the question due to it being built on long out of tech software. And that when it was broached to the forum mods/"elite" posters with connections to the mods and such that upgrading would mean an exodus to a brand new board and how everyone's OG SA forum stats (like the number of posts made by posters, which the SJW horde often use to "win" arguments and lord over newer poster accounts by claiming "higher posting count makes me superior to you in every way") would be reset to zero along with the erasure of the entire archive of posts from the site's lifespan upon until that point? The mods/elite posters basically told Lowtax "fuck no" to starting fresh with brand new forums that are top of the line, because of those two, with the poster stats in particular being something they flat out refused to allow Lowtax to void in order to bring the forums back into the current year. software-wise.

You're not wrong about that. It's been an open secret for years that a lot of mods/admins & "elite" posters would "suggest" a forum exodus if Lowtax talked about fixing the forums, which is why Lowtax has been dragging his feet on unfucking the forums for years.

Lowtax is a supreme cuck admin.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Yeah but Boll's boxing experience was no secret.

He was into Ambien, Xanax and Adderall before his back started fucking with him. Now, I'm sure he has an opiate problem as well.

I wonder how fucked up his overall health really is. Between decades of drug abuse, no real exercise to speak of, and no regular medical care, I'm thinking his body tore the fuck up.

I’d say 90% of his health problems are tied to depression and addiction. His main problems are mental, not physical.

There is a point where there’s no turning back and you actually do start destroying your body (esp if you do stupid shit like eat a bunch of painkillers that have tons of Tylenol in them and destroy your liver) but at his age if he’d get off the pills, force himself to start being physically active and get on a normal sleep schedule he’d probably be alright for another two decades.

He’s only bitched about vague back problems, which is par for the course with addicts. The best thing for back issues (that aren’t the result of physical trauma or degenerative diseases) is physical therapy, not pills, not surgery and absolutely not laying in bed and sitting.

Anyone with back pain (and not a taste for pain pills) will tell you standing and walking is when their back feels best, it’s sitting and laying down that cause the most pain.

Anyway this probably seems like a lot of empty theory but his behavior is so textbook depression/addiction it’s crazy that people are throwing money and him and not insisting he go to rehab.

 

[dreamworks face]

IIRC (and someone can correct me if I'm mis-remembering) but the chief issue with the forum is that it was built with now long obselete/non-supportive software and that upgrading it is 100% out of the question due to it being built on long out of tech software. And that when it was broached to the forum mods/"elite" posters with connections to the mods and such that upgrading would mean an exodus to a brand new board and how everyone's OG SA forum stats (like the number of posts made by posters, which the SJW horde often use to "win" arguments and lord over newer poster accounts by claiming "higher posting count makes me superior to you in every way") would be reset to zero along with the erasure of the entire archive of posts from the site's lifespan upon until that point? The mods/elite posters basically told Lowtax "fuck no" to starting fresh with brand new forums that are top of the line, because of those two, with the poster stats in particular being something they flat out refused to allow Lowtax to void in order to bring the forums back into the current year. software-wise.

It's not just that it was built with an old version of vbulletin, it's that it's been hacked to shit by retards over the course of decades.

Here's a screenshot of some logs from SAVB:


My favorites are the "[warn] you are gay" and "someone has stolen your trees"

 

[Y2K Baby]

He also invented being cucked by trannies.

Even that's more of @Null's thing.

 

[NavyGuzzler]

I’d say 90% of his health problems are tied to depression and addiction. His main problems are mental, not physical.

There is a point where there’s no turning back and you actually do start destroying your body (esp if you do stupid shit like eat a bunch of painkillers that have tons of Tylenol in them and destroy your liver) but at his age if he’d get off the pills, force himself to start being physically active and get on a normal sleep schedule he’d probably be alright for another two decades.

He’s only bitched about vague back problems, which is par for the course with addicts. The best thing for back issues (that aren’t the result of physical trauma or degenerative diseases) is physical therapy, not pills, not surgery and absolutely not laying in bed and sitting.

Anyone with back pain (and not a taste for pain pills) will tell you standing and walking is when their back feels best, it’s sitting and laying down that cause the most pain.

Anyway this probably seems like a lot of empty theory but his behavior is so textbook depression/addiction it’s crazy that people are throwing money and him and not insisting he go to rehab.

I'm not sure 'only bitched about vague back problems" is accurate, nigga had surgery.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

I'm not sure 'only bitched about vague back problems" is accurate, nigga had surgery.

I guess you haven’t visited our munchie thread, huh?

Many doctors will perform surgery for little to no reason if you are insistent about it. If you keep complaining they will keep upping the ante till you are in the OR.

Almost anyone can go to the doctor saying they have terrible back pain and the doctor will manage to find “slipped discs” or other ill defined back issues. Addicts are pretty famous for going through with unneeded procedures and surgeries in order to keep the pain pill scripts flowing.

Lowtax has always been incredibly vague about his back issues, except when claiming his spine was turning to dust - a well known medical phenomenon. Lol.

ETA; Here’s the munchie thread:

Spoiler

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/munchausens-by-internet-malingerers-munchies-spoonies-etc.29936/
Behold dozens of perfectly physically healthy women who manage to get all types of crazy major surgeries, medical devices and feeding tubes all because they like attention and drugs. While not all munchies are drug addicts, a large percentage are.

Men who are addicts tend to stick to the back and shoulder pain stuff and do it solely for the good drugs, not the attention.

 

[Doctor Jizzmopper]

I'm not sure 'only bitched about vague back problems" is accurate, nigga had surgery.

One more step closer to being on disability for the taxman.

 

[Ghostse]

IIRC (and someone can correct me if I'm mis-remembering) but the chief issue with the forum is that it was built with now long obselete/non-supportive software and that upgrading it is 100% out of the question due to it being built on long out of tech software. And that when it was broached to the forum mods/"elite" posters with connections to the mods and such that upgrading would mean an exodus to a brand new board and how everyone's OG SA forum stats (like the number of posts made by posters, which the SJW horde often use to "win" arguments and lord over newer poster accounts by claiming "higher posting count makes me superior to you in every way") would be reset to zero along with the erasure of the entire archive of posts from the site's lifespan upon until that point? The mods/elite posters basically told Lowtax "fuck no" to starting fresh with brand new forums that are top of the line, because of those two, with the poster stats in particular being something they flat out refused to allow Lowtax to void in order to bring the forums back into the current year. software-wise.

I don't think Lowtax has been held hostage by his star posters so much as he understands that if he makes ANY change to SA, it will upset his population of caged tranny autists and they will leave and not come back. SA is floating by on inertia, you give people a reason to stop coming, they'll stop and new people aren't really showing up to take their place. Doubly so if you destroy stats & post histories, because at that point there is nothing separating Something Awful from an offsite, except there's a chance the offsite isn't moderated by pedophiles.

The real issue is that SA is HEAVILY modified phpBB code with all sorts of custom shit done by retarded goons who weren't thinking abou things like "readability" and "maintainability" as those are things are for faggots. So you have this barely stable edgelord code that is already pretty much pushed to its limit. You're trying to update or modify it, but because of all the bolted-on custom shit the database tables don't even line up with what you're expecting from phpBB.
And as its from the 2000s, there is no 'test' or 'stage' environment, its all production baby. And see previous points about SA being a habit not a destination at this point.

 

[Humble Shitpost Merchant]

At this point though, he doesn't need the troons. The troons despise his problematic ass already, they just tolerate him because they need his hugbox. They're certainly not the ones donating to his Patreon. And he's got more than sufficient income from that Patreon, so if he wants to keep it that way he needs to figure out how to satisfy his donors, specifically, and nobody else. He's not really doing that though, which is why the money continues to keep dropping.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

At this point though, he doesn't need the troons. The troons despise his problematic ass already, they just tolerate him because they need his hugbox. They're certainly not the ones donating to his Patreon. And he's got more than sufficient income from that Patreon, so if he wants to keep it that way he needs to figure out how to satisfy his donors, specifically, and nobody else. He's not really doing that though, which is why the money continues to keep dropping.

His Patreon was doing awful until he begged for money to pay his medical bills. People aren’t donating because they find his content compelling, they do it because they want to keep SA open. If SA is so fucked that Richard has to start from scratch, that will likely piss off not only the tranny hordes who have their designated safe spaces but also the FYAD snowflakes who spent the better part of 20 years cultivating their negative post counts.

Richard, his forum, and his user base are all broken losers and that’s the way they want to keep it.