- Joined
- Jul 5, 2022
Let's Sperg Rimworld: The Patrick Tomlinson Simulator - One Pig, One Meat Grinder, One Million sTalker Childs
- Thread starter AngeloTheWizard
- Start date
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2016
Hoo boy. I'd like to point out I have inflated Rimworld's file size from about half a gig to 5 gigs based solely on mods. I'll focus on the big ones, but a full list would take all day.
For starters, if it's anything marked "Vanilla Expanded", I probably have it. That includes Vanilla Vehicles Expanded which will allow me to build Susan. The Phytokin girl also comes from this series of mods.
Also on offer is RimWar, which causes factions to expand, send various parties, etc. I technically have a win condition where I can eliminate one particular faction and win the game, but I'm not pursuing that.
Hospitality is another big mod, it expands various visitors, giving them larger inventories, allowing me to entertain them and recruit them if I do well. However, everyone's opinion of Patrick starts at -40, slightly more than the -50 that prisoners have towards their wardens, so this is proving a difficult avenue for recruitment.
They haven't come up yet, but I'm also rocking A Rimworld of Magic, along with a bunch of add-ons for it to add extra classes. I could do an entire playthrough themed around Final Fantasy characters if I wanted.
A lot of mods increase my weapon choices, apparel, other items, animals (dinosaurs included!), and more. I try to point them out as they come up but there's a lot that works in the background, or just won't come up due to us being in a Boreal Forest, so all my expanded jungle and tropical monsters or Alpha Biomes (alien seeming places) just simply don't show.
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2016
Here we go again, though it feels difficult to continue without Bossman. Also our refugee left, so we only have three mouths to feed instead of four.
But we have the option to take on another. Sure, why not, he can fish.
The shuttle comes to collect Tubby the Sheep. Patrick responds by saying he is not tubby and will not get in the shuttle, but luckily Blackthorn is smart enough to toss the sheep in and send it off. What? The sheep's padded.
Oh Randy, you asshole. We're getting a Black Hive attack, which is just great. There's only a few, but Anarchist takes a huge bite to the neck early. Diablo takes several wounds holding off multiple insectoids, meanwhile Anarchist lays killing blows on both the scarab and the megalouse. Patrick gets the last shot on the remaining insect. Both of our melee fighters need help, Diablo has been knocked out due to pain. Patrick and Blackthorn get to work patching them up, but without medicine, treatment is slow and not quite great. Anarchist has had his right eye torn out, hopefully we can get him a replacement.
Diablo gets an infection in his foot, which may kill him. We'll see how it goes, since again, no real medicine to tend with. He seems to have a pretty fast immunity gain rate, and when Blackthorn's "Preach Health" is off cooldown, we can use that as well to save him.
While we're still recovering, Randy sends another raid, because Randy. This one is an Impid with a bow. I hate these guys. They can breathe fire. His bow means he stays far away enough that he doesn't, and the dickhead is a decent shot, giving Patrick several arrow wounds and forcing me to swap in Blackthorn with her Laser Minigun before we kill him.
By the way, I've had a Laser Minigun the whole time. Thanks, "realistic" ruins (the name of the mod that spawned it)!
Diablo got over his infection in the meantime, but is so hungry he is now wandering in a daze. In fact there's a bit of a spiral of mood breaks, but most are swiftly calmed down, and it's all Hide In Room type stuff.
A Garulean Tree sprouts and we plant and connect to it with Blackthorn, our literal plant person. Garulean Trees can provide many benefits, but as we continue to have problems with it I got one request: Berrymaker. They take a couple weeks to get going but once they do, 40 berries every few days from each. That means 4 meals, which, when added to our fishing and growing, should be quite a good amount of food.
A Merchant Caravan finally makes it to us, through the pollution and the frost. They're an Armorsmith, which means they sell, well, armor. They also sell clothing. None of it is what we want, and they won't buy any of our stuff, so this is kind of a wash.
Now, because crazy things happen: We had a transport pod crash, however, the only injuries to the pig that crashed were bruises and an inability to walk. Being nice, we rescue them-and they decide to join us. Deciding I don't want to deal with that, I get a golden opportunity as a local dinosaur attacks our second, not as good refugee. The dino is incredibly powerful and doesn't die to a pump action, however, killing both our refugee and our rescued pig. Anarchist nearly gets both legs bitten off. All this happens as we get visitors to the colony. "It is terrible, there are bodies everywhere." But on the bright side, you can see Patrick's room is now fully floored!
So we get a new colonist. Are we just feeding colonists to dinosaurs here, you decide. This new one is being chased by Aurora Slyphs, which are noted to be fragile. So I think we have a good chance of saving her. And we do, we take some small lumps, but overall, we win the fight.
With that out of the way, we have some extra rooms built. We shall now begin the process of making sausage, with a new research bench and Salt Preservation being the research topic. Patrick can't wait to put his 1.7 GPA to good use...
But we have the option to take on another. Sure, why not, he can fish.
The shuttle comes to collect Tubby the Sheep. Patrick responds by saying he is not tubby and will not get in the shuttle, but luckily Blackthorn is smart enough to toss the sheep in and send it off. What? The sheep's padded.
Oh Randy, you asshole. We're getting a Black Hive attack, which is just great. There's only a few, but Anarchist takes a huge bite to the neck early. Diablo takes several wounds holding off multiple insectoids, meanwhile Anarchist lays killing blows on both the scarab and the megalouse. Patrick gets the last shot on the remaining insect. Both of our melee fighters need help, Diablo has been knocked out due to pain. Patrick and Blackthorn get to work patching them up, but without medicine, treatment is slow and not quite great. Anarchist has had his right eye torn out, hopefully we can get him a replacement.
Diablo gets an infection in his foot, which may kill him. We'll see how it goes, since again, no real medicine to tend with. He seems to have a pretty fast immunity gain rate, and when Blackthorn's "Preach Health" is off cooldown, we can use that as well to save him.
While we're still recovering, Randy sends another raid, because Randy. This one is an Impid with a bow. I hate these guys. They can breathe fire. His bow means he stays far away enough that he doesn't, and the dickhead is a decent shot, giving Patrick several arrow wounds and forcing me to swap in Blackthorn with her Laser Minigun before we kill him.
By the way, I've had a Laser Minigun the whole time. Thanks, "realistic" ruins (the name of the mod that spawned it)!
Diablo got over his infection in the meantime, but is so hungry he is now wandering in a daze. In fact there's a bit of a spiral of mood breaks, but most are swiftly calmed down, and it's all Hide In Room type stuff.
A Garulean Tree sprouts and we plant and connect to it with Blackthorn, our literal plant person. Garulean Trees can provide many benefits, but as we continue to have problems with it I got one request: Berrymaker. They take a couple weeks to get going but once they do, 40 berries every few days from each. That means 4 meals, which, when added to our fishing and growing, should be quite a good amount of food.
A Merchant Caravan finally makes it to us, through the pollution and the frost. They're an Armorsmith, which means they sell, well, armor. They also sell clothing. None of it is what we want, and they won't buy any of our stuff, so this is kind of a wash.
Now, because crazy things happen: We had a transport pod crash, however, the only injuries to the pig that crashed were bruises and an inability to walk. Being nice, we rescue them-and they decide to join us. Deciding I don't want to deal with that, I get a golden opportunity as a local dinosaur attacks our second, not as good refugee. The dino is incredibly powerful and doesn't die to a pump action, however, killing both our refugee and our rescued pig. Anarchist nearly gets both legs bitten off. All this happens as we get visitors to the colony. "It is terrible, there are bodies everywhere." But on the bright side, you can see Patrick's room is now fully floored!
So we get a new colonist. Are we just feeding colonists to dinosaurs here, you decide. This new one is being chased by Aurora Slyphs, which are noted to be fragile. So I think we have a good chance of saving her. And we do, we take some small lumps, but overall, we win the fight.
With that out of the way, we have some extra rooms built. We shall now begin the process of making sausage, with a new research bench and Salt Preservation being the research topic. Patrick can't wait to put his 1.7 GPA to good use...
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2022
You're foreshadowing what Null's gonna say on MATI after Bossmanjack expires
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2016
It would seem that Patrick is too fat for Steam Deck, as Rimworld is not quite able to load his incredible girth (really I just messed up my mod config, but this is a funnier explanation).
As our newest colonists likes to raid, I decide to dispatch her and Blackthorn to a nearby component mining site. This may actually work against me as it'll mean that all the Dryads from the tree will die, but that is a sacrifice I'll have to make. Patrick won't go raiding, he's too cowardly (not a game mechanic, just me being judgmental) and Anarchist is still healing. Two guns oughta kill two people though.
We definitely need those components as the generator breaks, and I don't have any on me, nor the power to make more. Luckily, turning off the electric smelter is enough to keep us going for now.
Just as we start running low on food again, a "skiphound" attacks us. These guys can teleport around, but have no Manhunter chance when attacked, so a few gunshots scare it off. Checking the wildlife tab, I see another dino about to bleed out from fighting with its prey, so that'll provide a boost as we wait for the next rice harvest.
Our raiders make it to the work camp, and find it only contains a couple of melee armed peasants. One has a torch. After blasting him with a laser minigun, the other one wisely flees, letting us have the valuable components. There's also an easily harvested Bearberry bush next to the camp, so we grab them and go on to another nearby hunting camp, which has extra food that our colony can use.
If I may soapbox a moment, Gitta's ideology is stupid. It's both City Builders and Raider, so they don't like leaving the colony, but need to leave so they can raid. It's very dumb.
Due to our work for the Empire, we can have Patrick and Anarchist become Yeoman, so everyone can shout "Yo, Man!" at them. We'll do it in the spring, we have a festival to do at the end of winter, the "Absolute Julay" and I don't want our time taken up by too many parties. Plus, if our other people are back, we can get a little extra honor with more spectators.
Patrick is blessed by Rimworld and has been learning things with research, such as you put salt on MEAT, not salt the EARTH, you stupid pig. This is a boon both to our harvests and to our eventual meat production, but he's still taking some time to figure it out.
In honor of the newest insult Pat's been called in the thread, I decide to switch the greenhouse from the fast growing rice to slower but more yielding corn, because Patrick is an utter cornball. For some reason he takes it on himself to harvest and plant new...right, I put his Grow priority at 1 when he was all alone.
A pig shows up in a transport pod to raid us. However he lands on a roaming traveller, and gets his ass soundly kicked.
The second, better camp has a turret parked behind a wall. This allows us to fight the campers, and then cut the power by deconstructing the power supplies. More components!
We end today with the Absolute Julay, in which Pat insists on speaking about how some random gambling son of a bitch stole his title for Lolcow of the Year. The other colonists just sort of smile and wave. This results in an expectedly terrible Julay, and everyone comes away feeling miserable.
But, we made it through the first winter, and with that done, the sky is the limit. Tune in next time as we finish research on Salt Preservation and get to work making pepperoni...
As our newest colonists likes to raid, I decide to dispatch her and Blackthorn to a nearby component mining site. This may actually work against me as it'll mean that all the Dryads from the tree will die, but that is a sacrifice I'll have to make. Patrick won't go raiding, he's too cowardly (not a game mechanic, just me being judgmental) and Anarchist is still healing. Two guns oughta kill two people though.
We definitely need those components as the generator breaks, and I don't have any on me, nor the power to make more. Luckily, turning off the electric smelter is enough to keep us going for now.
Just as we start running low on food again, a "skiphound" attacks us. These guys can teleport around, but have no Manhunter chance when attacked, so a few gunshots scare it off. Checking the wildlife tab, I see another dino about to bleed out from fighting with its prey, so that'll provide a boost as we wait for the next rice harvest.
Our raiders make it to the work camp, and find it only contains a couple of melee armed peasants. One has a torch. After blasting him with a laser minigun, the other one wisely flees, letting us have the valuable components. There's also an easily harvested Bearberry bush next to the camp, so we grab them and go on to another nearby hunting camp, which has extra food that our colony can use.
If I may soapbox a moment, Gitta's ideology is stupid. It's both City Builders and Raider, so they don't like leaving the colony, but need to leave so they can raid. It's very dumb.
Due to our work for the Empire, we can have Patrick and Anarchist become Yeoman, so everyone can shout "Yo, Man!" at them. We'll do it in the spring, we have a festival to do at the end of winter, the "Absolute Julay" and I don't want our time taken up by too many parties. Plus, if our other people are back, we can get a little extra honor with more spectators.
Patrick is blessed by Rimworld and has been learning things with research, such as you put salt on MEAT, not salt the EARTH, you stupid pig. This is a boon both to our harvests and to our eventual meat production, but he's still taking some time to figure it out.
In honor of the newest insult Pat's been called in the thread, I decide to switch the greenhouse from the fast growing rice to slower but more yielding corn, because Patrick is an utter cornball. For some reason he takes it on himself to harvest and plant new...right, I put his Grow priority at 1 when he was all alone.
A pig shows up in a transport pod to raid us. However he lands on a roaming traveller, and gets his ass soundly kicked.
The second, better camp has a turret parked behind a wall. This allows us to fight the campers, and then cut the power by deconstructing the power supplies. More components!
We end today with the Absolute Julay, in which Pat insists on speaking about how some random gambling son of a bitch stole his title for Lolcow of the Year. The other colonists just sort of smile and wave. This results in an expectedly terrible Julay, and everyone comes away feeling miserable.
But, we made it through the first winter, and with that done, the sky is the limit. Tune in next time as we finish research on Salt Preservation and get to work making pepperoni...
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2016
So when last we left off, things were basically a trash fire. Multiple deaths, a shitty party, you get the idea. And to top it all off, I forgot to mention we had a mouse go crazy before I ended the show last week. So suffice to say, things are not going too well.
But, we have food, we have electricity, and we have expansion plans. Let's keep going.
In light of our phytokin being a female misogynist, I have renamed her to the reigning queen of the Beauty Parlor, Pixyteri. No one can hate women more than one who's desperately trying to not be one. If anyone knows any good female cows that hate animals, I'm taking suggestions for our fourth colonist, currently named Gitta, who is a noted animal hater.
Salt Preservation gets completed, and now we must research the first step in vehicle manufacture: Biofuel refining. Makes sense I guess, gonna need gas.
Here's how sausage works: First, you need salt. This is done by extracting it at the stone cutter table from rock chunks, of which we have many, but I specifically tell it to ignore Marble chunks (marble is pretty. Then, you make sausages at the butcher table using salt, meat, and a little leather (I guess to indicate the "casing"). Finally they're hung at a sausage post, which needs to be kept between -1 and 23 degrees Celsius, so I decide to double up and put a post in the greenhouse outside.
You may notice that someone has applied the Fallout 3 filter to the game world. That's because we're close to a polluted area, so we get Acidic Smog-I think I mentioned that in the opening of the second better attempt. This will last for a while and is annoying, but not too damaging, though our outside crops won't like it. Luckily, we haven't started growing them yet. Speaking of polluted areas, we did get a quest so save someone on the other side of the pollution, but I'm not in any mood to send my people out that far.
A researcher decides to pass by, and is instantly killed by a wandering fox girl. This at least allows us to knick all his stuff, and turn him into sausage.
Speaking of turning people into sausage, raiders seem to have a love for smashing through the roofs of people's bedrooms. He is instantly killed by axes, shotgun shells, and lasers.
Our delicious niggeroni sausages will take time to properly age. Fatrick won't be satisfied with anything but the best.
We get a quest to fight some meadow aves (basically, Chocobos) for some rewards. I see the Vanometric Power Cell, and well, long and short, Vanometric Power Cells = Power, forever. Very, VERY useful.
The actual battle goes reasonably well. One of the chocobos gets taken out before they can get close, but the other two manage to get in and deal out enough damage to KO Anarchist, leaving Pixy and Gitta with huge wounds as well. Patrick, true to form, stayed in the back and didn't take any damage. However, this leads to infections in both Anarchist and Pixyteri, which means it's mostly going to be up to Patrick and Gitta to handle things. Oh boy.
Also, our corn got hit with blight, so I cannot instruct you gentlemen to behold corn for at least a little while longer.
A Cowgirl crashlands nearby, however, all her wounds are painful but not life threatening. Since I already have too much going on, I leave her be. Pixy's having enough trouble converting Gitta to the cause of eating everything including other humans.
Also, it turns out the temp got a little too hot for the sausages. I realize I will need a room with proper AC, so time for a new plan.
In the middle of all this, a new person named Steroid shows up. His nickname is ironic, as he is squeamish and wimpy. However, he blows Patrick out of the fucking water on Intellectual, so congratulations, you're now our head researcher.
The new plan for sausages is a mite overkill, but I don't have anything better. Separate room, with a cooler and a heater, each set to 11C. My intent is they'll fight each other enough to stay in the sweet spot. Also, all those squares on the left are the size of a Geothermal Generator, which is planned for eventually.
Some days go by, traders and visitors come, and now, we return to a new Summer. Come back next time for temple building and sausage making, and potentially, the beginning of Susan...
But, we have food, we have electricity, and we have expansion plans. Let's keep going.
In light of our phytokin being a female misogynist, I have renamed her to the reigning queen of the Beauty Parlor, Pixyteri. No one can hate women more than one who's desperately trying to not be one. If anyone knows any good female cows that hate animals, I'm taking suggestions for our fourth colonist, currently named Gitta, who is a noted animal hater.
Salt Preservation gets completed, and now we must research the first step in vehicle manufacture: Biofuel refining. Makes sense I guess, gonna need gas.
Here's how sausage works: First, you need salt. This is done by extracting it at the stone cutter table from rock chunks, of which we have many, but I specifically tell it to ignore Marble chunks (marble is pretty. Then, you make sausages at the butcher table using salt, meat, and a little leather (I guess to indicate the "casing"). Finally they're hung at a sausage post, which needs to be kept between -1 and 23 degrees Celsius, so I decide to double up and put a post in the greenhouse outside.
You may notice that someone has applied the Fallout 3 filter to the game world. That's because we're close to a polluted area, so we get Acidic Smog-I think I mentioned that in the opening of the second better attempt. This will last for a while and is annoying, but not too damaging, though our outside crops won't like it. Luckily, we haven't started growing them yet. Speaking of polluted areas, we did get a quest so save someone on the other side of the pollution, but I'm not in any mood to send my people out that far.
A researcher decides to pass by, and is instantly killed by a wandering fox girl. This at least allows us to knick all his stuff, and turn him into sausage.
Speaking of turning people into sausage, raiders seem to have a love for smashing through the roofs of people's bedrooms. He is instantly killed by axes, shotgun shells, and lasers.
Our delicious niggeroni sausages will take time to properly age. Fatrick won't be satisfied with anything but the best.
We get a quest to fight some meadow aves (basically, Chocobos) for some rewards. I see the Vanometric Power Cell, and well, long and short, Vanometric Power Cells = Power, forever. Very, VERY useful.
The actual battle goes reasonably well. One of the chocobos gets taken out before they can get close, but the other two manage to get in and deal out enough damage to KO Anarchist, leaving Pixy and Gitta with huge wounds as well. Patrick, true to form, stayed in the back and didn't take any damage. However, this leads to infections in both Anarchist and Pixyteri, which means it's mostly going to be up to Patrick and Gitta to handle things. Oh boy.
Also, our corn got hit with blight, so I cannot instruct you gentlemen to behold corn for at least a little while longer.
A Cowgirl crashlands nearby, however, all her wounds are painful but not life threatening. Since I already have too much going on, I leave her be. Pixy's having enough trouble converting Gitta to the cause of eating everything including other humans.
Also, it turns out the temp got a little too hot for the sausages. I realize I will need a room with proper AC, so time for a new plan.
In the middle of all this, a new person named Steroid shows up. His nickname is ironic, as he is squeamish and wimpy. However, he blows Patrick out of the fucking water on Intellectual, so congratulations, you're now our head researcher.
The new plan for sausages is a mite overkill, but I don't have anything better. Separate room, with a cooler and a heater, each set to 11C. My intent is they'll fight each other enough to stay in the sweet spot. Also, all those squares on the left are the size of a Geothermal Generator, which is planned for eventually.
Some days go by, traders and visitors come, and now, we return to a new Summer. Come back next time for temple building and sausage making, and potentially, the beginning of Susan...
Attachments
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2016
Here we are again in the summer. I've been meaning to build a grand impressive temple for rituals, so here we go.
We are greeted instantly by two things. One, Anarchist and Pixyteri both get the Flu. Two...
This horseshit. Four yetis, all melee, but still, four tough bastards. I dunno if the calculations are off due to the caravan and some guests being here, but here we go, needing to fight them off with less people.
Shotguns, it turns out, are awesome, and Anarchist secretly managed to beat one of them enough to make them capturable. Said target has a 20 in Animals! He's worth it.
If this wasn't enough, Steroid turns out to be a traitor. Unfortunately, he decided to do that in the middle of other people with guns. He does manage to kill Gitta (so no need for a name for her), and this only excacerbates the problem with my rice field being the fuck on fire. The saving grace is that soft rains come, and while there is thunder with it, it helps immensely.
To compound the fucking issue, we get an insectoid attack AND a demand for protection money. Patrick has had enough and tells them their lives are already over, stalker. Luckily we manage to fend off the black hive with some effort.
We have the Dance of the Pigs on the 3rd. Patrick does not attend, and because of this, the Dance is Unforgettable, which gives us a new colonist, a child named Bargiacchi. He is a fisherman, and a rebel, so I guess we'll stick him on fishing duty...
The season then starts to pass uneventfully. Prisoner mechanics are pretty simple-you put them in a room, you feed them, and get to choose how to interact. Since we want him to join, we start with "Convert", to twist and brainwash him into accepting the Pigman Creed. Then we'll recruit, which is another break them by talking bit. Pixy and Bargi take the lead on this one since Pat can't talk to anyone without it being a hostage negotiation in spirit.
Every ideology has relics. For the Pigmen, I decided to make it a book called "A Christmas Carnage". We will unlock quests that will slowly lead us to where it is located, which will happen to be nearby.
Speaking of ideology...
I have been holding off on this. I elected to have a "God-Emperor" tenet, and in this case, the God Emperor is the Emperor Pig himself, Patrick. He wears a coat of the stalker children he has slain, and his word will be law here in The Half Hovel.
Something I find hilarious is that when Patrick walks into the temple, it becomes a "Sty", only when he's in there. It's official, Rimworld is now a Patposter. With no significant events after that, we bring this season of Rimworld to a close, join us next time for Fall of Year 2!
We are greeted instantly by two things. One, Anarchist and Pixyteri both get the Flu. Two...
This horseshit. Four yetis, all melee, but still, four tough bastards. I dunno if the calculations are off due to the caravan and some guests being here, but here we go, needing to fight them off with less people.
Shotguns, it turns out, are awesome, and Anarchist secretly managed to beat one of them enough to make them capturable. Said target has a 20 in Animals! He's worth it.
If this wasn't enough, Steroid turns out to be a traitor. Unfortunately, he decided to do that in the middle of other people with guns. He does manage to kill Gitta (so no need for a name for her), and this only excacerbates the problem with my rice field being the fuck on fire. The saving grace is that soft rains come, and while there is thunder with it, it helps immensely.
To compound the fucking issue, we get an insectoid attack AND a demand for protection money. Patrick has had enough and tells them their lives are already over, stalker. Luckily we manage to fend off the black hive with some effort.
We have the Dance of the Pigs on the 3rd. Patrick does not attend, and because of this, the Dance is Unforgettable, which gives us a new colonist, a child named Bargiacchi. He is a fisherman, and a rebel, so I guess we'll stick him on fishing duty...
The season then starts to pass uneventfully. Prisoner mechanics are pretty simple-you put them in a room, you feed them, and get to choose how to interact. Since we want him to join, we start with "Convert", to twist and brainwash him into accepting the Pigman Creed. Then we'll recruit, which is another break them by talking bit. Pixy and Bargi take the lead on this one since Pat can't talk to anyone without it being a hostage negotiation in spirit.
Every ideology has relics. For the Pigmen, I decided to make it a book called "A Christmas Carnage". We will unlock quests that will slowly lead us to where it is located, which will happen to be nearby.
Speaking of ideology...
I have been holding off on this. I elected to have a "God-Emperor" tenet, and in this case, the God Emperor is the Emperor Pig himself, Patrick. He wears a coat of the stalker children he has slain, and his word will be law here in The Half Hovel.
Something I find hilarious is that when Patrick walks into the temple, it becomes a "Sty", only when he's in there. It's official, Rimworld is now a Patposter. With no significant events after that, we bring this season of Rimworld to a close, join us next time for Fall of Year 2!
Attachments
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2016
Welcome back to Fall. When we last left off, we built a Sty/Temple. Also on the docket, a Throne Room for our newly ascended God-Pig Emperor.
In the meantime, a spacecraft can be made to land to give us some information about the book: A Christmas Carnage. we will be attacked constantly, of course, but hey...not my problem, really. The first raid is a real pain to deal with, the one raider refuses to die and manages to knock Bakya, our yeti, out. And do a lot of damage to Pixy and Anarchist. Luckily, Pat got to 300 out of 750 hack progress, so this shouldn't take much longer.
The second raider cracks open one of the ancient dangers inside this map, and reveals a small squad of mechanoids. How...wonderful.
What I did not predict was the mechanoids being rather chill about the whole affair, and also the raider managing to kill one with a stick. The third raider fares even better, taking out 3 of the 4 remaining mechanoids, easy when they don't fight back. He leaves after we finish the hack and the spacedrone explodes, so there's that.
We get another quest to build a small monument, 5x3 in size. The reward I choose is some sapphires. A good return on investment, a small amount of time building for about 300 silver in goods.
We are also asked if we would be kind enough to help a stalker child enjoy prison. Obviously we accept-after building a quick prison cell, of course.
In the meantime, Bakya manages to tame a couple dryads, which should give us some very nice wool and milk later on. Again, we take suggestions for names, and unlike with Gitta, these ones hopefully won't die so fast that it becomes redundant!
A transport pod crashes, bringing a dragon called Jacob. We rescue and heal him, and he decides to leave. Damn...I like dragons.
A pair of refugees ask us to host them for a while. Unlike in America, refugees in Rimworld actually leave after some time and work for you as well. They are put to work hauling and cleaning for us, which is always good. They'll leave after 12 days, which is about the 4th of Winter from here.
We finish researching Basic Vehicles, meaning we can now start attempting to build Susan. We don't have the steel or components to make the bench, but luckily, there is a lot of dilapidated machinery nearby we can deconstruct for said pieces...
As soon as we get the pieces in place for the garage bench, and because I can never have anything good ever, the refugees betray us. Without a plan, however, they end up beaten and axed to death by the colony. Due to this, Patrick will refuse the next refugees requesting aid. Clementine will remmeber this.
The actual child Bargiacchi is all grown up now. He gains the trait of Green Thumb in his growth moment (when kids hit certain ages, they have a growth moment. They can pick one trait from a selection, and if they got enough education, they can also pick an interest). He can grow any plant regardless of skill level and wants some plants in his room. We kill two birds with one stone, and three actually, having him plant Healroot in his room.
Susan's construction starts. We basically have to build the pieces, then make her as if it's a construction, similar to tables and such. We will need a LOT of components to pull this off. Sadly, there is no easy to find component mining camp nearby. We may have to learn how to make them ourselves...
The first snows of Year 2 begin to fall. Some guests arrive and we are indeed able to trade some sausage for money, therefore we are now beginning to achieve our first objective. For animals, we have 4 Satyrs (male) and 4 Dryads (female), all dryads are also pregnant. Names appreciated!
In the meantime, a spacecraft can be made to land to give us some information about the book: A Christmas Carnage. we will be attacked constantly, of course, but hey...not my problem, really. The first raid is a real pain to deal with, the one raider refuses to die and manages to knock Bakya, our yeti, out. And do a lot of damage to Pixy and Anarchist. Luckily, Pat got to 300 out of 750 hack progress, so this shouldn't take much longer.
The second raider cracks open one of the ancient dangers inside this map, and reveals a small squad of mechanoids. How...wonderful.
What I did not predict was the mechanoids being rather chill about the whole affair, and also the raider managing to kill one with a stick. The third raider fares even better, taking out 3 of the 4 remaining mechanoids, easy when they don't fight back. He leaves after we finish the hack and the spacedrone explodes, so there's that.
We get another quest to build a small monument, 5x3 in size. The reward I choose is some sapphires. A good return on investment, a small amount of time building for about 300 silver in goods.
We are also asked if we would be kind enough to help a stalker child enjoy prison. Obviously we accept-after building a quick prison cell, of course.
In the meantime, Bakya manages to tame a couple dryads, which should give us some very nice wool and milk later on. Again, we take suggestions for names, and unlike with Gitta, these ones hopefully won't die so fast that it becomes redundant!
A transport pod crashes, bringing a dragon called Jacob. We rescue and heal him, and he decides to leave. Damn...I like dragons.
A pair of refugees ask us to host them for a while. Unlike in America, refugees in Rimworld actually leave after some time and work for you as well. They are put to work hauling and cleaning for us, which is always good. They'll leave after 12 days, which is about the 4th of Winter from here.
We finish researching Basic Vehicles, meaning we can now start attempting to build Susan. We don't have the steel or components to make the bench, but luckily, there is a lot of dilapidated machinery nearby we can deconstruct for said pieces...
As soon as we get the pieces in place for the garage bench, and because I can never have anything good ever, the refugees betray us. Without a plan, however, they end up beaten and axed to death by the colony. Due to this, Patrick will refuse the next refugees requesting aid. Clementine will remmeber this.
The actual child Bargiacchi is all grown up now. He gains the trait of Green Thumb in his growth moment (when kids hit certain ages, they have a growth moment. They can pick one trait from a selection, and if they got enough education, they can also pick an interest). He can grow any plant regardless of skill level and wants some plants in his room. We kill two birds with one stone, and three actually, having him plant Healroot in his room.
Susan's construction starts. We basically have to build the pieces, then make her as if it's a construction, similar to tables and such. We will need a LOT of components to pull this off. Sadly, there is no easy to find component mining camp nearby. We may have to learn how to make them ourselves...
The first snows of Year 2 begin to fall. Some guests arrive and we are indeed able to trade some sausage for money, therefore we are now beginning to achieve our first objective. For animals, we have 4 Satyrs (male) and 4 Dryads (female), all dryads are also pregnant. Names appreciated!
Attachments
- Joined
- May 14, 2019
I don't know what a Rimworld is, every time I see/hear it explained to me my attention flips off like a circuit breaker, but every time I see this title I always misread it as Rimjob.
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2016
Well, they do use that for the name of the lewd mods (RimJobWorld). I'm not using those for this run because the idea of Patrick jerking off in his room makes me dry heave, let along actually seeing it.
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2016
Welcome back, Patposters. It is time for our second Winter. Fatrick is hard at work flooring his new throne room. Not much happens early in Winter, but we do reorganize the food freezer by building some storage units from the Deep Storage Expanded mod.
It goes to show just how efficiently the food problem is solved.
A noble decides they want to visit us for 6 days. Luckily, we're able to instantly build a decent bedroom for them, including a Masterwork bed by Fatrick. We also get several guards we can use, so any fighting is going to be easy. However, the fuckers refuse to do anything BUT fight, so we're stuck feeding them and getting no work out of them.
An art patron shows up and I decided to buy a few things and also sell some spare things, and animals. We don't need as many male dryads so off with yee! Be traded for gold and pottery!
Finally, we get some action in the middle of the season. I was starting to think Randy had lost his touch. Several rats go down easy to fast gunshots, one manages to get inside and is swiftly dealt with by Anarchist and his mighty axe. This leaves us with lots of meat which is good as I just traded away all our raw sausage for money.
We detect a Component Mining Site guarded by two people. Immediately, I decide to dispatch our yeti, Anarchist, and Bargi because we need to build Susan!
We get another set of guests, and one of them is a Turian named She-Venom. Marvel's wokeness has infected Rimworld, all is lost.
The component site is in the middle of a mountain. I decide to make use of my Yeti's racial ability and convince the TImber Wolf to attack for me. It doesn't go well, and they actually put up a solid fight with a drill arm and a guy who knows how to disarm melee fighters. But in the end, we are successful and also deconstruct their Solar Panel for some extra components. Susan is going to be built soon...
This month has been a bit quiet. We end with...another Terrible Julay, that ends with Bargi deciding a tantrum and smashing a bunch of stuff is a good idea. We'll deal with him next time, as we slowly bring Susan to completion.
It goes to show just how efficiently the food problem is solved.
A noble decides they want to visit us for 6 days. Luckily, we're able to instantly build a decent bedroom for them, including a Masterwork bed by Fatrick. We also get several guards we can use, so any fighting is going to be easy. However, the fuckers refuse to do anything BUT fight, so we're stuck feeding them and getting no work out of them.
An art patron shows up and I decided to buy a few things and also sell some spare things, and animals. We don't need as many male dryads so off with yee! Be traded for gold and pottery!
Finally, we get some action in the middle of the season. I was starting to think Randy had lost his touch. Several rats go down easy to fast gunshots, one manages to get inside and is swiftly dealt with by Anarchist and his mighty axe. This leaves us with lots of meat which is good as I just traded away all our raw sausage for money.
We detect a Component Mining Site guarded by two people. Immediately, I decide to dispatch our yeti, Anarchist, and Bargi because we need to build Susan!
We get another set of guests, and one of them is a Turian named She-Venom. Marvel's wokeness has infected Rimworld, all is lost.
The component site is in the middle of a mountain. I decide to make use of my Yeti's racial ability and convince the TImber Wolf to attack for me. It doesn't go well, and they actually put up a solid fight with a drill arm and a guy who knows how to disarm melee fighters. But in the end, we are successful and also deconstruct their Solar Panel for some extra components. Susan is going to be built soon...
This month has been a bit quiet. We end with...another Terrible Julay, that ends with Bargi deciding a tantrum and smashing a bunch of stuff is a good idea. We'll deal with him next time, as we slowly bring Susan to completion.
Last edited:
thejackal2
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 20, 2023
Rage quit a game a month or so ago and haven't picked it back up. I had a level 14 tamer the entire time and that fucker didn't get inspired taming ONCE in like 4 in game years which led me to be under manned on animal tanks when a fucking mortar crew raid showed up. I had already just defeated a drop shop and infestation (I had too much wealth built up obviously) so I was down a couple colonists when we went out to take on the mortar crew.
Fucking lucky ass shot from some raider immediately hits my best shooter in the eye, so she's down on the ground, and then a grenade explodes and takes out a turret I had set up and that sets a couple of my animal tanks on fire and long story short my favorite colonist ended up dying on the medical bed. Rage quit. Didn't even feel like save scumming.
Fucking lucky ass shot from some raider immediately hits my best shooter in the eye, so she's down on the ground, and then a grenade explodes and takes out a turret I had set up and that sets a couple of my animal tanks on fire and long story short my favorite colonist ended up dying on the medical bed. Rage quit. Didn't even feel like save scumming.
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2016
Rimworld is very dumb with the RNG sometimes, and I won't lie, I use the Character Editor mod when I'm just goofing around to rez people. Now, on with the show...
We are offered a Forest Fairy in exchange for a psychic suppression field that will make all of our men dumber for a week. So, no change to Fat, har har har. She has great cooking and animals, and is a hell of a fighter, so we're gonna have to load her up.
Luckily we get that opportunity with a War Merchant showing up. They usually have good weapons, and we have 4k of Silver burning a hole in our colony. Unfortunately the best he has is a Javelin, but it's a ranged weapon so it works.
We're asked if we're willing to fight for profit and fun. I realize the enemy is made of meat, and decide that yes, we will do some fighting. "The Great" looks interesting, it's a permanent +5 Mood and I think Fatrick needs it to be super delusional.
The unthinkable happens, we run out of wood for our equipment. Luckily we're in a forest, so cutting more isn't tough, I just have to do it.
The first Yeti raid happens as a trading caravan shows up. We take some bruises from their wooden weapons but the fight is rather uninteresting and results in three corpses for us to harvest.
For the second raid, the suppression works in our favor. One of them is instantly incapacitated. Unlike the last group, these ones do not break after losing several units.
A warband enters the fray, and these guys have a mage. Great. But I gave our fairy, "Mother", the las gun and well, she's using it pretty well. It's a tough fight that leaves a few bleeding, but we end up more or less in the clear.
I guess after all that fighting, Randy is all "here's a meteor shower" cause why not?
We get offered a quest to have a VOLCANIC WINTER for the reward of...some good will and a single mechanoid component. This quest gets laughed off so fast I forget to take a screencap of it.
Due to our wealth hitting a certain level, everyone is now demanding booze. This catches me a bit off guard, and means I'll need to research how to make beer and other alcohols now. This does lead to three people all having mental breaks at once and Anarchist even smashes his bed.
As a blessing from Randy, a Wine Merchant appears and sells us a ton of wine. This will hold off the mental breaks until Fatrick finally finishes researching how to make our own beer.
I'm a little annoyed the third Yeti fight apparently never came. Oh well. I decide it's time for us to get to work on finding our Relic, A Christmas Carnage, and accept a quest that takes us in a shuttle to a new place.
We have to hack these terminals, luckily, they're all outdoors. Unluckily, we have ancient fuel nodes ready to explode. We hack a supply satelite which drops some Lavish Grills, but also summons enemies. They brought guns. I brought a bigger one. After fighting them, Patrick hacks the terminals in pretty record time, so that's one stage down, four to go.
Tune in next time for beer! Research into making our own components! A crippling lack of Iron after making these barrels!
We are offered a Forest Fairy in exchange for a psychic suppression field that will make all of our men dumber for a week. So, no change to Fat, har har har. She has great cooking and animals, and is a hell of a fighter, so we're gonna have to load her up.
Luckily we get that opportunity with a War Merchant showing up. They usually have good weapons, and we have 4k of Silver burning a hole in our colony. Unfortunately the best he has is a Javelin, but it's a ranged weapon so it works.
We're asked if we're willing to fight for profit and fun. I realize the enemy is made of meat, and decide that yes, we will do some fighting. "The Great" looks interesting, it's a permanent +5 Mood and I think Fatrick needs it to be super delusional.
The unthinkable happens, we run out of wood for our equipment. Luckily we're in a forest, so cutting more isn't tough, I just have to do it.
The first Yeti raid happens as a trading caravan shows up. We take some bruises from their wooden weapons but the fight is rather uninteresting and results in three corpses for us to harvest.
For the second raid, the suppression works in our favor. One of them is instantly incapacitated. Unlike the last group, these ones do not break after losing several units.
A warband enters the fray, and these guys have a mage. Great. But I gave our fairy, "Mother", the las gun and well, she's using it pretty well. It's a tough fight that leaves a few bleeding, but we end up more or less in the clear.
I guess after all that fighting, Randy is all "here's a meteor shower" cause why not?
We get offered a quest to have a VOLCANIC WINTER for the reward of...some good will and a single mechanoid component. This quest gets laughed off so fast I forget to take a screencap of it.
Due to our wealth hitting a certain level, everyone is now demanding booze. This catches me a bit off guard, and means I'll need to research how to make beer and other alcohols now. This does lead to three people all having mental breaks at once and Anarchist even smashes his bed.
As a blessing from Randy, a Wine Merchant appears and sells us a ton of wine. This will hold off the mental breaks until Fatrick finally finishes researching how to make our own beer.
I'm a little annoyed the third Yeti fight apparently never came. Oh well. I decide it's time for us to get to work on finding our Relic, A Christmas Carnage, and accept a quest that takes us in a shuttle to a new place.
We have to hack these terminals, luckily, they're all outdoors. Unluckily, we have ancient fuel nodes ready to explode. We hack a supply satelite which drops some Lavish Grills, but also summons enemies. They brought guns. I brought a bigger one. After fighting them, Patrick hacks the terminals in pretty record time, so that's one stage down, four to go.
Tune in next time for beer! Research into making our own components! A crippling lack of Iron after making these barrels!
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2016
Hey I haven't checked in on Pat in a while, wonder what he's-
Patrick and Nikki have sued the city of Milwaukee
I fucking quit. There was no chance in hell I was going to be any more ridiculous than Patrick already is. But I'm so fucking close to actually completing the objectives I set out, I'm going to keep going. My next run will be far more amusing. Until then, praise be to the one and only Pig God.
We start off with some visitors and a blight on our corn plants. Food is more or less solved, however, so it's not too worrying. We get a little extra silver from them, thankfully. They also leave us a gift of a belt of dynamite...okay.
Just in time too, as a new group from the Empire of Reda show up. We trade off some exotic goods in exchange for cash and strangely, a lot of juice.
Juice, I said juice.
As part of summer festivities, we do the Dance of the Pigs! Patrick sings the entire time, and everyone is bored within three minutes. Did Fat ever do karaoke? Who cares? (We don't have any components to make the stuff that makes a Dance Festival better so this was the best I could hope for)
The dancing appears to have attracted a pair of black snakes. Not wanting to take any chances, the whole squad is mobilized. The snakes are killed, but Anarchist takes several hits, including some from Patrick. Whose side is he really on...
Another big raid, triggered right as our guests were leaving. We use the river to our advantage as enemy pathfinding splits the party, allowing us to deal heavy damage while suffering little of our own. Pixyteri goes down, but she should be fine.
In an effort to shoot down a dog that killed one of our dryads, however, Mother shoots Anarchist's head off. We need to have a funeral, but...
Ah, back to back raids. Wonderful. Patrick and former child Bargi are the only two who can really fight, and manage to just barely gun down enough to get them to run.
During Anarchist's funeral, Pixyteri, who is our Moral Guide, fucks off and starts binge drinking. Despite this, we consider it a good funeral.
Finally I'm able to call up the Fallen Empire and bestow Patrick with a Knight title. Because he's an asshole, he will now never haul or clean anything (unless it's to build something). However, thanks to this, I can now call for extra steel and extra gold.
With more resources now coming in, we will pause here. I'll be back later with more adventures, possibly using Susan herself...
Patrick and Nikki have sued the city of Milwaukee
I fucking quit. There was no chance in hell I was going to be any more ridiculous than Patrick already is. But I'm so fucking close to actually completing the objectives I set out, I'm going to keep going. My next run will be far more amusing. Until then, praise be to the one and only Pig God.
We start off with some visitors and a blight on our corn plants. Food is more or less solved, however, so it's not too worrying. We get a little extra silver from them, thankfully. They also leave us a gift of a belt of dynamite...okay.
Just in time too, as a new group from the Empire of Reda show up. We trade off some exotic goods in exchange for cash and strangely, a lot of juice.
Juice, I said juice.
As part of summer festivities, we do the Dance of the Pigs! Patrick sings the entire time, and everyone is bored within three minutes. Did Fat ever do karaoke? Who cares? (We don't have any components to make the stuff that makes a Dance Festival better so this was the best I could hope for)
The dancing appears to have attracted a pair of black snakes. Not wanting to take any chances, the whole squad is mobilized. The snakes are killed, but Anarchist takes several hits, including some from Patrick. Whose side is he really on...
Another big raid, triggered right as our guests were leaving. We use the river to our advantage as enemy pathfinding splits the party, allowing us to deal heavy damage while suffering little of our own. Pixyteri goes down, but she should be fine.
In an effort to shoot down a dog that killed one of our dryads, however, Mother shoots Anarchist's head off. We need to have a funeral, but...
Ah, back to back raids. Wonderful. Patrick and former child Bargi are the only two who can really fight, and manage to just barely gun down enough to get them to run.
During Anarchist's funeral, Pixyteri, who is our Moral Guide, fucks off and starts binge drinking. Despite this, we consider it a good funeral.
Finally I'm able to call up the Fallen Empire and bestow Patrick with a Knight title. Because he's an asshole, he will now never haul or clean anything (unless it's to build something). However, thanks to this, I can now call for extra steel and extra gold.
With more resources now coming in, we will pause here. I'll be back later with more adventures, possibly using Susan herself...
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2016
One of our goals is completed. We have built Pat's room to be able to accommodate a Count. Additionally, the sausages have matured and become LEGENDARY quality, which is nice.
Once again, Nikki's farts fill the world tile, giving us a layer of acidic smog. How joyous! During this, our valued guest gets into a fight with Patrick and breaks his arm. Something that really should have happened to Fat IRL.
Unfortunately, the cooler breaks in the sausage making room, spoiling the latest batch. This just makes machining more important to unlock...
In the meantime, I send Patrick and a couple others to raid an Ancient Complex. There's a lot of stuff we can steal here, so it becomes important to move fast. Luckily there's only one terminal, so we hack it, deconstruct stuff to get the tasty components, grab the onions that drop from a supply satellite, and GTFO.
While they're out, a couple pigs decide it would be a great idea to attack the GOD PIG'S HOME. Their lives are already over, stalker.
Randy has been doing nothing but raids. One of ours is clearly as tired of this as I am, and shoots one of them straight in the heart as combat opens. We only have to get a couple more kills in before the rest flee.
First we fought for fun, now for profit. A shuttle has crashed, and they asked if they could crash on us. We agree, and work together to fight some Wasters. This gives Patrick more honor with the Empire, and all his bootlicking means he'll be able to be a Praetor-which allows me to summon components if I need them. Which I FUCKING DO.
The ceremony happens, I call for permits, and Patrick immediately begins work on Susan. Well, the Traveller, which we then call Susan. Our primary goals are done, now, we just need the money to Pay Quasi...lol.
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2016
Well, now that we have Susan, it's time to use her. The car can take up to 80 Chemfuel in the tank, so it's time to make some more. We also switch our research to Noble Apparel as the Component thing is taken care of and Piggy is squealing for better clothes.
We quickly come to a realization: That driving in a forest is difficult. So, it's time to cut it all down. Or maybe not-not using Susan is very Fatrick.
Regardless, we have a job to do if we want to get that book, A Christmas Carnage. We need to invade the peaceful village, and kill them all. We use an Animal Warcall to force a rat to attack them as we shoot, the rat provides an excellent distraction and we're able to kill them all, and then leave.
We bring one of the villagers back with us so they can enjoy Prison.
A pack of rabid Nightlings, that have the power to shoot spines at us, attacks the area. This temporarily traps Patrick and Pixyteri, but we're able to break it and get some extra food. Same with the two human raids that follow, we have enough fighters that a single raid isn't much of an even anymore.
Welp. This is never a good ending. I decided to take on an optional objective, defend a caravan animal to get some extra loot. But, Patrick got shot and burned enough that he was instantly killed by a third molotov cocktail. This also means losing the title and all those wonderful permits he had. We were able to accomplish our objectives except for one...
Except, we actually managed it before the end of the second year. I was avoiding using "total Colony Wealth", and wanted to get the money in raw silver. But it turns out, all of our stuff combined crossed the 71K threshhold about three updates ago. I'll take it, as it means this simulator was a total, complete success-and only a tiny portion of it was actually Patrick, most of that wealth comes from other people making stuff around the area.
With this revelation, Bargiacchi reveals his nickname is actually Quasi, meaning that now, he owns Patrick's Half-Hovel and will do so forever more. In celebration, he throws a party. Ding Dong, the pig is dead. Long Live Quasi and the ONA Forums.
With that, this round of Rimworld is drawn to a close. Perhaps I'll do this again with other cows. Or perhaps we'll do the Real Kiwi Farms...
We quickly come to a realization: That driving in a forest is difficult. So, it's time to cut it all down. Or maybe not-not using Susan is very Fatrick.
Regardless, we have a job to do if we want to get that book, A Christmas Carnage. We need to invade the peaceful village, and kill them all. We use an Animal Warcall to force a rat to attack them as we shoot, the rat provides an excellent distraction and we're able to kill them all, and then leave.
We bring one of the villagers back with us so they can enjoy Prison.
A pack of rabid Nightlings, that have the power to shoot spines at us, attacks the area. This temporarily traps Patrick and Pixyteri, but we're able to break it and get some extra food. Same with the two human raids that follow, we have enough fighters that a single raid isn't much of an even anymore.
Welp. This is never a good ending. I decided to take on an optional objective, defend a caravan animal to get some extra loot. But, Patrick got shot and burned enough that he was instantly killed by a third molotov cocktail. This also means losing the title and all those wonderful permits he had. We were able to accomplish our objectives except for one...
Except, we actually managed it before the end of the second year. I was avoiding using "total Colony Wealth", and wanted to get the money in raw silver. But it turns out, all of our stuff combined crossed the 71K threshhold about three updates ago. I'll take it, as it means this simulator was a total, complete success-and only a tiny portion of it was actually Patrick, most of that wealth comes from other people making stuff around the area.
With this revelation, Bargiacchi reveals his nickname is actually Quasi, meaning that now, he owns Patrick's Half-Hovel and will do so forever more. In celebration, he throws a party. Ding Dong, the pig is dead. Long Live Quasi and the ONA Forums.
With that, this round of Rimworld is drawn to a close. Perhaps I'll do this again with other cows. Or perhaps we'll do the Real Kiwi Farms...