Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Maggots on a Train v2]

Bob doesn't care about boots-on-the-ground facts. He just wants to be part of that ivory tower elite that looks down on the unwashed masses of humanity. He wants to sit in a richly appointed basement penning screenplays of political, pop-culture crossover movies, and tweeting the kinds of Deep Thoughts that are appreciated by self-righteous snotrags like himself. Bob does not care about the poor, nor does he care about any of the minority classes. He'll support anyone or anything that enables him to live his dreams of social justice moralfagging and unlimited crapulence, and will attack anyone or anything he views as being a threat to them.

As populism grows, it's going to be a genuine pleasure to see Bob's vision of a Superior Future crumble into dust. Ironically, a world where the (real) working class has greater power will be a far better and freer place for Bob's younger relatives to live in than the corrupt, outrage-driven, elite-run hellhole that Bob wants to impose on the world.

One of the very minuscule pleasures of (hopefully) growing older will be the schadenfreude of watching Bob lose his smug shit once his viewers are gone and he has to return to starter-level retail.

 

[Iceland Heavy]

not to mention the time her government abolished metropolitan county councils (GLC, West Midlands, Greater Manchester, South Yorkshire etc.) due to their political dissidence
plus, she was a woman, so in his eyes she could do no wrong whatsoever

I feel like Bob would've vigorously opposed Thatcher the person if for no other reason than his social crowd most likely being firmly anti-Thatcher. Mostly he'd just be wishing New Labour had been the first to get a woman PM and shit on the miners.

Ok I've heard this kind of thing more than once and... I don't know Halo lore and don't have a fuse with a rating high enough to wade into the autism of a wiki. Can someone sum up with 20% more detail?

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/the-big-picture/2428-Combat-Evolved
I finally decided to subject myself to more of Bob's big brained takes straight from the source and it's about as exceptional as I thought. Yes, he briefly, halfheartedly acknowledges that the Covenant are supposed to be the genocidal enslaving bad guys but spends the rest of the video sperging about how Halo must be subliminal nazi propaganda because multiculturalism is inherently good and if the bad guys are at all multicultural that's problematic. The UNSC are crypto-fascists because for no other reason than that they're militaristic monocultural humans, and they're inspired by Starship Troopers like most military sci-fi which makes all of it crypto-nazi by default.

Spoiler: Halo lore sperging

He's not entirely incorrect, but pretty much by accident since there's no way he's actually looked at any of the lore. The UNSC in the lore aren't unambiguous good guys, prior to the Covenant invasion they were fighting a brutal war against the secessionist colonies which the SPARTANS were originally created for. So they were already fairly militarized even before the Covenant show up and committed several atrocities like nuking a rebelling colony. Then there's all the shit ONI (basically the space CIA) gets up to but most of that is 343-era lore which I don't really pay attention to. Funnily enough in the background lore there is a space nazi faction which even has a germanic name that the UNSC fought in the distant past but it's pretty much just a throwaway mention.

 

[LordofCringe7206]

Meanwhile, SMB3 built on the foundation of the original game and was one of the NES' top selling games, but it was hardly a cultural phenomenon and the cameo it made in the Wizard didn't even make a ripple in the wider popular culture of 1989. Sonic the Hedgehog was more of one because it was the first game to challenge Nintendo's dominance and helped the Genesis outsell the SNES for a short time. Granted, Sega imploded due to bad decisions stemming from the Sega of Japan/Sega of America rivalry, it still drew first blood and gave Sony (whom Nintendo spurned over the scrapped SNES CD add-on) an opening to dominate the fifth generation of video games. Nintendo never recovered its former glory after that.

Hell, I would argue that SMB3 isn't even the most significant Mario game. Super Mario 64 did far more to innovate the world of gaming than SMB3 did. The effects it had on gaming can still be felt to this day.

 

[Jet Fuel Johnny]

His #11 "Only huge because you could play it at work or school..." shows that he knows jack and shit about the history of video games.

Now, I'm not like a Doom Scholar or anything, but I *DO* remember why it got big.

Spoiler: Minor Spergout

Doom came about at the time that the internet wasn't that much of a thing. Most modems were 7200 or 14.4K baud modems, AOL was about the closest you got to "the internet" and Windows 95 was 2 years away. (It was originally released in 19 fucking 93) The big thing ID did that was smart was make it shareware and allow all the BBS's out there (think a forum you used a dialup modem to access at 7200 baud that you could download files from if you had a few hours and nobody triggered your call waiting or picked up the phone) to host the shareware version. To top it off, you could mail in for the game and get it pretty quickly back on a few floppy discs.

Psuedo-3D had been around for a while, but not with smooth movement, and real time fights were still pretty hinky. DOOM seemed to hit all the buttons. 3D multi-level maps, huge areas to explore, powerups and health/armor kits everywhere, all in glorious SVGA color. It could played on a 386SX or 386DX, with or without a math coprocessor and about 4MB of RAM for this wonderful 3D.

The mapping was cool. Secret areas, multiple ways over around or through. Enemies that would retreat and come back at you. Different enemies who did different things based on the map and enemy type.

Another thing they did was make it so anyone could make and distribute WADs. This was HUGE. You could make some maps pretty easy for you and your friends to kill each other on or to try to play through. The only thing was, you needed the FULL GAME to run WADs.

And again, you could easily get the game. IIRC, it was only $15 for the whole thing on floppy discs, $20 for a CD which had extra fan made WAD's. (I remember folding a $20 in the order form and mailing it out and getting the CD packed with stuff like 3 weeks later with a "THANKS FOR BUYING!" note attached. One the CD was a list of DOOM BBS's phone numbers)

DOOM had multiplayer, steady at 7200 baud on a 386DX with 4MB RAM. This was new too. Normally multiplayer relied on turns, with people calling in to the dedicated phone line, doing a few turns on the BBS software, and logging out for a couple of hours waiting for your turns to refresh. (TradeWars and a few others, including Apocalypse) Now you could directly shoot your friend in the face and laugh about it.

AND it could support token ring LAN parties. Holy shit. You could get a bunch of buddies together, drink beer and smoke cigarettes while you configured the network, then spend 6 hours killing each other in death matches on custom maps. Shit talking, ladder rankings written on white boards/chalk boards, team plays, all kinds of shit that eventually led to early 2000's multiplayer culture.

When DOOM did it, nobody else had done anything like it that had been available to the mass public.

DOOM was the fucking future of computer gaming, and we ALL FUCKING KNEW IT.

For Movieblob to claim it was only because you convertly play it at work or school shows that he's a know nothing retard who's going to lose his feet after he stuffs one twinkie too many up his fat ass.

 

[Mola Ram]

His #11 "Only huge because you could play it at work or school..." shows that he knows jack and shit about the history of video games.

Now, I'm not like a Doom Scholar or anything, but I *DO* remember why it got big.

Spoiler: Minor Spergout

Doom came about at the time that the internet wasn't that much of a thing. Most modems were 7200 or 14.4K baud modems, AOL was about the closest you got to "the internet" and Windows 95 was 2 years away. (It was originally released in 19 fucking 93) The big thing ID did that was smart was make it shareware and allow all the BBS's out there (think a forum you used a dialup modem to access at 7200 baud that you could download files from if you had a few hours and nobody triggered your call waiting or picked up the phone) to host the shareware version. To top it off, you could mail in for the game and get it pretty quickly back on a few floppy discs.

Psuedo-3D had been around for a while, but not with smooth movement, and real time fights were still pretty hinky. DOOM seemed to hit all the buttons. 3D multi-level maps, huge areas to explore, powerups and health/armor kits everywhere, all in glorious SVGA color. It could played on a 386SX or 386DX, with or without a math coprocessor and about 4MB of RAM for this wonderful 3D.

The mapping was cool. Secret areas, multiple ways over around or through. Enemies that would retreat and come back at you. Different enemies who did different things based on the map and enemy type.

Another thing they did was make it so anyone could make and distribute WADs. This was HUGE. You could make some maps pretty easy for you and your friends to kill each other on or to try to play through. The only thing was, you needed the FULL GAME to run WADs.

And again, you could easily get the game. IIRC, it was only $15 for the whole thing on floppy discs, $20 for a CD which had extra fan made WAD's. (I remember folding a $20 in the order form and mailing it out and getting the CD packed with stuff like 3 weeks later with a "THANKS FOR BUYING!" note attached. One the CD was a list of DOOM BBS's phone numbers)

DOOM had multiplayer, steady at 7200 baud on a 386DX with 4MB RAM. This was new too. Normally multiplayer relied on turns, with people calling in to the dedicated phone line, doing a few turns on the BBS software, and logging out for a couple of hours waiting for your turns to refresh. (TradeWars and a few others, including Apocalypse) Now you could directly shoot your friend in the face and laugh about it.

AND it could support token ring LAN parties. Holy shit. You could get a bunch of buddies together, drink beer and smoke cigarettes while you configured the network, then spend 6 hours killing each other in death matches on custom maps. Shit talking, ladder rankings written on white boards/chalk boards, team plays, all kinds of shit that eventually led to early 2000's multiplayer culture.

When DOOM did it, nobody else had done anything like it that had been available to the mass public.

DOOM was the fucking future of computer gaming, and we ALL FUCKING KNEW IT.

For Movieblob to claim it was only because you convertly play it at work or school shows that he's a know nothing exceptional individual who's going to lose his feet after he stuffs one twinkie too many up his fat ass.

I suspect he just resents the fact that as far as the history of video games goes, Doom is incalculably more important and influential than his beloved SMB3.

 

[Jetpack Himmler]

Hell, I would argue that SMB3 isn't even the most significant Mario game. Super Mario 64 did far more to innovate the world of gaming than SMB3 did. The effects it had on gaming can still be felt to this day.

Bob simply doesn't understand that a game doesn't need to be innovative to be great or loved. No one is saying that SMB3 is a shit game (though I prefer Super Mario World), it will never be as big a deal as Bob wants it to be. The original Super Mario Bros. practically invented the platforming genre and Super Mario 64 properly brought it to the third dimension. Bob's just too high off the smell of his own farts to realize that his opinions and observations are generally laughable.

His comments on the Sonic series leaves me to wonder what his thoughts are on Sonic Mania. I can imagine him being dismissive, if not disdainful of the game despite it being very well by both fans and critics. The same people who developed it were prominent in the fan game community and we all know what Bob thinks of the fans.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

I suspect he just resents the fact that as far as the history of video games goes, Doom is incalculably more important and influential than his beloved SMB3.

Hell, the 2016 reboot was so badass it made me become a fan of the series.

 

[Rei is shit]

I suspect he just resents the fact that as far as the history of video games goes, Doom is incalculably more important and influential than his beloved SMB3.

And how many schools had computers that could actually run doom when it came out. Almost all the comps at mine were fucking apple IIs till like '97.

 

[Mola Ram]

And how many schools had computers that could actually run doom when it came out. Almost all the comps at mine were fucking apple IIs till like '97.

Depends on the school. My high school's computer lab was running A-Train and SimCity 2000 when they were new. But you hit on something I think is definitely true: Bob missed the boat on Doom, from a combination of being just a shade too young for it and from just not being a PC gamer in general. But he can't see beyond his own biases, as usual, and so ludicrously underplays how important Doom was and is.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

And how many schools had computers that could actually run doom when it came out. Almost all the comps at mine were fucking apple IIs till like '97.

Depends on the school. My high school's computer lab was running A-Train and SimCity 2000 when they were new. But you hit on something I think is definitely true: Bob missed the boat on Doom, from a combination of being just a shade too young for it and from just not being a PC gamer in general. But he can't see beyond his own biases, as usual, and so ludicrously underplays how important Doom was and is.

You have no idea how prevalent Doom was in schools and workplaces.

 

[MightyBiteySnake]

As for Mega Man 3. The fanbase seems fairly split over it and Mega Man 2 so there is no consensus on which game is better

I'm disgusted to say that my taste comes anywhere close to Bob's in terms of... Well anything, but let's be real Bob likes MM3>MM2 purely for "being contrarian to own the gamertards" rather than any actual love for one MeganMan over the other.

Bob has such shit taste in gaming, but I'm honestly thankful he isn't into it that much because just imagine Bob playing any game with a political villain knowing how he loves to overinterpret things.

Could you imagine the scalding hot takes we'd get from Bob he played (or pretended to play) Metal Gear Rising?

Hell, I would argue that SMB3 isn't even the most significant Mario game. Super Mario 64 did far more to innovate the world of gaming than SMB3 did. The effects it had on gaming can still be felt to this day.

As always bob mistakes personal relevance for cultural relevance It's not wrong to allow a formative experience in an interactive media to influence one's tastes and expectations for similar interactive media; for example, I tend to find that people whose first Elder Scrolls game was Skyrim have a more difficult time getting into and enjoying Morrowind or Oblivion. there's nothing wrong with that per se as the player's expectations and preferences have already been set by a system that's designed to be more streamlined than the previous iterations'. Bob's formative experience in games was defined by SMB3 and it's normal to look back fondly on the game and want for other games to inspire that same sense of nostalgia and awe that SMB3 did for young Bob.

However, Bob's view faulters on two levels:

-the first is that he assumes his experience is universal, and thus believes that SMB3 is being done a disservice because not everyone else views it as a casualty of a "personal Vietnam". Everyone should be as wowed by the game as he is and they're a dang dirty [Bob' Target of the Day] if they Dont.

-and second is that Bob mistakenly equates genre influence to industry value; that is to say he cannot separate games into the categories in which they follow. By comparing the success of DOOM to SMB3 he's comparing apples and oranges. Both games an extraordinary amount of influence- in their respective genres. Bob cannot handle the fact that DOOM has more lasting relevance because of it's legendary distribution and shocking style despite the fact that both games are beloved in their communities and equally influential to their genre.

tl;dr bob cannot set aside his subjective biases to accept or make an objective assessment and sees anything that would challenge his opinions as an offense to him and his beliefs

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Could you imagine the scalding hot takes we'd get from Bob he played (or pretended to play) Metal Gear Rising?

Or even worse if he played Persona 5

 

[Flexo]

The shortest and simplest answer is this.
The Covenant are a Genocidal, Slaving, Theocratic Empire. They either absorb other species by force and make them worship their corrupt and deadly religion or in the case of Humanity just try to wipe them out.
Said Holy War lasted close to 30 years and claimed 23 billion human lives. They also hate one another and fall into a genocidal civil war which ends the Covenant.
Oh and that religion of theirs? If followed through to its stated goals it would mean the end of all life in the Milky Way.
Why Bob thinks this is A a depiction of Multiculturalism and B a positive one at that is known only to himself.
Others have already explained this with more detail further up page but I though I would give my own little TLDR.

So the Covenant are literally what Bob believes Christians are except he's in favor of them?

Wow. Thanks @Iceland Heavy , @BR55 & @Judge Dredd. Now that I more fully comprehend Bob's idiocy, I see now why you and the other Halo fans were sparing the rest of us from the same suffering.

(especially that one of his points was based upon a non-canon commercial - that bit was going right over my head)

 

[Iceland Heavy]

So the Covenant are literally what Bob believes Christians are except he's in favor of them?

Wow. Thanks @Iceland Heavy , @BR55 & @Judge Dredd. Now that I more fully comprehend Bob's idiocy, I see now why you and the other Halo fans were sparing the rest of us from the same suffering.

(especially that one of his points was based upon a non-canon commercial - that bit was going right over my head)

Or Muslims, the Arbiter in Halo 2 was originally going to be named the Dervish until it was changed early in development specifically to avoid speds like Bob calling Halo a thinly veiled War on Terror-era brown terrorist killing simulator. In his video Bob uses the 300 depiction of the Persians as an analogy to the Covenant because the Spartan one is already there but I guarantee he also made the Muslim connection, which offends him because having genocidal religious zealots as an enemy is OK if they're also monocultural supremacist Nazi stand-ins, but absolutely haram very problematic if they're multicultural foreigners. I don't know if he sperged about Far Cry 5 afterwards as well but I wouldn't be surprised if he did since the bad guys turned out to not really be the MAGA strawmen he was practically salivating at getting to kill.

 

[AngryItalianAmerican]

Or even worse if he played Persona 5

His nose would bleed if he attempted to play System Shock or Deus Ex.

 

[TowinKarz]

Depends on the school. My high school's computer lab was running A-Train and SimCity 2000 when they were new. But you hit on something I think is definitely true: Bob missed the boat on Doom, from a combination of being just a shade too young for it and from just not being a PC gamer in general. But he can't see beyond his own biases, as usual, and so ludicrously underplays how important Doom was and is.

The fundamental problem with Bob is the same reason modern journalists are such crap, they cannot separate what they subjectively like from what is objectively important.

Much of Bob's work is trying to advance his opinion as fact, and he doesn't even seem to be aware he's doing it. The same flawed ideas flow from this notion that power SJWism too, to speak of something is to endorse it, those who don't share your opinions are not just possessed of different personal tastes, they are cognitively deficient and "can't see" the obvious truth.

Bob can't mention in passing that Doom was important because by mentioning something that was big, but not Mario, he believes he is actually depreciating Mario and saying it was NOT good. And if people begin thinking it wasn't good... they'll declare current Mario games not good either!!! AND STOP MAKING THEM!!!!!!

A grown man actually believes you have to clap your hands for your favorite stuff to exist..... that concrete things can be both done and undone retroactively if enough people just BELIEVE it.

The same tortured logic path that leads to progressives believing that if you enjoy a picture that was painted by a misogynist, or a poem, or a movie, or a video game, even if it's not about gender roles or muh rape culture, that you'll naturally start to think the misogynist was right and start acting completely like him because to touch anything he touched, or enjoy anything he enjoyed, taints you like some kind of evil spell.... and the only way to stop this from happening is to destroy his art and break his arms so he can't make more... all in the name of compassion, naturally.

 

[Judge Dredd]

Oh and that religion of theirs? If followed through to its stated goals it would mean the end of all life in the Milky Way.

I forgot to mention that. "The Great Journey" is activating one of the forerunner galaxy destroying super weapons.

I also forgot to say that in later games Elites join the humans after they split from the covenant. So Bob's claim that the humans are a single race vs diversity doesn't hold up either.

especially that one of his points was based upon a non-canon commercial - that bit was going right over my head

One of the few bits of Halo media Bob likes is a non-canon Halo animated anthology. I've never seen it and I doubt Bob has either because his sole reason for liking it is that he thinks it pisses off dudebros for mixing Halo and anime.

Anyway, opinions on his "controversial" opinions.

3: Mobile games are fine. Get over yourself.
Not until Chair decides to make real games again like Shadow Complex. And people are still bitter about waiting years for a new Dungeon Keeper only to get mobile pay-to-wait shit. This is especially rich coming from Bob because he flipped out about Mario holding a gun in Mario + Rabbids and Yoshi's Island, far less of an insult than most phone games.

5: 70% of anger directed at Metroid is unjustified because there's not as much lore as fans want.
Because Metroid Prime allowed you scan everything from wildlife to computers for lore, plus all the story in other games like Fusion. But fuck that, Bob still screaming "I'm not owned" about Other M being sexist (not played it so don't take my word for it).

9: Notch can get away with more if he was Japanese.
Notch can get away with whatever he likes. He has what's known as fuck you money.

13: Earthworm Jim doesn't hold up.
It holds up as well as any other 16 bit platformer and the cartoon series is still a classic (though that might be my nostalgia talking). Earthworm Jim is only hated today because in the age of political twitter the lead creator is considered "problematic".

15: Konami should have made less Castlevania and more Contra.
Konami made a shit ton of Contra games over the years, but Bob isn't out of touch. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contra_(series)#Games

16: Loot boxes aren't in the top 20 worst things currently happening in video games.
I'd like to see that top 20. Though knowing Bob the first 19 would be "people are not playing Mario 3" and 20 would be "nazi dude bro Call of Duty"

 

[BR55]

So the Covenant are literally what Bob believes Christians are except he's in favor of them?

Wow. Thanks @Iceland Heavy , @BR55 & @Judge Dredd. Now that I more fully comprehend Bob's idiocy, I see now why you and the other Halo fans were sparing the rest of us from the same suffering.

(especially that one of his points was based upon a non-canon commercial - that bit was going right over my head)

No problem.
In fact to elaborate further.
Saying the Covenant are the "Secret Good Guys" in Halo is like saying the Xenians or the Combine are actually the Good Guys in Half Life or that the Others/White Walkers are the Good Guys in A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones.
Basically this is the video game equivalent of saying Morgoth and Sauron and their hordes were the good guys in The Silmarillion/Lord of the Rings.
Speaking of which has he done his LOTR series yet? Because I'm pretty sure Bob's one of the people who would actually hold that position.

 

[Pokemonquistador]

No problem.
In fact to elaborate further.
Saying the Covenant are the "Secret Good Guys" in Halo is like saying the Xenians or the Combine are actually the Good Guys in Half Life or that the Others/White Walkers are the Good Guys in A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones.
Basically this is the video game equivalent of saying Morgoth and Sauron and their hordes were the good guys in The Silmarillion/Lord of the Rings.
Speaking of which has he done his LOTR series yet? Because I'm pretty sure Bob's one of the people who would actually hold that position.

He's not alone. Look up "Why Sauron is the Good Guy" on any search engine and you'll be flooded with articles from "woke" people explaining why orcs are actually a stand-in for Black People and why Elves are a corrupt White aristocratic elite. I'm sure Bob thinks Saruman's attempts to turn Middle Earth into a mechanized, polluted hellhole and make orc/human hybrids means he's a stand-in for the modern day forces of progressive globalization. Hobbits, according to Bob are nothing but the insular, flyover rednecks of their day, standing in the way of Sauron's beautiful vision of a Superior Future where all people are free and mingle together as one in a borderless world. (Even though they're all equally enslaved to a Dark Lord who chains them up and forces them to work in factories.)

 

[Lensherr]

He's not alone. Look up "Why Sauron is the Good Guy" on any search engine and you'll be flooded with articles from "woke" people explaining why orcs are actually a stand-in for Black People and why Elves are a corrupt White aristocratic elite. I'm sure Bob thinks Saruman's attempts to turn Middle Earth into a mechanized, polluted hellhole and make orc/human hybrids means he's a stand-in for the modern day forces of progressive globalization. Hobbits, according to Bob are nothing but the insular, flyover rednecks of their day, standing in the way of Sauron's beautiful vision of a Superior Future where all people are free and mingle together as one in a borderless world. (Even though they're all equally enslaved to a Dark Lord who chains them up and forces them to work in factories.)

Come to think of it, Bob's disdain for ordinary, everyday people and hard-on for technological advancement among other things makes him sort of the anti-Tolkein. Which as I've said before, is why I'm genuinely interested in his video series about LOTR if he ever gets around to it, if only to see how he tries to reconcile their antithetical worldviews.