Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[instythot]

Chris is delusional if he thinks he's going to get 700k off his renovation. It's more scary that it looks like he maybe paid a year off his mortgage and then went into home equity. Going by the property valuation from the last page at best he's going to cancel out everything if he had to sell today but he'd still be underwater as his mind's been brainwashed with home renovation and flipping shows. Now I worry for his kids.

I'd put more money on "nagged to death by a fat wife" and "thinks he's a billionaire compared to the celebrity in the family" than "brainwashed with Reno and flipping shows"

 

[mandatorylurk]

You're probably right, I should have thought of his wife being a parasite on him like a stereotypical Bahstan woman would be. Looking how pathetic they are it seemed more like two clumps of dirt finding each other.

That'd be a deep autism dive to see how Chris' life has gotten worse since he married the whale.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

That'd be a deep autism dive to see how Chris' life has gotten worse since he married the whale

I'd assume that his brother's probably more to blame than his wife.

His wife might demand expensive stuff, but his brother led him into believing that sitting on the sofa would get him that stuff for free

 

[Malagor the dank omen]

>Joint ownership
>Still owes more than 500K of his mortgage
On a scale of 1 to Chernobyl, how screwed is Chris? How the fuck can he be so stupid to remortgage twice without paying off the first one in full?

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

On a scale of 1 to Chernobyl, how screwed is Chris?

Hiroshima.

 

[Quixotic Man]

>Joint ownership
>Still owes more than 500K of his mortgage
On a scale of 1 to Chernobyl, how screwed is Chris? How the fuck can he be so stupid to remortgage twice without paying off the first one in full?

Refinancing a house isn't necessarily a bad thing if you need some money. It can often get you a loan at a much lower interest rate, and if you live in an area where home values have sky rocketed (recently gentrified neighborhoods are a big one) it can basically be next to free money, But if Chip is TARGETING a 700k home value he actually currently own very little of his home, after nearly 10 years of living in it. I don't even think most of Chip's house value comes from the house itself, which is run down 3 bed, 1.5 bath affair. Rather I think it comes from the size of his property, which seems large for the neighborhood. He could probably increase the land value the most by clearing it. It doesn't help that any improvements Chip makes will depreciate fast from his horrible upkeep habits.

 

[Adamska]

Chris clarifies our misunderstanding:
View attachment 1904255

Chris is full of fucking shit.

I've SEEN his filthy hovel home; I don't give a shit HOW inflated the prices are for housing in Lynn; a house like his is worth like 200k at best... if he cleaned it. Which he won't.

Prospective buyers usually don't care for the god-awful 70s designs in houses. If that's what he's blowing his money on, then I now need to remind him that he doesn't deserve to cry about the inconveniences that his special needs daughter gives him.

Oh wow, it's even worse than I thought; he's trying to flex over money that doesn't exist. He's legit crowing about a house he's actually underwater on due to refinancing for short term gains.

 

[Koby_Fish]

Need to search Essex Country Registry of Deeds.

Here

The note's been sold at least 3 times, but originally he paid:

View attachment 1904440

Timothy Chipman was the executor for the family trust he purchased the home from. Not sure who he is and don't particularly care.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that Timothy Chipman is one of Bob and Chippa's uncles on his dad's side. Or cousin.

 

[BubbleButt]

>Joint ownership
>Still owes more than 500K of his mortgage
On a scale of 1 to Chernobyl, how screwed is Chris? How the fuck can he be so stupid to remortgage twice without paying off the first one in full?

He owes 200% of the value of his house and is trying to bank on getting work done to it to increase its value. But that price he quoted isn't realistic because the only inherent value a piece of property has is how much someone is willing to pay for it, and people will ALWAYS negotiate below market value. And the idea of the property jumping in valuation by almost $500k its current worth is absolute nonsense, especially when you see how awful the inside of the place looks and that the inside is so much more important than the "curb appeal" when you're selling.

Now, I'm not going to say he's completely Nuclear Armageddon fucked, because the housing market is volatile as fuck now, and it's a buyer's market, but his outlook on the benefits of these "renovations" is optimistic at best, even if he does still have a well paying day job which he DEFINITELY should not quit because his creative output is absolute garbage.

 

[Adamska]

He owes 200% of the value of his house and is trying to bank on getting work done to it to increase its value. But that price he quoted isn't realistic because the only inherent value a piece of property has is how much someone is willing to pay for it, and people will ALWAYS negotiate below market value. And the idea of the property jumping in valuation by almost $500k its current worth is absolute nonsense, especially when you see how awful the inside of the place looks and that the inside is so much more important than the "curb appeal" when you're selling.

Now, I'm not going to say he's completely Nuclear Armageddon fucked, because the housing market is volatile as fuck now, and it's a buyer's market, but his outlook on the benefits of these "renovations" is optimistic at best, even if he does still have a well paying day job which he DEFINITELY should not quit because his creative output is absolute garbage.

I can believe he can maybe get like 550k at best, but I'd have to look at the other houses on that street. Since it's Lynn, I expect them too to be kind of shit. Hell, my value being that high is purely because I know how bullshit expensive houses are in MA.

That he's trying to take money he borrowed to pimp out a house so he can try to avoid said debt by upping its value is something that DSP would do. It's actually the dumbest thing I've seen in a while from a cow.

 

[TopTierHealer]

But Chris is a bit of weird case. I mean, he is also fat and bald, and probably not all that content with his life, having a family is all nice and dandy, but his wife isn't a looker, kids are a never ending source of stress, and no matter how cool your job description is, it will eventually turn into a grind no matter what you do.

This is what I hate the most about people like Chris. Why do idiots think that being an engineer is a cross between Willy Wonka and Dexter's Lab? Engineering is 4 fucking years of being able to memorize formulas. "But muh math" can be beat by rote memorization. Of course there are thresholds which some people can't cross but I'm reminded of this scene from Community 6:58 :

Community S05E01 - Repilot - video Dailymotion

Community S05E01 - Repilot

www.dailymotion.com

The absolute cretin should bless his stars that he has a job in an air conditioned office where his fat ass can slip though the system's cracks because I promise you that he won't get this cushy gig again if he decides to pull a Tobias and become a full time artist.

 

[BubbleButt]

That he's trying to take money he borrowed to pimp out a house so he can try to avoid said debt by upping its value is something that DSP would do. It's actually the dumbest thing I've seen in a while from a cow.

I've suggested before that someone with a high interest rate from, like, 2007 cash out refinance their house, use whatever they get to put a down payment on another house and just rent out and fix up the first house on their own dime since it's small enough they won't be able to do repairs while they're living in it and it's a good learning experience since the first house is a piece of garbage. Still a massively big risk, but it's a better choice than doing double or nothing on your primary residence for literally no reason.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

This is what I hate the most about people like Chris. Why do idiots think that being an engineer is a cross between Willy Wonka and Dexter's Lab? Engineering is 4 fucking years of being able to memorize formulas. "But muh math" can be beat by rote memorization. Of course there are thresholds which some people can't cross but I'm reminded of this scene from Community 6:58 :

Community S05E01 - Repilot - video Dailymotion

Community S05E01 - Repilot

www.dailymotion.com

The absolute cretin should bless his stars that he has a job in an air conditioned office where his fat ass can slip though the system's cracks because I promise you that he won't get this cushy gig again if he decides to pull a Tobias and become a full time artist.

The Chipman brothers are the literal definition of white privilege.

 

[instythot]

I can believe he can maybe get like 550k at best, but I'd have to look at the other houses on that street. Since it's Lynn, I expect them too to be kind of shit. Hell, my value being that high is purely because I know how bullshit expensive houses are in MA.

That he's trying to take money he borrowed to pimp out a house so he can try to avoid said debt by upping its value is something that DSP would do. It's actually the dumbest thing I've seen in a while from a cow.

Beat me to it. These are Burnell financial manoeuvres. 100% underwater. Special Needs kid. Non-working wife. A house littered with toys the kids will outgrow any day. Probably a man cave full of "valuable" collectibles.

I look forward to the day that Chris realizes he will never retire his debt, or his career

 

[Koby_Fish]

Beat me to it. These are Burnell financial manoeuvres. 100% underwater. Special Needs kid. Non-working wife. A house littered with toys the kids will outgrow any day. Probably a man cave full of "valuable" collectibles.

I look forward to the day that Chris realizes he will never retire his debt, or his career

he better start cashing in those beer bottle deposits right now.

 

[BubbleButt]

Beat me to it. These are Burnell financial manoeuvres. 100% underwater. Special Needs kid. Non-working wife. A house littered with toys the kids will outgrow any day. Probably a man cave full of "valuable" collectibles.

I look forward to the day that Chris realizes he will never retire his debt, or his career

Sometimes you have to use drastic measures to get yourself out of a pit. For instance, I had to take 10k out of my retirement to get rid of my stupid college debts and, ironically, retire those. Sure, it sounds like shit, like... Man, that could have meant something...

But I make more than that in my current 401k in a year, and that 10k took a decade.

 

[ChampFantana]

I can believe he can maybe get like 550k at best, but I'd have to look at the other houses on that street. Since it's Lynn, I expect them too to be kind of shit. Hell, my value being that high is purely because I know how bullshit expensive houses are in MA.

That he's trying to take money he borrowed to pimp out a house so he can try to avoid said debt by upping its value is something that DSP would do. It's actually the dumbest thing I've seen in a while from a cow.

I'm starting to think that "Duh Chippa" is just getting started on his cow career. He'll never surpass his retarded brother, but he's certainly catching up to him in sheer idiocy.

 

[instythot]

I'm starting to think that "Duh Chippa" is just getting started on his cow career. He'll never surpass his retarded brother, but he's certainly catching up to him in sheer idiocy.

All he had to do to avoid becoming a cow was not join in with his retarded brother for trying to get someone fired over a tweet they didn't like

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

All he had to do to avoid becoming a cow was not join in with his retarded brother for trying to get someone fired over a tweet they didn't like

Scratch that. All he had to do was be thankful for what he had instead of listening to his brother's tales about getting 40k a year for doing nothing.

 

[Captain Marvelous]

One thing I don't get about Bob is: how can he genuinely think he's one of the "thinkers" and not a "believer"? The man is a movie critic. He isn't a scientist or an engineer helping mankind evolve scientifically. Nor is he a writer or philosopher making people think about life. He sits on his fat ass all day, locked in his basement, and talks about movies.

Does he think that what he does is in any way an intellectual work that makes his viewers better people? Does he see himself as a Dostoievski of movie reviews or some shit like that? He isn't even successful as a movie critic for fuck's sake.

Maybe he thinks he's some kind of deep philosopher teaching people about movies.