Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Mr._Blonde]

He is fat, and I would not entrust the fate of humanity in him OR have sex with him.

I would not even put him in charge of the fruit tray during a Orgy OR be Hall monitor in a Elementary School.

 

[Lasersuit Larry]

I would not even put him in charge of the fruit tray during a Orgy OR be Hall monitor in a Elementary School.

Someone once tried to tell me that Death Note is a story about the corruptive nature of absolute power. To which I responded no, that's bullshit, Light was cracked from the start and would have turned the school book club into The Lord of the Flies if given half the chance. Bob too, and I'm sure there's a hot take of his somewhere to prove it.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

I first said this to someone trying to tell me that Death Note is a story about the corruptive nature of absolute power. To which I responded no, that's bullshit, Light was cracked from the start and would have turned the school book club into The Lord of the Flies if given half the chance. Bob too, and I'm sure there's a hot take of his somewhere to prove it.

I can't remember who it was who said it, but the only difference between Hitler and the bitter old guy in the back of the pub is that one held power and the other doesn't.

 

[make_it_so]

Did he put dye in his beard, or is he going prematurely gray?

I've never heard of anyone artificially graying their hair, and even if that was the case I doubt he would have the spare cash to do so. So no, I think Bob is going gray.

I can't remember who it was who said it, but the only difference between Hitler and the bitter old guy in the back of the pub is that one held power and the other doesn't.

I think it was C.S. Lewis, and his comparison was to the one small town farmer that hated everyone.

 

[LordofCringe7206]

The genocide is only how he expresses what's in that swollen dome of a head. What's really aging him is the frustration and loathing and depression. If Chris had an iota of compassion for his brother, he'd stop giving him attaboys for being a Twitter asshole to the tune of a quarter million tweets and try to get him into therapy so he can deal with his issues in a healthier way.

Therapy will never work on Bob. Especially if it's forced on him. Look at the effect that his childhood therapy had him. To this day he expects people to believe that a young child outsmarted a trained adult.

Bob's problems will never be resolved until he confronts his biggest issue (outside of his retardation): his ego. He can't handle the concept that he isn't perfect and superior to all lifeforms. It's hard for him to admit any fault. Combine that with his anger issues and stupidity, it's no wonder why so many things have derailed so badly in his life.

 

[Bolo]

He once said he dated a businesswoman who used him as a beard. Pretty sure that's what he meant with "dating above his station".

Nah, both stories are bullshit, there is no lore when it comes to Robert and his love life, everytime he brings up any relationship he had, it reeks of "canadian girlfriend" stench.

Not to say he never had a girl or he is a virgin, probably not, ain't that hard to get pussy. But I doubt Robert ever had a long term girlfriend, much less these colorfull stories about lesbian girlfriends, or him dating out of his station, any of that is bullshit.

And how can we tell? simple, everytime Robert speaks of a relationship it is in the past tense. Mind you, If i were at Robert shoes, I wouldn't talk about a current girlfriend, much less show her to the hellhole he made for himself in the social media.

But, remember, Robert is the guy who at the slight signal of conflict, starts to flex about the most ridiculous and juvenile shit, like bench pressing 300Lbs, being a crack shot with a gun, outdoors man with survival skills, bar brawler, etc etc etc.

So in the 10+ years this guy has been oversharing his shit online, not even once he let it slip he was currently dating someone? not even a "my girlfriend like this movie" or something of the sorts?

Yeah, there is a reason for that, it is always easier to bullshit your way into the past because you don't have to give details or if you are in the public, have people speculate. How many stories we heard or told are about "oh my crazy days in high school/college".

That is why he never mentioned a current girlfriend ever, out of fear of being called out by a "mutual" that knows him or have people questioning if said girlfriend really exists and how autistic obssesive the internet can be about finding out about said "girlfriend".

 

[Mola Ram]

Nah, both stories are bullshit, there is no lore when it comes to Robert and his love life, everytime he brings up any relationship he had, it reeks of "canadian girlfriend" stench.

Not to say he never had a girl or he is a virgin, probably not, ain't that hard to get pussy. But I doubt Robert ever had a long term girlfriend, much less these colorfull stories about lesbian girlfriends, or him dating out of his station, any of that is bullshit.

And how can we tell? simple, everytime Robert speaks of a relationship it is in the past tense. Mind you, If i were at Robert shoes, I wouldn't talk about a current girlfriend, much less show her to the hellhole he made for himself in the social media.

But, remember, Robert is the guy who at the slight signal of conflict, starts to flex about the most ridiculous and juvenile shit, like bench pressing 300Lbs, being a crack shot with a gun, outdoors man with survival skills, bar brawler, etc etc etc.

So in the 10+ years this guy has been oversharing his shit online, not even once he let it slip he was currently dating someone? not even a "my girlfriend like this movie" or something of the sorts?

Yeah, there is a reason for that, it is always easier to bullshit your way into the past because you don't have to give details or if you are in the public, have people speculate. How many stories we heard or told are about "oh my crazy days in high school/college".

That is why he never mentioned a current girlfriend ever, out of fear of being called out by a "mutual" that knows him or have people questioning if said girlfriend really exists and how autistic obssesive the internet can be about finding out about said "girlfriend".

The closest he's ever come to slipping up like this was that bizarre comment about not fixing his own plate at the cookout. (Of course he turned sex into a food analogy.)

 

[GreeneCoDeputy]

Bob's problems will never be resolved until he confronts his biggest issue (outside of his retardation): his ego. He can't handle the concept that he isn't perfect and superior to all lifeforms. It's hard for him to admit any fault. Combine that with his anger issues and stupidity, it's no wonder why so many things have derailed so badly in his life.

I think in Robert's case his view of himself as an intellectual pioneer, vindicated by the mainstreaming of "nerd culture" is a clear coping mechanism that has calcified around his deep feelings of inadequacy compared to his childhood peers and social failures possibly linked to his autism.

His father seems to have been on the older side for someone raising children. This strengthens the autism spectrum hypothesis as well as sets the stage for his father's probable disapproval of his son's choice in hobbies as well as his behavioral issues. He probably would have wanted Robert to get outside, excel in academics, and at least develop some social skills.

Robert's awareness of his father's disapproval would amplify his insecurity about those parts of his life and he would retreat further into his video games and fantasy worlds to chase away the feelings of failure.

College would have been more of the same with the possible exception of Robert being exposed to leftist ideals and the masturbatory ways of the Academy, where simply taking contrary viewpoints constitutes bravery regardless of their merit or basis in reality.

Robert would have likely seen the value system of academia, specifically the "studies" departments as validation of his default behavior and a rebuttal to his father's pressure on him to take up interests with direct applications in the real world.

Finally people were telling him that it was good to dwell in the world of fantasy and criticism for the sake of criticism and gave him a glimpse into a career where people are paid and celebrated for blowing hard about their autistic interests.

Being academically and intellectually unequipped and possibly financially unable to commit to graduate studies, Robert simply adopted the "baby talk" of academia, mimicking its buzz words and patronizing attitudes but not qualified or invited to participate in the venues recognized by his intellectual superiors.

Then there came the Internet -- this would be his chance to SHOW THEM ALL. He would be the superhero here -- he would defeat the bullies, defend the weak, and get the girl just like in his childhood fantasies. Best of all, his dad would have to admit that Robert's bizarre fixations were super smart and useful, after all.

That, I think, is why he refuses to take the "L" in any situation. If he fails here it will prove his father correct and his fantasy conception of himself will be shattered. He'll be forced to confront his constitutionality flawed, useless little self that hasn't developed since he got his NES way back when.

 

[make_it_so]

The closest he's ever come to slipping up like this was that bizarre comment about not fixing his own plate at the cookout. (Of course he turned sex into a food analogy.)

Which to me remains the most nonsensical way of flexing about how he's had a relationship and which I still don't understand. Was he saying he made someone else a plate? That someone made him a plate? Either way, it doesn't mean that there was any kind of relationship there.

 

[blablabla]

Which to me remains one of the most nonsensical way of flexing about how he's had a relationship and which I still don't understand. Was he saying he made someone else a plate? That someone made him a plate? Either way, it doesn't mean that there was any kind of relationship there.

he is a chronic masturbator

 

[Mola Ram]

Which to me remains one of the most nonsensical way of flexing about how he's had a relationship and which I still don't understand. Was he saying he made someone else a plate? That someone made him a plate? Either way, it doesn't mean that there was any kind of relationship there.

There is no plate. Robert is a pauper at the Banquet d'Amour.

 

[Bolo]

The closest he's ever come to slipping up like this was that bizarre comment about not fixing his own plate at the cookout. (Of course he turned sex into a food analogy.)

And that was just a brag about how Robert can get pussy when he wants, which is was a flex he made when confronted about being an incel, but again, he never said who, when or how, just some dumbass analogy about making plates at a cookout that he had to delete later because he was being mocked for it.

That, I think, is why he refuses to take the "L" in any situation. If he fails here it will prove his father correct and his fantasy conception of himself will be shattered. He'll be forced to confront his constitutionality flawed, useless little self that hasn't developed since he got his NES way back when.

I don't know about daddy issues or if we are taking Robert way to far into the armchair psychology here, but I think it is clear that a lot of the bullshit Robert spats out is because his inability to hold and L.

one of Robert main problems is quite a simple one, he isn't smart as he think he is, and everybody else isn't as dumb as he thinks they are. And being driven by internet confrontation, Robert constanly speaks out of depth (which is rather shallow), and when he gets called out, Robert goes out of way to make the most ridiculous flexes and get even deeper into the bullshit, because heaven forbid Robert chipman to take an L and shut up.

Eventually people catch on this, and now Robert can't shake of this lol-cow persona he made for himself, so now he mostly just ignores and blocks anyone he perceives as the "nazis", which is pretty easy for him, if someone has even listened to Joe Rogan Robert consideres them to be the next Himmler.

But things get fun when someone with relevance and who can't be dismissed as a "nazi" confronts Robert's bullshit, then we get to see the man spin and flail, all to never hold that "L".

 

[Tronathon242]

I'm not sure it's even a conscious double standard on his part as opposed to Bobert being too stupid to know what a double standard is. I have a difficult time figuring out whether he is more malicious than he is stupid, and vice versa on any given day. It's about a 50/50 toss up.

Again, he doesn't realize how much of a pedo he looks like, how weak he actually is, or how hypocritical and unpopular he is. Cows aren't very self-aware and he is no exception.

He once said he dated a businesswoman who used him as a beard. Pretty sure that's what he meant with "dating above his station".

So he invented a more successful backstory for his left hand and got more expensive lipstick for to fulfill the fantasy.

I can definitely see him being one of those hangers-on who defies all medical science and makes it to 80 purely because he's too much of a miserable sack of shit to die.


They have a definite 'she goes to a different school, you wouldn't know her' vibe, and it lines up with the ass-kick fantasies he also likes to indulge in; like that one about when he was at the riot and a cop in tacticool armour was intimidated by his absolute unit status.


I can already picture the teaser trailer with the Predator stepping off the ship and the camera pulls out to reveal a lightsaber hilt that powers on as the screen cuts to black.

No wait, wait...it's Xenomorphs crawling off the ship and a Predator hand holding the lightsaber. Cut me that fucking check, Disney.

I may actually prefer that, as stupid as it is, to toned down PG-13 solo films for each franchise.

A real Shrek parody of modern Disney would have the villain as a rich Hollywood executive who makes millions of gold coins endlessly pumping out corporate franchises based on Fairy Tale creatures, exploiting and enslaving them while also pretending to be champion for their rights in public. His evil plan would be to capture Shrek and his friends and either have them locked away due to not being marketable enough or trying to force them to be actors for him so he can pump out endless waves of disposable merchandise and media that drooling stooges like MovieBob desperately crave.

And Bob would scream and cry about it for years because it would shit on his entire lifestyle and everything he believes.

Did Bobertus say anything about Shrek getting preserved in the National Film Registry? I know the Disneyphiles weren't happy about it and I assume he wasn't either.

Which to me remains one of the most nonsensical way of flexing about how he's had a relationship and which I still don't understand. Was he saying he made someone else a plate? That someone made him a plate? Either way, it doesn't mean that there was any kind of relationship there.

He thought he was friends with Ellis just because they took a photo together. The plate analogy is as good as him reaching third base on the first date.

 

[Lord of the Large Pants]

Again, he doesn't realize how much of a pedo he looks like, how weak he actually is, or how hypocritical and unpopular he is. Cows aren't very self-aware and he is no exception.

So he invented a more successful backstory for his left hand and got more expensive lipstick for to fulfill the fantasy.

I may actually prefer that, as stupid as it is, to toned down PG-13 solo films for each franchise.

Did Bobertus say anything about Shrek getting preserved in the National Film Registry? I know the Disneyphiles weren't happy about it and I assume he wasn't either.

He thought he was friends with Ellis just because they took a photo together. The plate analogy is as good as him reaching third base on the first date.

Third base? Bob got lost somewhere on the way to the stadium.

 

[joebobmurphy]

Or we could turn Mars into Space Australia and only send fat autistic pedos.

The best part would be that unlike the Australians, they wouldn't breed.

 

[Arthur Morgan]

Which to me remains the most nonsensical way of flexing about how he's had a relationship and which I still don't understand. Was he saying he made someone else a plate? That someone made him a plate? Either way, it doesn't mean that there was any kind of relationship there.

I think he was trying to claim that he has a lot of one night stands, or at least doesn't have trouble setting them up. But as everyone has said, that's most likely a lie.

Again, he doesn't realize how much of a pedo he looks like, how weak he actually is, or how hypocritical and unpopular he is. Cows aren't very self-aware and he is no exception.

Well he knows what he meant, and he sees himself as a genius who knows how to effectively communicate, so obviously anyone who says he's a pedophile who love eugenics is either being disingenuous or stupid. Most likely the latter, because Bob is one of the smartest men on the planet according to him.

 

[Smithfield Ham]

Well he knows what he meant, and he sees himself as a genius who knows how to effectively communicate, so obviously anyone who says he's a pedophile who love eugenics is either being disingenuous or stupid. Most likely the latter, because Bob is one of the smartest men on the planet according to him.

One thing we know about narcissists is often they actively avoid genuine self-introspection because they're too cowardly to acknowledge their flaws. Bob might know on some level that he looks like a fat white trash retard who wants to fuck little girls and cheer on a neoliberal, vegan, eco-friendly genocide sponsored by Disney and Coke, but he'll actively kill the thought any time it comes to the surface and will go out of his way to continue the behavior he's criticized for to "prove" it isn't true.

 

[LordofCringe7206]

Which to me remains the most nonsensical way of flexing about how he's had a relationship and which I still don't understand. Was he saying he made someone else a plate? That someone made him a plate? Either way, it doesn't mean that there was any kind of relationship there.

The analogy is meant to indicate that Bob almost always hooks up with somebody at a social gathering. Whether it be a bar outing or some other event. According to him he rarely fails to hook up with a piece of ass. The plate metaphor is meant to mean that he's hit it off with a girl at a BBQ and she's now making his plate for him at the cookout.

For a supposed progressive feminist, he sure does have some traditional views on what the woman is supposed to do for him.

 

[Adamska]

For a supposed progressive feminist, he sure does have some traditional views on what the woman is supposed to do for him.

He's a man who parrots feminism; of course he's a degenerate who only sees them as sexholes. I mean this is the guy who calls women sex dolls if he thinks he can get away with it.

 

[TowinKarz]

Bob's problems will never be resolved until he confronts his biggest issue (outside of his retardation): his ego. He can't handle the concept that he isn't perfect and superior to all lifeforms. It's hard for him to admit any fault. Combine that with his anger issues and stupidity, it's no wonder why so many things have derailed so badly in his life.

"Normal" people wake up and wonder : "What will happen today?"

People like Bob wake up and wonder : "How is the world going to fail to meet my expectations today?"

And that's no joke, that's how some people I've known really are - they feel they're too important to have to deal with 90% of the toil and frustration that goes into life.

The things that you or I accept as uncontrollable variables (rainy days canceling a baseball game) are, to people like Bob, targeted slights.... they honestly DO blame the weather... and if you ask them exactly what should have been done on the drive home from the PPD'd event, as nobody controls the weather, they will, without a hint of irony or hyperbole demand that someone invent a weather control machine.....as if that was the most obvious and feasible solution to the problem of rained-out ball games.