Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Positron]

Anita Whatshername says individuals are not responsible for climate change, and that anyone who thinks otherwise can fuck off. (This is incidentally what Peter Coffin has been preaching all along)
Bobby: She's right of course!

If you remember only one thing about Peter Coffin, it is that he believes consumer choices means nothing and cannot effect social change ever. Every ill in this world is the fault of "The System"; individuals are blameless. But I guess a pair of tits can turn the most odious sophistry into the most reasonable, indeed the sweetest, words of wisdom.

A Christian questions the soteriological implication of earthly immortality, ergo Christianity is a death cult.


+ + + +
Fap Widow:

The blonde is the only one worth fapping to though, but I guess different strokes for different folks.


If I want to see David Harbour I'd rather see him without that supermarket mascot costume.


$13.2M is a pittance.

Manchildish things:




It is never be too old to be a manchild:


Gay.



Bobby has salivated over Verhoeven's artsy lesbo nunsploitation film before.

 

[Grumpy Pickle Rick]

View attachment 2332044
If I want to see David Harbour I'd rather see him without that supermarket mascot costume.

Why do I get the feeling Bob likes red guardian because he’s a fat old man like him?

 

[Smithfield Ham]

Dear Mr. Chipman,

While we admire your interest in the Weyland-Yutani Bio-Cybernetic Enhancement Program, we regret to inform you that you did not meet the qualifications necessary for the corporation to approve your body to undergo the augmentation procedures. The reasons for your rejection are stated below:

* Subjects are required to be in peak physical condition before receiving augmentations. Your BMI, blood pressure, and poor performance on our physical exam fell far below the requirements. In addition, our physicians found that your body's high amount of fat would make creating incisions and applying sutures far too difficult to be viable. Our cybernetics can be extremely straining on even healthy bodies in the early stages, and applying them to your own would most likely cause catastrophic physical breakdown.

* Subjects are expected to follow good dietary habits. From what we monitored of your eating habits, your own diet seems to mostly consist of very unhealthy food with high fat and sugar content, and nominal nutritional value. The portion sizes for your average meal and regular snacks are far larger than necessary to meet the average person's nutritional needs. Of particular concern to our dieticians were the various meats you prepared for dinner, soaked in soda pop for flavor.

* Subjects are expected to regularly engage in exercise and live active, physical lives. Though you initially claimed that the videos you create for the internet contained "stunts and stuff" we found that your definition of "active and physical" fell well below our standards. If you cannot perform regular maintenance on your own physical body, how can you be expected to regularly maintain your cybernetic parts?

* Drug and alcohol use is absolutely not tolerated for the program. Subjects are expected to remain completely sober for at least a year prior to joining the program. Your claims of "occasional" alcohol usage would already be unacceptable, but our medical screening confirmed that you most likely consume alcohol on a nearly daily basis.

* Pre-existing health conditions are not at all a disqualifying factor for the program, but the symptoms and severity are required to be extremely well-managed. Our physical screenings have shown that your management of your Type-2 Diabetes is sub-optimal at best. Loss of life or damage to augmentations is a major concern for the program given the massive expense and high degree of expertise it requires to create the technology.

* It is preferred that subjects work in fields that require a high amount of physical labor. This is why low-income, blue-collar areas such as the American Midwest have been such a boon to the program. By all accounts, your profession requires little to no physical labor at all. The "stunts" you claim to perform in your videos consist of little more than small jumps and slow kicking.

Due to all the reasons above, we believe your body is not in an appropriate physical condition to receive cybernetic augmentation. We also do not believe that you are mentally equipped to deal with the high degree of responsibility and constant upkeep a cybernetic body would require. Though all of these problems are fixable, we do not believe you will be able to remedy all of this issues quickly enough to make accepting you into the program viable at this point. Please do not consider reapplying until your physical and mental conditions vastly change.

Signed,
Peter Coffin, Operational Director of Weyland-Yutani's Cyborg Initiative Program.

 

[CharlesBarkley]

"Big corporations are the ones that need to change, not me!" - A fat sad man who suffers from diabities.

Maybe, Bob. Maybe, if you didn't eat like a pig and consume enough sugar and red meat to destroy a third-world nation, you would have a better life. It could be worth trying.

 

[JayHarrison]

Dear Mr. Chipman,

While we admire your interest in the Weyland-Yutani Bio-Cybernetic Enhancement Program, we regret to inform you that you did not meet the qualifications necessary for the corporation to approve your body to undergo the augmentation procedures. The reasons for your rejection are stated below:

* Subjects are required to be in peak physical condition before receiving augmentations. Your BMI, blood pressure, and poor performance on our physical exam fell far below the requirements. In addition, our physicians found that your body's high amount of fat would make creating incisions and applying sutures far too difficult to be viable. Our cybernetics can be extremely straining on even healthy bodies in the early stages, and applying them to your own would most likely cause catastrophic physical breakdown.

* Subjects are expected to follow good dietary habits. From what we monitored of your eating habits, your own diet seems to mostly consist of very unhealthy food with high fat and sugar content, and nominal nutritional value. The portion sizes for your average meal and regular snacks are far larger than necessary to meet the average person's nutritional needs. Of particular concern to our dieticians were the various meats you prepared for dinner, soaked in soda pop for flavor.

* Subjects are expected to regularly engage in exercise and live active, physical lives. Though you initially claimed that the videos you create for the internet contained "stunts and stuff" we found that your definition of "active and physical" fell well below our standards. If you cannot perform regular maintenance on your own physical body, how can you be expected to regularly maintain your cybernetic parts?

* Drug and alcohol use is absolutely not tolerated for the program. Subjects are expected to remain completely sober for at least a year prior to joining the program. Your claims of "occasional" alcohol usage would already be unacceptable, but our medical screening confirmed that you most likely consume alcohol on a nearly daily basis.

* Pre-existing health conditions are not at all a disqualifying factor for the program, but the symptoms and severity are required to be extremely well-managed. Our physical screenings have shown that your management of your Type-2 Diabetes is sub-optimal at best. Loss of life or damage to augmentations is a major concern for the program given the massive expense and high degree of expertise it requires to create the technology.

* It is preferred that subjects work in fields that require a high amount of physical labor. This is why low-income, blue-collar areas such as the American Midwest have been such a boon to the program. By all accounts, your profession requires little to no physical labor at all. The "stunts" you claim to perform in your videos consist of little more than small jumps and slow kicking.

Due to all the reasons above, we believe your body is not in an appropriate physical condition to receive cybernetic augmentation. We also do not believe that you are mentally equipped to deal with the high degree of responsibility and constant upkeep a cybernetic body would require. Though all of these problems are fixable, we do not believe you will be able to remedy all of this issues quickly enough to make accepting you into the program viable at this point. Please do not consider reapplying until your physical and mental conditions vastly change.

Signed,
Peter Coffin, Operational Director of Weyland-Yutani's Cyborg Initiative Program.

That's just Bob's physical test results? I can only imagine how much worse Bob's mental acuity test results are...

 

[instythot]

Dear Mr. Chipman,

While we admire your interest in the Weyland-Yutani Bio-Cybernetic Enhancement Program, we regret to inform you that you did not meet the qualifications necessary for the corporation to approve your body to undergo the augmentation procedures. The reasons for your rejection are stated below:

* Subjects are required to be in peak physical condition before receiving augmentations. Your BMI, blood pressure, and poor performance on our physical exam fell far below the requirements. In addition, our physicians found that your body's high amount of fat would make creating incisions and applying sutures far too difficult to be viable. Our cybernetics can be extremely straining on even healthy bodies in the early stages, and applying them to your own would most likely cause catastrophic physical breakdown.

* Subjects are expected to follow good dietary habits. From what we monitored of your eating habits, your own diet seems to mostly consist of very unhealthy food with high fat and sugar content, and nominal nutritional value. The portion sizes for your average meal and regular snacks are far larger than necessary to meet the average person's nutritional needs. Of particular concern to our dieticians were the various meats you prepared for dinner, soaked in soda pop for flavor.

* Subjects are expected to regularly engage in exercise and live active, physical lives. Though you initially claimed that the videos you create for the internet contained "stunts and stuff" we found that your definition of "active and physical" fell well below our standards. If you cannot perform regular maintenance on your own physical body, how can you be expected to regularly maintain your cybernetic parts?

* Drug and alcohol use is absolutely not tolerated for the program. Subjects are expected to remain completely sober for at least a year prior to joining the program. Your claims of "occasional" alcohol usage would already be unacceptable, but our medical screening confirmed that you most likely consume alcohol on a nearly daily basis.

* Pre-existing health conditions are not at all a disqualifying factor for the program, but the symptoms and severity are required to be extremely well-managed. Our physical screenings have shown that your management of your Type-2 Diabetes is sub-optimal at best. Loss of life or damage to augmentations is a major concern for the program given the massive expense and high degree of expertise it requires to create the technology.

* It is preferred that subjects work in fields that require a high amount of physical labor. This is why low-income, blue-collar areas such as the American Midwest have been such a boon to the program. By all accounts, your profession requires little to no physical labor at all. The "stunts" you claim to perform in your videos consist of little more than small jumps and slow kicking.

Due to all the reasons above, we believe your body is not in an appropriate physical condition to receive cybernetic augmentation. We also do not believe that you are mentally equipped to deal with the high degree of responsibility and constant upkeep a cybernetic body would require. Though all of these problems are fixable, we do not believe you will be able to remedy all of this issues quickly enough to make accepting you into the program viable at this point. Please do not consider reapplying until your physical and mental conditions vastly change.

Signed,
Peter Coffin, Operational Director of Weyland-Yutani's Cyborg Initiative Program.

Even if Bob did manage to get the robot body he dreams of, why does he assume it will operate as he directs it instead of as the admins of robot body Corp direct it as he advocates for how Google, Facebook and twitter handle basic communications

 

[>tfw no Asian gf]

Even if Bob did manage to get the robot body he dreams of, why does he assume it will operate as he directs it instead of as the admins of robot body Corp direct it as he advocates for how Google, Facebook and twitter handle basic communications

Imagine if a company like EA or Activision ends up being the one in control of Bobs robot body and decide to turn him into a propaganda machine with the sole purpose of advertising their newest FPS game, that would be a fate worse than death for Bob

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Manchildish things:
View attachment 2332046

The Venture Brothers parodied superhero and action TV shows and movies, and developed highly involved lore and a surprisingly deep story while still remembering its roots. Bob likely only remembers the action and the sexy woman with the man's voice (who probably reminds him of the troons he follows on Twitter).

"Big corporations are the ones that need to change, not me!" - A fat sad man who suffers from diabities.

Maybe, Bob. Maybe, if you didn't eat like a pig and consume enough sugar and red meat to destroy a third-world nation, you would have a better life. It could be worth trying.

Red meat would be fine if he exercised something beyond his thumbs.

 

[That Guy Who Likes The Chili]

Anita Whatshername says individuals are not responsible for climate change, and that anyone who thinks otherwise can fuck off. (This is incidentally what Peter Coffin has been preaching all along)
Bobby: She's right of course!
View attachment 2332068

This shit drives me fucking insane with these people.
Didn't they just spend the last few years demanding we prostrate ourselves on the altar of Climate Change for their Lord and Savior Greta Troonberg because Climate change was each and every one of our individual faults and original sins because she "wasn't allowed" to go to autism school because of what we as individuals were doing to the planet?
I don't wanna derail, and I know Bobert is just simping for Anita here, but the flip flops these people have when it comes to Climate change and whose responsibility it is to fix it and who needs to eat the bugs and pay for it changes day by fucking day.

 

[Smithfield Ham]

"Big corporations are the ones that need to change, not me!" - A fat sad man who suffers from diabities.

Maybe, Bob. Maybe, if you didn't eat like a pig and consume enough sugar and red meat to destroy a third-world nation, you would have a better life. It could be worth trying.

He doesn't even realize this new idea his Teleseminar Scammer Mommy put in his head contradicts his entire backwards ass worldview. If it's institutions that create global problems and not individuals, that means his obsession with genociding all the dirty, lower class rural right-wingers is completely stupid and pointless, because it wouldn't help anything. Anita just accidentally destroyed every single idea he holds dear in his black, morbid, cholesterol clogged heart and he doesn't even realize it.

Imagine if a company like EA or Activision ends up being the one in control of Bobs robot body and decide to turn him into a propaganda machine with the sole purpose of advertising their newest FPS game, that would be a fate worse than death for Bob

We all know Bob couldn't afford the "Ability to read and write" brain implant DLC or the "Basic motor skills and walking" value pack needed for that.

 

[That Guy Who Likes The Chili]

He doesn't even realize this new idea his Teleseminar Scammer Mommy put in his head contradicts his entire backwards ass worldview. If it's institutions that create global problems and not individuals, that means his obsession with genociding all the dirty, lower class rural right-wingers is completely stupid and pointless, because it wouldn't help anything. Anita just accidentally destroyed every single idea he holds dear in his black, morbid, cholesterol clogged heart and he doesn't even realize it.

Bob is famous for changing his convictions and worldviews on a dime if there is a barely-twitter-famous pussy behind what he is agreeing with, that's why he has never gotten laid.
Women can tell when you are being disingenuous and its even easier when you have years of publicly documented internet spergering for them to go through.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

I'm against all the ”climate change will magically be solved if you get in the pod and eat bugs” stuff because the neolibs who propose it tend to stay well away from pods and bugs themselves.

Matthew's wrong, because you can do penance for your sins while you live, through what's unsurprisingly called the Sacrament of Penance.

Bob's wrong, because Christians don't worship death. If anything, Bob's side is the closest thing to a death cult given its insistence that death is the end and that we need to do anything to avoid death. Christianity views death as just another part of God's plan, while Bobism views death as some sort of evil to be destroyed.

 

[Koby_Fish]

I'm against all the ”climate change will magically be solved if you get in the pod and eat bugs” stuff because the neolibs who propose it tend to stay well away from pods and bugs themselves.

Matthew's wrong, because you can do penance for your sins while you live, through what's unsurprisingly called the Sacrament of Penance.

Bob's wrong, because Christians don't worship death. If anything, Bob's side is the closest thing to a death cult given its insistence that death is the end and that we need to do anything to avoid death. Christianity views death as just another part of God's plan, while Bobism views death as some sort of evil to be destroyed.

Bobbo's just parroting the fedora-tippers that call any religion a "Death Cult", but the way bob uses it, he's insinuating (or stating outright) that the beliefs of Christians lead to death (blaming them for stuff like anti-vaxx, for instance, or any other stance that is 'anti-science'), therefore it's a "death cult".

 

[Pokemonquistador2]

Bobbo's just parroting the fedora-tippers that call any religion a "Death Cult", but the way bob uses it, he's insinuating (or stating outright) that the beliefs of Christians lead to death (blaming them for stuff like anti-vaxx, for instance, or any other stance that is 'anti-science'), therefore it's a "death cult".

All I know was that, in the 20th Century, it wasn't Christians invading other countries and murdering millions of their own people via oppression and starvation, it was Marxist/Fascist ideologues. Let's have a look at the ringleaders, shall we?

Mao Zedong -Victims: 60 million
NOT A CHRISTIAN

Joseph Stalin - Victims: 40 million
NOT A CHRISTIAN

Adolf Hitler - Victims: 30 million
CHRISTIANITY DEBATABLE (Hitler was reportedly spiritual but was extremely cynical towards the Church, preferring to keep it around as a tool as long as it was useful.)

KING LEOPOLD II - Enslaved and/or killed 8 million
CHRISTIAN

HIDEKI TOJO -Victims (own people): 5 million
NOT A CHRISTIAN

ISMAIL ENVER PASHA - Victims: 2 million Armenians, Greeks and Assyrians
NOT A CHRISTIAN

POL POT -Victims: 1.7 million
NOT A CHRISTIAN

KIM ILSUNG - Victims (estimated) 1.6 million
NOT A CHRISTIAN

MENGISTU HAILE MARIAM (Ethiopian Communist) -Victims: 1.5 million
NOT A CHRISTIAN

Well, well, look at this. Of the people I've listed,maybe only one qualifies as a genuine Christian, seeing as he was buried in a Christian church (although he cheated on his wife and repeatedly denied his atrocities, so he probably wasn't a very good Christian.) To hear Bob talk about Christians, you would have thought that every one of these men listed above were Bible-shaking lunatics trying to impose a world theological government. Most people in the US tend to forget how persecuted Christians have been throughout the rest of the world, and we often take our religious freedom for granted. So when Bubblehead Bob shows up and starts shrieking about how the Godbotherers are going to take his Mario away and turn Boston into the Republic of Gilead, he sounds like a bully whining about how the skinny kid with asthma that he beat up was really a monster who could have beaten up half the school if he, the bully, hadn't of stomped him into the ground.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

+ + + +
Fap Widow:
View attachment 2332019
The blonde is the only one worth fapping to though, but I guess different strokes for different folks.

Those other Widows are barely even in the fucking movie.

As though they made an impression on anybody at all besides Bob.

 

[Koby_Fish]

All I know was that, in the 20th Century, it wasn't Christians invading other countries and murdering millions of their own people via oppression and starvation, it was Marxist/Fascist ideologues. Let's have a look at the ringleaders, shall we?

Mao Zedong -Victims: 60 million
NOT A CHRISTIAN

Joseph Stalin - Victims: 40 million
NOT A CHRISTIAN

Adolf Hitler - Victims: 30 million
CHRISTIANITY DEBATABLE (Hitler was reportedly spiritual but was extremely cynical towards the Church, preferring to keep it around as a tool as long as it was useful.)

KING LEOPOLD II - Enslaved and/or killed 8 million
CHRISTIAN

HIDEKI TOJO -Victims (own people): 5 million
NOT A CHRISTIAN

ISMAIL ENVER PASHA - Victims: 2 million Armenians, Greeks and Assyrians
NOT A CHRISTIAN

POL POT -Victims: 1.7 million
NOT A CHRISTIAN

KIM ILSUNG - Victims (estimated) 1.6 million
NOT A CHRISTIAN

MENGISTU HAILE MARIAM (Ethiopian Communist) -Victims: 1.5 million
NOT A CHRISTIAN

Well, well, look at this. Of the people I've listed,maybe only one qualifies as a genuine Christian, seeing as he was buried in a Christian church (although he cheated on his wife and repeatedly denied his atrocities, so he probably wasn't a very good Christian.) To hear Bob talk about Christians, you would have thought that every one of these men listed above were Bible-shaking lunatics trying to impose a world theological government. Most people in the US tend to forget how persecuted Christians have been throughout the rest of the world, and we often take our religious freedom for granted. So when Bubblehead Bob shows up and starts shrieking about how the Godbotherers are going to take his Mario away and turn Boston into the Republic of Gilead, he sounds like a bully whining about how the skinny kid with asthma that he beat up was really a monster who could have beaten up half the school if he, the bully, hadn't of stomped him into the ground.

Bob would likely look at the death toll caused by Marxist anti-"god-botherers" and say it's fine because the mayonnaise wasteland ghouls of their respective countries needed to be rendered obsolete in minecraft, and they were, so it's all good, right friendo? Bad things need to happen to bad people, and it obviously did! No more superstition standing in the way of the Soopeeryah Fyootchah that I earned!

 

[The Valeyard]

Those other Widows are barely even in the fucking movie

I did roll my eyes at how ethnically diverse these “Russian” agents were even though the film later justifies it when Dreykov‘s monologue implies that he’s been abducting girls from all over the globe. (“The only natural resource that the world has too much of, GIRLS!”)

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

"Big corporations are the ones that need to change, not me!" - A fat sad man who suffers from diabities.

Maybe, Bob. Maybe, if you didn't eat like a pig and consume enough sugar and red meat to destroy a third-world nation, you would have a better life. It could be worth trying.

Bob has demonstrated before, for as much as he bitches about climate change, that he's not willing to decrees his quality of life for anybody.

It's why he hates the hippie liberal types who want everybody to go back to living in teepees.

He just wants science to come up with the magic solution for unlimited clean energy with no downsides.

 

[Positron]

Matthew's wrong, because you can do penance for your sins while you live, through what's unsurprisingly called the Sacrament of Penance.

I see Matthew's question as "If we can live forever, what's the point in repenting?". This is a big question that can be understood in many, many ways. Here's just a few that pop up in my head.

• "If eternal life is already at hand and is totally independent of God, what is the point of appeasing God?" This is a very mercenary line of thought which I personally don't endorse, but can occur to some people.
• "If we are staying in this sinful world for an eternality, then we are going to sin and sin again for an eternality. Repenting will then be a pointless, Sisyphean exercise." I don't have an answer to this concern.
• "If we have unlimited time, we can thus put off repentance indefinitely, which is just to say we'll never have to repent at all". Like it or not, death is the horizon in view of which we conduct our lives. We plan our lives assuming we have such-and-such years to live. If the horizon is not in view, we lose our bearings. This is a concern raised by various existentialists, in particular Heidegger -- but then Heidegger was a Nazi so he should be canceled right?

Christianity views death as just another part of God's plan

My view is that death originated from human sin, which Jesus delivers us from.

 

[Oliver Onions]

Fap Widow:
View attachment 2332019
The blonde is the only one worth fapping to though, but I guess different strokes for different folks.

Nothing to do with Bob (who is still fat and sexless) but do my eyes deceive me or is every woman except the blonde in that photo a stunning & brave black kween?

Since there is absolutely no way I'm dumping 30 dollarydoos on this trash, @Gaear Grimsrud can you confirm/explain this?