Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[King Dead]

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Bob... knows that he would be put first on the wall, right? I can't think of anyone better who symbolizes a leech.

Not having seen the movie because lolMCU, all I really have to work with is Drinker's review because I haven't watched anyone else's (but I'm pretty sure other reviewers I follow will give similar takes):

I do find it hilarious how Bob's simping for this movie when by all but the most dickriding accounts, it's fairly mediocre even by Marvel standards. The plot is threadbare and nonsensical, the tone is all over the place because we can't actually have things get too serious, and the characters are one-dimensional, a literal joke, or actually pretty fucked up yet we're supposed to root for them anyway. And the "twist" that Taskmaster is actually the bad guy's daughter is so obvious in retrospect that I'm surprised I didn't guess it before, after all the other examples of this same exact trope of "imposing masked character is actually a girl" in recent years.

And when it specifically comes to these two characters, it sounds like emotional manipulation like only Marvel can pull off. Red Guardian is the comic relief, which was pretty obvious from the trailers, but apparently he doesn't even do much more than that, and it doesn't help that said "jokes" end up screwing up the tone. As Drinker put it, "Isn't it funny how the only two male characters in this film are either portrayed as weak and pathetic or dumb and comical? Just something to think about." And Melina is an evil character complicit in the bad guy's crimes for decades, literally torturing animals to come up with the shit that he uses to keep the Black Widows under his control, but apparently everyone just lets her off the hook in the end because she's really sorry I guess. When you consider that one of the writers from WandaVision worked on this too, that at least explains the dubious morality better.

Bob: Disney isn't going to hire you no matter how much praise you heap on their turds. You're an embarrassment.

 

[Koby_Fish]

Unless your brain is somehow preserved, I can't think of how your mind would be "uploaded" to a machine, leaving your meat body braindead. At best, it'd be a copy of your consciousness. Which means that, for all intents and purposes from the outside, you're immortal. However, that copy is exactly that. You, personally, will be dead, but your copy will live on. It's not true immortality.

And I don't think the Diabetic Dictator would go for that.

I think he saw the Season 2 Transformers episode "Autobot Spike" and like the autist he is, thought that a human's mind could literally be uploaded into a robot (without taking the brain out and putting it in the robot itself).

 

[Bland Crumbs]

Unless your brain is somehow preserved, I can't think of how your mind would be "uploaded" to a machine, leaving your meat body braindead. At best, it'd be a copy of your consciousness. Which means that, for all intents and purposes from the outside, you're immortal. However, that copy is exactly that. You, personally, will be dead, but your copy will live on. It's not true immortality.

And I don't think the Diabetic Dictator would go for that.

The only true immortality will be medical tech that keeps us young or slows aging to a crawl which is possible we just have not cracked it yet and may never do it(and that does not protect against accidental death even if we conquer all disease). OR the ability to transplant the brain into a new body which requires the ability to keep the brain healthy indefinitely which...again we have not cracked.

Any consciousness transfer shit creates a copy of you not your consciousness. Oh oh I forgot the really creepy thing is the copy of you would not feel like a copy it would essentially be you but not...everything went black when you died then there is this fucking Memorex you creepin' around spending your money!

I would put my brain in a robot body...I would be an Adrienne Barbeau-bot with chainsaw hands and crime fighting jugs!

 

[God of Nothing]

Funny how he was taught religion, learned he can have immortality by not being a sinning asshole (or at least being repentant of being a sinning asshole), but he somehow got convinced either in his own head or by someone else that God doesn't realz (TBH a lot of "Fortunate Inconsistencies" of the Cathlic Church do turn a number of people off Christianity) and so he wants temporal immortality via brain uploaded into Ghost In the Shell body, because he thinks that's the only immortality there is.

There's uploading your brain, but the question becomes, can you actually upload your soul to such a thing (if you don't do it like Major Kusanagi who still had her actual brain)? I would LMAO if Bob, having reached his soopeeryah fyootchah(tm), all ready to upload his consciousness to a robot body, but either:
1) Nothing happens and he's stuck in meatspace because it's impossible to upload a "soul" into a robot body
or
2) he goes directly to Hell, do not pass Go, do not collect $200.

Immortality is the oldest, most basic "Be careful what you wish for" trap/story in existence. It's no surprise Bob would want it. What amazes me is that he thinks it'll happen in our lifetime or a literal nobody like him would be given it. He's that one guy who gets turned into a vampire in the VTM universe and doesn't realize he's going to hell since crazy shit really exists, going to be fat forever, and is just some eternal bootlicker to some older, richer/more powerful cunt.

I guess he'd be happy playing Mario forever, but that's a fate worse than death to any sensible person.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

He knows. He was a randroid, but he's painted himself into a corner where the only people who will suck his e-cock are trannies, male feminists and non-tankie commie larpers.

If he responded the way any right thinking person would, "LOL, are you 13?" he'd lose followers and possibly patreon golds.

Yeah, I don't think he's actually big on communism. He just doesn't want to alienate the very few people who are in his corner.

Didn't he call Marx an idiot or something once?

 

[Arthur Morgan]

Unless your brain is somehow preserved, I can't think of how your mind would be "uploaded" to a machine, leaving your meat body braindead. At best, it'd be a copy of your consciousness. Which means that, for all intents and purposes from the outside, you're immortal. However, that copy is exactly that. You, personally, will be dead, but your copy will live on. It's not true immortality.

And I don't think the Diabetic Dictator would go for that.

He expects scientists to wave their magic wand (Or as he calls it, "thinking") and solve the problem instantly because that's what happens in his movies.

Also, he genuinely doesn't understand the actual science behind such concepts. Like space travel, he believes if NASA got a shit ton of money, we'd have space ships capable of FTL travel and he could captain his own ship.

Bob never grew out of that phase of childhood where due to a lack of understanding, magic and science are interchangeable, and weird shit in cartoons and movies seem feasible.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

A Black Widow would have been fine if it were made in 2016 before she gets killed off.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

Disney's John Carter is a legit fun swashbuckle fun adventure, sucks it didn't get the deserved attention, but them the breaks.

Honestly I really liked "John Carter". It was based off an earlier work IIRC.
I'm almost glad it didn't do to well though, because then you know The Mouse would have made it into a franchise.

Same way the same people often claim capitalism and colonialism were the worst things ever while praising communist states that wiped out vastly higher numbers of innocent people, and far more often by direct murderous intent rather than factory deaths or disease outbreaks. I'm pretty sure Pol's regime alone killed more civilians than ever died of industrial accidents and capitalist policies, and he's on the lowest end of dictatorship death tolls.

Usually when they do that, they just add in shit like "deaths from wars" and "deaths from hunger"; because apparently when we embrace communism there will be no hunger or war.

This bulbous mass has giddily expressed a desire to have a cold war again, yet he doesn't have a problem with the ideology that we opposed in the original one in the first place?

But as to being put against the wall? Bob thinks he's some great intellect, so of course he thinks he'd avoid a 7.62mm lobotomy.

He wants a hot war with Russia because Russia = BAD! and evil Putin helped Pmurt delay the Superior Future for 4 whole years (in his eyes).
He likes communism because in his eyes communism = free gibsmedats and you don't even have to work.

What he doesn't understand is the commies would kill him for his corporate bootlicking, and the corporate neolib overlords he salivates for would kick him to the curb just as fast if his commie simping ever actually threatened the western order.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

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Bob... knows that he would be put first on the wall, right? I can't think of anyone better who symbolizes a leech.

Every single fucking thing Marvel puts out, there's Bob going, "Amazing! Instantly iconic character!"

Bob, nobody gives a fuck about Red Guardian. Kids aren't gonna want a Red Guardian action figure. Kids are gonna fucking hate this movie. Kids will probably think this is the most boring Marvel movie ever. There was a little girl screaming through the whole fucking thing when I went to see it, probably because she was so antsy because this movie is so slow, and none of the cool Avengers are in it.

Doug Walker also said there were kids getting agitated in his theater.

 

[Bolo]

Yeah, I don't think he's actually big on communism. He just doesn't want to alienate the very few people who are in his corner.

Didn't he call Marx an idiot or something once?

He isn't... well, to be fair most internet communists aren't real commies, it is just larping.

Regardless, no Robert ain't no commie. What Robert says on his political inclinations is just "I'm a pragmatist" and he belives in the global future where the special people in urban cities of arts and science make the rules, and he thinks voting blindly democrat will help such future come.

Robert says that so he can keep his "I'm a individual, not a sheep", like everybody else on the internet, everybody thinks that they are the ones to see the man behind the curtain, and they are super aware of all the political tricks and propagandas "No, you see, the OTHERS are usefull idiots, I know what is up"

But on the same breath Robert talks extreme tribal shit, adores con artists like AOC, up till recently thought that the breadtubers were a force for good in the world and has this simplistic vison of "diversity - good white - American imperialism". As you can tell, a lot of the politics Robert takes is just regurgitated from main strem outlets, except, like every lefty on twitter, they pretend to be "too cool for school" and deny that they are just parroting CNN.

The only thing "original" about Robert is the "superior future" bullshit, and I don't think even he really belives that, it is more a fantasy that he likes to indulge, because he considers himself to be one of the enlighted citzens of the city of arts and Science, it is a way for someone whop doesn't have much in life to feel special.

As for what Robert REALLY wants, that is easy, fame, money and pussy, like everybody else. But he doesn't have it, and instead of sucking it up and just dealing with it, Robert chose the road of impotent rage on twitter and now he has 4000 pages on the farms which is mostly likely his biggest acomplishment he had on his life.

Do any of you have 4k pages on KF? Thought so friendos

 

[>tfw no Asian gf]

I was thinking of writing a lenghty post regarding inmortality and it's consequences but I'm currently dying due to a severe fever so I'm going to make a short observation regarding how a society of ageless inmortals might look like in the future, it'll probably look like the Eldar from 40k or the Fallen Empires from Stellaris, societies that are purely driven to the pursuit of pleasure, all the goods are produced by machines and a small group of individuals are in charge of overseeing the administration of everything else that can't be done by a machine, the only way a society like that changes is through a violent event coming from the outside, in the case of the Eldar was their sheer degeneracy manifesting a dark god into the warp wich them to collapse, the Fallen Empires from Stellaris "wake up" depending on their ethics and the state of the Galaxy, my favourite is when the Spiritualist FE wakes up due to some retard commiting space Haram either by colonizing one of their holy worlds or by abandoning their original bodies and replacing them with robot bodies. Stellaris is a fun game.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

Buck the fuck up, Bob. Things ain't so bad.

Try living in Africa.

 

[Jetpack Himmler]

I thought I would post this YouTube video as it immediately made me think about Bob.

The TL;DR version of it is that "Progressives"/SJW infested various fandoms to make the established fans miserable because they themselves are miserable people. Look at Bob. Despite his slobbering over the MCU, Bob is one of the most miserable cunts I have had the misfortune of stumbling across on the Internet. Methinks that some of his entertainment comes from sticking his thumb at the people his has nothing contempt for because he wants them to be as miserable as he is. Even if Mama Hillary gave him everything he could ever want, he would still be the bitter asshole he is now as someone has to suffer for him to feel the smallest inkling of fulfillment. People like Bob can never be truly happy or content with their lives and thus seek to drag others down with them.

 

[JayHarrison]

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Bob... knows that he would be put first on the wall, right? I can't think of anyone better who symbolizes a leech.

Well, Bob would know, being a perpetaul dumbass and all.

---

Funny how he was taught religion, learned he can have immortality by not being a sinning asshole (or at least being repentant of being a sinning asshole), but he somehow got convinced either in his own head or by someone else that God doesn't realz (TBH a lot of "Fortunate Inconsistencies" of the Cathlic Church do turn a number of people off Christianity) and so he wants temporal immortality via brain uploaded into Ghost In the Shell body, because he thinks that's the only immortality there is.

There's uploading your brain, but [...] can you actually upload your soul to such a thing (if you don't do it like Major Kusanagi who still had her actual brain)? I would LMAO if Bob, having reached his soopeeryah fyootchah(tm), all ready to upload his consciousness to a robot body, but either:
1) Nothing happens and he's stuck in meatspace because it's impossible to upload a "soul" into a robot body
or
2) he goes directly to Hell, do not pass Go, do not collect $200.

Me: "Computer, run <MoviebobBrain.dat>."

Computer: "Running <MoviebobBrain>: [prolonged 'duh' voice clip]"

Me: "OK, Computer. Now run <MoviebobSoul.dat>."

Computer: "File <MoviebobSoul> not found."

 

[Grumpy Pickle Rick]

It's not even that logical, it's just ego. Despite all his ranting about science bob can't except the idea that he's just a finite meat bag and the universe doesn't even know he exists let alone care.

Exactly!

Why is that people like Bob can’t let go of their pride and accept their role in the universe?

Immortality is the oldest, most basic "Be careful what you wish for" trap/story in existence. It's no surprise Bob would want it. What amazes me is that he thinks it'll happen in our lifetime or a literal nobody like him would be given it. He's that one guy who gets turned into a vampire in the VTM universe and doesn't realize he's going to hell since crazy shit really exists, going to be fat forever, and is just some eternal bootlicker to some older, richer/more powerful cunt.

I guess he'd be happy playing Mario forever, but that's a fate worse than death to any sensible person.

That’s one thing that ticks me off about Bob and his kind. They wish for fantasical things like immortality or superpowers or Pokémon but do they actually think about the consequences of their wishes? There’s always a downside to everything.

You can’t take the good without the bad.

As for what Robert REALLY wants, that is easy, fame, money and pussy, like everybody else.

 

[Mr Snek]

Immortality is the oldest, most basic "Be careful what you wish for" trap/story in existence. It's no surprise Bob would want it. What amazes me is that he thinks it'll happen in our lifetime or a literal nobody like him would be given it. He's that one guy who gets turned into a vampire in the VTM universe and doesn't realize he's going to hell since crazy shit really exists, going to be fat forever, and is just some eternal bootlicker to some older, richer/more powerful cunt.

I guess he'd be happy playing Mario forever, but that's a fate worse than death to any sensible person.

I've probably thought about this more than I should, but here's my thoughts on how an immortal moviebob would go. For the first few decades, I imagine he'd be happy enough, playing bing bing wahoo and eating mcdonalds for every meal. But at some point, he'd start to realise that he doesn't get as excited playing Mario and watching capeshit any more, and he'd start furiously trying to play them even more to stop this apathy. Maybe at some point he'd even try consooming other types of media to fill the void, but eventually his dopamine receptors would be completely dead to all of it and Moviebob would spent the rest of eternity rocking back and forth in the corner, wondering why bing bing wahoo has stopped being fun.

 

[Boston Brand]

Disney's John Carter is a legit fun swashbuckle fun adventure, sucks it didn't get the deserved attention, but them the breaks.

To me, Disney is at it's best when not ridding high on their massive popular formulas.

Back when they were still figuring out the market for feature animated films, they experimented with Fantasia. When Animated movies fell out of popularity and Disney started to focus on live action stuff like Mary Poppins, the animation side of things started to move away from the fairy tales and we got Jungle book.

When the 90's Disney Renaissaince started to cool down and things like Tarzan and Mulan weren't doing so hot, Disney changed gears and made some of their best movies in my opinion, Atlantis is flawed but such a great adventure and characters, Meet the Robinsons just now is getting it's dues to some of the best storytelling Disney ever put out there and to me, Emperor's new Groove is the smartest disney animated movie out there, and the funniest as well.

Sure, back in the 2000, Pixar was at the height of their powers, and Dreamworks was doing their waves... and Disney wasn't helping releasing turds like Home on the Range, but amidst all that, Disney made some of their best work, and nobody noticed because it wasn't "Disney"

John Carter was great... and you know whats awful?

Disney chose to largely let it flounder without much marketing and a bad release date because they were already making plans to buy Lucasfilm.

Why make an original scifi franchise when you can make Star Wars movies? Those are liscence to print money, Disney will be making billions off yearly Star Wars movies for years. What, like they'll wreck everything barely halfway through a new trilogy they just made up on the fly?

(Mr Plinkett voice.) OH.

 

[Berrakh]

The only reason Bob isn't a male feminist sex pest is he's repulsive.
But the woke will absolutely crush the "established fans" and it won't even be close,

 

[Arthur Morgan]

That’s one thing that ticks me off about Bob and his kind. They wish for fantasical things like immortality or superpowers or Pokémon but do actually think about the consequences of their wishes? There’s always a downside to everything.

You can’t the good without the bad.

"Thinking about the possible consequences makes you an obsolete mayo ghoul and it's people like you who are the only reason we don't have magical space ships."

As for why he wants immortality, I wonder if it's because he knows he doesn't have long to go and is wishing for more time to achieve his goals? Get into shape, have a family, make some movies, become a billionaire, enact his vengeance upon those who bullied him, that kind of shit. But he doesn't seem to understand that even if he was immortal, people would still be able to look him up and see what a piece of shit he is, and he's never had the personal drive to accomplish any of those things.

He should want to time travel back to 2008 just before he started Game Overthinker, before anyone knew who he was and he hadn't completely fucked his reputation. Then he could fuck it up in even newer and more hilarious ways.

 

[Brother Wind]

Why make an original scifi franchise when you can make Star Wars movies?

I'm excited to know when that was their plan