Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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This sort of thinking manifests itself in one, single, profoundly retarded phrase that Bob and his kind shout incessantly: "You're on the wrong side of history." They're all convinced that they are going to win and have an IngSoc like grip on the world and erase all the opposition because destiny is destiny or something. They ought to know that everything else in the past lays such ambition out as a massive pipe dream, but I can't say whether it's more ignorance or denial that they don't.

If he actually cracked open a book instead of fucking about in the Mushroom Kingdom half his goddamned life, he would understand that point.

It bears repeating even if I've said this before: history isn't a straight line. Civilization has collapsed. Dark ages have come. Empires and superpowers rise and fall. It's all cyclical in a way, but it all leads to momentous progress followed by devolution of sorts. You can't predict the next course of anything with great certainty.

Much like the "winning history" thing, Bob's profoundly uninformed and incorrect mind came up with this notion that the cartoons he watched presaged the future. They all just had to be inevitable. He would have his flying cars and robot soul machines and robohookers and blackjack parlors run by Flexo and what not.

But, again, you can't come close to fully predicting the future. Did those cartoons show we'd have the Internet? As others have pointed out, did the policy makers in the 90's declaring the "end of history" ever have an inkling that we'd be dicking about in Afghanistan for 20 years to no avail? No one fucking did. Hell, I played a Top Gun game in 2001 that predicted the next major theme of warfare would be over water and resources in the Arctic. Big whiff on that one.

Devoting yourself to an ideal is one thing. Basing your entire belief system around using pop culture as an oracle is beyond pathetic.

People have told Bob before that progress isn't a straight line, and all Bob can say to that is "I'm tired of waiting."

Well, who gives a fuck? The world is full of people who don't get what they want.
 
Devoting yourself to an ideal is one thing. Basing your entire belief system around using pop culture as an oracle is beyond pathetic.
I could give him a modicum of credit if he actually was part of the pop culture scene that was around instead of being a grumpy old man who wasted his youth on Nintendo and eating enough junk food to give himself diabetes.

Instead he affixes himself to the extreme areas that was, at best, concept or throw away fads that fell out of popularity half a decade in.

In his world, people in the 90's were in blue silk suits sipping on Zima and discussing the political dynamics of Zippy The Pinhead.
 
The appeal to future vindication is so fascinating, but equally so is how retarded it is. For all we know future generations will condemn us all because we own pets and eat meats, and our Gerbil overlords don't like it anymore.

Also, since Bob is deluded and considers himself clever and an author, why hasn't he done any meaningful indie work in the entirety of his career? I bet he can find some indie programmer saps to saddle with all his mediocrity if he wanted to create a game. The man has more opportunity than most would need, and squanders it constantly.
 
Well, let's be fair, he did also like Dragonball Z. Which came out in America when he was in college. God, he really has always had such childish tastes.
Bob's dumbass take on Dragon Ball
The standard MCU villain is either "evil version of the main character" or "completely forgettable schmuck."

I liked Guardians of the Galaxy, and I couldn't tell you a single personality trait of Ronan the Hammer Guy.
Bob's dumbass Marvel villians Top 10
 
The World Trade Center Bombing, Ruby Ridge, the Branch Davidians, Oklahoma City Bombing, Lewinsky Scandal, Whitewater and the Clintons, and we became more politically divided with Clinton and Newt Gingrich hell Reagan and Tip O'Neill use to have drinks together every week.
You also had Columbine as well,
 
Does Bob even realize how American-centric he is?

In his Really That Good of Independence Day he talked about how great the message was of the entire planet coming together in the face of a common enemy.

The actual message of that movie was how the Earth needs to come together to defeat the aliens.......but America is still the best and everybody needs to line up behind us.
 
'Winning history' is also a central theme to the dialectical nonsense that underpins a lot of why woke progressives are as fucked up as they are; the idea that history is a socio-political struggle between progressive and reactionary ideologies that is 'won' cyclically, creating societal progress.

Which is a belief that, if you know anything at all about the basic behavioral nature of both regular people and the puffed up autistic douchebags who indulge in this kind of brain-rot, you'd quickly recognize is as nutty as monkey shit. These people huff it like turpentine.

Even Blob and his ilk, who don't have the gears needed to grind together and realize it.

Bob is taking an old idea like "Whig History" and slapping a coat of retro paint on it (thanks to his visit to Epcot Center and his watching of Star Trek, which told him that Science was going to swoop in like a god and deliver him from the vagaries of Nature and MAGA Ghouls.)

Also, "We're on the Right Side of History" is just the atheist science-worshipper's equivalent of "God is On Our Side."
 
This sort of thinking manifests itself in one, single, profoundly retarded phrase that Bob and his kind shout incessantly: "You're on the wrong side of history." They're all convinced that they are going to win and have an IngSoc like grip on the world and erase all the opposition because destiny is destiny or something. They ought to know that everything else in the past lays such ambition out as a massive pipe dream, but I can't say whether it's more ignorance or denial that they don't.

If he actually cracked open a book instead of fucking about in the Mushroom Kingdom half his goddamned life, he would understand that point.

It bears repeating even if I've said this before: history isn't a straight line. Civilization has collapsed. Dark ages have come. Empires and superpowers rise and fall. It's all cyclical in a way, but it all leads to momentous progress followed by devolution of sorts. You can't predict the next course of anything with great certainty.

Much like the "winning history" thing, Bob's profoundly uninformed and incorrect mind came up with this notion that the cartoons he watched presaged the future. They all just had to be inevitable. He would have his flying cars and robot soul machines and robohookers and blackjack parlors run by Flexo and what not.

But, again, you can't come close to fully predicting the future. Did those cartoons show we'd have the Internet? As others have pointed out, did the policy makers in the 90's declaring the "end of history" ever have an inkling that we'd be dicking about in Afghanistan for 20 years to no avail? No one fucking did. Hell, I played a Top Gun game in 2001 that predicted the next major theme of warfare would be over water and resources in the Arctic. Big whiff on that one.

Devoting yourself to an ideal is one thing. Basing your entire belief system around using pop culture as an oracle is beyond pathetic.
In short Hegel was always right and you can't end the dialogue, as much as these retards who eat crayons and dribble microdoses of Marx's bullshit and that end of history retard think.
 
Does Bob even realize how American-centric he is?
No.

Neither he, his angels, nor his defenders have any real experience with cultures beyond the US of A. The only foreign culture Bob himself has come close to experiencing is Japanese (and even that was because of Bing Bing Wahoo).
 
No.

Neither he, his angels, nor his defenders have any real experience with cultures beyond the US of A. The only foreign culture Bob himself has come close to experiencing is Japanese (and even that was because of Bing Bing Wahoo).

And never will as that would imply them accepting the fact they have been a bunch of spergs whose only job is to justify why cautionary tales exist. Because of their refusal to learn, and admit they are wrong. Or to accept the other side is not the monsters they paint them to be.
 
I guess Moviebob saw the collapse of the Berlin wall/the end of teh Soviet Union, and autistically associated it with the pop culture of the late 80s and early 90s, and called it "we thought we won history".

But that entire concept "We thought we'd just won history" has no meaning. You don't 'win history'. That's not a thing that can happen. You can "win" the "Cold War", which is probably what Bob was thinking of, but "winning history" is such an autistic thing, only Bob could have thought of it.
They only people who thought they had just "won history" were followers of Francis Fukuyama and his thesis of "The End of History" - that modern secular, liberal, capitalist democracy was the final end point of political evolution and that this was the natural future of all nations. Of course, events from September 2001 onward have suggested otherwise.

But I highly doubt little Bob was aware of Fukuyama and his theory when he was ten years old and still dreaming of escaping to the Mushroom Kingdom. In fact, I highly doubt he heard of it at all until relatively recently as he was probably skimming Wikipedia.
 
In short Hegel was always right and you can't end the dialogue, as much as these retards who eat crayons and dribble microdoses of Marx's bullshit and that end of history retard think.

The end of history guy was basically saying that capitalism and democracy won the cold war and had no credible challengers or alternatives. Thus the whole world would soon end up capitalist and democractic, and all the bigger wars and whatnot would be no more.

This clearly hasn't happened, but even if it was, I'm pretty sure its not the sort of future Roberts sycophant followers would want. And it might not even be what Robert wants, but its hard to tell what stuff he really believes beyond "I should get the stuff I want
mainly women
".
 
People have told Bob before that progress isn't a straight line, and all Bob can say to that is "I'm tired of waiting."

Well, who gives a fuck? The world is full of people who don't get what they want.
I do love that Bob assumes he's going to see his grand future at some point in his lifetime. It'll prevent him from ever accomplishing anything and leave him a raging incel for the rest of his days. And we'll be there to laugh at him.

Does Bob even realize how American-centric he is?

In his Really That Good of Independence Day he talked about how great the message was of the entire planet coming together in the face of a common enemy.

The actual message of that movie was how the Earth needs to come together to defeat the aliens.......but America is still the best and everybody needs to line up behind us.
No, because that would make him an ignorant obsolete. Robert Chipman is obviously an intellegent, worldly man who under stands that science and a one-world government will lead us to the superior future.
 
Sorry everyone, I let my autism take the driver's seat for a bit.

While perusing this thread, I saw the Bob changed his name to something Kurosawa-related (yes, I know it's from a BNL song). This piqued my curiosity. As much as he spergs about fucking Star Wars, I don't recall hearing him talk about Kurosawa. This sent me on a quest to try and find Bob referencing Kurosawa and only found an article where he spergs like Scorsese. (https://archive.md/mnHZC)

I did stumble across an Escapist forum post featuring this post:

2021-09-18_20-22-46.png

I tried using the links but they appeared to be broken. I did manage to find the original articles though. I apologize if these have been posted before, the search function kept crashing at the time of this posting.
Movie Nerd Bible Part I: https://archive.md/Tncp1
Movie Nerd Bible Part II: https://archive.md/cS2yQ

If you're wondering what Critical Miss issue he's talking about in Part I, I managed to archive that as well.
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If you care to know what Bob's Third Rule is, I archived that as well since the link in the article is broken (https://archive.md/NZD5P).

As many people have already pointed out, Bob is obsessed with muh 80's pop culture. This is extremely evident with the second list as 78% of it is 80s movies and the most modern movie is a shitty Indiana Jones sequel. As much as I hate to give Bob any credit, the first list is actually pretty decent, but he also mentions his editor helping him come across as coherent.

Anyway, I know this is old news but thought I would just archive it in case someone else wants to subjugate themselves to torture and read some of Bob's shitty takes on movies.
 
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