Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Judge Holden]

In a coffin.

In several coffins

 

[Mola Ram]

In several coffins

Nah.

It's waiting, Bob!

 

[Judge Holden]

Nah.

View attachment 340244

It's waiting, Bob!

Nigga, how the FUCK are you supposed to get that shit out of a basement?

No. The only logical solution is to cut the bloated corpse into human sized chunks, coffin them up, and take em out one my one

 

[Mola Ram]

Nigga, how the FUCK are you supposed to get that shit out of a basement?

No. The only logical solution is to cut the bloated corpse into human sized chunks, coffin them up, and take em out one my one

Typically they cut holes out of the house's outer wall, widening a window or the like.

The real question is how long it'll take the ME to stop laughing when they find a dead morbidly obese man in Mario lingerie.

 

[Gordon Cole]

You're all not thinking big enough:

 

[Slowboat to China]

Bob is amazing. He's a living incitement to both trollshielding and A-Logging. At this point, I'd say it's a 50/50 chance that I'll be in church on Sunday and some stray little neuron of my brain will pop up in the middle of the Agnus Dei and go "Man, isn't Bob an asshole?"

On the other hand, he'll never reproduce, so at least the Chipman rot stops here.

 

[RodgerDodger]

The real question is how long it'll take the ME to stop laughing when they find a dead morbidly obese man in Mario lingerie.

I think at this point they have a quick entry code for it in the ME’s database. “Powerscribe Millenial Rule34 Normal”. Beep!

 

[RockVolnutt]

Does Bob's brother have any children or at least a wife? Not to say everyone has to (or should) start a family but I could imagine how tragic it'd be for their parents to know their lineage ends with Bob. Never to see their boys surpass them and feel pride in knowing their efforts produced a good man or the joy of hearing their grandchild's giggles.

Instead Mr. Chipman died while his middle aged obese son was masturbating to Nazi Supergirl in a smelly basement before going on about why we need a genocide of workers and whites. I don't even know any words that illustrate that level of shame.

 

[Doug_Hitzel]

Does Bob's brother have any children or at least a wife? Not to say everyone has to (or should) start a family but I could imagine how tragic it'd be for their parents to know their lineage ends with Bob. Never to see their boys surpass them and feel pride in knowing their efforts produced a good man or the joy of hearing their grandchild's giggles.

Instead Mr. Chipman died while his middle aged obese son was masturbating to Nazi Supergirl in a smelly basement before going on about why we need a genocide of workers and whites. I don't even know any words that illustrate that level of shame.

His brother does have children. And hopefully Bob won’t molest them, because he really is the creepy uncle in the basement. They all float down there.

 

[Odie Esty]

...Has Bob ever heard of the Cultural Revolution? China's track record is uh, less than stellar.

 

[Mola Ram]

Does Bob's brother have any children or at least a wife? Not to say everyone has to (or should) start a family but I could imagine how tragic it'd be for their parents to know their lineage ends with Bob. Never to see their boys surpass them and feel pride in knowing their efforts produced a good man or the joy of hearing their grandchild's giggles.

Instead Mr. Chipman died while his middle aged obese son was masturbating to Nazi Supergirl in a smelly basement before going on about why we need a genocide of workers and whites. I don't even know any words that illustrate that level of shame.

Frankly Bob makes a hell of a lot more sense if you assume his parents were scumbags and Bob himself is a physical manifestation of a punishment from God.

...Has Bob ever heard of the Cultural Revolution? China's track record is uh, less than stellar.

Cultural Revolution? Someone needs to tell this jackass about the laogai, which are still in full operation; or about Liu Xiaobo, who mercifully died of cancer this year after decades of abuse at the regime's hands; or about the traveling execution Winnebagos, or ...

Ah, fuck it. All just eggs for the Superior Future omelet, amirite?

EDIT: Beg forgiveness for the double post.

 

[Flexo]

...Has Bob ever heard of the Cultural Revolution? China's track record is uh, less than stellar.

Maybe Bob is Hitler reincarnated. It would explain both the crime and punishment as well as the rantings.

 

[Mola Ram]

Maybe Bob is Hitler reincarnated. It would explain both the crime and punishment as well as the rantings.

"Suck my half-empty nutsack, you son of a bitch, how dare you."
- Adolf "Dolfy" Hitler, roasting in the ninth level of Hell.

 

[Positron]

What exactly does Bob think he's gonna do in the unlikely scenario he somehow ends up moving to China? Fatty certainly isn't going to be able to keep his online "jobs" with how censored the Internet is over there. He ain't gonna make it in Hong Kong either, they expect you to actually run a real business.

His "business" isn't exactly compatible with The Great Wall of Fire. Hong Kong has a facade of granting citizenship to creative types, but they only want world famous personalities, and anyway Hong Kong is too small to house his fat bulk.

...Has Bob ever heard of the Cultural Revolution? China's track record is uh, less than stellar.

What do you mean?!??!?! They had a female emperor in the Tang dynasty!

 

[Doug_Hitzel]

His "business" isn't exactly compatible with The Great Wall of Fire. Hong Kong has a facade of granting citizenship to creative types, but they only want world famous personalities, and anyway Hong Kong is too small to house his fat bulk.

Hong Kong don’t want that kaiju-looking motherfucker to attack them. I guess Bob could always cameo in Pacific Rim 2. Asians love giant robots fighting against giant monsters.

 

[Gordon Cole]

Militants like Bob make me slightly ashamed to be pro-choice.

Eid ECI, Eid!

I mean, your life certainly feels like a sick, sad joke.

I can't give dang, dirty Rockstar any credit!

"My name is not important..."

 

[RockVolnutt]

GTA having playable female protagonists has been a thing since the beginning. Not that the ones in those early games had much in the way of personality but the same could be said for Mario. Black women too if that adds bonus points.

 

[Zbk3VmLfujjzjxBd43tL]

...Has Bob ever heard of the Cultural Revolution? China's track record is uh, less than stellar.

Of course he has, and Bob wants a Cultural Revolution here in the US.

 

[LN 910]

GTA having playable female protagonists has been a thing since the beginning. Not that the ones in those early games had much in the way of personality but the same could be said for Mario. Black women too if that adds bonus points.

So... early GTA had strong female leads?

I have to give Bob this, in a roundabout way he does point out that clickbait basic bitches would fucking ree over the representation not being good enough.

 

[RodgerDodger]

Maybe Bob is Hitler reincarnated. It would explain both the crime and punishment as well as the rantings.

Well the religious among us have long felt Hitler was rotting in hell. Somehow the Hitler -> MovieBob hypothesis manages to Square both Western faith’s belief in Hell and Eastern faiths belief in reincarnation. Your soul can’t do worse than MovieBob on the great cosmic circle of life.