Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?

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So... wasn't as horrible as the first 2 parts but still, TL;DW :

Bob's complaints :
Zack Snyder is a good director but couldn't save this movie
The Batman Vs. Superman fight itself sucks.
The movie is gratuitously edgy and gritty.
Bob wants to fix the movie by getting rid of batman
and changing it to Man of Steel 2: Supes Vs. Lex Luthor

For a more in-depth synopsis:

Chob Bipman starts his intro with hope for flashpoint reboot, a jab against bitcoin, and his Segway about Zack Snyder. He claims Zack Snyder is a good action director but majorly fucked up the action in the Batman vs. Superman fight scenes, the main event of the movie. He also states that the rest of the movie could have been possibly forgivable if the actual fight was any good. He then cites Wonder Woman as an example as he believes though the movie dragged on a bit and had a weak ending but the action stuff more than made up for it.

Bob next breaks down the entire fight itself by comparing it to the same fight in the Dark Knight Returns. He claims the movie fight is a homage and is a near shot for shot remake of the comic fight. It works in the comic because it is a deconstruction of what batman and superman had become in the comic, while in the movie they are just uselessly wrestling each other into submission for no real thematic reason. Bob desired a more typical fight between superman and batman.
Gadgets vs. strength.
Supes' heroic optimism vs. Bats' brooding pessimism.
The man that can do anything vs. the man that's planned everything.
shit like that.

In the next part Bobby boy recites how great of a director Snyder is. Then begins citing 300, The Watchmen movie, and Suckerpunch. However Bob believes Snyder failed with BvS because Snyder didn't 100% get the superhero satire in Alan Moore's Watchmen, For example in Watchmem film is softer on the superhero deconstruction and made the action more cool and less miserably brutal. Bob also then wastes 10 minutes talking about the entire political history on why Alan Moore wanted to make Watchmen. This leads to Bob saying that Snyder gratuitously made the BvS movie dark and gritty because Snyder enjoyed the darkness and grit in Watchmen at face value.

And then a fountainhead synopsis, just cause.

Blob Chimpman in his third segment declares the BvS movie as "cultural vandalism." Bob says that Starship Troopers is one of his favorite movies because it's satire by adaptation of the pro-military novels of the same name. Blob the believes the BvS movies feels like a deconstruction but without a reason why, as Superman acts like Dr. Manhattan, Batman is incredibly miserable, and the supporting cast is unlikeable.

In his final segment, he claims the BvS movie is salvageable. He believes there are 3 main characters too many, so he wants to remove batman out of the story and make it man of steel part 2. He also wants to change Lex Luthor's character into his All-Star superman counterpart, removing the need for all of the Bruce Wayne shenanigans and supplementing the BvS fight with Lex himself.

Then there's is Bob's entire conclusion to his rant trilogy which lasts 15 minutes.

As predicted, Bob's rant was incredibly padded out, full of useless tangents to that go nowhere, and proved the movie itself was not worth this much breath.
 
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Toxinophile said:

So... wasn't as horrible as the first 2 parts but still, TL;DW :

Bob's complaints :
Zack Snyder is a good director but couldn't save this movie
The Batman Vs. Superman fight itself sucks.
The movie is gratuitously edgy and gritty.
Bob wants to fix the movie by getting rid of batman
and changing it to Man of Steel 2: Supes Vs. Lex Luthor

For a more in-depth synopsis:

Chob Bipman starts his intro with hope for flashpoint reboot, a jab against bitcoin, and his Segway about Zack Snyder. He claims Zack Snyder is a good action director but majorly fucked up the action in the Batman vs. Superman fight scenes, the main event of the movie. He also states that the rest of the movie could have been possibly forgivable if the actual fight was any good. He then cites Wonder Woman as an example as he believes though the movie dragged on a bit and had a weak ending but the action stuff more than made up for it.

Bob next breaks down the entire fight itself by comparing it to the same fight in the Dark Knight Returns. He claims the movie fight is a homage and is a near shot for shot remake of the comic fight. It works in the comic because it is a deconstruction of what batman and superman had become in the comic, while in the movie they are just uselessly wrestling each other into submission for no real thematic reason. Bob desired a more typical fight between superman and batman.
Gadgets vs. strength.
Supes' heroic optimism vs. Bats' brooding pessimism.
The man that can do anything vs. the man that's planned everything.
shit like that.

In the next part Bobby boy recites how great of a director Snyder is. Then begins citing 300, The Watchmen movie, and Suckerpunch. However Bob believes Snyder failed with BvS because Snyder didn't 100% get the superhero satire in Alan Moore's Watchmen, For example in Watchmem film is softer on the superhero deconstruction and made the action more cool and less miserably brutal. Bob also then wastes 10 minutes talking about the entire political history on why Alan Moore wanted to make Watchmen. This leads to Bob saying that Snyder gratuitously made the BvS movie dark and gritty because Snyder enjoyed the darkness and grit in Watchmen at face value.

And then a fountainhead synopsis, just cause.

Blob Chimpman in his third segment declares the BvS movie as "cultural vandalism." Bob says that Starship Troopers is one of his favorite movies because it's satire by adaptation of the pro-military novels of the same name. Blob the believes the BvS movies feels like a deconstruction but without a reason why, as Superman acts like Dr. Manhattan, Batman is incredibly miserable, and the supporting cast is unlikeable.

In his final segment, he claims the BvS movie is salvageable. He believes there are 3 main characters too many, so he wants to remove batman out of the story and make it man of steel part 2. He also wants to change Lex Luthor's character into his All-Star superman counterpart, removing the need for all of the Bruce Wayne shenanigans and supplementing the BvS fight with Lex himself.

Then there's is Bob's entire conclusion to his rant trilogy which lasts 15 minutes.

As predicted, Bob's rant was incredibly padded out, full of useless tangents to that go nowhere, and proved the movie itself was not worth this much breath.
Click to expand...
Can you elaborate on the All-Star thing? Does Bob want Lex Luthor to be redeemed and be his Superior Future guy? Lex is the kind of guy Bob gets boners over.
 
It's almost like the Chinese don't give a shit about muh diversity or something.
DiverseSWChinaland.JPG


He's too much of a priss for the Food Network now?
PM.JPG


Does this feel like a low-key insult to anyone else too?
McDs.JPG
 
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Toxinophile said:
As predicted, Bob's rant was incredibly padded out, full of useless tangents to that go nowhere, and proved the movie itself was not worth this much breath.
Click to expand...

Bob never understood the meaning of brevity and here is the thing: BvS cannot be salvaged because it has already seen release and is part of DCEU canon. Unless he has a time machine hidden his foam mattress, that is not going to change. As to whether WB can salvage the DCEU, that depends on how well Aquaman, Shazam, and Wonder Woman 2 do. I get the feeling that he is going to savage Aquaman no matter what.
 
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Toxinophile said:
And then a fountainhead synopsis, just cause.
Click to expand...
Why? Does Bob give a reason for this? I'm not watching the video but Jesus, no wonder the video's a fucking hour.

Toxinophile said:
Then there's is Bob's entire conclusion to his rant trilogy which lasts 15 minutes.
Click to expand...
Brevity is the soul of wit. And Bob has zero wit.
 
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Chan the Wizard said:
Bob’s magnum opus is actually longer than the shitty movie he’s sperging about.
Maybe he can make a 3 hour really that bad Catwoman video next.
Click to expand...

Their's probably a series in their for this sort of thing, redletter made a real killing of it. But he'd never do it because the bvs is a really indulgant rant so he doesnt have the motivation to do so.
 
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Being a chef is HARD WORK; that's why we have the adage about heat and kitchen. Not to mention the year of grueling training, the meticulous attention to details, the ability to face extremely prissy customers without breaking down. It takes a certain kind of man to succeed in the business, and they are indeed men among men, not "performative machismo".
 
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Sexy Times Hitler said:
WARNING: He might make money. Watch with caution.
mmm-jpg.349287
Click to expand...

"Stupid people complaining about jerbs. I've worked my ass off to be relevant and useful to the superior future." -Bob who can't make money at his job.

Sexy Times Hitler said:
It's almost like the Chinese don't give a shit about muh diversity or something.
diverseswchinaland-jpg.349361
Click to expand...

What's that? China has a bit of nationalism to it and engages in forms of protectionism?

I gotta admit, half the entertainment of this board is watching Bob come so close to the point yet neeeeeeeeever quite put the pieces together.
 
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Baldur's Gait said:
Why? Does Bob give a reason for this? I'm not watching the video but Jesus, no wonder the video's a fucking hour.
Click to expand...

simply put:
Fountainhead ties into Ayn Rand,
which ties into objectivism,
which ties into the Question,
which then ties into Charlton comics,
which ties into Alan Moore,
which ties into watchmen because originally
The story was based on the Charlton comics characters
which ties into the Watchmen movie
which ties into Zack Snyder
which ties into Batman versus fucking Superman

I omitted that detail because bob went on that exact tangent and I wasn't writing another paragraph just to explain that.
 
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Toxinophile said:
simply put:
Fountainhead ties into Ayn Rand,
which ties into objectivism,
which ties into the Question,
which then ties into Charlton comics,
which ties into Alan Moore,
which ties into watchmen because originally
The story was based on the Charlton comics characters
which ties into the Watchmen movie
which ties into Zack Snyder
which ties into Batman versus fucking Superman

I omitted that detail because bob went on that exact tangent and I wasn't writing another paragraph just to explain that.
Click to expand...
Urrrrrrrrccccch.

I can say without exaggeration I would rather watch the drill-kill video of the Dnepropetrovsk Maniacs than subject myself to this autistic garbage.
 
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RockVolnutt said:
Can you elaborate on the All-Star thing? Does Bob want Lex Luthor to be redeemed and be his Superior Future guy? Lex is the kind of guy Bob gets boners over.
Click to expand...

Bob essentialy thought it would have been a better Idea to have the Lex Luthor from That All-Star Superman animated movie. In that movie Lex despises superman because superman is an alien practically gifted with naturally powerful abilities while Lex had extensively trained both his body and mind his whole life.
Bob uses this to justify completely removing batman from the story, as that Lex would fill the role instead
(creating the kryptonite spear, fighting supes in power armor, get mad at supes for blowing up the city, etc.)
 
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Toxinophile said:
simply put:
Fountainhead ties into Ayn Rand,
which ties into objectivism,
which ties into the Question,
which then ties into Charlton comics,
which ties into Alan Moore,
which ties into watchmen because originally
The story was based on the Charlton comics characters
which ties into the Watchmen movie
which ties into Zack Snyder
which ties into Batman versus fucking Superman

I omitted that detail because bob went on that exact tangent and I wasn't writing another paragraph just to explain that.
Click to expand...

 
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