Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Tronathon242]

That is a really good point that even I didn't think of. There was an entire series before Dragon Ball Z that literally had no mention of the Saiyan's. Where are the hidden metaphors in the original Dragon Ball Bob?

The closest the original Dragon Ball series every actually got to having Nazis was the Red Ribbon Army due to its world conquering ambitions and frequent use of German looking tech like the Horten flying wings, various small arms, and even Afrika Korps uniforms on some of them. They weren't much of a threat to Goku (aside from Tao Pai Pai being employed in their service but he was a mercenary) and he wound up annihilating them without much trouble. Aside fron that, there's nothing aside from Yamcha having a panzerfaust.

Again, don't expect Bob to know about Red Ribbon outside of Googling what the "RR" on the outfits of all the Androids meant after he got done beating himself raw over Android 18.

Also, I'm so gonna start my own podcast where I'll share with the world such thrilling tales like when I went playing at the arcade without my parents' permission, the first time my dad brought me to the stadium to watch a football game, and the eye-opening, status-quo-defying experience of listening to Linkin Park's "Live in Texas" for the first time as a teenager. I'm gonna be filthy rich!

I would go out on a limb and say some people might enjoy listening to those individual elements in its own dedicated podcast for each subject.

The problem is that Chris thinks he's a very interesting person despite living a mundane life and he couldn't dig out any tidbits anyone would want to hear. We all know that he didn't witness any fights or see sny bizarre actions at a football game or a concert, he was the dude just sitting and standing around with a beer and taking everything in. Even with his Blockbuster obsession, what whacky antics did he wind up participating in? He probably wasn't a shit employee a là AJ Soprano and his management surely wasn't doing coke lines in the bathroom and disappearing from work or something like that. Bottom line, he needs to understand his limits and what he's good at. He's not a good podcaster, plain and simple.

 

[Mr. Duck]

It was based on an ad for Halo 3 I think. It gets better. He says the covenant are racially diverse good guys.

Expecting anything deeper than that would mean Bob would have to play it, which he clearly hasn't.

Bob's retarded video on Halo.

Archive:

He reuploaded it on his main channel last year, so unlike the PC Gaming video, he still stands by this.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Lol this coward. Chris Chipman, I’ll give you $500/month if you can refrain from being the world’s biggest, most boring pussy.



Wonder who he’s trying to fool with the ancient picture as his new profile pic. Maybe he has a work crush or an online paramour.

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

Question for fellow Bobologists: I'm going back through the thread in a Sisyphean attempt to do an update to the OP and I see "moon wheat" pop up frequently. What is the origin of moon wheat? I have the vaguest idea and seem to think it was some idea or belief espoused by either Hillary Clinton or Brianna Wu that we could grow it on the moon somehow.

 

[Adamska]

Question for fellow Bobologists: I'm going back through the thread in a Sisyphean attempt to do an update to the OP and I see "moon wheat" pop up frequently. What is the origin of moon wheat? I have the vaguest idea and seem to think it was some idea or belief espoused by either Hillary Clinton or Brianna Wu that we could grow it on the moon somehow.

That?

I think it was based on one of Bob's tard tantrums where he bitched about the future stolen from him. He like linked an article or something where scientists were testing how lunar soil worked as a growing medium, basically testing extraterrestrial farming and what obstacles would occur. He then ree'd hard over Orange Man because he's a crayon eating retard who thinks that the Jetsons is his future. Moon wheat was how it was summed up by us, but I know Bob did not say that himself.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Question for fellow Bobologists: I'm going back through the thread in a Sisyphean attempt to do an update to the OP and I see "moon wheat" pop up frequently. What is the origin of moon wheat? I have the vaguest idea and seem to think it was some idea or belief espoused by either Hillary Clinton or Brianna Wu that we could grow it on the moon somehow.

It’s in the masterpiece replacement OP (come back, @Done!). After a LordKat (RIP) podcast, someone contacted LK and told him that Bob had sperged to him in DMs about growing moon wheat. Bob then tweeted about terraforming the moon, which gave credence to the moon wheat sperging reports.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

> unbaked Pillsbury dinner roll with a face

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Please indulge me some frivolity. It turns out that if you morph Bob and Mario (Bob Hoskins version), you get something that looks a lot like Chris Chipman:



Or something that looks like a corpulent version of their late father Peter Chipman:



And of course Bob as a female looks like every very online fat SJW:

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

It’s in the masterpiece replacement OP (come back, @Done!). After a LordKat (RIP) podcast, someone contacted LK and told him that Bob had sperged to him in DMs about growing moon wheat. Bob then tweeted about terraforming the moon, which gave credence to the moon wheat sperging reports.

View attachment 2553809View attachment 2553810

I really, really like how it is just a short hand maxim based on Bobism that Bob made WHILE TALKING ABOUT A DRAWING OF FUTURE SHIT

 

[Woe-B-Gon (TM)]

"Terraforming the Moon". Yep, let me get my magic air generator and set it up on the Moon and here we-oh, wait, it all drifted away.

I fail to understand why Fuhrer Chipman sent us to try put something as light as air (literally) on an object where the heavy things only need to be moving at "faster than a Concorde" speeds to leave, rather than "strap yourself to a small skyscraper worth of explosives and hope we got the engineering right" speeds.

 

[blablabla]

And just like the alcoholic tells himself and his family that he “has” to drink “for work” (all those client dinners and industry functions), Bob tells himself and the few people who care about him IRL that his addiction is his “job.” I’m sure he even claims to work full-time. But if asked what he does for a living, he’ll say he’s a “cultural critic” or some shit. I’d love if someone replied, “Oh, you mean you tweet all day and all night long?”

someone did the math pages ago and yes: this inbred fuck tweets every single hour of the day, sleeps like shit 3-4 hours a day and then continues his very important work

 

[Jetpack Himmler]

"Terraforming the Moon". Yep, let me get my magic air generator and set it up on the Moon and here we-oh, wait, it all drifted away.

Bob's ignorance when it comes to planetary science never fails to stun me because he never thinks to ask why Earth has a thick enough atmosphere to support life, but Moon and Mars do not. If he actually bothered to research something other than Marvel crap, he would know that Earth's magnetic field shields the atmosphere from the solar winds that stripped away the Lunar and Martian atmospheres. And yes, the Moon once had an atmosphere in its early history thanks to volcanism and a magnetic field before it disappeared.

Curiously, the solar winds' interactions with Venus' thick atmosphere may be creating an externally magnetic field despite the planet lacking an intrinsic one like Earth. However, that is beside the point.

Assuming that we had the means to terraform the inner planets, it will an incredible engineering project that may take centuries to complete. Mars' atmosphere is only 1% as thick as our planet so not only would we have to free the frozen carbon dioxide in the Martian soil, but likely import from elsewhere in the solar system to say nothing about importing water or restarting Mars' magnetic field so that it will have similar atmospheric pressure to Earth's. Imagine what it would take to do the same to the Moon, which has an even more marginal atmosphere than the Red Planet. Never mind the work it would take to get the lunar regolith to be as productive as Earth soils if that is even possible.

This is one of the things that angers me most about Bob. I'm not at all good with math, physics, or chemistry, but I at least try to get a grasp on planetary science because Astronomy is something I'm genuinely interested in. Bob doesn't care about science unless it benefits him directly. He has no concept of how difficult and expensive it is to launch humans and equipment into space, much less capture comets or asteroids. He just wants science to give him the lifestyle he believes he's entitled to.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Bob’s constant sperging about “winning history,” “thinkers” versus “believers,” his ideological foes as “subhuman,” why Germany should invade Poland, etc. makes so much sense when you realize just how completely his brain is soaked in capeshit. He probably body slams little old ladies who try to take the last Mountain Dew off the shelf at the grocery store and tells himself that good just triumphed over evil. He has achieved literally nothing in his life so must infuse every interaction — online and offline — with exaggerated meaning and significance. There’s nothing more insufferable than someone who takes himself this fucking seriously.

 

[Johan Schmidt]

Bob’s constant sperging about “winning history,” “thinkers” versus “believers,” his ideological foes as “subhuman,” why Germany should invade Poland, etc. makes so much sense when you realize just how completely his brain is soaked in capeshit. He probably body slams little old ladies who try to take the last Mountain Dew off the shelf at the grocery store and tells himself that good just triumphed over evil. He has achieved literary nothing in his life so must infuse every interaction with exaggerated meaning and significance. There’s nothing more insufferable than someone who takes himself this fucking seriously.

When I was younger I went to a grammar school (which is a private school if you're an American) and through a series of events too mundane to bother detailing, I got called into the Headmasters office with three other boys. We each said that we were in the right about an issue we were having; and that it was why it was okay that we had gotten into a fight with each other: Because the other two were wrong and we (I) was right. The Headmaster looked at us like we were pieces of shit and said something that's genuinely stuck with me my entire life.

"The need to be right all the time, to the point where you're willing to embarrass yourself, and hurt someone else is a demented thing to need."

I feel that Bob never had anything like that, or anything particularly constructive in his life. I don't think he has people he actually respects, or genuinely looks up to, or wants to learn from. He's just always been Robert, the out of touch weird kid with a parent that always told them that they mattered the best; and that things would just go their way. No one ever told Robert that it was okay to be wrong about shit, or be ignorant on something, or just not need to butt in where you're not wanted. Or even that people wouldn't always want you around and that's okay. Sad.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

No one ever told Robert that it was okay to be wrong about shit, or be ignorant on something

In many homes, it’s not safe to say “I don’t know.” Doing so makes you vulnerable to the whims of a vicious parent who seizes on any sign of weakness to assert dominance. Maybe the father Robert “didn’t always get along with” was that type.

Or maybe Robert has just always lacked humility and had an over-abundance of unfounded arrogance. He was born fucked up, that’s for sure.

 

[TowinKarz]

"The need to be right all the time, to the point where you're willing to embarrass yourself, and hurt someone else is a demented thing to need."

That beautifully echoes something a relative of mine used to say as advice to all newlywed couples:

"You can be right all the time, or you can have a peaceful home, pick one"

Any wonder Bobby doesn't get the girl? Let alone her hand in marriage?

 

[Flexo]

There's especially a quote around the 25 min mark about the body degrading that proves Bob so much it's really hilarious.

https://thefederalist.com/2021/09/15/is-postmodernism-wiping-out-human-adaptability/ ← 27:40 mark
Ok I'm going to finally transcribe the quote.

If we start to imagine that actually everything can just happen up in our heads, or through our eyes and our fingertips in front of a flat screen we are going to start to decay in ways that will be difficult to know at first. But will start to reveal themselves. [snip] But we will become less and less in of our bodies and less responsive to what our bodies are telling us, probably less able to read the signs of illness, of hunger, of thirst, of need to move [snip] less able to detect the signs of impending physiological damage.​

Behold all: Trendsetter Bob. We don't have to know how your meatbags will decay in this future, just look upon him:

Also if you want a compare/contrast, it is fascinating to see this video and watch someone explain He-man history and lore very plainly, at an even cadence. Like... the exact opposite of Bobby EVERYTHING.

Also the subject of the video really sounds like a lolcow.

 

[Arthur Morgan]

Bob's ignorance when it comes to planetary science never fails to stun me because he never thinks to ask why Earth has a thick enough atmosphere to support life, but Moon and Mars do not. If he actually bothered to research something other than Marvel crap, he would know that Earth's magnetic field shields the atmosphere from the solar winds that stripped away the Lunar and Martian atmospheres. And yes, the Moon once had an atmosphere in its early history thanks to volcanism and a magnetic field before it disappeared.

Curiously, the solar winds' interactions with Venus' thick atmosphere may be creating an externally magnetic field despite the planet lacking an intrinsic one like Earth. However, that is beside the point.

Assuming that we had the means to terraform the inner planets, it will an incredible engineering project that may take centuries to complete. Mars' atmosphere is only 1% as thick as our planet so not only would we have to free the frozen carbon dioxide in the Martian soil, but likely import from elsewhere in the solar system to say nothing about importing water or restarting Mars' magnetic field so that it will have similar atmospheric pressure to Earth's. Imagine what it would take to do the same to the Moon, which has an even more marginal atmosphere than the Red Planet. Never mind the work it would take to get the lunar regolith to be as productive as Earth soils if that is even possible.

This is one of the things that angers me most about Bob. I'm not at all good with math, physics, or chemistry, but I at least try to get a grasp on planetary science because Astronomy is something I'm genuinely interested in. Bob doesn't care about science unless it benefits him directly. He has no concept of how difficult and expensive it is to launch humans and equipment into space, much less capture comets or asteroids. He just wants science to give him the lifestyle he believes he's entitled to.

The problem is he assumes that while it may be difficult, it's not impossible because he cannot wrap his head around the idea that what he wants is infeasible. He heard about things happening in the future, and so assumes that scientists are almost ready to solve the problems, they just need some money to Tony Stark the issues away.

That beautifully echoes something a relative of mine used to say as advice to all newlywed couples:

"You can be right all the time, or you can have a peaceful home, pick one"

Any wonder Bobby doesn't get the girl? Let alone her hand in marriage?

That horrendous "smile" will ensure he doesn't ruin some poor woman's life.

 

[Positron]

There have been semi-realistic proposals to terraform Mars; there has never been a workable solution to terraform the Moon.

Chris's whole extended family is hurting. Again.


Remember the Green Day concert? Turned out Chris sold the tickets not because he needed money, but because the organizers didn't see fit to enforce the mask mandate.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

This is one of the things that angers me most about Bob. I'm not at all good with math, physics, or chemistry, but I at least try to get a grasp on planetary science because Astronomy is something I'm genuinely interested in. Bob doesn't care about science unless it benefits him directly. He has no concept of how difficult and expensive it is to launch humans and equipment into space, much less capture comets or asteroids. He just wants science to give him the lifestyle he believes he's entitled to.

The fact that Bob thinks "science" is just this unitary force heading in one direction, all acting in unison shows he knows nothing of science.

One of my favorite parts of undergrad was listening to the botany professor tell us how GMO crops are the devil, just to go into the next lecture and listen to the genetics professor telling us about how GMO technology is a god-send.
It really shows how not all scientists are on the same page and there are multiple sides to every issue.

People like Bob are, despite worshiping science, woefully ignorant of how it actually works. You are right, in that to Bob its just a source of magic to give him the life he wants.