Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[TowinKarz]

I'm pretty good with cooking. I'm about on par with Homer Simpson when it comes to baking unless I follow a recipe to the letter.

No shame in that..... recipes exist for a reason... that's like apologizing for getting to the correct location by following a map..... if you can do it without the map, good for you, but no sane person expects a human being to be born knowing how to make a pound cake on instinct.

I wonder if they're trying to follow a recipe and failing at it due to an inability to have reading comprehension? Or to look up a term they don't understand? "Fold"? What's that mean? We're not doing laundry. Must be a typo, on to the next step.

Is it laziness? You have to mix until everything's combined, but after 2 or so twirls of the spoon, that's enough for Bob, everything SHOULD just go together, having to work it for a few minutes to the right consistancy? That's how it was done years ago, but we're in the 21st Century, the fact I have to use a spoon AT ALL instead of just add a few drops of water to a dehydrated little pill on the counter to make actual cake is the REAL laziness here! Darn mayoghouls, holding us back from Jetson's-style food-on-demand!

Or are they just winging it and tossing eggs and flour in a bowl and thinking "that's how they do it on TV, so what else is needed?"

 

[Adamska]

No shame in that..... recipes exist for a reason... that's like apologizing for getting to the correct location by following a map..... if you can do it without the map, good for you, but no sane person expects a human being to be born knowing how to make a pound cake.

I wonder if they're trying to follow a recipe and failing at it due to an inability to have reading comprehension? Or to look up a term they don't understand?

Or are they just winging it and tossing eggs and flour in a bowl and thinking "that's how they do it on TV, so what else is needed?"

Given Chris stated in that he needed an external thermometer despite having the oven's one I think it's all of these things. I can usually tell myself just by eyeballing or smell, at least with cooking.

Or in this case using a toothpick to test its springiness since it's a cake.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

View attachment 2616250

It's called the fat acceptance movement.

Full of wokies.

 

[Oh Long Johnson]

More from chez Chippa:
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Finished product:
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Can you guess what this is?

View attachment 2615126

Finished product:
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And these?

Buy a mandolin if you can't use a knife properly, fatso.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Next episode is about race politics and Resident Evil 5

Lemme save you some time there, partner. Resident Evil 5 takes place in Africa, so the majority of monsters you fight are made from unfortunate Africans. This means that Resident Evil 5 is racist.

 

[glib]

... what's the other 10%

Probably fat

 

[Woe-B-Gon (TM)]

My title for this is Serious Samus [rimshot]. Screaming, headless kamikazes not included.

In other words, the first part of Serious Sam 2? (I'm not even kidding, that game was light on the kamikazes and the locals of the first world called him "Samus".)

This absolute donkey.

Those onions look like they were cut by someone who just had their first time holding a knife. The onions clearly are not caramelized. That broth looks absolutely flavorless. Swanson beef broth shit. Add some herbs and pepper to that fucker. And whats with the pasta? Did he not make enough on Patreon to afford a fucking baguette and some gruyere?

Perhaps a better question would be if he could identify what food groups baguettes and gruyere fall into without looking it up.

More color:

OK, please tell me I'm not the only one who mistook it for Mercury with the wrong hair length.

The cancerous tentacles of Marvel corrupt everything.

1) If I hear the phrase "cinematic universe" again I'm going to glass someone. Not sure if I'm including exceptions for existing CUs yet.

2) Mildly annoyed that last image doesn't come from something called "Bibleman Gets Medieval".

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

It's called the fat acceptance movement.

Are you sure that's the right word?

Faith?

For one, I'm pretty sure that religious people are evil "Believers". For two, I really don't think "culture-within-culture-outsiders re: faith", whether they're neopagans, traditionalist Catholics, Hasidic Jews or Islamists, are about to start worshipping Disney. I'd certainly be a bit confused if I got to Mass and found that my priest had put a figurine of Mickey Mouse on the altar.

 

[Toxinophile]

Lemme save you some time there, partner. Resident Evil 5 takes place in Africa, so the majority of monsters you fight are made from unfortunate Africans. This means that Resident Evil 5 is racist.

Believe me Episode 8 sounds like something to skip at first but I assure you, DON'T.

"...discussions about race tends to leave someone feeling insulted, so lets inoculate by insulting everyone right off the bat. *AHEM*

WHITE PEOPLE! SHUT THE FUCK UP! The world isn't ending just because you own slightly less of it. Also this dickbag? (Mitt Romney) This bitch? (Hillary Clinton) that's your fault. Do something about it.

BLACK PEOPLE! the subwoofer was never ever meant to be weaponized, and also, once the movie starts shut the hell up. This? (Tyler Perry) This is your fault. Do something about it.

SPAINISH PEOPLE! (Translated from Bob's shitty Spanish) Just because the white guys and the black guys cannot understand what you are saying does not mean they cannot tell when it is derogatory, smartass. also this? (some celebrity idk) This is your fault. Do something about it.

ASIANS! (proceeds to show Miyamoto and sexy Asian chicks) I uh, actually got no problem with you guys, none whatsoever.

INDIANS! uh sorry.

JEWS! (Shows Steven Spielberg, Israel Defense Force, and sexy Jewish chicks) nope! no issue here, uh keep up the good work boys. SHALOM!"

-Game Overthinker v8, the very first fucking minute of the episode

 

[Neko GF]

Robert gets another reminder that nobody likes him:

Tweet | Archive

>" like, owed the right to be a dick to you?"
Yes they are owed the right to be a dick towards Robert. They have the right to make fun of Robert because he is a lolcow who says and does stupid shit that deserves to be mocked.

Cinema Robert say Trans Rights™

Tweet | Archive

Robert once again trying to dunk on wrong critics:

Tweet | Archive

 

[A Very Big Fish]

Bob preemptively sucking the Eternals' dick is so sad.

And you don't have to be an Alt-right MAGit to think that the movie based on a comic no one likes with a hyper boring trailer in the absolute zombie that is the MCU might just suck.

 

[TVB]

On the subject of Eternals, I was never excited for anything from MCU or any capeshit by the end of 2015 (the only good films during those times were Logan, Infinity War, Spiderverse, Shazam and Joker as they were the only exceptions to the quota). And I'm always happy that a film version of Eternals is setting to fail right from the beginning. You don't need to believe in your own political spectrum to not see many new blockbusters out at the moment since mid-2010s and that they are complete, utter garbage.

 

[ChampFantana]

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It's times like this when we REALLY need a drooling retard reaction icon. Bob, Tony Shitbrick, or One Flew Over The Chu Chu's Nest would be perfect.

 

[Arthur Morgan]

I am of the firm belief that Bob cannot be cancelled for the sheer reason that there is nothing to cancel him from. He is unemployed, un wed, unimportant to anyone but us, and now lives with his mom. He would have to be arrested and thrown into prison for him to be finally removed and I dare not speak the crime he would commit to get him in trouble with the law.

Well we saw what would happen if Bob got cancelled when Lindsay finally told him to fuck off. He'll just block everything out, pretend nothing is wrong, and keep doing the same thing he's done every day for the past decade until it's safe to come out.

Cancelling only works when you accept it and Bob is incapable of taking the L.

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Touch grass, hug someone. Listen instead of talking about yourself, Bob. Mickey and Mario will never love you. Neither will the corporation.

Mario never told him to do his homework. Mickey never pointed out how dumb he is. Just by that metric they're nicer to Bob than any person he's ever met. And for the gift of not contradicting Bob's view that he's the greatest person in the world, they have earned his undying loyalty.

 

[Positron]

He announces himself as the proprietor of this magical place, and makes known both his ability and his intention to maintain and preserve it for however often and however long you may wish him to. In compensation, he asks for only roughly $200 and change once every 6 or 7 years, so he may continue to finance the production of niche market video game consoles.

"$200 and change once every 6 or 7 years"
"Niche market"
Bobby back then had as much hold on reality as Chris-Chan at that time.

Given that, given all of that, wouldn't you give the funny Japanese man the money? Hell, would it really be odd to find yourself swearing allegiance and fealty, to this great man, and his holy mission?

I thought only Believers believe in "holy missions"?

---

Chris gravely misunderstands his audience; this 37-year-old man thinks he appeals to the tween demographic.


He sure helped write a lot of movies:


Some views of Chris's newly-renovated home:




Chrisie's Angels.

 

[A Very Big Fish]

Tom Taylor is a shit writer, and American comics need to think of the rabbits.

 

[The Valeyard]

He sure helped write a lot of movies:

It’s only six minutes long.

The producer and editor Devon Grubb did a shit job, as you can hear the director at 4:01.

 

[Giga_Nigga_28]

The real major blow that could be dealt to Bob is going after his Patreon. I don't think anyone would because I'm sure like with a lot of other creators on the platform that Bob actually donates some of those funds to other Patreon campaigns. Nobody would want to screw themselves out of money as well.

It is hard for Bob to get cancelled because he's too much of useful lackey to a lot of other terrible people. Someone like Dobson never made it far into SJW circles because he is far too combative and controlling. Bob on the other hand is just a yes man who goes along with anything a higher up puts out. Even when he does get fucked over like with Ellis or the Russ Pitts drama, he doesn't go after the people that screwed him over. He just sits in the corner and rages without actually unleashing it on the person that wronged him.

It's hard for Bob to get cancelled because he's a nobody; there aren't any benefits to cancelling him, most people don't know who he is and the rest that do and have actual 'clout' on twitter despise him. I mean think about the kind of people who get cancelled: celebrities who've pissed off some woke group, e-celebs who offend the retards on twitter, or its those self same retards eating their own. Bob isn't any of those people, his rhetoric is too toxic for the tumblrinas and their twitter counterparts and too nerdy for the psychotic politicos. Plus, he doesn't have underage fans to groom.

That's why I think he follows so many troons they're the one group that intersects political sperging and nerd sperging, and the 'wrong side of history' shit whilst also being disgustingly toxic and dehumanising towards their perceived enemies.

 

[Positron]

Let's hear Bobby's crony Walter Chaw describe the state of the not-art:


The Global Government of Entertainment is constantly under attack, and Bobby is tasked with its defense:


White men can die or be besmirched by some nigger musical, but fandoms are forever:


Political instability somehow put a wedge in Disney's well-oiled Global Governance:


And it faces mutiny within. Faced with a young actor who was advised not to do capeshit, Bobby shits out a stream-of-conscious tirade that rivals Tommy Tooter's.




Eternals:


Chloé Zhao did it for the arts, and for globalism:


MCU Thanos

---

So yesterday was some troon day or another.


More reaction to gay Superman:





Not only are these people not big on nuance, they disrespect people's lived experience. When someone says "grossed out", they mean "grossed out", not "I don't like it". If someone serves me, say, pear cooked in wine, I can say "I'm not into that kind of thing" with honesty; but if someone push a tray of shit on my face, my honest reaction can only be "grossed out".

Regardless of what special tranny day it is, Netflix brought us some good news:


While sexual degenerates celebrates their 56th special tranny day of the year, the rest of us, like Texas governor candidate Allen West, celebrates Christopher Columbus day. And he talks about covid:


Columbus. I'll leave it to the History scholars among us.

 

[Boston Brand]

The real major blow that could be dealt to Bob is going after his Patreon. I don't think anyone would because I'm sure like with a lot of other creators on the platform that Bob actually donates some of those funds to other Patreon campaigns. Nobody would want to screw themselves out of money as well.

It is hard for Bob to get cancelled because he's too much of useful lackey to a lot of other terrible people. Someone like Dobson never made it far into SJW circles because he is far too combative and controlling. Bob on the other hand is just a yes man who goes along with anything a higher up puts out. Even when he does get fucked over like with Ellis or the Russ Pitts drama, he doesn't go after the people that screwed him over. He just sits in the corner and rages without actually unleashing it on the person that wronged him.

Yup. A ton of people reporting him to Patreon, enough they hold or suspend his account, that would about be the only thing that would cripple him.

Not like his view numbers would ever pay the bills.