Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Jetpack Himmler]

There is no shame for Chloé Zhao or anyone to do something purely for money (as long as it is legal and moral of course). Any auteur (and I'm not implying Zhao is one) or people who have artistic ambitions need money to fund their labor of love, and money is increasing hard to come by now that cinema is dominated by you-know-what. "If you can't beat them, join them for a while" is a perfectly valid tactic. Bobby, uncharacterically, seems to have problem with this very tactic. He needs his idol to maintain SJW purity, so he rambles about "art" and "global cast" and "empowerment".

Bob's defense of Eternals comes at a weird convergence for his unconditional love of Disney/the MCU and his virulent strain of yellow fever for anything Chinese. The dumb fuck is probably unaware that the the PRC leadership loathes Zhao for comments she made about her country and is banning Eternals because of it. Furthermore, I doubt that Bob has noticed that China has grown increasingly nationalistic over the years and does not give a single flying fuck about his beloved globalist. Even if he did, he would attempt to rationalize it. I've been watching several videos from several former expats that so how royally fucked the country is because China obsesses over keeping face and how it really is a Potemkin village as many of these shiny new housing units sit empty and are so poorly built that they crumble after three years...

...

...Jesus. No wonder Bob loves the PRC so much. Everything he does is to keep face for who he views as the upper crust of society in a doomed effort to join their ranks or pretend to be part of it.

 

[Jack Awful]

...Jesus. No wonder Bob loves the PRC so much.

I think Bob's love of China boils down to their (alleged) technological innovation, their lack of free speech (which he thinks will only be used against the chuds if implemented here), their "Communism", their hatred of America, and I think he just has a fetish for Asian women.

 

[Bolo]

I think Bob's love of China boils down to their (alleged) technological innovation, their lack of free speech (which he thinks will only be used against the chuds if implemented here), their "Communism", their hatred of America, and I think he just has a fetish for Asian women.

was just about to say that but got ninjaed.

Just don't look for Robert when it comes down to coherence for what he likes and dislikes.

Simple guide to Robert is:

Anything white straight american male - bad outdated, he talks about being one, but he is from the superior future, so he will protecc the minorities. He likes this illusion, because he sees himself as a "man's man", somone capable and reliable

China - Big futuristic buildings and tech wonderland. Ignore the fact that a lot of the said tech has been swiped from the west/Japan, and the big buildings were build on the back of borderline slave labour, not to mention that said buildings are practically empty, one of the big reasons why China's real state is imploding.

Globalism: All the great minds of the world work towards the supeior future where all will live in some sort of paradise. Never go into specifics, Robert just wishes for it to be utopia.

Chuds: This is a important one, because it dictates Robert's taste in anything "pop culture". If the "chuds" like something, Robert won't ever stop snarking about it. Once the battle lines are drawn, and which side likes what, that's where Robert's taste will go. Some Chud praised Dune for not being Marvel churn? Dune is dumb story about white saviour chosen Spaceboy. The chuds are mad about Last of Us 2, well it is the best game ever aside from Mario 3, stay mad incels.

And this is "bad" for what is supposed to be Robert careers, being a movie critic, because you don't even need to read or see anything Robert says about a movie or series if you just read other people's reaction on twitter, you will know what Robert thinks about it. Whatever individuality Robert once had, he has given it up on social media.

Sad thing is, even with all that, Robert is still to unlikeable and resentfull for anyone to genuinely like him, so he just floats on twitter, he gets some asspats, and like it was said before, he talks with some troons and Arthur Chu, but real friendships, nah, and his "mutuals"? Well, let's put it like this, remember when Robert got the boot from the escapist the second time around and Jack Pakard tweeted something like "Sad to see Moviebob go, maybe someday we will do a collab or something".

Yeah, that never happened, Robert has no presence outside his little channel and twitter, whatever "career" he has, it is dead in the water, and what killed was his personality.

 

[A Very Big Fish]

I forget where I stole the joke from, but you could string a bunch of Bob's weird phrases and tweets together and make a fantastic Deus Ex villain.

All his superior future shit, combined with his whole targets & tactics nonsense. I think it could work.

 

[Flexo]

Geez, Bob. I'm BARELY aware of the pulp era and even I know that none of those revolve around a "chosen one" hero. Especially if you expand via tortured logic the definition of "not chosen" to include the matrix.

You are such a chronological snob.

Thanos would have been better off to simple sterilize most of humanity, leaving a few breeders intact. That way, the population would gradually decrease and there would be fewer resources for a baby boom. It's the same principle behind Trap, Neuter Return programs for cats. Kill half of the cats, and the remaining half will breed back up to former population levels, because space and resources will have been opened up by the mass number of deaths. Sterilize all but a few cats, and most of the "free space" will get taken up by sterile cats, creating selection pressure against big litters. Sterilize all but a few humans, and breeding will be done only by a fertile few, who will be most likely enslaved and forced to bear children for rich couples, Handmaid's Tale style. The vast run of humanity will never bear children and will simply die out, Children of Men style. If population levels dip too low, use the Infinity Stones to adjust the level of fertility for the population, until it's at the number you want. But I imagine that would be too much trouble to work out for someone who just wants to snap his fingers and be done with it.

Actually what bugs me is that most of the resources people use on earth ARE life - plants & animals. So if Thanos just wipes out half of ALL life, then he's solved nothing because the ratio of humans to most important resources remained the same.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Actually what bugs me is that most of the resources people use on earth ARE life - plants & animals. So if Thanos just wipes out half of ALL life, then he's solved nothing because the ratio of humans to most important resources remained the same.

This is the MCU. You're not supposed to overthink it like this; you're supposed to consoom product, and then get excited to consoom next product.

 

[TowinKarz]

Actually what bugs me is that most of the resources people use on earth ARE life - plants & animals. So if Thanos just wipes out half of ALL life, then he's solved nothing because the ratio of humans to most important resources remained the same.

That's a plot hole that always bugged me too.

Did The Snap remove half of all bacteria colonies? The algae mats? Half the plants? And if not, how are the plants going to make out long-run when 50% of one of their necessary food supplies (carbon dioxide from people breathing) vanishes?

I'm no scientist, but it always seemed to me that just flat=out halving the population of everything would have some kind of nasty side effect you didn't consider because on the surface, everything was "fair".

 

[Lensherr]

Once upon a time it was called religion. You would gather with your fellows and neighbors, bond, socialize, and participate in something transcendent.

And I don't just mean that in a spiritual sense. It was literally transcendent in that you knew your fathers and their fathers' fathers had participated in these same ceremony and rites and that after you had passed, your children's children would be doing the same as well. It was a rock, a connecting thread that the community and you, individually, could hold onto and know that this piece of your happiest memories would always be there.

Is it any wonder that as religion fades, people struggle to replace it? And that they react so strongly when the consoomer replacements end up destroyed and ruined?

It's like a starving man, hungry for a home cooked meal finding an average sized McDonald's meal. Sure it's not as good as something made by family, but it's not nothing. Only to have the modern corporation slap it out of their hands and hand them a shit sandwich to eat instead.

They can't get what they need and now they're being denied even a poor substitute.

Of all the maladies affecting modern society, I find the elevation of pop culture products to the level of religion to be one of the most pernicious. To me, it’s a sign of people having very empty, meaningless lives to the point that they convince themselves that empty corporate slop has any real depth to it, and them getting their identity so intrinsically wrapped up in it as a result. I’d even go as far as to argue that Consoomerism, along with Social Justice, is slowly starting to overtake Christianity as the dominant faiths in the West.

IMO, people getting so attached to corporate IPs to the point where they’re emotionally damaged by a subpar product says to me that they really need to gain some perspective. Maybe try joining a church or a social club, or learn some new skills, or just finding a hobby that doesn’t just involve mindless consooming. Maybe then your life won’t be so empty and meaningless to the point where you need fictional realities owned by corporations to convince you that it isn’t.

There is no shame for Chloé Zhao or anyone to do something purely for money (as long as it is legal and moral of course). Any auteur (and I'm not implying Zhao is one) or people who have artistic ambitions need money to fund their labor of love, and money is increasing hard to come by now that cinema is dominated by you-know-what. "If you can't beat them, join them for a while" is a perfectly valid tactic. Bobby, uncharacterically, seems to have problem with this very tactic. He needs his idol to maintain SJW purity, so he rambles about "art" and "global cast" and "empowerment".

When it comes down to it, all movies are made for money. The only reason anything in the major studio system gets greenlit is because some corporate fat cat thinks that he can turn a profit on it. The artistry comes from the people actually making it (i.e., the director, writer(s), actors, production and costume designers, editor, cinematographer, etc.).

And frankly, I find it hilarious that Bob claims to care so much about artistic integrity considering how hard he simps for a corporation that couldn’t give two shits about it (Disney).

 

[Flexo]

That's a plot hole that always bugged me too.

Did The Snap remove half of all bacteria colonies? The algae mats? Half the plants? And if not, how are the plants going to make out long-run when 50% of one of their necessary food supplies (carbon dioxide from people breathing) vanishes?

I'm no scientist, but it always seemed to me that just flat=out halving the population of everything would have some kind of nasty side effect you didn't consider because on the surface, everything was "fair".

Yeah. I get not thinking about it too hard. Thanos is a villain and a "mad titan" after all. I've even made a post on this board pointing out to fans that he was never going to be adapted accurately to the big screen for a confluence of reasons and that a Malthusian motive is the best you'll ever get.

It does bug me that they just didn't add "50% of all SENTIENT life" to the lines which would have at least made most of it work.

I’d even go as far as to argue that Consoomerism, along with Social Justice, is slowly starting to overtake Christianity as the dominant faiths in the West.

IMO, people getting so attached to corporate IPs to the point where they’re emotionally damaged by a subpar product says to me that they really need to gain some perspective. Maybe try joining a church or a social club, or learn some new skills, or just finding a hobby that doesn’t just involve mindless consooming. Maybe then your life won’t be so empty and meaningless to the point where you need fictional realities owned by corporations to convince you that it isn’t.

Exactly. Insert the old Chesterton quote about "people believe anything." The need doesn't go away, it just ends up redirected to other ends.

 

[Captain Marvelous]

Bob's defense of Eternals comes at a weird convergence for his unconditional love of Disney/the MCU and his virulent strain of yellow fever for anything Chinese.

Has Bob ever talked about the Eternals TV show that bombed a few years ago?

 

[Wulfpack Legend]

Has Bob ever talked about the Eternals TV show that bombed a few years ago?

It was the Inhumans.

 

[Red Hood]

It was the Inhumans.

It's such a lame and nondescript name that I confused the two myself.

 

[Quixotic Man]

It's such a lame and nondescript name that I confused the two myself.

Growing up, reading Old Fantastic Four comics, I actually was at least a little familiar with the Inhumans.

The Eternals are pretty bottom of the barrel as far as Marvel goes. You would have to be a pretty die hard Kirby fan to actually be familiar with them, and not just faking it to look cool to fellow MCU dorks.

 

[Red Hood]

Growing up, reading Old Fantastic Four comics, I actually was at least a little familiar with the Inhumans.

The Eternals are pretty bottom of the barrel as far as Marvel goes. You would have to be a pretty die hard Kirby fan to actually be familiar with them, and not just faking it to look cool to fellow MCU dorks.

My impression of them was, indeed, "shittier New Gods".

 

[Wulfpack Legend]

My impression of them was, indeed, "shittier New Gods".

Pretty much, I'm sure this was a response to the proposed New Gods movie by Ava Duvernay.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

I suspect the whole reason Eternals exists as a movie is because that Inhumans series (that was originally was announced as one of the MCU films) flopped so hard. They're pretty much the bottom of the Marvel barrel to scrape for another team after Avengers and Guardians. (Considering this all happened before they got X-Men/FF back.)

Eternals was basically a sequel to Kirby's unfinished New Gods (which was basically a sequel to Thor), and the latter themselves were never popular until they were repurposed into broader Superman/DC characters.

Marvel has tried time and again to make Eternals into something in the comics but has never really succeeded at that. (The Eternals, aside from a few select characters, were basically gone from Marvel Comics since 2009 until recently where they've come back solely because of the movie.) Arguably Eternals side crap like the Celestials have made it farther. And had the Eternals never been wrung through Thor they probably would have never turned up again after Kirby left.

All that said, I quite like and would recommend Neil Gaiman's short Eternals mini-series if anyone actually is interested in looking into any of it in general or because of the movie. I'm not sure I'd really consider bothering with any of the rest and would just read about them on Wikipedia or the Marvel fan equivalent if you wanted "comic backstory" before seeing the movie. I doubt Robert has even done the latter really, he's just excited to get to CONSOOM more high priced Disney product.

 

[Positron]

The Coens, move over; The Wachowskis, cope seethe and dilate. The Chipman Bros are coming!






What exactly is "kahd"? "Kid"?

Chrisie's Angels:

Reminder that this "Kay" dude only came out last year. The "eighth grade" story is made up.



Another guess-what-Chris-made game!

 

[EnemyStand]

Another guess-what-Chris-made game!
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Probably pulled pork, but it's very sad pulled pork. It looks limp and dry. Twenty bucks that sauce in picture 1 is SBR (which I usually don't care about, but don't put it in a bowl like you actually made it).

 

[Woe-B-Gon (TM)]

Another guess-what-Chris-made game!
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Chicken Parmigrassclippings? (Haha only serious, I swear that looks like the solid clods of dead grass you'd see in the swampy areas behind my house when I was a kid in the boonies. It was a game to jump from one to the next to not get wet.)

 

[make_it_so]

Another guess-what-Chris-made game!
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Is that supposed to be barbecued chicken? How much you want to bet that putting it in that pot didn't cook it thoroughly, so Chris will be giving himself and whoever else eats that stuff a bad case of salmonella.