Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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I honestly can't remember the last time I saw someone get sooooooo close to the actual point and then fail to make it. (Maybe that luke/ellie dude)

The worst is I know there's no way to make him understand. Bob would absolutely sell out to have a health monitor and radio implanted into him so he could be micromanaged by whatever government health doctor was assigned to him because he abhors responsibility.

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Gee, if only there was some pipeline built between Canada and USA which maybe Biden halted....
 
The hypothetical person Bob described in that Ms Marvel review that doesn't know what genies are is going to be stuck in my head for a while. Even if you ignore it's on a Disney service and what one of their most famous movies is, how do you convince yourself that genies/jinn are some super obscure deep cut you need to be Mr. Cultured to know instead of literally one of the most widespread things from Arabian mythology?

I don't even know if it's hyperbole anymore to say that's one of the most ignorant claims I've heard in a while. It's like claiming you need a PhD to know about ghosts or fairies or even dragons instead of them being universal concepts.
Because to Bob, him knowing that genies are from Arabian mythology is the equivalent of him having deep, obscure knowledge about Arabian mythos.
 
I honestly can't remember the last time I saw someone get sooooooo close to the actual point and then fail to make it. (Maybe that luke/ellie dude)

I just want him to get Malone out of his fat mouth. Bob is not capable of articulating a coherent thought that can stand up to mild scrutiny, much less imparting a lesson.

Gee, if only there was some pipeline built between Canada and USA which maybe Biden halted....

Also, it's not like both Trudeau and Biden are pursuing similarly moronic energy policies or anything.
 
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Oh bois, we have GOT to figure out where these "sectors where value of audience is calculated" are. I mean if his patreon and youtube are no longer the "central venues" he gets money from...

I mean I'm just dying to know what these are. The man can't shut up about anything, so him being "coy" about this? Oh the hunt to expose his lies is going to be fun.
Going off of this tweet:
I think the only thing he could possibly be referring to is "writing" (or more accurately, "Wikipedia skimming") for MatPat's "Bullshit I Just Pulled Out My Ass" videos...oh sorry, "Film Theory" videos. Since he hasn't mentioned anything else he's been doing aside from his own channel, and he's makes an effort to promote those videos literally every time they're posted, I think it's safest to assume that he really doesn't have any other job lined up.

This is even funnier when you consider that writing for another Youtube channel is still a job that's reliant on audience metrics, same as, well, pretty much anything in the entertainment industry. Hell, he even says as much in this screencap, where he brags about how Film Theory is a much bigger channel than the Escapist was (or is), so he does in fact care about metrics when it means he can wave his dick around about how he's doing gruntwork for a major channel.

Side note, maybe this is just me channeling my inner boomer, but I don't get why any of this would be appealing to anyone with half a brain:
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This Cartoon Is Actually Super Dark!
We're Gonna Jump On This Horror Bandwagon!
DISNEY MARVEL MARVEL DISNEY MARVEL DISNEY!

It's literally just taking popular thing X, throwing a dart at a list of "hidden meanings" or whatever, and pumping out another video. I guess it's successful, but damn, I'd be embarrassed to be caught watching this shit. Perfect fit for a dullard like Bob with Dunning-Kruger and an obsessive need to be seen as smarter than he actually is. That's probably their core audience too.
 
Side note, maybe this is just me channeling my inner boomer, but I don't get why any of this would be appealing to anyone with half a brain:
View attachment 3380138
This Cartoon Is Actually Super Dark!
We're Gonna Jump On This Horror Bandwagon!
DISNEY MARVEL MARVEL DISNEY MARVEL DISNEY!

It's literally just taking popular thing X, throwing a dart at a list of "hidden meanings" or whatever, and pumping out another video. I guess it's successful, but damn, I'd be embarrassed to be caught watching this shit. Perfect fit for a dullard like Bob with Dunning-Kruger and an obsessive need to be seen as smarter than he actually is. That's probably their core audience too.
Cow Theory: Has Bob been getting SEX more than we realize from sissy hypo trannys plugging his diabetes hole? 5 REASONS WHY
 
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I honestly can't remember the last time I saw someone get sooooooo close to the actual point and then fail to make it. (Maybe that luke/ellie dude)

The worst is I know there's no way to make him understand. Bob would absolutely sell out to have a health monitor and radio implanted into him so he could be micromanaged by whatever government health doctor was assigned to him because he abhors responsibility.

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Gee, if only there was some pipeline built between Canada and USA which maybe Biden halted....

Gas was always high!

What do you need big cars for?

What do you even need a car for?

Living in the country? there are no jobs there, you need to move to the city!

A car in the city? You need a sticker to show your emissions if it's below x threshold you can't use it

ANd what do you need a car for? Take the bus and save the earth

*5 years later*

Driving cars? Are you crazy?? we have never driven cars, that is only for the priviledge of our overlords. You're crazy man.

This is happening to me as we speak. People I though were quite sensible suddenly are all for the cult of Mother Gaia and parroting the quotes the Think Tanks that big Oligarchs made up. This was a copypasta from 2009 saying that the end of the world is everything getting more expensive, normal things becoming luxuries, blackouts becomming common, reducing your quality of life to the third world and while you are noticing all of this, your friends and family will say you are crazy and that things have always been like this.
 
This is happening to me as we speak. People I though were quite sensible suddenly are all for the cult of Mother Gaia and parroting the quotes the Think Tanks that big Oligarchs made up. This was a copypasta from 2009 saying that the end of the world is everything getting more expensive, normal things becoming luxuries, blackouts becomming common, reducing your quality of life to the third world and while you are noticing all of this, your friends and family will say you are crazy and that things have always been like this.
Yeah, pretty much like that poem titled Hollow men (if i remember correctly) that the end of the world will not be a great brutal war with an inmense amount of bloodshed, but it will be a gradual decline where everything will get shittier and shittier. Your house will get smaller, your food much disgusting, things that were normal before will become luxuries and people will carry out like it's nothing. And like you say, if you point out the inconsistencies, others will say you're a nutjob.

It's pretty insane how we have gotten to this point tbh. But if anything we know that Bob might be roused to action if there are some food shortages here and there that prevent him from getting an average sized food serving. Nothing like basic instincts and vices to rouse someone like Bob to get off his ass
 
Going off of this tweet:

I think the only thing he could possibly be referring to is "writing" (or more accurately, "Wikipedia skimming") for MatPat's "Bullshit I Just Pulled Out My Ass" videos...oh sorry, "Film Theory" videos. Since he hasn't mentioned anything else he's been doing aside from his own channel, and he's makes an effort to promote those videos literally every time they're posted, I think it's safest to assume that he really doesn't have any other job lined up.

This is even funnier when you consider that writing for another Youtube channel is still a job that's reliant on audience metrics, same as, well, pretty much anything in the entertainment industry. Hell, he even says as much in this screencap, where he brags about how Film Theory is a much bigger channel than the Escapist was (or is), so he does in fact care about metrics when it means he can wave his dick around about how he's doing gruntwork for a major channel.

Side note, maybe this is just me channeling my inner boomer, but I don't get why any of this would be appealing to anyone with half a brain:
View attachment 3380138
This Cartoon Is Actually Super Dark!
We're Gonna Jump On This Horror Bandwagon!
DISNEY MARVEL MARVEL DISNEY MARVEL DISNEY!

It's literally just taking popular thing X, throwing a dart at a list of "hidden meanings" or whatever, and pumping out another video. I guess it's successful, but damn, I'd be embarrassed to be caught watching this shit. Perfect fit for a dullard like Bob with Dunning-Kruger and an obsessive need to be seen as smarter than he actually is. That's probably their core audience too.
My friends sometimes stream Bob's MattPat videos for laughs and it's mostly Bob jerking himself off by either having Matt bring up politics or some comic storyline Bob mangles because he couldn't even read the wikipedia article right. The irony being the MCU is extremely distanced from the comics to the point of it being an "adaptation" is only in the technical sense. So Bob's "theories" are always way off the mark because he keeps thinking "Let's pull up a random comic story which traits of might get in" meanwhile Marvel Studios is doing shit like "What if we get rid of Atlantis in Namor's backstory and make him just Mexican?" that you'd think were a shitpost if somebody else said it

It's all just very bizarre and you'd sound crazy trying to explain it. It's not even exclusive to Bob, it seems there are large groups of people out there that like making "theories" where it's less actually examining the work they're cooming over to notice patterns or tone and more just throwing around names to make yourself sound more knowledgeable.
 
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Bobby proposes a philosophical thought experiment to "prove" that one is fundamentally incapable of acting in "one's best interest".
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I expect enthusiastic discussion on the floor which I'll likely join. I just note that Bobby at the same time is adamant that "trans kids" know what is in their best interest when they cry and scream to be poisoned and cut up. How come?
Bob doesn't believe a single word of this. It's fundamentally opposed to his central theory that the world is split into Believers and Thinkers. Obviously Believers would have no way to act in their own best interest, but the entire purpose of the Thinkers is to act in everyone's best interests by making Disney movies and reviewing them positively on YouTube. We're supposed to believe Bob would place himself in with the Believers just because he doesn't know how a pancreas works? So we shouldn't trust Bob at all since "I sure as hell don't [know what's in the best interest]" even though he spends every waking moment telling everyone including the President of the United States and the richest man in the world what to do endlessly? No, not at all, Bob's a Thinker, he absolutely should be listened to and have complete control to order everyone how to act in civilization's best interest. Which means his premise that this is "NORMAL for EVERYONE" is him lying to us to make us feel better as Believers. Bob's great compassionate heart betrays him yet again.
 
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Gee, if only there was some pipeline built between Canada and USA which maybe Biden halted....
What I really hate about Twatter is that it discourages debate and the presentation of evidence, instead encouraging hot takes and snippy one-liners.

In Canadaland, gas is 8 Canadian dollars per gallon. Converted to USD, that's about $6.70 (sauce), or about $1.60 over the US average of $5.10 (sauce, archive because MSM and AP), or comparable to California's gas prices. This is likely due to similar taxation and regulation.

Beyond that, of course, is Biden halting Keystone, removing oil-rich land from drilling, revoking drilling licenses, etc. Biden and company are between a rock and a hard place. They're facing a potential shellacking come November, and stand to lose control of Congress if they don't reverse course. If they do reverse course, though, their rabid voter base will riot.

But coming to this conclusion requires critical thinking, which is beyond the Lord of Lynn's mental capabilities.
 
My friends sometimes stream Bob's MattPat videos for laughs and it's mostly Bob jerking himself off by either having Matt bring up politics or some comic storyline Bob mangles because he couldn't even read the wikipedia article right. The irony being the MCU is extremely distanced from the comics to the point of it being an "adaptation" is only in the technical sense. So Bob's "theories" are always way off the mark because he keeps thinking "Let's pull up a random comic story which traits of might get in" meanwhile Marvel Studios is doing shit like "What if we get rid of Atlantis in Namor's backstory and make him just Mexican?" that you'd think were a shitpost if somebody else said it

It's all just very bizarre and you'd sound crazy trying to explain it. It's not even exclusive to Bob, it seems there are large groups of people out there that like making "theories" where it's less actually examining the work they're cooming over to notice patterns or tone and more just throwing around names to make yourself sound more knowledgeable.
Like I said, clearly there's a market for it or else MatPat wouldn't have built a veritable empire out of it (good lord, Film Theory alone almost has 100 times the number of subs Bob does, and a single video outpaces his entire channel in views for like, two months; no wonder he's treating their success as his). There truly is a sucker born every minute.

The "explainer" videos really make me laugh, though. Like, do you really need someone to explain the Backrooms to you? "Humans have an aversion to empty, sterile, unknown environments, made worse by the implication that it's infinite." There, I saved you the trouble, you don't need to go any more in-depth than that. But you gotta get to ten minutes for adbux, so let's just fart around sucking our own dicks about how smart we are and how we truly get it.

If you want further insight into the mindset of "theorists" and their supporters, take a look at the comments for his video where he complains about being scapegoated for spoiling plots with his videos. All of them that I can see are just dickriding Mat and saying that they like being spoiled because they apparently can't think for themselves. One in particular I disagree with vehemently:
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It's kind of a perfect encapsulation of shit. Anime girl profile pic with troon-flag hair color, discussing the opinions of someone who worked on Steven Universe, and basically saying that being given exactly what you think you are going to get is better than being surprised. This is the general audience. This is the level of person you have to deal with to reach any level of success. Aim any higher than this dullard's take, and you'll never be more than niche.

Maybe I'm just being really pessimistic here, but as someone who actually enjoys quality fiction that truly surprises me, damn if this shit doesn't get under my skin. In a world where I've already seen so many movies and TV shows so that I can basically call the plot out ahead of time, being truly surprised is such a rarity and a joy. There is little skill involved in just following basic storytelling conceits and being able to predict where most stories go, and that there are people that really seem to think MatPat is a genius for doing so is just sad.

And on a final, more uplifting note, it's absolutely hilarious that Bob is so bad at this that he can't even clear that low of a bar and get his basic predictions right most of the time.
 
My friends sometimes stream Bob's MattPat videos for laughs and it's mostly Bob jerking himself off by either having Matt bring up politics or some comic storyline Bob mangles because he couldn't even read the wikipedia article right. The irony being the MCU is extremely distanced from the comics to the point of it being an "adaptation" is only in the technical sense. So Bob's "theories" are always way off the mark because he keeps thinking "Let's pull up a random comic story which traits of might get in" meanwhile Marvel Studios is doing shit like "What if we get rid of Atlantis in Namor's backstory and make him just Mexican?" that you'd think were a shitpost if somebody else said it

It's all just very bizarre and you'd sound crazy trying to explain it. It's not even exclusive to Bob, it seems there are large groups of people out there that like making "theories" where it's less actually examining the work they're cooming over to notice patterns or tone and more just throwing around names to make yourself sound more knowledgeable.
Does Bob actually host those videos, or is he just credited as a researcher who gets a ton of shit wrong? Also, which video should I watch because this sounds hilarious.
 
It's kind of a perfect encapsulation of shit. Anime girl profile pic with troon-flag hair color, discussing the opinions of someone who worked on Steven Universe, and basically saying that being given exactly what you think you are going to get is better than being surprised. This is the general audience. This is the level of person you have to deal with to reach any level of success. Aim any higher than this dullard's take, and you'll never be more than niche.

Maybe I'm just being really pessimistic here, but as someone who actually enjoys quality fiction that truly surprises me, damn if this shit doesn't get under my skin. In a world where I've already seen so many movies and TV shows so that I can basically call the plot out ahead of time, being truly surprised is such a rarity and a joy. There is little skill involved in just following basic storytelling conceits and being able to predict where most stories go, and that there are people that really seem to think MatPat is a genius for doing so is just sad.
I am going to disagree with you, but not in the way that you think.

And that is part of me is very annoyed at many writers who do prioritize surprises to the detriment of the story. To the point of outright making something that's nonsensical because "hey, nobody saw that coming!" It's also completely lazy. It takes no skill to have something like Star Wars: The Last Jedi with the bad guy closing in on the good guys and then have Superman fly down and wreck all of the First Order hardware and then justify this with "hey, what a surprise!"

But you're also right, sometimes the "I knew it" crowd is bad in the complete opposite direction. Good writing is good writing whether it has a twist or is paint by the numbers, neither method on its own makes the story good or bad.

I had watched some of the game theory stuff in the past, I'll admit a lot of it is that Matt can be entertaining and charming (or he was at the time). It had a real "college-dorm room" feel to it where you'd sit around with your buddies and invent bullshit stuff to talk about into the wee hours.
 
Like I said, clearly there's a market for it or else MatPat wouldn't have built a veritable empire out of it (good lord, Film Theory alone almost has 100 times the number of subs Bob does, and a single video outpaces his entire channel in views for like, two months; no wonder he's treating their success as his). There truly is a sucker born every minute.

The "explainer" videos really make me laugh, though. Like, do you really need someone to explain the Backrooms to you? "Humans have an aversion to empty, sterile, unknown environments, made worse by the implication that it's infinite." There, I saved you the trouble, you don't need to go any more in-depth than that. But you gotta get to ten minutes for adbux, so let's just fart around sucking our own dicks about how smart we are and how we truly get it.

If you want further insight into the mindset of "theorists" and their supporters, take a look at the comments for his video where he complains about being scapegoated for spoiling plots with his videos. All of them that I can see are just dickriding Mat and saying that they like being spoiled because they apparently can't think for themselves. One in particular I disagree with vehemently:
View attachment 3381187
It's kind of a perfect encapsulation of shit. Anime girl profile pic with troon-flag hair color, discussing the opinions of someone who worked on Steven Universe, and basically saying that being given exactly what you think you are going to get is better than being surprised. This is the general audience. This is the level of person you have to deal with to reach any level of success. Aim any higher than this dullard's take, and you'll never be more than niche.

Maybe I'm just being really pessimistic here, but as someone who actually enjoys quality fiction that truly surprises me, damn if this shit doesn't get under my skin. In a world where I've already seen so many movies and TV shows so that I can basically call the plot out ahead of time, being truly surprised is such a rarity and a joy. There is little skill involved in just following basic storytelling conceits and being able to predict where most stories go, and that there are people that really seem to think MatPat is a genius for doing so is just sad.

And on a final, more uplifting note, it's absolutely hilarious that Bob is so bad at this that he can't even clear that low of a bar and get his basic predictions right most of the time.
If you want a great example of how bad Bob is with it, look into whenever he brings up Blade on twitter
Bob's suggested Blade vs Morbius happening at some point. Now this is an idea that actually has a basis in something. He probably saw on Wikipedia that in the comics, Blade being half-vampire didn't actually give him powers like in the movie and just made him immune to bites. He didn't get actual powers until Morbius bit him later on and it got through since he's not a real vampire. There's already a Morbius movie so there's a chance of this happening, right?

The problem? Besides Morbius being a Sony movie making it unlikely he'd ever show up in anything that isn't a co-production like the Spider-Man movies, do you know why Blade's first MCU appearance is in Eternals of all things? If you actually pay attention to behind the scenes statements then you'd know there's a good chance that MCU's take on vampires won't actually be vampires like in the comics. Instead there's a decent chance they're going to be related to the Deviants which they adapted as mindless alien monsters used for population control unlike the comic Deviants who are early humans so mangled from genetic tampering that they're constantly mutating. This lines up with the director for MCU Blade saying he's "not beholden to Blade canon" which he believes doesn't exist. So there's a very real chance that MCU Blade is about aliens for some asinine reason.

On a similar note, this is why any theory involving Dr. Doom or Magneto is stupid. It ignores that Feige has stated he doesn't like treading the same grounds as previous adaptations. They were featured too heavily in previous incarnations. Mr. Sinister is more likely to show up as the main X-Men villain. It's also doubtful they'd do the mutants/humans conflict to any major degree as it's both a heavy part of Fox X-Men and tackling social commentary in any serious manner is way outside their comfort zone. They'd probably only resort to using them if pushed into a corner

Does Bob actually host those videos, or is he just credited as a researcher who gets a ton of shit wrong? Also, which video should I watch because this sounds hilarious.
The latter, MattPat's the only one who appears but you can tell what lines were written by Bob. He doesn't actually appear in them outside the recent Dr. Strange one. As far which ones I'd say are the funniest.....idk, it's a tough call but the ones that stick out in my mind are the Falcon and Winter Soldier one where he thought Disney was going to use it as a manifesto for world conquest, the Eternals where he thought they'd somehow turn into the Mandarin's rings and Phase 4-6 will be another fetch quest, or the Dr. Strange one which he got hung-up on America Chavez's name to create this dumb analogy where she represents America the country which is young, gay, and Latina with Dr. Strange being Jesus protecting her from a MAGA woman (Scarlet Witch)

Honorable mention to WandaVision where he was convinced one irrelevant side character was Arcana Jones because she's blonde and it was totally setting up Squadron Supreme for Marvel Studios to parody the DCEU. There's also a Hawkeye one where he was convinced that a watch in one episode was going to lead to time traveling Wolverine showing up but I forget if that's film theory or his own channel. Disney+ shows tend to get more insanity from him that the actual movies.
 
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I am going to disagree with you, but not in the way that you think.

And that is part of me is very annoyed at many writers who do prioritize surprises to the detriment of the story. To the point of outright making something that's nonsensical because "hey, nobody saw that coming!" It's also completely lazy. It takes no skill to have something like Star Wars: The Last Jedi with the bad guy closing in on the good guys and then have Superman fly down and wreck all of the First Order hardware and then justify this with "hey, what a surprise!"

But you're also right, sometimes the "I knew it" crowd is bad in the complete opposite direction. Good writing is good writing whether it has a twist or is paint by the numbers, neither method on its own makes the story good or bad.

I had watched some of the game theory stuff in the past, I'll admit a lot of it is that Matt can be entertaining and charming (or he was at the time). It had a real "college-dorm room" feel to it where you'd sit around with your buddies and invent bullshit stuff to talk about into the wee hours.
Oh I agree wholeheartedly, writers who get up their own ass about "deconstructing" are the worst (cough cough Rian). I'd rather have a solid movie that delivers everything I expected to get than a hack writer doing a terrible job of "subverting expectations." But I'd rather have a quality story that truly surprises me above all else, one that goes in directions I didn't expect and manages to stick the landing in the process. It's a rare thing to find, but it's always a joy when I do.

It almost makes watching movies or what have you a little bit dull for me, because I can't really turn the part of my brain off that's trying to work everything out as I go along, even things that aren't in the story proper. As an example, I recently watched GoldenEye for the first time about a month ago, and (spoilers for a 25-year-old movie) I had a laugh at how Sean Bean's character died in the first five minutes. Then I saw his name in the credits as second billing behind Pierce Brosnan, and I immediately thought "...okay, wait, they wouldn't credit him so highly if he only showed up for five minutes, that means he can't actually be dead," and sure enough. (Though he did still die anyway, so that still counts as an example of Sean Bean always dying.)

Thing is, as long as the story is still engaging, it doesn't detract from the experience that much. GoldenEye is still goofy and fun in all the right ways, and even though I called the "twist" during the opening credits, I still had a blast watching it. I didn't feel smart for calling it, I didn't feel vindicated, I just stopped thinking about it after that and enjoyed the movie. But when a quality movie also manages to surprise me (like Everything Everywhere All at Once did recently), that gives me peak enjoyment.

But as you said, good writing is first and foremost. Any hack writer can throw in a nonsensical twist that nobody would ever have seen coming, but a skilled writer can take the simplest tropes and craft them into an engaging story that stands the test of time.
 
What point is even trying to be made in this tweet? There has been a discourse on PC culture since the 90s because it's been an issue since then. It's only gotten much worse in the past 30 years and that's why people still bring it up. The name for it changes overtime but the problem is unsolved.
 
Sayeth @RockVolnutt:

the Dr. Strange one which he got hung-up on America Chavez's name to create this dumb analogy where she represents America the country which is young, gay, and Latina with Dr. Strange being Jesus protecting her from a MAGA woman (Scarlet Witch)

This is the most perfectly emblematic and perfectly retarded Bob take I've read in quite some time. One simply must marvel at it, frozen in something akin to awe that someone can be this silly, this ideological, this autistic, this deranged. Time is a flat circle, and so is Bob's alcohol and diabetes addled brain.
 
Sayeth @RockVolnutt:



This is the most perfectly emblematic and perfectly retarded Bob take I've read in quite some time. One simply must marvel at it, frozen in something akin to awe that someone can be this silly, this ideological, this autistic, this deranged. Time is a flat circle, and so is Bob's alcohol and diabetes addled brain.
There's so many layers to it that you don't even know which angle to take. The fact Bob doesn't understand that America is an actual name people IRL have? The fact America Chavez in particular is named after golden age character, Miss America, who's named after the beauty pageant? His 180 on Jesus symbolism? The absurdity of characterizing another immigrant woman who came to the US for a better life as a "MAGA stuck in the past" just because she's from a Slavic country?

It's very intricate as far as ignorance goes.
 
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