Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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Bob and his ilk take the hardline stance that feti can't be people, because if they were, this would mean pregnant women "have no rights" and thus would be forced birthed while barefoot, pregnant, and chained to the stove in the kitchen. Only by the miracle of Mifepristone (or a D&C knife) can a woman be freed from the shackles that weigh her down. This is why Bob and company perpetually strawman the Pro-Life movement as something out of the pages of A Handmaid's Tale. Nothing gets the ire of the pro-abortion set going like "They don't actually care about the babby; they want to CONTROL YOUR BODY."

All while pasting idiotic screencaps of facehuggers, which unlike with real pregnancies, the results of the facehuggers is always fatal.
@Koby_Fish Yeah, that'd be NICE if women didn't have to work and could take care of the home and the kids, but what these retards don't understand is, thanks to second wave feminism that's an excellent way to STARVE. I'm starting to think if these people want religion out of babymaking then we also need to get rid of child support and alimony, two things that religious MEN worked hard for them to have but doesn't really need to exist in the modern era.

But of course, we all know what they'd say about that...
 
It's not middle age. Vidya probably doesn't hit the same for you because most video games these days are shite and not worth getting excited about. They don't hit the same for him because he was never actually particularly interested in them. If he was it was in the same way and with the same kind of fervour that he's now interested in MCU capeshit, i.e. Nintendo games were the next 'big thing' that he could be 'in on' and pretend to be knowledgeable about whilst having at best a surface level interest and knowledge in the actual product.

No, it really is different. I could burn an entire weekend on Oblivion back in the day, or play an online FPS for 5 hours straight, or marathon shitty B movies. If you had asked me when I was 20, I would have loved to spend every waking hour just CONSOOMING entertainment. In my 40s, sure, I enjoy a game or movie, but not in these big binges. Not even every day. It can be a 10/10 classic from the golden age, it just doesn't hit the same.

What I have noticed is that both Bob and Boogie are quite transparently equally bored with entertainment. But unlike me, these guys are in their 40s with no job, no family of any kind, and almost completely socially isolated. They're living their adolescent dream of no responsibilities, no obligations, just piles of toys to play with...and they're not having fun. They're miserable.
 
No, it really is different. I could burn an entire weekend on Oblivion back in the day, or play an online FPS for 5 hours straight, or marathon shitty B movies. If you had asked me when I was 20, I would have loved to spend every waking hour just CONSOOMING entertainment. In my 40s, sure, I enjoy a game or movie, but not in these big binges. Not even every day. It can be a 10/10 classic from the golden age, it just doesn't hit the same.

What I have noticed is that both Bob and Boogie are quite transparently equally bored with entertainment. But unlike me, these guys are in their 40s with no job, no family of any kind, and almost completely socially isolated. They're living their adolescent dream of no responsibilities, no obligations, just piles of toys to play with...and they're not having fun. They're miserable.
I figure it's like cake. As a kid you'd love to eat an entire cake for dinner, as an adult, you have cake as a treat once in a while. I only have spare time on weekends to play games these days, but after doing that for about an hour, my responsibilities simply take priority so I just stop. Bob meanwhile gorges himself on cake and calls it a meal well into his 30's, hence the diabetes.
 
I figure it's like cake. As a kid you'd love to eat an entire cake for dinner, as an adult, you have cake as a treat once in a while. I only have spare time on weekends to play games these days, but after doing that for about an hour, my responsibilities simply take priority so I just stop. Bob meanwhile gorges himself on cake and calls it a meal well into his 30's, hence the diabetes.

It is very much like that. Cake and candy literally tasted better when I was a kid. Today, sure, I enjoy a piece of fudge cake on my birthday, or some pie now and then, but for example, I bought a Snickers bar not too long ago, haven't had one in 20 years, and holy fuck was that a sugar assault on my tastebuds. It was absolutely disgusting.
 
Bob is not into movies in any meaningful way. None of his rambling takes on movies evidence any ability to actually think about the movie he watched or put it in context of anything else. He mostly likes movies that send him back to the cocoon of childhood, but he can't really put it that way.
I think it's similar to Mario. He loved the cartoons as a kid and read Nintendo Power, so he assumed that made him a gaming expert. With movies, he loved The Critic cartoon and read some movie magazines, plus watched some obscure shit he found at the video store he would later work at, and assumed this was enough to make him an expert. It's why he loves to insist that film critics don't know the first thing about film making, and even directors don't. Because it excuses his ignorance.

Yes he did that "film analysis" course in college, but let's face it, it was all bullshit.
 
I think it's similar to Mario. He loved the cartoons as a kid and read Nintendo Power, so he assumed that made him a gaming expert. With movies, he loved The Critic cartoon and read some movie magazines, plus watched some obscure shit he found at the video store he would later work at, and assumed this was enough to make him an expert. It's why he loves to insist that film critics don't know the first thing about film making, and even directors don't. Because it excuses his ignorance.

Yes he did that "film analysis" course in college, but let's face it, it was all bullshit.
I believe he barely payed attention in class and squeaked through with a C-.
 
I'd love to find out if he even has a four year degree.
"A lifelong student of film-history, filmmaking and popular-culture, he is a graduate of Salem State University with a degree in Multimedia Art and Film Studies."

Now, in the oldest Salem State catalog they have (2002) online, there is no Multimedia Arts or Film Studies Major. There is a Film Studies minor, but no Multimedia minor of any kind. So fuck me if I know what Bob holds a degree in, if he does.

I have no idea what year Bob claims to have graduated, but it looks like they started offering an Interactive Multimedia art degree in 2004, but that seems a bit late for our 41 year old hero. unless he had some gap years.
 
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No, it really is different. I could burn an entire weekend on Oblivion back in the day, or play an online FPS for 5 hours straight, or marathon shitty B movies. If you had asked me when I was 20, I would have loved to spend every waking hour just CONSOOMING entertainment. In my 40s, sure, I enjoy a game or movie, but not in these big binges. Not even every day. It can be a 10/10 classic from the golden age, it just doesn't hit the same.

What I have noticed is that both Bob and Boogie are quite transparently equally bored with entertainment. But unlike me, these guys are in their 40s with no job, no family of any kind, and almost completely socially isolated. They're living their adolescent dream of no responsibilities, no obligations, just piles of toys to play with...and they're not having fun. They're miserable.
Well, you've answered your own question, really. Consooming popular media doesn't hold the same appeal for you any more because you're older, you have responsibilities, you've come to realise that consooming popular media is not a good use of your time.

Blob and Boogie1488 are bored with entertainment because deep down, they know something's missing. They know it's not giving them fulfilment. They're both 40 something morbidly obese sacks of shit, Blob's a perpetual virgin, Boogie's wife left him, both their careers are going to shit and they try to fill the void by consuming popular culture and they know it's not enough.
I have no idea what year Bob claims to have graduated, but it looks like they started offering an Interactive Multimedia art degree in 2004, but that seems a bit late for our 41 year old hero. unless he had some gap years.
It really wouldn't be out of character for our 'Superior Intellectual' to have needed to take a couple years off just to resit his SATs or whatever, even for a State College that takes most of its applicants
 
Imagine Bob having to explain to Ma Chipman why there's a dead hooker in her basement.
"Ma, it's fine! She was just a MAGA worshipping bigot! Nobody's going to miss her, and no one will ever notice the smell. Ma-Ma- d-don't call the police! They won't understand. Their Believer brains can't comprehend what I did. I struck the first blow in my holy war against the mayo ghouls! Her blood will be used to water the wheat that will grow on the moon in the Superior Future! I will take Lindsay Ellis as my que- Ma, where are you going? You better not tell the cops, Ma! Ma, you still there? Ma? Crap."
 
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He got this terribly wrong, but I'll explain what he meant: Back when Weinstein had his own company, he would buy up the distribution rights to movies and then demand they be cut down without even watching them. For example, with Snowpiercer, he told the director he needed to cut out 20 minutes of the movie the first time they spoke. The director refused so Harvey made his threat: If the film got recut, it would go to 1500 theaters. If it wasn't, it would only go to 500. It wasn't recut so it got a small release, though good word of mouth helped it reach almost 90 million on a 40 million budget.

I think he's under the impression that the new executive dude is doing the same thing... somehow.
This actually brings up another key difference. Weinstein was often taking other people's projects and shepherding them to release, this is part of what made him so powerful for so long. This is the head of the entire company saying "we're not going to do these projects and lose money on them" including cutting out an entire class of project without care to what they are. To Bob they're both Bad Men doing Bad Things to Good People. You can dislike both things, and certainly can criticize them if they fail to produce results (Weinstein and Zaslav's track records indicate they at least have some insight to business unlike Bob), but they're nothing alike.

Bob knows so little about the one thing he's supposed to be an expert on, it's maybe funnier than all his Thinker level rants on all the other subjects combined.

"A lifelong student of film-history, filmmaking and popular-culture, he is a graduate of Salem State University with a degree in Multimedia Art and Film Studies."

Now, in the oldest Salem State catalog they have (2002) online, there is no Multimedia Arts or Film Studies Major. There is a Film Studies minor, but no Multimedia minor of any kind. So fuck me if I know what Bob holds a degree in, if he does.

I have no idea what year Bob claims to have graduated, but it looks like they started offering an Interactive Multimedia art degree in 2004, but that seems a bit late for our 41 year old hero. unless he had some gap years.
Huh, after looking at that old catalog this would indicate that Bob did graduate at least after the new degree was created for 2004. So he was at Salem State for five or six years? Bob could have studied towards the "future" degree before it was official, this actually isn't uncommon as professors will know they're coming, but he couldn't have graduated until the degree was available unless he did it as independent study and is just claiming the closet degree.

I think he actually did once admit years ago that Film Studies was his minor. I know I've been pointing it out for a long time even before I signed up here. He used to be a lot more honest about his background
 
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"Look mommy, I'm fishing for likes with a trending hastag!"

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This ain't even near the top 50 most pathetic Robert has ever been, but acting up like a tic toc teen as if you are genuinely upset over fucking Batgirl getting the ax is still pretty sad.

Really, this your is boogeyman Robert, some executive that had to put the hatchetman act because his numbers guy told him to, otherwise he woul lose his job and someone else would do it?
 
Edit: Correct me if I'm wrong but do we even have any record of him having attachment to movies?
Does Guardians of the Galaxy series count? I can't find the quote but he said the first film was the last film he saw with his dad.

Discovery investor call.
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What so wrong with the "four women drinking mimosa..." tactic? Is it Bad Tactic?

Nutters are having a field day with this slide, with its "male skew" vs "female skew" distinction.
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"That's the stench of Discovery". BTW Bobby thinks Henry Cavill can't act.
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Getting upset over a 33-minute wigger video, because Bobby has better taste.
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Let's get back to Batgirl.
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Who lost a job? Does Bobby even know what a job is?

Il Fashionisto Roberto has problem with men in their 60s wearing puffer vests. They probably remind him of the dads of high school girls, the dads who warned Bobby in very hurtful terms to stop creeping at their daughters.
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The mention of "Dominican" suggests the following is about Leslie Grace. (See? I didn't know who Leslie Grace was 3 days ago and now I even know her nationality. The cancelation is doing her a big favor.)
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The Twitter of the OP, Fear The Fuzzy, is pretty lulzy and nonhuman.

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Why can't DC be like MCU and Kevin Feige, who make shit up as they go?
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Ezra Miller:
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Bobby runs out of things to say but he must vent, so he just resorts to random "humor":
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This is how The Right Side of History documents the past:
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Bobby Believes in SCIENCE, unlike Peter Coffin senpai:
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Bobby loves experts. I daresay those SCIENTISTS know climate models (which aren't the same as climate itself) like the back of their hands, but are they experts in banking and investments? Has these SCIENTISTS realize that "investing in fossil fuels" also means making more efficient, less polluting use of them?

People, especially internet autists like us, are beginning to recognize how the Unproductive Class is trying to limit speech and thoughts, and they are fighting back.
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I hope our giant rage-piggy can apply his own insights on the Batgirl debacle.
 
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Its so weird when consumers act suprised that companies making all the product they consume have weird demographic charts. Like if you dont like that, dont consume bland sludge

Anyway a random thought I had: does anyone notice this habit Bob has of really annoying Nerd Metaphors. I watched his El Camino review recently and got really annoyed when he said Better Call Saul was Vince Gilligan’s equivalent of “The Silmarillion” …no, it’s nothing like that. That’s insane
 
I'd love to find out if he even has a four year degree.
Is there any way to see if he actually completed his course? It wouldn't surprise me if he flunked out. He mentioned being in college when 9/11 happened but he could have taken a year off in between.

Huh, after looking at that old catalog this would indicate that Bob did graduate at least after the new degree was created for 2004. So he was at Salem State for five or six years? Bob could have studied towards the "future" degree before it was official, this actually isn't uncommon as professors will know they're coming, but he couldn't have graduated until the degree was available unless he did it as independent study and is just claiming the closet degree.

I think he actually did once admit years ago that Film Studies was his minor. I know I've been pointing it out for a long time even before I signed up here. He used to be a lot more honest about his background
He left high school in 1999, so if he did a four year course, that'd mean he would have graduated in 2003. Maybe it's something as simple as he failed his classes, had to take them again the next semester, and then the degree came about while he was still making up course work. Or, another simple answer, he never did that course, but knew someone who does film reviews in Boston who did and is just lying so he can pretend he's more educated than he really is and his degree, if he has one, is in telecommunications or something. I doubt it was in English.
 
Does Guardians of the Galaxy series count? I can't find the quote but he said the first film was the last film he saw with his dad.
Not really for the sake of what I'm talking about. I meant do we have any proof that movies actually mean something to Bob before he became a movie critic or did he only pick this job because movies ask the least from him?
 
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Is there any way to see if he actually completed his course? It wouldn't surprise me if he flunked out. He mentioned being in college when 9/11 happened but he could have taken a year off in between.
I mean. he also claimed the station manager of his local public access station took him into the back of his van and threatened him with violence if he didn't give The Passion a good review, so it's not beyond his scope to lie

What do employers do when they want to find out if an applicant is bullshitting about their degree? What did the people who found out John Flynt never actually finished college do?
 
Its so weird when consumers act suprised that companies making all the product they consume have weird demographic charts. Like if you dont like that, dont consume bland sludge

Anyway a random thought I had: does anyone notice this habit Bob has of really annoying Nerd Metaphors. I watched his El Camino review recently and got really annoyed when he said Better Call Saul was Vince Gilligan’s equivalent of “The Silmarillion” …no, it’s nothing like that. That’s insane
I would put money on Bob having never read The Silmarillion, let alone appreciated it. He's just trying to call it a prequel but in the most sophisticated way he thinks he can.

But calling The Silmarillion a prequel to The Lord of the Rings is like calling The Bible a prequel to WW2.

On that note, has Bob ever described a film as the "Dark Souls of movies" or something retarded like that?

Edit: I just read one of the comments when he was sperging out over some Danny Dank guy -"Bob's done more in his life than you ever will you mewling quim" oh God my sides. Imagine trying to be so badass on twitter to stand up for a man who has, in fact, never done anything of value with his life. That comment needs to be preserved somewhere, in a museum or something.
 
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