Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[RockVolnutt]

But where is Bob in this dynamic, being too flabby and disgusting to be a jock, and too abysmally stupid to be a nerd?

That one fat special ed kid who keeps talking about anime they never watched.

 

[RodgerDodger]

"

Bob Chipman: Closet animation sperg.
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Actually what Bob is oh so cleverly referencing is this bit of blood chilling Nickolodeon history. (apologies for RedState, but its the best most recent summary of this douchenozzel pedopredator)
https://www.redstate.com/kiradavis/...ex-scandal-already-breaking...at-nickelodeon/
Read it and be prepared to throw up. You can be forgiven for just thinking it was just normal purposeless Bob Sperging as he rarely mentally ventures past 1998 except shake his flabby arm in anger while schrieking TRUMP!!!

 

[SteelPlatedHeart]

What's the sexism/racism/ism-of-the-day complaint about them? Lord knows I don't care for CinemaSins, but I certainly never noticed that aspect to their stuff. But then I am notoriously unwoke.

The “that’s rasist/sexist”, “scene does not contain a lap dance”, and “(female actor) isn’t my girlfriend in this scene” running gag sins, apparently. Ignoring that these are fucking jokes.

 

[Brother Wind]

Actually what Bob is oh so cleverly referencing is this bit of blood chilling Nickolodeon history. (apologies for RedState, but its the best most recent summary of this douchenozzel pedopredator)
https://www.redstate.com/kiradavis/...ex-scandal-already-breaking...at-nickelodeon/
Read it and be prepared to throw up. You can be forgiven for just thinking it was just normal purposeless Bob Sperging as he rarely mentally ventures past 1998 except shake his flabby arm in anger while schrieking TRUMP!!!

Oh goddamn, I completely forgot about him. His bullshit has long been questioned. He of all people needs to go down during this

 

[Asa_Spades60]

Why else would you shoot a fucking elephant?

Because it got in your pajamas and you don't know how?

 

[Butta Face Lopez]

If I was running for office and someone asked me my favorite Nickelodeon show, I'd say "What the fuck kind of retarded question is that, you idiot? Who let you in here?"

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

If Bob had kids I could see him being a dick if he got them a Mario game. He'd hog it for himself to play as Mario and mainly let them play if they want to be Luigi or Toad. It wouldn't surprise me if he doesn't get what "co-op" implies and gets passive aggressive at his kids "getting in the way". "I'm the hero dammit!"

In the unlikely event Bob ever had kids, I would kill to see how those kids would rebel.

"Fuck you dad! I don't like Mario!"
"Your Superior Future is fascist!"
"Halo and Call of Duty are my favorite video games!"

Best part would be he couldn't even ignore them since they're his kids and they live in his house so he can't use that intellectually dishonest tactic he's so fond of. Too bad the chances of that happening are somewhere between nil and absolutely impossible.

 

[Kyria the Great]

In the unlikely event Bob ever had kids, I would kill to see how those kids would rebel.

"Fuck you dad! I don't like Mario!"
"Your Superior Future is fascist!"
"Halo and Call of Duty are my favorite video games!"

Best part would be he couldn't even ignore them since they're his kids and they live in his house so he can't use that intellectually dishonest tactic he's so fond of. Too bad the chances of that happening are somewhere between nil and absolutely impossible.

Unless someone impregnates one of his fatfolds, then there is a sliver of a chance.

 

[Butta Face Lopez]

In the unlikely event Bob ever had kids, I would kill to see how those kids would rebel.

"I'm going to the gym!"

 

[Anonimo]

In the unlikely event Bob ever had kids, I would kill to see how those kids would rebel.

"I'm voting Republican!"

 

[Kyria the Great]

In the unlikely event Bob ever had kids, I would kill to see how those kids would rebel.

"Marvel movies are shit dad, I am going to watch Fight Club and Wolf of Wall Street!"

 

[Mola Ram]

"Marvel movies are shit dad, I am going to watch Fight Club and Wolf of Wall Street!"

"Anita Sarkeesian is a cunt! Viva Pepe!"

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

"Anita Sarkeesian is a cunt! Viva Pepe!"

I'm going to register as a Republican.

 

[The Wwwyzzerdd]

"Anita Sarkeesian is a cunt! Viva Pepe!"

"I'm moving to Nebraska!"

 

[His Dewliness]

In the unlikely event Bob ever had kids, I would kill to see how those kids would rebel.

Fuck you Dad, I'm going to agricultural college whether you like it or not!

 

[Gordon Cole]

Yeah, they still put in more effort than you.

You're a Steppenwolf.

Bobwin's Law in action.

A movie basically built around one joke repeated over and over. Why hasn't he been snatched up by Hollywood yet?

No, and Pixels did the same thing.

You're right, The Rock's social media intern "get's" it.

 

[Mola Ram]

You're right, The Rock's social media intern "get's" it.
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So ... the evolved 21st Century Man is gleefully anticipating a quality film like the Rampage adaptation, huh?

What a refined cinematic palate!

 

[The Nothingness]

I am guessing Steppenwolf is a better villain than the dark elf character in the second Thor movie or the villain in the second Iron Man movie

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

No, and Pixels did the same thing.

Firstly, reading the plot description on Wikipedia, this Rampage movie is gonna suck. It's nothing like the games; instead of people being mutated into giant creatures, it's regular animals being mutated into giants, and from the sound of it they're not even the focus; instead the focus is on some terrorist group that's mutating animals. If you're going to completely do away with the original source material outside of the names of the creatures, what's the point of even using Rampage besides name recognition?

Secondly, it never fails to amuse me that Bob is more excited about movies that stroke his nostalgia boner regardless of whether or not the movie is terrible. And his reasoning is flawed; 80s arcade games have little to no story so there's not really anything to make a movie on. At least the games that are adapted into movies have actual stories and characters. But of course, Bob hates those games so they don't matter.

 

[The Valeyard]

Firstly, reading the plot description on Wikipedia, this Rampage movie is gonna suck. It's nothing like the games; instead of people being mutated into giant creatures, it's regular animals being mutated into giants, and from the sound of it they're not even the focus; instead the focus is on some terrorist group that's mutating animals. If you're going to completely do away with the original source material outside of the names of the creatures, what's the point of even using Rampage besides name recognition.

Just like DOOM, another video game adaptation that The Rock was in. Instead of being from Hell, the "demons" were the result of genetic experimentation gone wrong.