Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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Its hilarious to me that Bob is still around. I used to occasionally watch him on the escapist back before it became a shortbus riding knock off of Kotaku. Is Yahtzee the only one left on that slowly dying site?
 
Oh look who took another shot at Bob.

Updated. Start at the 12 min mark.

"Bob Chipman ruined eugenics."
For those curious, at the 1:15:00-ish mark, Voxis shows up.

You know, the drunk puppet?
 
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Oh look who took another shot at Bob.

Updated. Start at the 12 min mark.

"Bob Chipman ruined eugenics."

Holy shit, Bob has the same opinion on Last Jedi as Dobson.
I never realized that.

dobson this is you.jpg
 
To hurt Bob's case even more, the Germans the Basterds kill aren't fascist at all- they're National Socialists (AKA Nazis). If they were killing fascists, they'd be killing Mussolini's soldiers on the Italian peninsula.
For the last three years... every time someone praises antifa for fighting nazis, it has been a struggle to bite my tongue and not ask "You know that the fascists and Nazis were different people, right? If they're targeting Nazis, shouldn't they be antina and stop stealing all of the credit for what antifa did?"


Oh dear, the fat shithead either forgetting or completely not understanding that cartoons that aired in the early to mid 80s existed before the days of media oversturation and related shows would often be aired in a block whether or not both were currently in production. And that with cable and vcrs being luxury goods, the viewer was at the whim of whichever local channels they got and didn't have the convenience of googling up a wiki on cartoon continuity.

For most intents and purposes as far as nostalgia goes, the two shows were extensions of each other
 
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You have to remember that Bob doesn't even remotely grasp this concept. Bob has an incredibly black and white world view. You're either good or bad, there are no shades of grey according to Bob. Morally ambiguous is a concept he doesn't understand.

It's one of the reasons why he hated Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri so much.
Hmmm, just like Steve Ditko’s Objectivist superhero Mr. A...

69B5AF7F-B6F0-4712-BB0B-C271D3E285D8.gif
 
Also, “Movie”Bob probably never watched nor knows about Citizen Kane and The Godfather, two of AFI’s most significant American movies.
Bobby did watch a bit of Citizen Kane and came up with the impression that Welles was a manchild.
He describes Citizen Kane as "what many called 'The Greatest Film of All Time'" (2:10 in that vid). You can almost taste his resentment.
 
Bobby did watch a bit of Citizen Kane and came up with the impression that Welles was a manchild.
He describes Citizen Kane as "what many called 'The Greatest Film of All Time'" (2:10 in that vid). You can almost taste his resentment.

Bob hates Orson Welles because the man is basically everything that he is (an arrogant pudge with a large appetite and politics that are redder than the Great Spot of Jupiter,) but unlike Bob, he's had great acclaim and sex with all kinds of hot babes. Orson Welles reminds Bob that the only thing keeping him from having similar success is his own lack of talent, hard work and charisma. One would expect that Bob, being so close personality-and-sizewise to Orson, would identify with Welles and aspire to be like him, but all Bob can do is seethe with envy like a spoiled child who just saw another kid being given a toy as a present.
 
Bobby did watch a bit of Citizen Kane and came up with the impression that Welles was a manchild.
He describes Citizen Kane as "what many called 'The Greatest Film of All Time'" (2:10 in that vid). You can almost taste his resentment.

Holy shit, Bob thinks Orson Welles wouldn't have thought it's weird that 40 year old adults are still totally obsessed with the transformers movie because Charles Foster Kane was still obsessed with Rosebud right before he died.

Does Bob realize that's supposed to be a tragic element of the movie? That this guy essentially never accomplished anything that made him as happy as he was playing with a sled when he was a small child and his life, despite his supposed accomplishments, was therefore empty, pointless and hollow? If the Transformers movie is "Rosebud" for an entire generation of manchildren, that says something pretty fucked up about that generation.
 
Holy shit, Bob thinks Orson Welles wouldn't have thought it's weird that 40 year old adults are still totally obsessed with the transformers movie because Charles Foster Kane was still obsessed with Rosebud right before he died.

Does Bob realize that's supposed to be a tragic element of the movie? That this guy essentially never accomplished anything that made him as happy as he was playing with a sled when he was a small child and his life, despite his supposed accomplishments, was therefore empty, pointless and hollow? If the Transformers movie is "Rosebud" for an entire generation of manchildren, that says something pretty fucked up about that generation.
"You know what I did this morning? I played the voice of a toy. Some terrible robot toys from Japan that changed from one thing to another. The Japanese have funded a full-length animated cartoon about the doings of these toys, which is all bad outer-space stuff. I play a planet. I menace somebody called Something-or-other. Then I'm destroyed. My plan to destroy Whoever-it-is is thwarted and I tear myself apart on the screen."
-Orson Welles on his role in the Transformers movie

Oh yeah, Welles would have totally viewed Bob as a respectable member of society. It's a true pity that meeting and conversation can never happen.
 
Holy shit, Bob thinks Orson Welles wouldn't have thought it's weird that 40 year old adults are still totally obsessed with the transformers movie because Charles Foster Kane was still obsessed with Rosebud right before he died.

Does Bob realize that's supposed to be a tragic element of the movie? That this guy essentially never accomplished anything that made him as happy as he was playing with a sled when he was a small child and his life, despite his supposed accomplishments, was therefore empty, pointless and hollow? If the Transformers movie is "Rosebud" for an entire generation of manchildren, that says something pretty fucked up about that generation.

I watched that whole review and bob claims that citizen kane is a critique of mass media. I guess you can make that argument but I find it kind of reaching as that stuff is basically minor subplots. This is a movie that is essentially a frame narrative told by people who hated kane. With an opening where a reporter is given an assignment to find out who kane really was. Now I'm no youtube spandex movie critic, but I think that might be a big part of what the movie is really about.

His interpretation of rosebud is also lead headed. Kane was a guy who was basically ripped away from his mother and raised by butlers, which again, might have something to do with his deathbed fixation on the sled. But nah it must be just like muh superhero shit.
 
These people can't even get their stereotypes right. Someone who loves Kubrick and European "art" movies that are basically porn isn't the kind of person who would like normie friendly movies about a white guy solving racism. I guess it's hard to be that much of a shill for MCU movies without being completely exceptional and forgetting the stereotype you're supposed to be sticking with.

Yeah. It's a really weird combination of complaints. Film snobs are slaves to received opinion (Citizen Kane and Kubrick), they don't like fun (they don't like animation, comedies, or genre pictures), they're insufficiently woke (they like white-guy-solves-racism movies, movies about the good ol' days of Hollywood that ignore racism, and movies with white people in black face, and they defend Bertolucci and Polanski), and they're hypocrites (they claim to not like sequels but like a sequel, they claim European movies are art but they watch it for the boobies). The woke complaint is thoroughly 21st century Twitter, but the "European art movies are porn lol" is the kind of thing my grandparents would have said in 1965 or something.
 
Since he brought up Transformers ‘86 regarding Orson Wells, has Bob delivered hot takes on Top Gun and Platoon, two movies from that year that were more culturally significant than Transformers ‘86?
Well since they're remaking Top Gun, we may get those delightful, microwaved-for-three-hours-straight Bob takes on it. I'd expect the same tone he had when he talked about Mission Impossible, whining about he doesn't get it, how it's not Mahvel, and some lazy unfunny Tom Cruise jokes, but in this case we'll also get some sperging about conservatives, jingoism, and the Reagan era. If we're really lucky he'll give his own pitch for the reboot that involves drone pilots bombing right wing secessionists in Texas.
 
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Well since they're remaking Top Gun, we may get those delightful, microwaved-for-three-hours-straight Bob takes on it. I'd expect the same tone he had when he talked about Mission Impossible, whining about he doesn't get it, how it's not Mahvel, and some lazy unfunny Tom Cruise jokes, but in this case we'll also get some sperging about conservatives, jingoism, and the Reagan era. If we're really lucking he'll give his own pitch for the reboot that involves drone pilots bombing right wing secessionists in Texas.
It’s a sequel next year, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he made that kind of pitch.
 
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