Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[instythot]

Bob could almost certainly move a tremendous amount of weight by brute force, shoving with his whole body, but I doubt he has any upper body strength at all. Motherfucker probably got winded hauling his disgusting Mountain Dew chicken in and out of the oven.

Ever seen one of those fat people who eat so hard they sweat? I am fairly certain Bob is one

 

[Doctor Placebo]

The only time Bob lifts a tremendous amount of weight is when he stands up.

If 310 is his actual body weight (no way does someone as tall and fat as him weigh 260, or whatever it was he said), and he came up with "benching 310" because he "lifts" that much standing up, that's about as close to the truth as I think that claim can get.

 

[Tactical Wizard]

Remember when Logan came out and he said that even though he liked it, he didn't want any other movies like it to be made? Well, what he's saying about Joker is very similar to that. It's very telling that he only says this about genre fare that doesn't align with his tastes (notice how he's never complained about movie studios trying to ape the Marvel Cinematic Universe).

MovieBob seems like the kind of guy who read Watchmen and unironically believed Ozymandias to be right. Which is funny since he's taken potshots at "reactionary Chuds who worship Rorschach" before.

(TBH this is pretty much me whenever I visit Bob's Twitter page)

I'm not surprised at all that Bob missed it but Rorschach goes through a very subtle redemption arc. When he confronts the landlady that sold him out to the evening news, he's unwilling to pursue the vendetta against her because it might hurt a child the way that he was hurt. It's telling that he shows a level of forbearance that a psychologically normal person would have difficulty maintaining in the face of what she publicly says about him and the look on his face is heartbreaking.

His mother being a whore was a significant factor that led to his being what he is. He tries to treat Nite Owl as a friend towards the end, even if he isn't any good at it and he's the only one who can't talk himself into allowing Adrian Veidt to kill millions of people, even if it was to prevent a nuclear war. When Dr. Manhattan ultimately does kill him, it adds a level of gravitas and tragedy that the page wouldn't otherwise have. I don't know if that was Allan Moore's intent but it's definitely there.

 

[Mola Ram]

I'm not surprised at all that Bob missed it but Rorschach goes through a very subtle redemption arc. When he confronts the landlady that sold him out to the evening news, he's unwilling to pursue the vendetta against her because it might hurt a child the way that he was hurt. It's telling that he shows a level of forbearance that a psychologically normal person would have difficulty maintaining in the face of what she publicly says about him and the look on his face is heartbreaking.

View attachment 930149

His mother being a whore was a significant factor that led to his being what he is. He tries to treat Nite Owl as a friend towards the end, even if he isn't any good at it and he's the only one who can't talk himself into allowing Adrian Veidt to kill millions of people, even if it was to prevent a nuclear war. I don't know if that was Allan Moore's intent but it's definitely there.

Bob demonstrating how little he understands Watchmen would probably make me sperg even harder than the Lord of the Rings retrospective he occasionally threatens to do. I have no doubt his grasp of Rorschach will be both facile and infuriating.

 

[MountainJew]

Bob demonstrating how little he understands Watchmen would probably make me sperg even harder than the Lord of the Rings retrospective he occasionally threatens to do. I have no doubt his grasp of Rorschach will be both facile and infuriating.

Christ, that Lord of the Rings retrospective would be unbearable to sit through. It would probably send me into a fit of tard rage with the way Bob likes to make shit up to either criticize or to praise movies while ignoring what is actually in the movie

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Bob demonstrating how little he understands Watchmen would probably make me sperg even harder than the Lord of the Rings retrospective he occasionally threatens to do. I have no doubt his grasp of Rorschach will be both facile and infuriating.

I tremble over the possibility of his hot takes on how Sauron and Mordor did nothing wrong and they were allegories for the superior future.

 

[Positron]

I tremble over the possibility of his hot takes on how Sauron and Mordor did nothing wrong and they were allegories for the superior future.

Sharkey knows best. Automatize The Shire. Those subhuman hobbits have it coming.

 

[BR55]

I tremble over the possibility of his hot takes on how Sauron and Mordor did nothing wrong and they were allegories for the superior future.

Well Tolkien's message that controlling and forcing "progress" and "order" on other people is wrong would be rather hard for a diehard fascist like Bob to understand.

Christ, that Lord of the Rings retrospective would be unbearable to sit through. It would probably send me into a fit of tard rage with the way Bob likes to make shit up to either criticize or to praise movies while ignoring what is actually in the movie

Lord of the Rings as told by Bob would be bad.
The Silmarillion as told by by Bob would be a whole new level of suffering and autism.
I can see the sperging now.
Feanor is clearly a Trump-like figure.
Galadriel is the Hillary Clinton of the Noldor.
Fingolfin and Fingon show the dangers of dude bro masculinity.
The Lay of Beren and Luthien is totes problematic and outdated.
Just count your blessings that Bob is too much of an uncultured swine to know about Tolkien's greatest work.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

I tremble over the possibility of his hot takes on how Sauron and Mordor did nothing wrong and they were allegories for the superior future.

"The Age of (ugh) Men is over! The Superior Future of the Orc is upon them! Why are those obsolete mayonnaise ghouls in Minas Tirith fighting back?! Fucking chuds!"

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Since Tolkien brought it up, had Bob delivered any hot takes on C.S. Lewis and the Narnia books?

 

[Doctor Placebo]

Since Tolkien brought it up, had Bob delivered any hot takes on C.S. Lewis and the Narnia books?

The white witch in The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe and the green witch in The Silver Chair are only villains because the reactionary Lewis was venting his misogyny and fear of women due to the impending likelihood of a Hillary Clinton presidency. But when you really read their actions in the books, they're actually important heralds of progress bringing the ignorant, unevolved citizens of Narnia into a superior future they were too backwards to properly appreciate.

Also, Lewis's depiction of Calormen is racist and Islamophobic.

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

I've burnt my hand one to many a time to get really hyped for a movie but I really want the Joker to be enjoyable just to have something else to laugh at Bobbyboi for.

I brought this up because I could've sworn that I've seen Bob use the phrase "douche bros" before. But after a quick search it seems he's only said it twice with the last one being in 2015. I bring that up because just clicking on it and reading through it was a joy. I hope to bring a spark of joy in this dark horrid world due to ZOMG DA FIRMS GAWT DAHXXXXED and Bob STILL won't talk about his biggest fans! One day, Bob-pai, you will screw up and notice us.

Spoiler: 2015 Bob or present day?

This is all from the same chain fyi

We can see the influence of Bing-Bing Wa-hoo on Bob's life.

To help keep up with his ballooning PBR expenses Bob's gonna start moonlighting as an accountant. He know's what's up.

And follow that up with...

Which of course is a question Bob cannot/will not answer because he learned from his Magneto vid to not say "I should".

Bob Chipman, I'm fairly certain that you'll be reading this at some point. I'm around 80-85% sure you've got Boulder King levels of Google alerts based on the complete randos you tweet about that comment about you on Twitter who you do not follow and do not tag you. I wanna stop you and answer the following: Why do we go digging through you're history and chronicle every dumb thing you say as you've complained about before? Well, for one, it's funny because you're ridiculous, and, two, to show that you have not changed at all for the better part of a decade. You are a fascinating rolly-polly ball of perpetual hate who is WAY too confident in his "abilities". You're like a modern day greek tragedy, a brilliant warning to future generations about the dangers of doing the Dew and huffing farts.

 

[BubbleButt]

I honestly trust Todd Phillips to be able to make a decent movie of an obsessive weirdo on the fringes of society.

 

[Red Hood]

Sharkey knows best. Automatize The Shire. Those subhuman hobbits have it coming.

Tolkien: The smallest person can make a difference; friendship and fellowship are valuable beyond wealth; natural resources are worth protecting.

Most importantly perhaps, evil cannot create its own things, it can only twist that which is good toward evil ends.

Bob sure doesn't create anything that isn't hugely derivative.

 

[Mola Ram]

Tolkien: The smallest person can make a difference; friendship and fellowship are valuable beyond wealth; natural resources are worth protecting.

Most importantly perhaps, evil cannot create its own things, it can only twist that which is good toward evil ends.

Bob sure doesn't create anything that isn't hugely derivative.

Eh, Bob doesn't have the abs to be Morgoth.

 

[Positron]

Eh, Bob doesn't have the abs to be Morgoth.

Bobby is Tom Bombadil, just as out-of-touch with the world and with the dress sense to match, except without a beautiful wife.

 

[Woke Blue Muttlema]

I've burnt my hand one to many a time to get really hyped for a movie but I really want the Joker to be enjoyable just to have something else to laugh at Bobbyboi for.
View attachment 931437

I brought this up because I could've sworn that I've seen Bob use the phrase "douche bros" before. But after a quick search it seems he's only said it twice with the last one being in 2015. I bring that up because just clicking on it and reading through it was a joy. I hope to bring a spark of joy in this dark horrid world due to ZOMG DA FIRMS GAWT DAHXXXXED and Bob STILL won't talk about his biggest fans! One day, Bob-pai, you will screw up and notice us.

Spoiler: 2015 Bob or present day?

This is all from the same chain fyi
View attachment 931474
We can see the influence of Bing-Bing Wa-hoo on Bob's life.

View attachment 931486
To help keep up with his ballooning PBR expenses Bob's gonna start moonlighting as an accountant. He know's what's up.

View attachment 931480
And follow that up with...
View attachment 931483
Which of course is a question Bob cannot/will not answer because he learned from his Magneto vid to not say "I should".

Bob Chipman, I'm fairly certain that you'll be reading this at some point. I'm around 80-85% sure you've got Boulder King levels of Google alerts based on the complete randos you tweet about that comment about you on Twitter who you do not follow and do not tag you. I wanna stop you and answer the following: Why do we go digging through you're history and chronicle every dumb thing you say as you've complained about before? Well, for one, it's funny because you're ridiculous, and, two, to show that you have not changed at all for the better part of a decade. You are a fascinating rolly-polly ball of perpetual hate who is WAY too confident in his "abilities". You're like a modern day greek tragedy, a brilliant warning to future generations about the dangers of doing the Dew and huffing farts.

All things considered I will keep this as my head cannon on this epic saga, tho Im intriged on why his caloric highness hasnt engaged on any actual capacity. I want that so bad.

 

[DK 699]

Bobby is Tom Bombadil, just as out-of-touch with the world and with the dress sense to match, except without a beautiful wife.

I only read the Hobbit, but wasn't Tom Bombadil a person that was happy and not full of hate?

 

[The Littlest Shitlord]

I only read the Hobbit, but wasn't Tom Bombadil a person that was happy and not full of hate?

Yes, he was. Singing all the time, helping out the hobbits when they were in need without thought of recompense, and he wouldn't even kill Old Man Willow despite the latter being an evil tree with a murderous hatred of all that goes on two legs. Tom Bob-adil, on the other hand, would set Old Man Willow on fire unless he swore his allegiance to the cult of Social Justice, and would just sneer as the hobbits (obsolete white males!) got eaten. Goldberry, the River King's Daughter, on the other hand, would be on guard at all times while bathing in the river, lest Bobadil try something inappropriate. Fortunately, Bobadil rarely ventures outside his filthy and dilapidated cottage, and his loud wheezing ensures that he can be heard from a safe distance. Also, where Tom Bombadil caused the plot to come to a dead stop for pages and pages of singing and poetry, Bobadil would do the same for a rant about Batman vs. Superman. His dress sense wouldn't be any better either. So some things would be basically unchanged.

 

[Arthur Morgan]

Lord of the Rings as told by Bob would be bad.

He'd just remake the movies with some changes after referencing the wikipedia article since he's never read the books. Aragorn would probably be played by Anne Hathaway. But still makes out with an elf chick.

I remember him and Nash tweeting at each other about how movies were superior to books without exception, did anyone screenshot that?