Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

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How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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Very noobish question, but does Bob live in NYC?

I get the idea he lives in Brooklyn, which is why he was very disappointed to learn Mario isn't from there.
He cares about Mario's origin because he is Mario's big brother and because the cartoon he likes said Mario was an American just like him.

I've posted his reaction from Brick by Brick like two times already, but well...

This section is called 'Things Fall Apart' said:
...and then came “Yoshi’s Island.”
The game that was initially advertised as “Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island” is today remembered as one of Miyamoto’s masterworks—a triumph on every level of game design. The history of its production is legend: taken aback by a Nintendo boss’s suggestion that he make the game’s appearance less “cartoony” and more like “Donkey Kong Country” (a spin-off series that used pre-rendered 3D images as sprites to try and match the graphical power of the emerging CD-based consoles), Miyamoto doubled-down and ordered that the games visuals be tweaked to resemble children’s crayon drawings. The result: a mega-selling, award-winning classic and a stern reminder to Nintendo not to question their Golden Boy.
While it was a game I loved then and adore today, at the time it was the Mario game that, well... that sort of “broke my brain” just a bit, and served as an early signal that my relationship with Mario and his world was fundamentally changing whether I wanted it to or not.
Like SMRPG, “Yoshi’s Island” offered the tantalizing prospect of a more narrative-oriented Mario adventure and the irresistible idea of finally setting up a Super Mario Bros continuity. The game was a prequel, set long before the events of even Donkey Kong (presumably), wherein the wizard caretaker of a still-infant Baby Bowser foresees the coming of the Mario Bros and schemes to kidnap them as babies (from The Stork, since this is a Mario game) to change history. Things go wrong, and Baby Mario winds up in the care of Yoshi (whoa! They’d actually met before!!??) on a quest to rescue his brother.
The idea of seeing Mario’s “origin story” had me playing through this game like a man possessed, even though by that point a teenaged social-life was leaving less and less time for gaming. I knew the end, I figured: Mario and Luigi would find their way back to Brooklyn. Along with seeing their Earth Realm digs visualized for the first time in a game, I was intrigued to see if any indications would be made about how and why they found their way back to Mushroom Kingdom years later. The possibilities!
And so, after a climactic battle against a towering, Godzilla-sized Bowser (another image I’d always wanted to see!), I settled in to watch as the games’ ending credits played out over an animation of The Stork flying Baby Mario and Luigi back home. Any moment now, I just knew, I’d see a 16-bit New York skyline come into view... but, instead, the closing text and final image tell a different story, as the Bros. are delivered to “...Where Mom and Dad live...”
“...THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM!”
...What?!
Mario and Luigi were born in the Mushroom Kingdom? That doesn’t make any sense! How’d they grow up in Brooklyn, then? Were they sent there at some point, like Superman, unaware of their real origins? And how were they Italian-Americans if they came from a world with no Italy and no America? Oooh! Maybe that’ll be the plot of the next game! Maybe...
I didn’t have a “breakdown” or anything. It’s not as though I was knocked into some kind of system-shock over this. But the dissonance stuck with me for a while. By now I had more important things to worry about in school and life to be completely consumed by this. College-prep classes, girls, sex, drugs and social-hierarchy were giving me my headaches—high school, after all. If I’d learned to keep my Nintendo worship (relatively) in check in the “Sega is cooler!” days, I could hold it back for the age of “everything but Playstation is for kids!”
Mario games had been “my thing,” my refuge from everything else when I needed them. Now that refuge was tinged—ever so slightly—with doubt. It wasn’t that “not from Brooklyn” changed anything fundamental, but it felt so... “cavalier.” That it wasn’t presented as a surprise drove home the reminder that most of what Generation NES considered “canon” for its games was often just hastily-composed faux-mythos for U.S. ad copy; and part of the story I’d been “devoted” to might’ve just been a narrative placeholder for Nintendo.
There’s a moment—vitally important in the development of any geek,
nerd or whatever else you want to call it—when it finally sinks in all the way
that the people creating whatever character or property you’ve let colonize
a part of your imagination just aren’t as “devoted” to it as you are – that, to
them, it’s a job. For me, this was it. How much sense did it make to be trying
to work out the bigger relationships between the characters and the broader
scope of their world? What was the point of keeping meticulous mental (and,
yes, also physical) lists and chronologies of Mario’s friends, enemies, worlds,
abilities, all that? What did it matter if I could point out, on a moment’s notice,
that Nokobons (exploding-shell Troopas) were only found in Sarasaland and
only in one game? Why should I put so much of myself into this… when
Mario’s masters couldn’t even keep his origins straight?
It all happened so gradually (and in the background of so many bigger
things) that it didn’t register until much later, but this was probably a turning
point for me as much as it was for Mario. Young adulthood now coming into
full effect. It was the best possible time to free up some mental space now
that school and life-choices were going to start counting for something. I had
college to get ready for, and a career path to start actually charting. (I’d long
since transitioned from filmmaking to game-designing as a dream trajectory.)
It was time to move on—if only a bit—from Mario and Nintendo…
…just not all at once.
Seriously. Dude was traumatized by that game.
 
I have a suspicion that Bob thinks he is supposed to like women, but hasn't really had the opportunity to find out if that's true. The fucking suits scream flamboyant, but also incompetent at flamboyance. And come on, the gushing over butch women for the last terminator? Can a person really be spiteful enough to claim that these ladies arouse a heterosexual man just to stick it to alt-right gamergating flyover trash? Could it be that he genuinely doesn't understand what makes a woman attractive?

Either way, he is obviously too unpleasant IRL to ever get to test the theory for us

Dude, you know if you're into women even if you never talk to any. It's not like at age 38 Bob wouldn't know what theoretically would get his weiner hard if he could ever find it in the folds of his gunt.

Let's not invent bizarre theories about Chipman's secret homosexuality. Most of the chicks he leers at are pretty conventionally attractive and Mackenzie Davis from Terminator isn't butch at all. In Bob's circle, if he had any inclination towards homosexuality, he would not only scream that from the rooftops, he would probably go full trans. He's desperate to be loved by liberals and leftists and if he could shriek about how he's LGBT in order to head off criticism of his ridiculous reactionary politics, he'd do that in a heartbeat.
 
Did Bob ever dox himself?

I think why lolcows can't cook is simple: children usually can't.
Screenshot_20191120-092421_Twitter.jpg

It's on his Twitter profile for everyone to see
 
The stupid suits I would say it is his attempt for a style, a identity or a quirk if you will. Bob isn't exactly a force of personality, I mean, he does have strong opinions and he can deliver the notion that his hollow observations are valuable insights for the casual viewer.

However, Bob lacks something very important, charisma. Even if you agree with Moviebob's views, he is someone who is very, very difficult to like, there is this very unpleasant vibe coming from this guy but it aint something quite easy to pinpoint if you are just watching a movie review, but comes across more clearly when he tries to act or make jokes, something is off with this man.

So, wearing colorful jackets or hawaiian shirts is his way to build a quirk, a fun persona for himself. And he always wanted that, hence all the videogame shirts, but now he puts a jacket overall.

He is Moviebob, the silly movie reviews but with deep and smart analysis. Except no one really buys it, and look, other people managed to make it withou a strong personality. Lindsay Ellis managed to sell the idea that she has something meaningfull to say about pop culture without a strong presence (she is really REALLY dull), and the normies bought it up no problem.

Unfortunatly for Bob he can't do neither, he he tries to be deep he gets bogged down with his own stupid notions of good and evil and political nonsense, he goes for the silly internet critc persona, he comes across as someone who goes around in a van offering candy to kids.

Blob has likely lived as a fatty for so long that there is no free testosterone in his body. Fat is a great sponge for testosterone. Blob very likely has no sex drive at all and even if his genitals were not vestigial in current year he would likely be unable to find a mate with which to use them or be able to achieve even a meager erection with which to copulate.
 
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He cares about Mario's origin because he is Mario's big brother and because the cartoon he likes said Mario was an American just like him.

I've posted his reaction from Brick by Brick like two times already, but well...

Seriously. Dude was traumatized by that game.

Bob's reaction to the origins of the Mario Bros. irresistibly reminds me of something...

anniewilkes.gif
 
God his writing is so laughably bad.

I and a reading public don't give a fuck about your relationship to mario, we give a fuck about the life experiences and how we can see ourselves in your memoir, and your memoir doesn't allow ANY of that.

He comes across as being so unbelievably conceited and yet also insecure in his memoir. Usually it's one or the other
 
Why is the Eastern USA such a breeding ground for lolcows?

(CWC from VA, Kengle from RI, Nick Bate from PA, Phil (ADF) from NJ)
High population density. The more people there are, the more likely lolcows are to crop up. For example, Lucas Werner is from WA, Jacob Sockness is from CA, and Russel Greer is in UT.
 
God his writing is so laughably bad.

I and a reading public don't give a fuck about your relationship to mario, we give a fuck about the life experiences and how we can see ourselves in your memoir, and your memoir doesn't allow ANY of that.

He comes across as being so unbelievably conceited and yet also insecure in his memoir. Usually it's one or the other
Is their a PDF of that crap cause i'm not giving bob my money
 
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God his writing is so laughably bad.

I and a reading public don't give a fuck about your relationship to mario, we give a fuck about the life experiences and how we can see ourselves in your memoir, and your memoir doesn't allow ANY of that.

He comes across as being so unbelievably conceited and yet also insecure in his memoir. Usually it's one or the other
The thing about Bob’s book is that it wasn’t even meant to be a memoir, it was meant to be about Mario 3 which Bob made about himself
 
Moviebob said:
College-prep classes, girls, sex, drugs and social-hierarchy were giving me my headaches—high school, after all.
Bob and girls? Sex? In high school? Pffffhahahah come on Bob, you need to make it SOMEWHAT believable.

Moviebob said:
“...THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM!”
...What?!
I wish somebody could do a "dramatic reading" of this rant, I'd laugh my ass off even harder than just reading it.
 
CinemeaRobert has acknowledged the troglodyte breeding grounds known as Kiwi Farms:
1574270658068.png

1574270767083.png

https://archive.ph/fgxNl
Context: Bob got dunked on.
 
"even though by that point a teenaged social-life was leaving less and less time for gaming."

"By now I had more important things to worry about in school and life to be completely consumed by this. College-prep classes, girls, sex, drugs and social-hierarchy were giving me my headaches—high school, after all. "
I don't know who he thought he was kidding with those lines.
 
CinemeaRobert has acknowledged the troglodyte breeding grounds known as Kiwi Farms:
View attachment 1017145
View attachment 1017150
https://archive.ph/fgxNl
Context: Bob got dunked on.

C'mon, fellow alt-right actual Nazi doxxers! We need to move the narrative from "Bob is a eugenicist" to "Bob creates weapons of mass destruction in his sink in the guise of marinading chicken."
 
College-prep classes, girls, sex, drugs and social-hierarchy were giving me my headaches—high school, after all.
Bob and girls? Sex? In high school? Pffffhahahah come on Bob, you need to make it SOMEWHAT believable.
Funny how with all the random, personal tangents he goes on in his book, skipping out on his grandmother's funeral, having to see a school counselor, getting fired from an all access cable show, this is the only line that gives any suggestion of a relationship of any sort with the opposite sex. No mention of a girlfriend, dates, or parties anywhere else. It's very much an odd line out in what otherwise is a depiction of a spergy loner with issues in school who lost all his friends to Sonic the Hedgehog.

Also drugs. Not pot or Bolivian cocaine, or anything specific. He was busy with vague, unspecified drugs.

Almost like Bob went, "Oh wait, I don't want people to think I'm a loser. What were the cool kids doing? Drugs, sex, and college-prep classes? Yeah, just throw in a sentence that I was doing all those things in high school. Perfect!"
 
Oh boy, he is getting at a stage 4 of a Moviebob meltdown.

Stage 1- Stupid tweet filled with his usual hot gas about some stupid shit around Trump, the nazis, pop culture. He gets some backlash and he tries to "own" the internet people with the condescending "friendo" remarks.

Stage 2- Backlash intensifies, the eugenics tweets start to get tossed around. Bob shuts up and waits for shit to go away, he starts tweeting about other stuff, and usually keeps the politics or his usual angry rants down a bit.

usually this is where it ends for the most part.

Stage 3- Backlash, memes, insults and other shit are still going on Bob's way, he starts getting pissy, now he is back on the defense and talks about the eugenics meme, how it is a old joke and the incels are boring him with old stuff he already said he was sorry to, missing the point that people don't give a shit about the eugenics or his dumbass hyperboles bu the fact he acts like a cunt.

Stage 4- Pity party. he already did this earlier today, he mentions shit about how he isn't that bad, and he is always getting bullied and how the alt-right forums are out to get him. This is the point where he is asking for the internet hugs, and he even re-tweets some of them:

bobshot.jpg


Stage 5- This one is rare, it's when things get so bad he has to make a huge blog post about how are things on his life, how bad they are are and how he is struggling to do better. Lot's of "woe is me" shit and he lets his insecurities fly of the handle. Pretty funny, but only happens when he really fucks up or a big e-celebrity on the left calls Bob out.
 
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