Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Jack Awful]

Robert loves advertising
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Epic games store lost a customer
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Globohomo will defeat DEATH ITSELF
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Products/media that really push the fact they're progressive in marketing usually suck.

Not because of the progressive content, but because the marketing department knows they have a stinker and are preemptively doing damage control. They try to make people buy their product out of political obligation because it's not good and no one would otherwise.

 

[Lensherr]

Globohomo will defeat DEATH ITSELF
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Remember Bob’s tweet about the Mayonnaise Ghouls stealing the future he “earned” where he talked about how if it wasn’t for them, he’d be uploading his immortal conscience into a robot body? Well the way he mentions overcoming death in this one reminds me of that, and lends credence to the theory that I and others have postulated on here that at least part of Bob’s desire for a Star Trek-style utopia stems from the belief that such a future will alleviate him of any health issues that he’s facing. Which begs the question, at what point did Bob’s Superior Future sperging really take off, because he was diagnosed with diabetes in 2015 IIRC and it wouldn’t surprise me if there was a connection there.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Putting aside Bob’s bad shit insane Care Bears pitch, why would any studio be interested in doing a Care Bears reboot anyway?

 

[Benisbro]

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No coherent thoughts, huh?


God damn I love the “Care-adise Lost” script, so quintissentially Robert. The big sperg orgasm of “epic marvel moments,” enlightened atheism, cringy self-inserts.
And of course, completely misunderstanding the pop culture he’s frankensteining togther. Being too exceptional and forward-thinking to get the fucking Care Bears

 

[Pokemonquistador2]

He does, but he made the argument that seeing a film because it's got a hot scene is no different than seeing a film for a good action scene.

It's a fair point, you know what they say about broken clocks. Films like Basic Instinct and American Pie show there's something to that. I'll defend Bob more and say that it's okay that Bob likes femdom Nazi movies.

Like most of Bob's beliefs, it falls apart when it goes from love to hate. I remember Bob called the woman in Transformers movies (I think it was Megan Fox) a talentless walking real doll. It's okay for Bob to fap to Black Swan, Sucker Punch, She Wolf of the SS, or whatever Mario fanfiction is on his hard drive because they push his buttons, but don't you dare get a boner watching Megan Fox lean over in tight jeans in Transformers or play Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 to watch giant tits flopping about or you're a bad person.


You inspired me to make my own.

Spoiler: My billion dollar Hot Wheels movie idea

Don't make a movie.

You know they will eventually, because every vintage kids franchise has to be milked in an age when every studio wants to bank on IPs with a built in audience. The point is, even souless cashgrabs like this will have more thought put into them by their studio writers, than Bob puts into his own creations. Even that awful Battleship movie, that slime molds could see was a horrible mistake just by looking at the trailer alone, had a better story than whatever Bob could have come up with. He'd probably would have had the Battleship fleet be filled with MAGA loving redneck soldiers who'd purposefully shoot down a saucer full of big-eyed alien immigrant children, and the surviving alien children would have to band together to take out the evil military fleet. The ending battle would occur onboard an aircraft carrier where Donald Trump was giving a big "Mission Accomplished" speech complete with banner that would be destroyed in slow motion by a band of aliens dressed like Antifa members. The aliens would win and use their technology to create a borderless world where men like Bob could teleport to chintzy, overpriced urban steakhouses located thousands of miles away from their Manhattanized, moon-wheat growing home towns.

 

[Things Better Forgotten]

All this talk of Hot Wheels: The Movie tickled something in the back of my brain. Didn't they try to cash in on a movie before? Or was that back in the Berenstein timeline?

Thankfully I wasn't losing my mind, they did try a (series!) of hotwheels movies and they were all trash.

Spoiler: The Trash

 

[A Random]

Spoilered because it is almost off topic, but I don't think it is.

Spoiler: Kung Fu robots do Milton

In the 1970s there was a Japanese TV series about a guy in a rubber suit pretending to be a robot who fought evil. This particular show was called Kikaider, and one of his archenemies was his evil counterpart, the Hakaider.

In 1994, a gritty reboot was made about the adventures of the Hakaider, with the hilarious title Mechanical Violator Hakaider which sounds like a Red Letter Media character.

It is an SF post-apocalypse superhero retelling of Paradise Lost., complete with God played like Michael Jackson. I shit you not.

I have no idea if the Hakaider in the original series is true to its personality in the film, but Honi soit qui mal y pense.

Spoiler

Hakaider is originally the brain of Kikaider's creator put in a robot by the badguy who wanted to make Kikaider unable to kill him, and later became the badguy's robot body for a sequel series. He was always edgy.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

All this talk of Hot Wheels: The Movie tickled something in the back of my brain. Didn't they try to cash in on a movie before? Or was that back in the Berenstein timeline?

Thankfully I wasn't losing my mind, they did try a (series!) of hotwheels movies and they were all trash.

Spoiler: The Trash

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To be fair, a racing movie set in a massive, heavily urbanized sci-fi world could be an interesting popcorn flick. The problem would be dissociating it from the Hot Wheels brand. Hot Wheels has brand recognition, but utilizing it would make the movie seem like more of a soulless cash grab and/or a 90 minute toy advertisement, instead of a fun summer flick.
Then again, I'm probably reading too much into this.
But what makes this funny to me is we're coming up with these wild movie ideas that are head and shoulders above Bob's. The reason they are is because we're not being pretentious. We're not pretending these silly movie ideas are anything other than that: silly. We don't try to make them seem like something more than what they are.
Robert Chipman, He of the Moving Pictures, on the other hand, takes his asinine ideas and actually presents them seriously, and if you don't get it it's because you're a small-brained, inbred mayonnaise wasteland ghoul. He tries to present his autistic vomit as something deep and insightful. To go back to the original idea that started it all: I agree, he likely hasn't read Paradise Lost. He references it because it makes him seem smarter than he really is, while any casual glance at the media he chooses for consooming tells the real story.
I think Bob has some self-awareness. I think he does know he's an uneducated, ignorant nobody, and is just presenting an illusion to convince people otherwise.
(Edited for clarity)

 

[Jack Awful]

I like that Bob's brain only perceives and creates things based around existing brands.

He's like Chris Chan.

 

[mandatorylurk]

It is getting harder to read Bob's tweets. Not in the SJW moonwheat sense, but how grammatically shit they are. It's a common thing for lefties to rattle on with buzzwords and make it seem like "more words means more evidence that I'm right," but when you mix that with Bob's autistic need to one up everyone and EMPHASIZE words I feel like I'm having a stroke looking at his tweets.

 

[Drifting Panzer]

I like that Bob's brain only perceives and creates things based around existing brands.

He's like Chris Chan.

Those two have a lot in common, atleast on a surface level. They both are incredibly narcissistic, insert themselves everywhere and have a fantasy where they are important (Chris is a goddess in a alternate dimension that will merge with ours and Bob will travel the galaxy with his brain downloaded in a robot body). Also, they are both afraid of exercise and eating healthy.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Apparently Bob has access to his old Big Picture episodes and he’s been reuploading them on his YouTube channel.

Also, Bob’s channel has dipped in subscribers.

 

[BScCollateral]

All this talk of Hot Wheels: The Movie tickled something in the back of my brain. Didn't they try to cash in on a movie before? Or was that back in the Berenstein timeline?

Thankfully I wasn't losing my mind, they did try a (series!) of hotwheels movies and they were all trash.

Spoiler: The Trash

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So, this suggests that Bob didn't bother to Google "Hot Wheels Movie" before publishing his idea. Way to go, Bob.

 

[The Real Fizzicist]

Not an archive, but Bob is generally too stupid to take these embarrassments down. (And if he does now, we'll know you're reading, chubs.)

Pitch Me, Mr. B: "CARE BEARS"

Well, then. We've finally reached the end point of this little experiment. With CAPTAIN PLANET , MEGA MAN (now to be a real thing, for bet...

moviebob.blogspot.com

EDIT: haha holy Christ it's been too long since I read this abomination:



Bob should literally be institutionalized.

I thought when Paradise Lost was mentioned, it was about Postal 2's dlc and wondered how Bob could bring himself to play Postal 2. I think that this would be better.

 

[LiquidKid]

Spoiler: Grumpy Bear

Are Bobby and Dobby acquainted? I don’t think I’ve encountered any posts of the two speaking to or about each other. Do we know which one is “above” the other?

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Are Bobby and Dobby acquainted? I don’t think I’ve encountered any posts of the two speaking to or about each other. Do we know which one is “above” the other?

They don't know about each other; if they did, it would be Dobby knowing Bobby, not the other way around. Bobby may suck up to (a lot of) people, but he publishes his own hot takes. Dobby is a follower, and will literally ask people what he should think of a certain topic.

 

[Imperial Citizen]

Robert loves advertising

Why does this remind of the scene from the Simpson when Lionel Hutz asks “Can you imagine a world without lawyers”?

 

[Doctor Placebo]

So, this suggests that Bob didn't bother to Google "Hot Wheels Movie" before publishing his idea. Way to go, Bob.

Well Robert did try and pitch a live action Inspector Gadget idea that was exactly the same as the live action Inspector Gadget movie they already made...

They don't know about each other; if they did, it would be Dobby knowing Bobby, not the other way around. Bobby may suck up to (a lot of) people, but he publishes his own hot takes. Dobby is a follower, and will literally ask people what he should think of a certain topic.

I thought Dobson has reblogged stuff from Bob before.

 

[FaramirG]

Are Bobby and Dobby acquainted? I don’t think I’ve encountered any posts of the two speaking to or about each other. Do we know which one is “above” the other?

Bob is clearly the top

 

[LiquidKid]

They don't know about each other; if they did, it would be Dobby knowing Bobby, not the other way around. Bobby may suck up to (a lot of) people, but he publishes his own hot takes. Dobby is a follower, and will literally ask people what he should think of a certain topic.

Shame. I love me a good cow crossover

Bob is clearly the top

That sounds more deadly than those stones from the Salem witch trial