Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?

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The Nothingness said:
Given his love of China and constant consumption of food, is Bob's spirit animal a giant panda? The only difference is that a panda has to eat large amounts of bamboo in order to get all the nutrients from the grass.
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At least he embodies the fact that Pandas are too retarded to reproduce.
 
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Even a man as "immunocompromised" as Bob would find benefit from going to a local park and walking. Hell, I'm a lazy piece of shit, but I've managed to walk or swim at least 5 times a week since the pandemic began. The world isn't falling apart. It's easy to drive out to a park and do some solitary exercise. Something tells me that Bob and his family are acting hysterical over this Coronavirus thing. You have Chris Chipman dragging himself and his wife to get tested when neither of them were showing symptoms, and you have Bob treating the air outside his home like it's active with virus. You know who has to worry about catching the virus? People with severely compromised immune systems or people who travel into crowded places where the virus is raging and where no one is taking precautions. The 'rona ain't going to get you because you decided to camp innawoods by yourself. This is just another sign that Bob is lazy and is using the virus as an excuse to get out of doing things he doesn't like to do.
 
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Pokemonquistador2 said:
Even a man as "immunocompromised" as Bob would find benefit from going to a local park and walking. Hell, I'm a lazy piece of shit, but I've managed to walk or swim at least 5 times a week since the pandemic began. The world isn't falling apart. It's easy to drive out to a park and do some solitary exercise. Something tells me that Bob and his family are acting hysterical over this Coronavirus thing. You have Chris Chipman dragging himself and his wife to get tested when neither of them were showing symptoms, and you have Bob treating the air outside his home like it's active with virus. You know who has to worry about catching the virus? People with severely compromised immune systems or people who travel into crowded places where the virus is raging and where no one is taking precautions. The 'rona ain't going to get you because you decided to camp innawoods by yourself. This is just another sign that Bob is lazy and is using the virus as an excuse to get out of doing things he doesn't like to do.
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What was Bob's excuse before the virus?
 
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Pokemonquistador2 said:
Even a man as "immunocompromised" as Bob would find benefit from going to a local park and walking. Hell, I'm a lazy piece of shit, but I've managed to walk or swim at least 5 times a week since the pandemic began. The world isn't falling apart. It's easy to drive out to a park and do some solitary exercise. Something tells me that Bob and his family are acting hysterical over this Coronavirus thing. You have Chris Chipman dragging himself and his wife to get tested when neither of them were showing symptoms, and you have Bob treating the air outside his home like it's active with virus. You know who has to worry about catching the virus? People with severely compromised immune systems or people who travel into crowded places where the virus is raging and where no one is taking precautions. The 'rona ain't going to get you because you decided to camp innawoods by yourself. This is just another sign that Bob is lazy and is using the virus as an excuse to get out of doing things he doesn't like to do.
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I hate giving Bob the benefit of the doubt, but it's possible that his local parks have been taken over by bums since the virus hit. Where I live, there are large gatherings of bums everywhere now, I assume because they are no longer being allowed in their usual hangouts such as libraries (closed) or public transportation (which now has signs up informing you that people who ride the bus without actually going anywhere will be kicked off).
 
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Pokemonquistador2 said:
Even a man as "immunocompromised" as Bob would find benefit from going to a local park and walking. Hell, I'm a lazy piece of shit, but I've managed to walk or swim at least 5 times a week since the pandemic began. The world isn't falling apart. It's easy to drive out to a park and do some solitary exercise. Something tells me that Bob and his family are acting hysterical over this Coronavirus thing. You have Chris Chipman dragging himself and his wife to get tested when neither of them were showing symptoms, and you have Bob treating the air outside his home like it's active with virus. You know who has to worry about catching the virus? People with severely compromised immune systems or people who travel into crowded places where the virus is raging and where no one is taking precautions. The 'rona ain't going to get you because you decided to camp innawoods by yourself. This is just another sign that Bob is lazy and is using the virus as an excuse to get out of doing things he doesn't like to do.
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The only people I know who got tested for the 'rona without showing symptoms were a cop on the job and a guy who was admitted to the hospital for a heart attack. Chris is a performative, preening shitbag, just like his brother with a soupcon more self-control.
 
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The Littlest Shitlord said:
I hate giving Bob the benefit of the doubt, but it's possible that his local parks have been taken over by bums since the virus hit. Where I live, there are large gatherings of bums everywhere now, I assume because they are no longer being allowed in their usual hangouts such as libraries (closed) or public transportation (which now has signs up informing you that people who ride the bus without actually going anywhere will be kicked off).
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Revere Beach is pretty big and a nice walk, wannabe Staten Islanders and whatever flavor of brown person is in season aside. If you don't want to deal with the hoi polloi, go to bed at a reasonable hour and get up early.

Or cry about it.
 
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Not sure if this has been posted before but WERE BREAKING THE CONDITIONING ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!
Movie Bob..jpg
 
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Mola Ram said:
View attachment 1456718

The mind quails at what might qualify for "diet portioned salads" (fucking lol) in the mind of a man who considers four cheeseburgers, half a dozen McNugget packs, a pile of French fries, and four sodas as "an average sized meal." I assume he's eating a whole tree.
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Curious, has he ever tweeted or posted anything about a girlfriend, a wife, or anything in the past? There are pictures of him "hanging out" with various no-name women "friends" of his like he's flattered just to be in the consensual company of a living, breathing woman, as well as videos featuring family members (e.x. a brother).

so if he's ever had a girlfriend or "relationship" I'd think he'd try to drop hints about it to combat the stereotypes about being a 30-40 year old man who's never had a woman in his life who wasn't an animated character.
 
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StraightShooter2 said:
Curious, has he ever tweeted or posted anything about a girlfriend, a wife, or anything in the past? There are pictures of him "hanging out" with various no-name women "friends" of his like he's flattered just to be in the consensual company of a living, breathing woman, as well as videos featuring family members (e.x. a brother).

so if he's ever had a girlfriend or "relationship" I'd think he'd try to drop hints about it to combat the stereotypes about being a 30-40 year old man who's never had a woman in his life who wasn't an animated character.
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Y'know, I'd almost respect Bob if he was deliberately choosing not to spread any information on Twitter about a girl (or fuck, even a guy) he was in a relationship with. Considering the shit he gets flung at him (for good reason, but still), making the conscious decision to protect a love interest from harassment would actually be a responsible thing to do. Hell, in this day and age when everybody posts every minute detail of their lives online, it would be a rare sight to see. Or not see, I guess.

But let's face it, Bobby is tremendously insecure about his entire existence, his smug holier-than-thou demeanor just a facade over the reality that he's an almost-40 never-was. If he were in a relationship that lasted longer than ten seconds, he would be tweeting about it constantly. But in years of following this thread, not once have I seen anyone post a screencap where Bob talks about being in a relationship currently; it's always these bizarre stories from years past like dating a lesbian stockbroker so people didn't think she was gay, the equivalent of "I have a girlfriend in Canada" stories. And lord knows I don't want to think about his nonsensical cookout metaphor again.

Bob will very likely die alone, stewing in his resentment over not getting his glorious superior sci-fi future he earned, goddammit.
 
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King Dead said:
Y'know, I'd almost respect Bob if he was deliberately choosing not to spread any information on Twitter about a girl (or fuck, even a guy) he was in a relationship with. Considering the shit he gets flung at him (for good reason, but still), making the conscious decision to protect a love interest from harassment would actually be a responsible thing to do. Hell, in this day and age when everybody posts every minute detail of their lives online, it would be a rare sight to see. Or not see, I guess.

But let's face it, Bobby is tremendously insecure about his entire existence, his smug holier-than-thou demeanor just a facade over the reality that he's an almost-40 never-was. If he were in a relationship that lasted longer than ten seconds, he would be tweeting about it constantly. But in years of following this thread, not once have I seen anyone post a screencap where Bob talks about being in a relationship currently; it's always these bizarre stories from years past like dating a lesbian stockbroker so people didn't think she was gay, the equivalent of "I have a girlfriend in Canada" stories. And lord knows I don't want to think about his nonsensical cookout metaphor again.

Bob will very likely die alone, stewing in his resentment over not getting his glorious superior sci-fi future he earned, goddammit.
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I’ve seen multiple women date fat, ugly guys and the difference is that they aren’t selfish, whiny, stupid assholes like Bob is. He would get laid more if he weren’t hateful.
 
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DarkEmoMario64 said:
Not sure if this has been posted before but WERE BREAKING THE CONDITIONING ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!
View attachment 1457273
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The perma-virgin wants to claim a multi-billionaire needs to put high-conspiracy level effort into having sex, naturally.
Blob just loves auditioning (LARPing more like) as the guy who writes the jokes for late night comedians, the guy that hides behind the scenes and never has to face the devastating rebuttal of "Uhhh, considering the source?"
 
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Dumb beast said:
I mean, there're 8 buns in there, it must be very healthy.
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I bet that Bob would also know that it depends on the type of bread you eat, since white bread is not very filling and refined flours have a lot of additives.
That's why i'm absolutely sure he knows to eat brown or black bread made with rye or corn meal, which are less refined flours that make the bread more filling and healthy. I'm sure that his superior intellect would know this basic difference.
 
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