Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Doctor Placebo]

It would almost be worth it to give Bob a couple of million dollars and send him to Hollywood. Bob's such a rube, he'd be picked clean by scam artists in no time. At no point would Bob ever come within shouting distance of getting an actual movie made. For one thing, he's so intellectually uncurious that he knows nothing about the actual process of getting a film made. It may as well be magic, as far as he's concerned. And despite his entire career and college degree specializing in media commentary, he shows zero interest in learning anything. Surface-level wikipedia is as deep as Bob's knowledge ever gets.

If somebody gave Bobby boy a million dollars, I have a suspicion he'd use it keep him in McDonald's, hookers, and a more luxurious basement apartment forever, along with spite-funding various SJW figures like a lot of his current Patrons are no doubt doing, instead of actually attempting to make anything meaningful with it. There may have been a time when he was delusional enough to give us The Disaster Artist with Bob Chipman, but I'm pretty sure the mockery of his book and the Game Overthinker finale has made him more cautious. Not really less delusional, but now he realizes that the obsolete ghouls don't appreciate his brilliance, so he only does his "X meets Y" pitches.

 

[Drag-on Knight 91873]

TBH, if George Lucas would be still in charge you highly likely would have a new job now. I like it, it could have been easily made into a script and movie, by some talented people who actually give a fuck about Star Wars.
But, otoh, when even game trailers are better than the last three movies combined.

Exactly. As Dave Filoni proved, making good Star Wars pitches are easy. It's just that LucasFilm management from top to bottom are even stupider than that.

 

[Koby_Fish]

The one below Chris is the bearded redhead, as he's the only one of these animals wearing a wedding band. I've zoom>enhanced>zoom>enhanced and still can't tell what the cufflink is.

Bob is the fat, hairless hand above Chris. Not entirely sure what his is either.

View attachment 1674320

The rainbow one probably is being worn by a literal gay man.

 

[Pointless Pedant]

I feel like a lot of film critics are like that, most just talk out their ass and say shit that they think is new or unique. That's one of the reasons why bob is so fucking insufferable to me, his critiques make no sense in the vein of movies, and he has a lot of personal nitpick that throw me off. That and his monologues is so balls to the wall awful that I gain a new eating disorder every time I listen.


I mean, shit, Bob already fancies himself above these guys due to his superior intellect and feminist charm, so he would probably never review these films. They're also not filled with pop culture references every five fucking minutes, so Blob would be bored and write it off as shit.

If only apocalypse now had Robert Downey Jr, maybe then he could stomach it.

Apocalypse Now would be one of the easier ones to do from a naive left wing perspective, since it could just be summarised as "military bad, capitalism bad, imperialism bad," though in reality it's obviously much thematically deeper than that, being an adaptation of Conrad's Heart of Darkness. Also he wouldn't mention that it was Johnson who really got the USA involved heavily in that mess to start with and Nixon signed the peace treaty.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Also he wouldn't mention that it was Johnson who really got the USA involved heavily in that mess to start with and Nixon signed the peace treaty.

Who was that tech expert that was responsible for using the model that was used for the draft again?

 

[Malagor the dank omen]

it's obviously much thematically deeper than that, being an adaptation of Conrad's Heart of Darkness

I would say to glean that truthfully from the movie you would have to read Conrad's book and see the true message: When put in the right situation and in the right mindset, what would be a great man can become the most horrible monster. But it's easier to just watch it and shit on the US military efforts in Vietnam.
It's like watching Gran Torino thinking it's a movie about an old white racist man that stops being racist instead of a movie about an old displeased man that manages to teach a young man to become a proper man and find joy in seeing him grow.

 

[LiquidKid]

It would almost be worth it to give Bob a couple of million dollars and send him to Hollywood. Bob's such a rube, he'd be picked clean by scam artists in no time. At no point would Bob ever come within shouting distance of getting an actual movie made. For one thing, he's so intellectually uncurious that he knows nothing about the actual process of getting a film made. It may as well be magic, as far as he's concerned. And despite his entire career and college degree specializing in media commentary, he shows zero interest in learning anything. Surface-level wikipedia is as deep as Bob's knowledge ever gets.

The only way theoretically rich me would give Bob millions of dollars is to see him suck the fat out and rearrange his face until he becomes one of those plastic surgery monstrosities which would actually be a benefit to his appearance. Seriously, he’s like a sculptor’s dream, so much material to work with

 

[An Sionnach Seang]

Can you imagine Bob discussing the directors you mentioned? He would hate them through his own political and ethical framework:

• Sergei Eisenstein sympathizes with Russian working class
• Andrei Tarkovsky is one of the most religious directors who ever lived
• Yasujiro Ozu makes movies that examines traditional Japanese values
• Werner Herzog deconstructs people filled with greed and ego
• Orson Welles speaks out against the corporate greed of Hollywood
• Francis Ford Coppola often makes movies about characters dealing with masculinity
• Sam Peckinpah's movies contain lots of killings against brown people

It would be morbidly entertaining to see Bob embarrass himself, but I've watched and read too many terrible video essays and articles to the point I'd rather people like him just stay away from them and stick to modern movies as to not pollute the discourse.

I'd like to see him try and wrap his head round Scanners or Videodrome, if only to chart the deepest depths his sheer ignorance of absolutely everything would plumb

 

[Flexo]

I'd like to see him try and wrap his head round Scanners or Videodrome, if only to chart the deepest depths his sheer ignorance of absolutely everything would plumb

Scanners is fun but it's a narrative mess, like if three tv episodes were stitched together at random.

 

[Jazz never died!]

I’m not a film buff by any means and I’ve only seen a couple of Marvel films (Iron Man and Guardians of the Galaxy). With each of those, I remember thinking, well, that was fun! But the masturbatory/life-and-death angle millions of men have on them never made sense to me. Love what you love and let no one shit on you for it, and also realize it’s not that fucking deep or serious.

Agreed not every movie has to be Citizen Kane.

 

[The Nothingness]

I know this is Snyder not Nolan but I can remember back in the day when I watched his reviews ( I admit I watched all of escapists content regularly) he was complaining about Batman v Superman portraying Batman working out and getting ripped. This means it's a movie for dudebros because only stupid dudebros workout. I think this was the exact moment I realized Bob is a fucking dumbass.

I'm sure Bob had no issues with Steve Rogers sparring with a punching bag in the first Avengers movie or running laps around Falcon at the start of The Winter Soldier.

 

[Jazz never died!]

I know this is Snyder not Nolan but I can remember back in the day when I watched his reviews ( I admit I watched all of escapists content regularly) he was complaining about Batman v Superman portraying Batman working out and getting ripped. This means it's a movie for dudebros because only stupid dudebros workout. I think this was the exact moment I realized Bob is a fucking dumbass.

Out of all the things to complain about that film be it the bad pacing, bad writing, and bad editing. He chooses to complain about the workout/training montage a trope in action movies since the eighties.

Apocalypse Now would be one of the easier ones to do from a naive left wing perspective, since it could just be summarised as "military bad, capitalism bad, imperialism bad," though in reality it's obviously much thematically deeper than that, being an adaptation of Conrad's Heart of Darkness. Also he wouldn't mention that it was Johnson who really got the USA involved heavily in that mess to start with and Nixon signed the peace treaty.

Apocalypse Now is one of the greatest films ever made and it can be summarized as a film showing soldiers going gradually insane and trying anything to cope with brutality of war. I doubt Bob will review this film as it contains 0 modern pop culture references and is a stand alone film with no super heroes and let alone any heroes since everyone is evil and goes or is already insane.
Now i'm no pop culture critic just some cunt who enjoys a shitshow.

 

[Vice Bold]

Out of all the things to complain about that film be it the bad pacing, bad writing, and bad editing. He chooses to complain about the workout/training montage a trope in action movies since the eighties.

Reminds me a lot of cinemasins, where instead of actually being critical, they'll fall back on personal nitpicks and pointing out movie tropes. It's a testament to how little they both understand/care about the art of critique or some shit. At least with cinemasins they have the defense of "We're supposed to be dumb and biased" but Moviebob takes himself like a professional, which screws with his credibility when he gives shit takes like this.

 

[Jazz never died!]

Reminds me a lot of cinemasins, where instead of actually being critical, they'll fall back on personal nitpicks and pointing out movie tropes. It's a testament to how little they both understand/care about the art of critique or some shit. At least with cinemasins they have the defense of "We're supposed to be dumb and biased" but Moviebob takes himself like a professional, which screws with his credibility when he gives shit takes like this.

Film criticism on youtube is hard you can take your time and explain shit but when it takes 11 hours to review a movie you lost your audience and your points are a bunch of nitpicks complaing about the wahmen in the film. Then there are those with skits shove them up your ass and review the movie. Then there are reviews like bob they go on and your points are nitpicks about shit no one cares about. The best reviews are 5 minuets long summarize the story without spoiling the film and gives example of what makes the movie good or bad. Writing,editing,cinematography,music,acting,ending.
Chris Stuckmann is the best imo.

 

[Vice Bold]

Film criticism on youtube is hard you can take your time and explain shit but when it takes 11 hours to review a movie you lost your audience and your points are a bunch of nitpicks complaing about the wahmen in the film. Then there are those with skits shove them up your ass and review the movie. Then there are reviews like bob they go on and your points are nitpicks about shit no one cares about. The best reviews are 5 minuets long summarize the story without spoiling the film and gives example of what makes the movie good or bad. Writing,editing,cinematography,music,acting,ending.
Chris Stuckmann is the best imo.

What about RedLetterMedia? I mean, Chris Stuckmann is the best, but RLM is literally just a couple guys talking about the film in a casual manner thats fun to listen to. You don't really need to go super hardcore and high class when it comes to movies, especially star wars and marvel movies, and thats really something Bob can't understand. He can't just go "Yeah movie was good, gonna go fuck a bitch and eat big Mac brb" cause to him people depend on his viewpoint like it's food, so he's gotta make the most intelligent review he can or else.

 

[Drag-on Knight 91873]

What about RedLetterMedia? I mean, Chris Stuckmann is the best, but RLM is literally just a couple guys talking about the film in a casual manner thats fun to listen to. You don't really need to go super hardcore and high class when it comes to movies, especially star wars and marvel movies, and thats really something Bob can't understand. He can't just go "Yeah movie was good, gonna go fuck a bitch and eat big Mac brb" cause to him people depend on his viewpoint like it's food, so he's gotta make the most intelligent review he can or else.

I'll agree RLM is the best out of all of them, although I think they missed a pretty big gaping hole in their Star Trek: Picard video. Namely, how the character of Picard is flanderized to such a degree that Patrick Stewart--who was knighted for that role--now sucks playing that character. An avid TNG watcher like Mike would remember various times Picard was stern as well as when he was compassionate. The utter depth of completely misunderstanding the character by everyone involve surpasses what happened in TLJ. In general, they do get the finer points of movie making and story structure down so well that Chris Stuckmann and Cosmonaut Variety Hour ape their Prequel criticisms.

 

[Flexo]

The question is do you want movie reviews or movie analysis?

GBF does a good job at both, explaining why he likes a film and his exploring series is solid gold.

SFDebris is also great at film analysis when he's into it.

Bob tries to half ass both and thus accomplishes neither. It's almost ironic he hasn't figured out to rip off someone like Jeremy Jahns - first releasing a spoiler free review video, then an in-depth analysis vid.

 

[Smithfield Ham]

I'll agree RLM is the best out of all of them, although I think they missed a pretty big gaping hole in their Star Trek: Picard video. Namely, how the character of Picard is flanderized to such a degree that Patrick Stewart--who was knighted for that role--now sucks playing that character. An avid TNG watcher like Mike would remember various times Picard was stern as well as when he was compassionate. The utter depth of completely misunderstanding the character by everyone involve surpasses what happened in TLJ. In general, they do get the finer points of movie making and story structure down so well that Chris Stuckmann and Cosmonaut Variety Hour ape their Prequel criticisms.

In the videos he made with Rich, Mike went into that a lot. The Plinkett video was about covering what Mike saw as the biggest flaws that he could cover in detail. I think the reason he didn't go into how OOC Picard was is because everyone was OOC and acted more like their actors than their characters.

It would almost be worth it to give Bob a couple of million dollars and send him to Hollywood. Bob's such a rube, he'd be picked clean by scam artists in no time. At no point would Bob ever come within shouting distance of getting an actual movie made. For one thing, he's so intellectually uncurious that he knows nothing about the actual process of getting a film made. It may as well be magic, as far as he's concerned. And despite his entire career and college degree specializing in media commentary, he shows zero interest in learning anything. Surface-level wikipedia is as deep as Bob's knowledge ever gets.

We've already seen what happens when someone with Bob's level of talent, skill and self-awareness makes a feature film. It was the Nostalgia Critic movies.

 

[Wulfpack Legend]

Looks like Bob’s Superior Future is happening while Trump is in the White House:

https://www.nokia.com/about-us/news/releases/2020/10/19/nokia-selected-by-nasa-to-build-first-ever-cellular-network-on-the-moon/?fbclid=IwAR0EmS2mCwCfV7upio9B5-kuWefv9lTrpeo74LY-pWM7WjrQBVVtHrDEM9A

 

[Positron]

Chris continues his futile quest for the Holy Grail: 150 Patreon subscribers.





If reviewers who use Apple or have Apple accounts are favored, it simply means none of the reviews on that site holds any value.


You've seen those "angry responses" yesterday. So let's take a look at what Chris considers "calm, respectful discourse":

Unsurprisingly most if not all of them are Bobby's cronies.

+ + + +
Apparently Trump has kidnapped Hunter Biden and is going to sell him to Eastern Europe as a male prostitute:

People actually made a stink over Bob's firing? I don't want to believe it but I know it is true.

Bobby's conversation with an Angel about Amy Barrett, Sarah Palin -- and J. K. Terf Rowling.

Note how intent Troon #34 is to steer the conversation towards Rowling.

Another Angel. Another rant against Palin:


White people is trash:


+ + + +
Zootopia 2

The number-one reason to do Zootopia 2 is that the original did very well in China. Bobby gloated over that before. But now that #BLM happened Z2 must be shitcanned.

Every Boxing, Muay Thai, MMX, etc movies is about FUCK YOU DAD!


Spank bank:


Having gotten the troons out of the way let's tune to a troon-free episode of Bobby's Angels. Fake Tits talks about thermal management:






White people are trash:


Damn I was determined to keep it troon-free, but Lukey just has to barge in to give us a nuclear take!

Yup. Hiring troons means you have to watch them masturbate in front of you. Ever wonder why no one hires Lukey?

(Lukey also rants about his sad life and diversity in gaming again, though I'm sure he'll do it again tomorrow.)