Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[John Andrews Stan]

Imagine thinking that because you’ve taken on a huge financial burden to remodel your house during an economically devastating pandemic, other people should divert cash from their living expenses to give you a luxuriously updated home. Imagine being upset when you “only” get $500 a month in free money pledges.

Seriously, there is something profoundly wrong with this family.

 

[The tired cat]

I just meant that he was more faithful than the movie, I think the comic book Constantine, especially the older one was probably a bit TOO edgy for NBC.

Well, that could def be the case. Plus I remember the older books touched on some political and homosexual stuff. Though, they did use one of the older stories for one of the episodes, which was cool.

 

[ConsoleWarVet]

Chris continues to be infuriating. He is doing this almost exactly the wrong way.

Suppose my nephew is selling chocolate bars for some school shit. Suppose I buy one. I don't do so because I particularly wanted chocolate at the time, or because I think two goddamned dollars is an acceptable price to pay for one. And I would not suggest the kid quit school to go into the candy selling business. Chris Chipman's entire "fanbase" is composed of indulgent uncles. He's not selling a product, he's providing a pretense to ask for donations. That shit has a limited reach and it gets old quick.

You make a PRODUCT. You build an AUDIENCE. And then, and only then, and sometimes not even then, the money will follow. Talk about your PODCAST on Twitter, not your Patreon. What are the topics this week? Guests? And why should they care? You're competing with an entire Internet who would love to give their opinions on retro shit and they will do it for free because the only payment they want is for someone to listen to them. Don't beg for money; ask your listeners to recommended it to their friends, or leave a review to boost you in the algorithm. Don't ask for more Patreons, all you want is more eyes and ears on you even if they're not giving you a dime.

In time (hopefully, if you've got the chops), people will grow to like you. They'll tune in out of habit. They'll actively want to donate and you can get away with more self-indulgent shit. When Twitch streamer Pat Boivin of Pat Stares At starts telling a story about shitty people at his shitty former job of grocery bagger, I am interested in what made him the way he is. Because I am already invested in the fat, funny, ginger-beard man. Nobody cares what "made the Chippa" because he's never given them reason to care. Even his Patreons don't care. It's all pity-dollars. His Patreons certainly aren't excited at the prospect of a 1/150 chance to Win. A. DVD.

Even if the market of "guy who talks about nerd shit" was not completely glutted at this point, he is going about this in the most ass-backwards, cart before horse manner possible. Failure is the only option.

Excellent points on why he's a failure, if I may add:

His marketing of his podcast empire is dogshit. Why does this man have FIVE separate podcasts? Cut the blockbuster one it's pointless. Get rid of the one with his wife "raising geeks" unless it's patron-only now they haven't made an episode in two years. The Chipman Bros tangent one is not a good idea given Bob's social standing. This made the chippa has zero target audience, get rid of it. Stop uploading random movie reviews to your spotify.

That leaves us with Shooting the Shit. He had Graham McNeil, a fairly well known 40k author, on four days ago. Why has he not been plugging the shit out of that? That's a great guest for how small his audience is. The actual podcast is completely unlistenable for me though, Chris's levels are peaking all over the place and it sounds like he's using a $15 dollar usb mic from 2010.

So how can he fix this mess?

Spoiler: Podcast sperging

1) Get a real mic and learn about audio levels for the love of God. Do the tiniest amount of research pic up a used mic and a pop filter for cheap, and test your audio before ruining an entire hour and a half of conversation.

2) Actually make real episode titles, they all have either underscores between every word or auto-generated dates at the end of them.

3) Drop the theme songs. For whatever reason he has two that he alternates and they are both abysmal.

4) Set a real upload schedule. He put out five episodes of shooting the shit this month, eleven episodes of it last month (for a total of 17 episodes between talkbuster and his movie reviews) - that's way too much, then just four episodes in September and August. Just stick to four and put them up like every Tuesday or something.

5) Actually promote the podcast instead of just linking to patreon and sticking out your hand for money like a spoiled child. Tweet out links to the new episodes on spotify, apple music, etc and don't mention money in any capacity.

None of these actually help the content issue, but maybe if he would do the absolute minimum like decent audio and renaming his files some people would actually give him a chance.

But I'd rather he just keeps pouting and begging for change, it's much funnier. It all feels like a midlife crisis, but since he can't fuck a 22 year old bartender or afford a vintage muscle car he's just trying to become Mark Maron.

 

[GarthVader]

Imagine thinking that because you’ve taken on a huge financial burden to remodel your house during an economically devastating pandemic, other people should divert cash from their living expenses to give you a luxuriously updated home. Imagine being upset when you “only” get $500 a month in free money pledges.

Seriously, there is something profoundly wrong with this family.

To be fair, even after the remodel, that house will never be "luxurious". You cant polish a turd.

 

[Marissa Moira]

Lmaooo

View attachment 1757228

He then shared this picture of his wife’s incontinence pads on the back of the toilet that’s less than two feet from the sink and sprays the family’s toothbrushes with poop water several times a day:

View attachment 1757229
Also WTF with letting your kids sit on a filthy toilet seat then climb into bed in feces-covered PJs. This clan is so fucking gross.

College dorm bathrooms are bigger than that.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

To be fair, even after the remodel, that house will never be "luxurious". You cant polish a turd.

I mean luxurious more in the sense that remodeling a home at this time is itself a luxury. And he’s PISSED people aren’t financing it for him instead of making their own ends meet.

 

[Captain Marvelous]

As if people laughed at him simply for reviewing MCU. It isn't as though he said stupid things like comparing MCU to Sophocles and Shakespeare

Jesus, is this what Bob actually believes? I mean, I liked Endgame (it had a couple of stupid moments but was a good finale to the MCU), but it's nowhere near the same level as works like Richard III or Macbeth.

 

[Chad Holdenford]

Jesus, is this what Bob actually believes? I mean, I liked Endgame (it had a couple of stupid moments but was a good finale to the MCU), but it's nowhere near the same level as works like Richard III or Macbeth.

You bet it is. You can also be assured he most likely never read higher literature beyond Sparknotes and Wikipedia plot summaries, just as he does with statistics and historical facts.

 

[Doctor Placebo]

That leaves us with Shooting the Shit. He had Graham McNeil, a fairly well known 40k author, on four days ago. Why has he not been plugging the shit out of that?

How the fuck did Chris Chipman get Graham McNeil on his show? Will he go on literally any podcast that asks?

 

[Quixotic Man]

How the fuck did Chris Chipman get Graham McNeil on his show? Will he go on literally any podcast that asks?

Its amazing how easy it is to get people to do stuff if you pay them.

 

[ConsoleWarVet]

How the fuck did Chris Chipman get Graham McNeil on his show? Will he go on literally any podcast that asks?

Maybe Bob was owed a favor by a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy and cashed in on it as an early Christmas gift for the chippa.

Its amazing how easy it is to get people to do stuff if you pay them.

Though this seems more likely. Chris did say he spends lots of money on his podcasts and it sure as fuck isn't on equipment.

Edit: I hope Graham listened to Chris's most recent episode after being asked to be on heard a ska theme song and prison phone audio quality, and just sighed and took some time to reflect on everything that brought him to this point.

 

[Doctor Placebo]

Maybe Bob was owed a favor who knew a guy who knew a guy and cashed in on it as an early Christmas gift for the chippa.

Though this seems more likely. Chris did say he spends lots of money on his podcasts and it sure as fuck isn't on equipment.

If he's putting all or most of his Patreon money right back into his podcasts, that adds another humorously pathetic layer to his relentless e-begging. And a bit of karmic sanity back into the world.

 

[Bolo]

Dude, Robert, if you are racking in the cash, give some to your brother will ya, seems like he is in need.

Also, Robert always has to win! but I don't know if this the flex he means to do.

Even if we believe that he has triple his earnings (which I don't), then Robert is a absolute dumbass for working for so long for the Escapist for pennies, because even if he can spam more videos, a lot of them don't even break the 20k, and keeping the 100% of his ad revenue means shit if the ads on his page don't pay for crap.

The escapist channel has over a million subs, while Robert's has 135k, which of one you think has better paid ads? So whatever Robert is making on ads, it can't be much, because the views Robert get in a month, even channels on decline, like game grumps, can make it with a single video.

His patreon took a huge boost, and it does show that Robert has a loyal following, but it isn't the triple, not even double of what he was getting before.

So either Robert is flat out lying in the same breath he claims to have friends or he was working essentially for free for the Escapist, and even so, the Escapist didn't want to keep him around.

So, which one is more sad?

 

[The Littlest Shitlord]

View attachment 1758293

Dude, Robert, if you are racking in the cash, give some to your brother will ya, seems like he is in need.

Also, Robert always has to win! but I don't know if this the flex he means to do.

Even if we believe that he has triple his earnings (which I don't), then Robert is a absolute dumbass for working for so long for the Escapist for pennies, because even if he can spam more videos, a lot of them don't even break the 20k, and keeping the 100% of his ad revenue means shit if the ads on his page don't pay for crap.

The escapist channel has over a million subs, while Robert's has 135k, which of one you think has better paid ads? So whatever Robert is making on ads, it can't be much, because the views Robert get in a month, even channels on decline, like game grumps, can make it with a single video.

His patreon took a huge boost, and it does show that Robert has a loyal following, but it isn't the triple, not even double of what he was getting before.

So either Robert is flat out lying in the same breath he claims to have friends or he was working essentially for free for the Escapist, and even so, the Escapist didn't want to keep him around.

So, which one is more sad?

You have to admit, the idea that Bob financially shot himself in the foot for years by keeping at a bad-paying job out of sheer asshurt over GamerGate getting him fired the first time is pretty hilarious, and completely in-character for Bob. It's also completely in-character for SJW trash like Russ Pitts to financially screw Bob over for his own gain while describing it as "righting a wrong".

 

[AnOminous]

Even if the market of "guy who talks about nerd shit" was not completely glutted at this point, he is going about this in the most ass-backwards, cart before horse manner possible. Failure is the only option.

To think that Chris had so far managed to pass as normal just by not being a Twitter degenerate and tarding out nonstop. And now he may be an even bigger lolcow than Blob, who at least gets paid for this shit.

 

[graywolf88]

LOL. "I'm from Boston, we fight." No you don't, Bob, you fold faster than a 2 dollar whore practicing origami.

Bob wouldn't last 2 seconds in a fight with an Irishman from Southie.

 

[Flexo]

Well, sort of kind off. Like the Reeves version it's still not close enough to the comics, since in the comics Constantine was an A-grade douchebag who'd usually use anyone he could just so he'd get away scot-free. Here, they try to play him as the type who does want redemption and get into Heaven to clean away from his sins, while in the comic he hated both Angels and Demons, considering Heaven full of pompous wankers.

I just meant that he was more faithful than the movie, I think the comic book Constantine, especially the older one was probably a bit TOO edgy for NBC.

Yeah. Comic book fans should realize that Constantine is essentially unadaptable. If they make him true to character, there's no way he'll sell enough to be marketable, so the adaption will have almost no magic in it (because you can't afford the VFX). And if they put in magic and the other fun stuff into Constantine, then they're going to have to sand his rough edges down to get it to sell wider and make the money back.

Bob wouldn't last 2 seconds in a fight with an Irishman from Southie.

Bob wouldn't last 2 seconds in a fight with a girl scout defending her cookies from him.

 

[Drag-on Knight 91873]

Bob wouldn't last 2 seconds in a fight with a girl scout defending her cookies from him.

For good reason. Those girl scouts are tough customers.

 

[Uzumaki]

Cheap, I think about 24 Oz cans that cost a dollar, find them in bodegas across the nation
View attachment 1757713
I'm somewhat partial to the green tea with honey

Arizona Ice Tea green tea with honey is the best value in a canned drink in the western world.

They're $1 here in Canada too so we get them even cheaper when you factor in the exchange rate.

I just meant that he was more faithful than the movie, I think the comic book Constantine, especially the older one was probably a bit TOO edgy for NBC

I haven't watched it but I'm led to understand there's a Preacher TV show. Preacher is basically the same thing as early Hellblazer, down to being written by Garth Ennis.

Plus you could just adapt American Gothic or do an actually faithful version of Dangerous Habits. Constantine is a jerk but he's not so far beyond the pale that he'd be out of place on TV in this day and age.

 

[Doctor Placebo]

View attachment 1758293

Dude, Robert, if you are racking in the cash, give some to your brother will ya, seems like he is in need.

Also, Robert always has to win! but I don't know if this the flex he means to do.

Even if we believe that he has triple his earnings (which I don't), then Robert is a absolute dumbass for working for so long for the Escapist for pennies, because even if he can spam more videos, a lot of them don't even break the 20k, and keeping the 100% of his ad revenue means shit if the ads on his page don't pay for crap.

The escapist channel has over a million subs, while Robert's has 135k, which of one you think has better paid ads? So whatever Robert is making on ads, it can't be much, because the views Robert get in a month, even channels on decline, like game grumps, can make it with a single video.

His patreon took a huge boost, and it does show that Robert has a loyal following, but it isn't the triple, not even double of what he was getting before.

So either Robert is flat out lying in the same breath he claims to have friends or he was working essentially for free for the Escapist, and even so, the Escapist didn't want to keep him around.

So, which one is more sad?

So if we take Robert at face value (and I'm not sure I would take Mr. I Bench 300 at face value for anything) that means those of us who were joking about him paying The Escapist to work there were actually right on. They were taking his ad revenue from the videos he made and paying him either nothing or next to nothing. And if his comment about his income tripling afterwards is anything close to accurate (doubtful), their cut was HUGE, at least as a percentage. Way more than his own cut. That would explain a lot about why they took so long to fire him despite him being a PR nightmare.


Anyone care to look at his video output from last month to this month and see if he's actually producing three times the videos or getting three times the views?