Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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We're a couple of weeks away from the release of Zack Snyder's Justice League and I wonder if he's going to devote as much time to trashing it as he did for Batman v Superman, which if you recall was three videos totalling four hours - an hour longer than the Ultimate Edition.

Or will he be distracted by consooming the next Marvel product Falcon and the Winter Soldier.
 
We're a couple of weeks away from the release of Zack Snyder's Justice League and I wonder if he's going to devote as much time to trashing it as he did for Batman v Superman, which if you recall was three videos totalling four hours - an hour longer than the Ultimate Edition.

Or will he be distracted by consooming the next Marvel product Falcon and the Winter Soldier.
Nah, fatso wont miss a chance to dunk on the Snyder cut, he'll squeel like a fat piggy about Nazis and dudebros who clearly are dumb not getting the brilliance of MCU, but fall fo Snyders stuff
 
The Ship of Theseus is Basic Bitch Pop Culture Philosophy 101.
Yet Bobby did not cockadoodledoo about it until it was pointed out by Google trend.

In the show, it's revealed that the Vision Wanda is married to is actually an illusion made flesh and the real Vision's body never left SWORD, but using Wanda's magic, they're able to bring the original Vision back, just reprogrammed without the memories so it's a living weapon.
It sounds more like a mind-body dualism conundrum than Ship of Theseus. Is the digital simulation of a person more real than his amnesic body? At any rate I'm surprised Ship of Theseus is still a problem in the postmodern age: shouldn't we all agree, "This is The Ship of Theseus just because I say so!"?

Lynn is a "high crime area"?!

Bob, likely having only a minimally passing familiarity with Animal Farm (as with 1984), would probably unironically bleat, "Four legs good, two legs baaaaaaaaaad" until his SJW swine-senpais' decree changes to, "Four legs good, two legs beeeetter", and bleat that without a shred of irony.
"Two legs are four legs; four legs are two legs. Some sheep are born with 5 legs so leg numbers are a spectrum and are more complex than you think".

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Gimme gimme!!!
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Chris is emulating Bobby in his "This Makes The Chippa" show, with ugly-ass "reaction" drawings:
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Note he's added more hair over his dome, but didn't shop away the sebaceous cyst on his nose.

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If any artistically-inclined Kiwi wants to improve on them, please don't hesitate!
 
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What continually astounds me about CinemaBert is the staggeringly low engagement he seems to get on all of his hot takes.

Despite having 30k followers and tweeting almost non-stop every single day, and despite constantly spewing the kind of shit that would make Josef Mengele have a 'bruh' moment, every time I look up one of his tweets expecting to see him either getting his ass lit up or patted there are rarely more than half a dozen replies.

How much of a fat failure do you have to be that you can't even reliably get ratioed properly. The funniest part is the MovieBob Posting His Ls account seems to average way better engagement with only a 1/5th the follower count.
 
I shouldn't be surprised that Bob either doesn't know, believe, or care how many stimulus bills got scrapped because they were filled with riders that would funnel money into bullshit left wing pet projects that had nothing to do with the lockdowns or pandemic. You're going to let us use this crisis to completely reshape the nation's policies using back door political mechanisms, and you're gonna like it.

Fuck, I'm MOTI. Not a huge fan of the Harkonnen Oompa-Loompa but blaming him for no stimulus money while looking away as Nancy Pelosi fiddles with her necromantic phylactery was complete and utter bullshit and even now, lefties make the pikachu face and change the topic if you bring up how we torpedoed like five different bills because they had shit like college grants for BIPoC and women in them.
 
We're a couple of weeks away from the release of Zack Snyder's Justice League and I wonder if he's going to devote as much time to trashing it as he did for Batman v Superman, which if you recall was three videos totalling four hours - an hour longer than the Ultimate Edition.

Or will he be distracted by consooming the next Marvel product Falcon and the Winter Soldier.
It was announced today that Geeks and Gamers and few other non-SJW YouTube channels are doing a charity stream with Zach Snyder to raise funds for suicide prevention the night before the Snyder Cut's release. I get the feeling that Bob and his ilk will do everything they can to derail that event, so he may have even more venom reserved for Snyder on Twitter in the coming weeks.
What continually astounds me about CinemaBert is the staggeringly low engagement he seems to get on all of his hot takes.

Despite having 30k followers and tweeting almost non-stop every single day, and despite constantly spewing the kind of shit that would make Josef Mengele have a 'bruh' moment, every time I look up one of his tweets expecting to see him either getting his ass lit up or patted there are rarely more than half a dozen replies.

How much of a fat failure do you have to be that you can't even reliably get ratioed properly. The funniest part is the MovieBob Posting His Ls account seems to average way better engagement with only a 1/5th the follower count.
He probably gained lots of followers whenever one of his vids went somewhat big. They then just lose interest in him or forget to even care. I also suspect there are bots at work, the guy does have a Patreon raking in some decent scratch and he certainly isn't spending it on improving himself or his living conditions.
Nah, fatso wont miss a chance to dunk on the Snyder cut, he'll squeel like a fat piggy about Nazis and dudebros who clearly are dumb not getting the brilliance of MCU, but fall fo Snyders stuff
If this cut is actually any good (it can't possibly be any worse than Whedon's version) then he'll just exclusively reeeee about the fan movement that agitated for its release for a good long while. I'm sure we'll see him employ the verbiage he uses for MAGA and Red State elements against DC fanboys, calling them "inferior" or "outdated" for not slobbering over whatever Marvel flavor of the week is out at the moment.
 
It was announced today that Geeks and Gamers and few other non-SJW YouTube channels are doing a charity stream with Zach Snyder to raise funds for suicide prevention the night before the Snyder Cut's release. I get the feeling that Bob and his ilk will do everything they can to derail that event, so he may have even more venom reserved for Snyder on Twitter in the coming weeks.
Yeah, I could see people like Moviebob etc. brigading the charities into not accepting their donations by telling them it's coming from the "alt-right" or whichever label they are using that day.
 
Our grandfathers fought for US interests but they were not imperialist for godsake!
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It is pointless to talk to Bobby about nuance; he thinks WWII was just like Captain America,

Getting angry with Andy Ngo, a POC who doesn't matter.
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If you are against Antifa, you are with the skinheads. Nuance.

More about impersonating a cop:
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Most people prefer to live in NY or Cali. Fact.
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About the "unnecessary" people who burn masks:
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And somehow it was God who ordered the mask-burning, and the mistaken notion that boys are boys and girls are girls:
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Children of conservative parents are literally the least important problem. And Bobby thinks he can end 98% of homelessness:
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Do you know why we shouldn't help mayo kids? BECAUSE THESE KIDS EVEN USE THE N-WORD ON FORTNITE CHAT!!!!!!
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Bobby seems to be eyeing Senator Kyrsten Sinema a lot:
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Antigay propaganda by some "Republican insect"
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Insects can mistaken orchids as their mate, so what's so surprising with them mistaking the sex of conspecifics? Being able to dupe a male competitor into wasting his limited sperm might even turn out to be advantageous evolutionarily. (The article is from 2013; I have no idea why Bobby brings it up now)

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I don't know what "play" means in this context; just contemplating it makes my stomach churn.

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Bobby has believed "some people don't deserve to live" ever since he was a child.
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Why did he (and apparently he alone) had to endure so much betrayal, pain, and horror? And why didn't he write about them in Brick By Brick?

Chu-chu and Bobby part ways on the subject of space colonization. Strangely, Bobby refrains from calling Chu obsolete:
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"We should spend trillions of dollars for a literal pie in the sky because it is cool!" Nuances, ladies and gents!

Dr. Seuss, historical racist, would have despised Tucker Carlson:
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Wanda finale:
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You know, the way they put it, this Wanda sure sounds a bit like the Christian God.

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Bobby explains Disney's business strategy. It is so jejune that I think it counts as a case of mansplaining.
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But you are belaboring the point Bobby. Just say, "Disney earns the most from theme parks so they are getting all their orifices raped right now."

Speedy Gonzalez:
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Bobby's Angels:
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You know there's going to be another MCU series starting in two weeks, right? Just want to give anyone reading this a heads up.
There is only so much MCU can do unless they shit out Black Widow. Speaking of, I hope Black Widow will get cinema release in obsolete states like Texas and Florida, while People That Matter who live in States That Matter, like Massachusetts, can enjoy it using the futuristic convenience known as Disney+.
 
For a guy who keeps typing "NATRUAL SELECTION" over and over - This nigga does remember he has the beetus, right?

More importantly, he has an increasingly small window in which to reproduce, and given current trend it seems doubtful he ever will.

Jesus fucking Christ, is there not one thing about Chris's house that isn't rundown and dilapidated? Those pots look like they've been to hell and back.

Those pots look like they came out of a meth lab. I wouldn't use them to bail a boat, much less prepare food.
 
Our grandfathers fought for US interests but they were not imperialist for godsake!
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It is pointless to talk to Bobby about nuance; he thinks WWII was just like Captain America,

Getting angry with Andy Ngo, a POC who doesn't matter.
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1) Powerlevel: my great-great uncle was with the Golden Lions, the 106th, at the Bulge. Earned a Bronze Star and managed to avoid capture unlike many in his division. I'm sure that Bob would say I besmirch his efforts for voting for Trump therefore making me a Nazi or some such bullshit. His grandfathers do sound badass, though. Too bad he's their heir.

2) Speaking of false Nazi accusations. This is where we see how restrictive identity politics can be. Andy Ngo is of Vietnamese descent and out and proud gay. Standing against Antifa, though, makes him in league with skinheads and we see Bob dutifully parroting that line. It all proves that en vogue minorities must fall into line or be branded as heretics.

I got to say Bob going full internet tough guy is a pleasant surprise.

Yeah he's always lied about his abilities in the past like claiming he can bench 300lbs or claiming to be a survival expert but he's just going all in on the bullshit now.
He doesn't have a leash anymore (thanks, Escapist) and his crippling addiction to Twitter only draws his mind away from reality. In yet another manner, he's drawing parallels to Chris-Chan. He really does think he's amazing and strong in the same way Chris thought he could lift 50 pound soda boxes.
 
Why would he advertise the fact he wastes money on store bought "artisanal" pasta, can't cook his own marinara and believes putting his ancient teflon pots in the dishwasher will make the PFOAs all the more delicious?
🎶 A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean?
Silence and friends unseen!
A few brains as well: that is autism!
And that makes us seem special to you!
🎶
Antifa have never shown any actual courage; just watch them scream when a cop touches them. Compare this to the troops on D-Day or the Civil Rights Movement and the difference is clear.

(as an aside, some of my family were WWII veterans. Unlike Blob, I don't claim to speak for every veteran when I talk politics.)
If you are against Antifa, you are with the skinheads. Nuance.
In that case, I'm starting the Anti-Puppy Kicking Movement.

The purpose of the Anti-Puppy Kicking Movement is to create a society where I'm the God-Emperor of Mankind. Don't like it? You must want to kick puppies, bigot!
And somehow it was God who ordered the mask-burning, and the mistaken notion that boys are boys and girls are girls:
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What does Blobby's euphoric atheism have to do with Dollar Tree or anti-mask protests, for that matter?
Do you know why we shouldn't help mayo kids? BECAUSE THESE KIDS EVEN USE THE N-WORD ON FORTNITE CHAT!!!!!!
I think that saying ”nigger” just to be edgy is cringe. At times like this, however, I can understand why people do it.
Watching Blob, a neolib, try and argue with Bhaskar Sunkara, a DSA member and the editor of Jacobin, about what socialism is will never not be funny.
You know, the way they put it, this Wanda sure sounds a bit like the Christian God.
For these people, consooming is a religion.
 
Speedy Gonzalez:
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(Mexican Kiwi btw)

Seemingly?!

SEEMINGLY?!

Bitch, Mexicans love Speedy. That's a pure fact. If you were to come down to Mexico and ask about it. 9 times out of 10 you'll find people that heard of him and love the guy. That's because the character represents how fun, and even light-hearted we can be, We never gave a shit about stereotypes. Only that the character was fun, and enjoyable to watch since the LT are very much well known, and quite beloved.

Holy shit, I can't believe Bob actually comes out as the sane one in this. Damn.
 
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