Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[jspit2.0]

I don't know. I'd be unsurprised if he kicks the bucket tomorrow, but I'd also be unsurprised if he lives until he's 80.

All that hate could power him over his poor habits.

Well, he's morbidly obese, has very poor eating and sleeping habits, but more importantly I think the level hatred and fury he expresses on Twitter is a sign that he has high levels of self induced stress, and his recent firings have probably added to stress levels. That can lead to increases in blood pressure, and in someone like Bob who probably has clogged arteries it can ultimately lead to a heart attack.

Maybe so, but I can say that I've seen people in my extended family who are fatter than Blob, drink more and smoke live past 80 so it's not unachievable for him.

As for him offing himself, you know as well as I do that we'll be blamed if that happens.

That's the most bizarre thing. Why would we won't him to off himself. Man's the best entertainment this side of Springer.

 

[Red Hood]

"Dated above my station"
The fuck? Is Bob trying to say that he dated a really rich/celeb/important ("My daddy's a Congressman/Senator/Chairman of OPEC")/way way way way WAY the fuck out of his league girl?

How much do you want to bet it was the time he spent as some lesbun's beard?

Bob dating ANYONE is dating above his angry virgin station. And is just as fictional as Princess Peach.

Well, bear with me here, but I think a story revolving around Superman being Clark Kent could work. Let's say, for some reason, Clark is on the ropes at work- maybe from too much zipping off as Superman and not enough actual journalism. He's given one last chance to pull his act together, or he loses the job: he needs to give live coverage of some nefarious act going on (terrorism, Lex being his usual rotten self, etc.)- an act he can easily end as Superman, but he's going to be on-camera for the duration of the crisis, and cannot simultaneously end the act and complete his job at the same time. We'd have to ignore that Superman has friends he can call in to help him solve this problem, but it'd be an interesting take.

There's also a bit from the Return of Superman arc where Clark and Superman appear on screen at the same time thanks to Matrix/Supergirl shapeshifting to appear as Clark. Superman has a half dozen shapeshifting friends that could help with that.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

And is just as fictional as Princess Peach.

His stories about dating remind me of chavvy Year 7's declaring that they totally fucked 30 people.

 

[ChampFantana]

Maybe so, but I can say that I've seen people in my extended family who are fatter than Blob, drink more and smoke live past 80 so it's not unachievable for him.

As for him offing himself, you know as well as I do that we'll be blamed if that happens.

So? Who cares what Bobert's retarded orbiters think?

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

So? Who cares what Bobert's retarded orbiters think?

I don't want to have to deal with a load of anti-KF sperging.

On the other hand, it is free milk.

 

[ChampFantana]

I don't want to have to deal with a load of anti-KF sperging.

On the other hand, it is free milk.

ENTERTAINING milk at that. You'd hear the tard screeching from Bobert's Bozos on Jupiter's moons.

 

[Meriasek]

If MAGAs aren't worth "rehabilitating", I wanna know what Mobiebob's ideal final solution for them.

>INB4 euthanasia

Basically, cramming them powerless into ghettos in the megacities, or alternatively letting them stay out in the renaturalizing wilderness outside the megacities where they're forbidden to forage for food (only the natives and brown people are allowed to do that), and will be hunted down by robodogs if they try.
So basically, letting them die either way without having to admit that he wants them killed. Just... Dead.

 

[KingofNothing]

Is he actually proposing that someone should make a Superman story that focuses on Clark Kent as a journalist? I don't think you could make a more boring idea if you tried. Also, how in the hell does he think characters would get rid of kryptonite? Throw it all in a rocket and launch it into the sun? I'm sure gathering all the worlds kryptonite like that wouldn't just result in supervillains stealing it.

It's been done before in the comics. It helps humanize Clark and it shows his work as a journalist can also help people. Bob for some reason thinks he's original for using an idea that's older than he is. It wouldn't work as a movie though because that's too long and people just to see Clark punch some bots in the face, but it's a simple enough idea to work as an episode if you just toss in a liberal use of sneakily using his super powers to expose a mob boss or whatever. Bob is also to stupid to realize that storywise, the kryptonite is just a easy drama button to hit when you need to put Superman in a box. The kryptonite itself is unimportant, they could replace it with anything for the same effect. In universe, having a hard counter to the world's strongest man is just a smart thing to have around even if he is currently pretty nice.

"Okay, how about this, Superman needs to get his story into Perry White before the end of the day, but Mxyzptlk has replaced his keyboard with an AZERTY and he can't use his superspeed in the office or give away his identity,"

You joke, but I'm willing to bet there's at least one old Superman story where he just makes it a pain in the ass for Clark to work at the Daily Planet that day.

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

Eat shit shitlords

https://twitter.com/the_moviebob/status/1370430828841426947

https://archive.ph/jjCAb

Bob is now completely immune to the coof thanks to the wonder drug that just kinda makes you more resistant, assuming you have no co-morbidities like obesity and adult onset type 2 diabetes, and requires you to continue to do what you were doing before you got that magical shot.

Looks like it's time to stay home and be a miserable piece of shit on twitter bois!

 

[LordofCringe7206]

Maybe so, but I can say that I've seen people in my extended family who are fatter than Blob, drink more and smoke live past 80 so it's not unachievable for him.

As for him offing himself, you know as well as I do that we'll be blamed if that happens.

The issue with Bob is that he's already had a few health episodes that show his health is in deterioration. Not quite as many as someone like Jack Scalfani mind you. But this is a guy who according to him had to be hospitalized for "exhaustion" because he attended too many convention panels.

If it was just his physical health it would be one thing. But this guy also has a lot of emotional and mental instability. He's always angry and in a miserable state, getting himself worked up over the stupidest of things. That's going to push him down a down path. I wouldn't be shocked if he does suffer a stroke sometime within the next five years.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

”It takes time for your body to build protection after any vaccination. People are considered fully vaccinated two weeks after their second shot of the Pfizer-BioNtech or Moderna COVID-19 vaccine, or two weeks after the single-dose J&J/Janssen COVID-19 vaccine. You should keep using all the tools available to protect yourself and others until you are fully vaccinated.” - the CDC.

What are the odds that he goes to a party within the next two weeks, takes his mask off, catches it, and blames ”MAGAts”?

 

[KingofNothing]

"Come at me fuckers!'

So is he daring people to just coof at him? Sounds kinda gross but alright. You can still get Covid, fatboy

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

The issue with Bob is that he's already had a few health episodes that show his health is in deterioration. Not quite as many as someone like Jack Scalfani mind you. But this is a guy who according to him had to be hospitalized for "exhaustion" because he attended too many convention panels.

I wonder, do we have any proof that he actually went to the hospital? Is it possible he got fed up with dealing the proletariat, who possibly weren't showering him with the honor and praise worth of one such as Bob, so he decided to play sick to get out of it? This is the same guy who when confronted by his Queen for being a creeper claimed that she strung him along and she "borderline gaslighted" him.

 

[Totally Awesome]

What are the odds that he goes to a party within the next two weeks, takes his mask off, catches it, and blames ”MAGAts”?

MovieBob isn't cool enough to get invited to parties.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

MovieBob isn't cool enough to get invited to parties.

Mea culpa.

What are the odds that he goes to a cinema, some snotnosed kid coughs on him, and he gets the wu flu?

 

[Koby_Fish]

MovieBob isn't cool enough to get invited to parties.

he claims to have gone to them in the past so I'm guessing he either crash them or goes to ones of his acquaintances.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

he claims to have gone to them in the past so I'm guessing he either crash them or goes to ones of his acquaintances.

He probably sits in the corner with a can of beer and politispergs to anyone who'll listen.

 

[Woe-B-Gon (TM)]

Food. You can guarantee that the sight of high-fat food will render Bobby more incoherent than usual:
View attachment 1989710

Does he really think the second "Shot" (because that's how you use Capital Letters) makes him immune? He doesn't seem to think he's taking a dose of the same stuff meant to convince his immune system he's still under attack and it needs to step up its game (which takes time and isn't a 100% guarantee) but rather that he's getting the second half of some binary alchemical Elixir of Life, instantaneous and faultless. Praise Soma for I shall taste Amrita!

(Also, if the ads are showing up the day before fat diabetics are scheduled for their shot, then it's not the mystical magical mysterious marvelous mister m'algorithm but bog-standard targeted marketing.)

EDIT: I F5 and what do I see?

View attachment 1991852

A goddamn superhero version of the exact point I was using myth and folklore to make. It couldn't get more Bob than that.

 

[he who has thus come/gone]

It helps humanize Clark and it shows his work as a journalist can also help people.

One of the problems with Clark Kent is that a lot of people despise journalists these days. Being a journalist was a good profession for Superman back in the day, but now it's so tarnished that it really doesn't match the type of character that Superman is.

What are the odds that he goes to a party within the next two weeks, takes his mask off, catches it, and blames ”MAGAts”?

Absolutely zero. Blobert doesn't have friends who would invite him to a party. Maybe if his brother caught it from a contractor and he went to his brother's house, he could catch it.

 

[King Dead]

Eat shit shitlords

https://twitter.com/the_moviebob/status/1370430828841426947

https://archive.ph/jjCAb

View attachment 1991852
Bob is now completely immune to the coof thanks to the wonder drug that just kinda makes you more resistant, assuming you have no co-morbidities like obesity and adult onset type 2 diabetes, and requires you to continue to do what you were doing before you got that magical shot.

Looks like it's time to stay home and be a miserable piece of shit on twitter bois!

Sanctimonious fucks like Blobbo are why a small part of me wants there to be some unforeseen side effect of the vaccines that teaches them a hard lesson in always Trusting the Science™. The fact that I have friends and family who have gotten the shot (and just the general Christian sense of knowing that it's wrong to wish harm on others) is why the rest of me hopes there isn't.

Ironically, if the conspiracy theorists are correct and coof vaccines are actually an NWO depopulation plot to induce sterility in huge swaths of the population, Bobby still wouldn't be affected. Ain't no way that man's passing on his genes to another generation.

One of the problems with Clark Kent is that a lot of people despise journalists these days. Being a journalist was a good profession for Superman back in the day, but now it's so tarnished that it really doesn't match the type of character that Superman is.

This goes against everything Bob professes to love, but you could still have Clark Kent be a journalist in modern comics without people getting down on it. Simply have him move back to Smallville and work at the local paper there. People generally still trust their local news much more than national/international networks, and you could easily write a story about Clark wanting to get back to his roots. You can still throw in the usual capeshit stuff since he's fucking Superman and he can easily zip to wherever there's a problem, so it's not like he really needs to be stuck in Metropolis all the time.

Bobby would hate it because blah blah cities good rural bad blah blah mayo ghouls blah blah.