Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Marshal Mannerheim]

The Chinks mean business, and all Bobby can think about is lesbianism.

The reason that the PRC has female soldiers is because its army was set up as a guerrilla army, and if you're a guerrilla force you pretty much have to take what you can get. It's not because they're woke.

Bobby's Chinkabooism gets dampened by China's response to The Monster Hunter Movie.

The movie wasn't attacked by Chinese influencers because they're woke, it was attacked by people on Sina Weibo because Sina Weibo is full of wumaos and Chinese nationalists (but I repeat myself).

Also the last tweet is hilariously full of buzzwords on a level I haven't seen since his essay about how AOC will turn into a neolib and defeat everyone he doesn't like.

Oh, don't forget another species of yellow monkeys!

Watching Blob try and fight uyoku dantai is the digital equivalent of watching two speds fight in the playground.

Pretty soon the thread took a detour and morons think of edgy ways to modernize Shakespeare.

For once Kino Roberto is right. Shakespeare plays weren't an exclusively high-class thing back in their day - they were a form of cheap entertainment that all classes enjoyed, a bit like capeshit today.

No Bobby doesn't read

That's all you need to say

I have no idea why Blob is praying to Thaleia when he should, by rights, be a follower of Koalemos.

Bobby's cronies think people attack him because they are sore about Disney firing Gina Carano:

The reason conservatives were upset about her being sacked was because she was being sacked for expressing conservative opinions. In a perfect world all sides would oppose that but, unfortunately, here we are.

”I'm concerned about the government spending my money on military things that benefit a small minority of Americans.”
”if you don't like it, enlist or shut the fuck up!”

If Blob had been born in Mississippi instead of Bahstan, we all know that he'd be calling anyone who doesn't support going to war for oil and/or Israel a traitor.

"...AOC and other brave Democrats who spoke truth..."

What has Saint Alexandria of the Bronx got to do with this apart from her existing and Blob being horny?

The Democrats, as I said a few days ago, act like a one-party state when it comes to setting precedent.

It therefore follows that they'd act like a one-party state when it comes to legislating.

Aimee Therese continues to live in his head rent-free.

Three bits of history sperging:
• the Hohernzollerns were emperors of Germany and kings of Prussia, but some other German states were kingdoms within the Empire and retained their monarchs.
• Kaiser Wilhelm II was a monarchist and supported Nazism under the naïve belief that it would lead to a Hohernzollern restoration. When it didn't do that he turned on them, and he was very anti-Nazi otherwise - he called Hitler a ”man without God”, said that Nazism ”could not build a nation”, and was outraged when he heard about pogroms.
• in West Germany, simple support for the Nazis did not mean you were deprived of property during denazification. Blob is not only calling for his enemies to have stuff stolen from them, but is doing it in an illiterate way to boot.

Fun trivia: I have heard it claimed that in the 1990s, NASA was asked to fly an astronaut from a Certain Eastern European country.

They couldn't find a candidate who qualified.

Not because they weren't smart or brave or technically skilled; it came down to bad dental work, and concern their teeth would explode during an accidental depressurization event.

That explains why there's no Britbongistani space programme.

 

[Wünderkind]

I love the implication that belief in God is the same as being a BDSM sub.

Remind me, how many martyrs have been created by cock and ball torture?

and in the context of BDSM culture bob would probably be outraged by any insinuation there's something wrong/strange about a man being a "sub" as he'd consider it bigotry but he'll nonsensically use it as a slur against the religious

fractal stupidity with this guy as usual

 

[iRON-mAn]

... much more:
View attachment 1996341

I like Tokyo Drift, it's something of a guilty pleasure, but it is far from a good movie. The acting feels like they raided an LA amateur class and the writing is cringey as fuck, so its not even a case of giving bad actors good material. The only reason Bob likes it is because it's set in Japan, where his love of big titted Asians and vidya was birthed.

Pretty soon the thread took a detour and morons think of edgy ways to modernize Shakespeare.
View attachment 1996352
No Bobby doesn't read 500-year-old plays; they are too problematic.

Um, no, Shakespeare was not writing popular art for the masses. He was writing specifically for nobles and royalty. The playing company he belonged to was called the 'King's Men' and a number of his plays were first performed either at court or for some royal event. That's not to say his works weren't well liked in their time, but Shakespeare wasn't trying to entertain some brainless peasants, unlike the vast majority of today's generic slop they call media.

 

[cypocryphy]

Is it just me, or are Bob's videos getting shorter?

Less talking is more time for eating.

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

Is it just me, or are Bob's videos getting shorter?

Not only is the review shorter, time wise, but he's decided not to speed up his talking so he's fitting in half the words to boot! That's being economical right there kids.

Even slowed down I cannot make heads or tails about what he's talking about. @2:24 "The grapes of wrath having given way to the raisins of alienation"

 

[BScCollateral]

That explains why there's no Britbongistani space programme.

Funny, but it's not a deal breaker. Even if we say British dental care was at the level of Eastern Europe, it's not a deal breaker. Once you've decided to make someone an astronaut, especially if there is a Presidential mandate to do so, then throwing a few tens of thousands -- or even hundreds of thousands -- to completely rebuild their mouth isn't much of a sticking point, although I'd understand if the astronaut decided to give it a pass.

And of course, there have been two British astronauts. More people from Britain have flown in space, but they were mostly British born US citizens.

The over all count for "citizens flown in space" goes to the US, USSR/Russia, Japan, and China. Yes, Japan has flown more people in space as a US partner than China has.

 

[MightyBiteySnake]

Did bob call Nomadland "an obscure movie you probably haven't heard of"? I don't know a person who doesn't live under a rock that hasn't heard of it

Is it just me, or are Bob's videos getting shorter?

He takes shorter and shorter breaths as time goes on so he gets more words out quickly

 

[TowinKarz]

Rate me late if you must but Bob's sperging at Elon Musk made me think: has it ever been pointed out to him that even if and when commercial space travel becomes viable Bob won't be able to use it because he's a fat diabetic sack of cum?

I am no science man, but I'm pretty sure the effects of space on a normal, healthy human body are bad; I can't even imagine what zero-G would do to Bob's corpulent husk.

Forget effects on the body, Bobby would first have to overcome effects on the wallet, like any one of us will be able to afford first-gen commercial space travel? If you can't afford coach class seating on an airliner right now, you aren't getting your seat on the space dildo either.... if he's dimly aware of this at all, he's probably rationalizing it away with being able to charge the tickets to his corporate account, the one he'll surely have..... for being galaxy-brained.

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

I made it 43 seconds before muttering "Shut the fuck up" and closing it.

I swear to Christ he's deliberately making his Boston accent thicker and more obnoxious. Also, he sounds weirdly hoarse.

It disappears after the first minute and a half when he FINALLY stops prattling on trying to sound witty and gets to the review proper. Completely disappears. It's really weird and not subtle.

 

[Woe-B-Gon (TM)]

@2:24 "The grapes of wrath having given way to the raisins of alienation"

Not entirely out of place coming from, say, The Tick. Anyone else, not so much.

(My goodness, this is the first time I've watched one of his vids in ages. His accent is getting worse.)

It disappears after the first minute and a half when he FINALLY stops prattling on trying to sound witty and gets to the review proper. Completely disappears. It's really weird and not subtle.

I seem to recall that at one of the (very few) Escapist "cons" he did a panel where he stressed how much he was un-thicking his accent for most of his videos, and then he dropped into his "real" accent. I don't recall it being this thick even then, but it's been many a year since I saw that panel.

 

[Adamska]

It disappears after the first minute and a half when he FINALLY stops prattling on trying to sound witty and gets to the review proper. Completely disappears. It's really weird and not subtle.

This implies that he thinks the Bahstahn accent and New English accents are a witty and intelligent accent.

Haha fuck no; it might've been the accent of firebrand traders in the past who picked up some Queens English, but nowadays it's the dialect of pushy shitheads and white trash.

Boston is just the place you go to when you can't find the space to enter New York City.

 

[Mola Ram]

This implies that he thinks the Bahstahn accent and New English accents are a witty and intelligent accent.

Haha fuck no; it might've been the accent of firebrand traders in the past who picked up some Queens English, but nowadays it's the dialect of pushy shitheads and white trash.

The lower class Boston accent sounds exponentially stupider than the reddest redneck accent from the deepest reaches of Appalachia or the Deep South. It's not even close.

Boston is just the place you go to when you can't find the space to enter New York City.

We should all chip in and get Bob this classic t-shirt (assuming we can find one that fits):

 

[Lasersuit Larry]

The lower class Boston accent sounds exponentially stupider than the reddest redneck accent from the deepest reaches of Appalachia or the Deep South. It's not even close.



We should all chip in and get Bob this classic t-shirt (assuming we can find one that fits):

View attachment 1997147

We like to say that Boston is like what you'd get if you took all the people too antisocial for Staten Island, urban Jersey, Rockaway, and Long Beach, and gave them their own city where they can all hate everyone together.

 

[make_it_so]

View attachment 1996261

Fucking hell Chris, this is what teenagers do. No normal or functioning adult gives a damn about when you joined Twitter.

Is it just me, or are Bob's videos getting shorter?

"And Bob is getting l-l-larger!!!!"

Pretty soon the thread took a detour and morons think of edgy ways to modernize Shakespeare.

No Bobby doesn't read 500-year-old plays; they are too problematic.

The Bard's works have stood the test of time and become an ingrained part of our culture. Castle Greyskull is a little over 30 years old and is mainly remembered by hipsters and a few fat nerds. Not that there's anything wrong with being a fat nerd, but one of these things is not like the other, Blobby. Christ, I hate consoomers.

DON'T CONSOOM NON-MCU CAPESHIT! (In this case, The Flash)

Funny Bob, you could say the exact same fucking thing about The Eternals.

That's another Bob quirk I love.

"You must think of the greater implications of mocking me for wearing a stupid cosplay outfit!!!"

Again, it shows you his cartoon black/white view of the world. "The bad guys make fun of me and I'm a good guy. Don't team up with the bad guys!"

Bob is a narcissist, any attack on him or his views is tantamount to a war crime.

We should all chip in and get Bob this classic t-shirt (assuming we can find one that fits):

Depends - do they offer it in a size 4XL?

 

[Oh Long Johnson]

The lower class Boston accent sounds exponentially stupider than the reddest redneck accent from the deepest reaches of Appalachia or the Deep South. It's not even close.

Retort: Staten Island's inbred dialect, the hearing of which causes the civilized brain to feel it was spritzed by a lime.

We like to say that Boston is like what you'd get if you took all the people too antisocial for Staten Island, urban Jersey, Rockaway, and Long Beach, and gave them their own city where they can all hate everyone together.

That's actually Massachusetts as a whole. Boston itself is 30% students, 30% metrosexuals, 10% bluebloods, 10% visitors that cannot find their way out of the city and 20% undiagnosed mental illness.

 

[Mola Ram]

Retort: Staten Island's inbred dialect, the hearing of which causes the civilized brain to feel it was spritzed by a lime.

You'll note I didn't mention it, familiar though I am with it (and, owing to a stroke of luck and a parent from the south, escaped having one by the skin of my teeth). Either way, Boston's worse. At least Staten Islanders are funny.

 

[Ita Mori]

Eat shit shitlords

https://twitter.com/the_moviebob/status/1370430828841426947

https://archive.ph/jjCAb

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I'm not one to wish death on anyone except child diddlers, but It'd be fucking hilarious if Boebert kicks the big bucket a month later after challenging fate.

Did bob call Nomadland "an obscure movie you probably haven't heard of"?

Sounds about right for the guy who thinks you can see the directing, writing and complexity of Lynch, Kubrick, and Cronenberg in an MCU film.

 

[BScCollateral]

”I'm concerned about the government spending my money on military things that benefit a small minority of Americans.”
”if you don't like it, enlist or shut the fuck up!”

As befits the stupidest man on the internet, his response is utterly incoherent.

1) Can someone enlist and stop the DoD from providing genital mutilation surgery? Is that how it works? No? Then what's the point?
2) Why should a taxpayer shut up about where tax money is spent?

 

[Tronathon242]

2) Why should a taxpayer shut up about where tax money is spent?

The guy he's talking to has the wrong letter after his name. That's why Bob thinks he's not allowed to question the government of the correct party.

 

[Smithfield Ham]

Transgender people in the military shouldn't be a problem because it'd be totally irrelevant if the military industrial complex stopped starting and perpetuating wars.