Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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Is that even a shot from First Blood?

It's a stretch, but it's not impossible the female lead in Predator hooks up with Dutch after their helicopter ride. But yeah, wildly stupid and clearly not written by someone who saw the films.
If she did, it was long, LONG after the film because the closing shot of Dutch in the choppa' is that he's clearly physically and emotionally exhausted from the ordeal and would need a few days to recover.

It just never stops being funny that they described a bunch of movies which have downer endings as "happily ever after."
 
There is something uniquely disgusting when Bob uses sexual language.
It's jarring not because he acts in a misogynistic way towards women, but because he does that while pretending to be a good male feminist who acts in the ways Saint Zoe of Dangerhair, Saint Anita of Games Journalism and Saint Alexandria of the Bronx stipulate.

It's the equivalent of a really anti-alcohol Southern Baptist being found in the gutter with a bottle of vodka; most people have seen someone blackout drunk before, but what makes it jarring is the hypocrisy of this particular drunk.
Too late. Turned out the story is at least 3 years old. All 11 of Bridgett Adams's frozen eggs failed and she can no longer have a biological child of her own.
This is one of the many dangers of playing God. Of course, given Bob's remarks about da Superyah Fyoocha, he probably sees no problem with doing that.
What did Bob's mom do exactly that caused him to be damaged so profoundly?
She treated the TV and vidya as babysitters.

Most cows are the result of both mental instability and bad parenting. Bob is not the most stable person there is and was raised by TV shows that implied technology would solve everything, so here we are.
He managed to go straight past responding to tone and came out with an ad hominem.

That's impressively retarded.
why was Bob still watching children’s cartoons at 18?
This might help.
 
If she did, it was long, LONG after the film because the closing shot of Dutch in the choppa' is that he's clearly physically and emotionally exhausted from the ordeal and would need a few days to recover.

It just never stops being funny that they described a bunch of movies which have downer endings as "happily ever after."
John McClaine didn't "claim" a woman, he saved his wife. But on a superficial level it's the only one that fits.

I half expect that you could find a handful of movies that fit this description, but they'd all be really horrible schlocky b-movies made by studios like Cannon Films, Carolco Pictures or some other hack company run by people who barely speak english. Movies that people only ever watch to make fun of or to make a review video out of. You couldn't put them on a shitty meme like this because everyone would say "What the fuck is Invasion USA? There was an 80s Punisher movie with Dolph Ludgren?"
 
I half expect that you could find a handful of movies that fit this description, but they'd all be really horrible schlocky b-movies made by studios like Cannon Films, Carolco Pictures or some other hack company run by people who barely speak english. Movies that people only ever watch to make fun of or to make a review video out of. You couldn't put them on a shitty meme like this because everyone would say "What the fuck is Invasion USA? There was an 80s Punisher movie with Dolph Ludgren?"

Agreed. And given how common "Hero fights bad guys and gets the girl" stories are, it's kind of amazing that the well-known 1980s action films were so different from that. Terminator: male lead dies and woman is protagonist. First Blood: Hero is arrested and faces trial for what he did. No romance. Predator: The only romance here is the suggestion the female lead likes the male lead from how she's checking him out at the end.

Dare I say ... they subverted expectations?
 
So I was watching a Cynical Reviews video on the Mulan remake, and guess who was mentioned towards the end?

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Agreed. And given how common "Hero fights bad guys and gets the girl" stories are, it's kind of amazing that the well-known 1980s action films were so different from that. Terminator: male lead dies and woman is protagonist. First Blood: Hero is arrested and faces trial for what he did. No romance. Predator: The only romance here is the suggestion the female lead likes the male lead from how she's checking him out at the end.

Dare I say ... they subverted expectations?
People think the 80s were a time of savagery and bigoted sexism where every man was Fred Flintstones. They forget that this was twenty years after Women's Lib and the civil rights movements. Writers and directors were very aware of feminism and race issues. The only difference between then and now is that weren't clownishly obsessed with them and didn't see the real world like an exaggerated Simpsons gag.
So I was watching a Cynical Reviews video on the Mulan remake, and guess who was mentioned towards the end?

View attachment 2018447
I really hope Bob-Bashing becomes growing trend. It'd feed into his ego and give him Chris Chan delusions of having a huge fanbase and being super popular when in reality he's an object of mockery.
 
People think the 80s were a time of savagery and bigoted sexism where every man was Fred Flintstones.

People always imagine they are from a more enlightened time, thinking thoughts incomprehensible in our ignorant past. There's an episode of the radio show Fibber McGee and Molly where a character ruefully points out that American Indians don't have all that much to be thankful for on Thanksgiving. That was from the late 1930s. This was a show where a white guy played their black maid. The studio audience always laughed at his first line because this wasn't widely known.

That meme about white guy adventure films is so bad I honestly suspect a troll. "Look, these idiots think Terminator had a male protagonist."
 
The way he holds his head plus the yellowness of his skin almost makes it look photoshopped.
For me, that picture sends shivers down my spine. There is something jarring about Bob's face that really strikes me. The depressions on the sides make it look like it's not real. Like his face is a mask and something is wearing his skin like someone would wear baggy oversized clothes.
That meme about white guy adventure films is so bad I honestly suspect a troll. "Look, these idiots think Terminator had a male protagonist."
In the same vein, everyone thinks that Rambo is just about "Guy in vietnam butchers hundreds of chinks" rather than a movie about the plight of Vietnam vets in the US. In this case you can blame the second, even if the second isn't even Rambo killing hundreds of vietnamese soldiers.
People think the 80s were a time of savagery and bigoted sexism where every man was Fred Flintstones. They forget that this was twenty years after Women's Lib and the civil rights movements. Writers and directors were very aware of feminism and race issues. The only difference between then and now is that weren't clownishly obsessed with them and didn't see the real world like an exaggerated Simpsons gag.
People think that before current year, things were hell for women and men dominated the world with fear and strength like it's fucking Mad Max. It's hilarious and retarded at the same time.

And as an example, Slumber Party Massacre, which was considered quite a progressive movie despite being a slasher flick, was made in the 80s and written by a very vocal feminist. Thing is that it was very subtle being progressive and it wasn't "in your face" like everyone feels they need to be in this day and age.
 
In the same vein, everyone thinks that Rambo is just about "Guy in vietnam butchers hundreds of chinks" rather than a movie about the plight of Vietnam vets in the US. In this case you can blame the second, even if the second isn't even Rambo killing hundreds of vietnamese soldiers.

Stallone had kind of a knack for making rubbishy schlock follow-ons to his own decent, respectable films. First Blood and Rocky are so unlike their sequels it's dumbfounding.
 
For me, that picture sends shivers down my spine. There is something jarring about Bob's face that really strikes me. The depressions on the sides make it look like it's not real. Like his face is a mask and something is wearing his skin like someone would wear baggy oversized clothes.
Bob looks like a typical villain in those trashy horror books we all used to read when we were younger.
 
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