Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Positron]

Gozilla v Kong spoiler -- There's a guy leading an expedition that involves being around Kong and two female characters call him a coward behind his back because he's afraid of the 100 foot primate apex predator, like any normal person would be.

So much for women being the "empathetic sex".

Chris has extra stress. I cannot imagine that any woman, no matter how lump shaped, keeps an ogre like that around without treating them like an ATM and being vocal about why more currency isn't falling out of it

Booze, that's why.

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

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These clips are all pretty bad. The constant repetition of MONKE pisses me off just out of fear he'll ruin the RETVRN TO MONKE stuff. The way he "laughs" and then just full stops once mirth.exe goes through it's script and all joy runs out of his face pushes me more to the side that he's a grade A autist. Alternatively, he's a grade C sociopath who's too dumb to know exactly how to mimic what he thinks he's supposed to be feeling. Alternatively alternatively, he's a disingenuous cunt who is always lying and continuously putting up a front..

This clip in particular got me. I had a wave of horror and revulsion when rolled his head back and did a hooman type cackle, revealing the discolored interior of his mouth. I thought "is this what lockdown has done to him?". Then I remembered that he downed a blueberry Icee in the theater and the horror was replaced by sheepish stupidity.

 

[EnemyStand]

These clips are all pretty bad. The constant repetition of MONKE pisses me off just out of fear he'll ruin the RETVRN TO MONKE stuff. The way he "laughs" and then just full stops once mirth.exe goes through it's script and all joy runs out of his face pushes me more to the side that he's a grade A autist. Alternatively, he's a grade C sociopath who's too dumb to know exactly how to mimic what he thinks he's supposed to be feeling. Alternatively alternatively, he's a disingenuous cunt who is always lying and continuously putting up a front..

This clip in particular got me. I had a wave of horror and revulsion when rolled his head back and did a hooman type cackle, revealing the discolored interior of his mouth. I thought "is this what lockdown has done to him?". Then I remembered that he downed a blueberry Icee in the theater and the horror was replaced by sheepish stupidity.

Mark Twain was a smart man. "Never engage in an argument with an idiot. They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." Bob and all his content creates a retard singularity that makes everyone else dumber. It's how he justifies his smugness, but the stupidity vortex is not unique to Bob.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

I like how in the car Moviebob just kept interrupting Chris and went on a tangent about how much he hates the Sonic movie once Chris mentioned he likes it and apparently the two were referencing the Mario movie by quoting Dennis Hopper in the movie theatre.

Bob also seems to only make really retarded expressions that makes him look like he has Down syndrome.

LOL, Bob really started sperging about the Sonic movie?

That almost makes me wanna watch this video. Almost.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

He knows just like we do what a total fucking loser he is.

What people on KF don't understand is that lots of cows, by virtue of them being cows, are delusional. Look at every ugly man on this site who thinks he's a TRUE and HONEST woman, or look at @Autphag who was, and still is, convinced that the Jews and "Celtonegroids" were in a plot to stop him trooning out. Bob is really no different, only he blames Pmurt for everything instead of Haselgrove and hates mayo ghouls instead of blacks.

 

[Tronathon242]

And what the fuck happened to Charles Dance?

Who knows. They just dropped him, his organization, and the other titans from being mentioned at all. One would think this guy would be hunted as the most wanted terrorist in human history and would have used Monster Zero's head for something, but Apex just gets shoved into his place.

I like how in the car Moviebob just kept interrupting Chris and went on a tangent about how much he hates the Sonic movie once Chris mentioned he likes it and apparently the two were referencing the Mario movie by quoting Dennis Hopper in the movie theatre.

Bob also seems to only make really retarded expressions that makes him look like he has Down syndrome.

For him, the Console War never ended. The SNES and Genesis may have long since been discontinued and those machines that were left were either gathering dust, being held by collectors, or rotting in dumps. Yet, the scars remain in his mind, the hardy har hars from Sega fans tearing at his psyche day and night. They besmirched his beloved Mario, hailing their blue hedgehog as superior. He could not let that go. He could never forget. To this day, he fights the fight and the resurgence of Sonic through the movie only stirs his anger even further. Robert Chipman will wage the good war until he drops. It's the only way he can find any meaning in life after the horrors of the playground teasings so long ago.

With all that said however, I still can't help but shake my head whenever I see Korea act so vindictive and hateful. Like I said, all it does is make Japan far less willing to actual admit any wrongdoing, and again, it makes me feel extremely ashamed and embarrassed to have that heritage.

Back on topic. Wonder why Bob likes these Monsterverse movies so much if they share similar problems to the Bay Transformers films?

It could be because he's more obsessed with Godzilla than the Transformers or that he never liked Michael Bay to begin with and never gave him any slack.

 

[Ita Mori]

Bobby managed to get fatter.

Holy fuck their voices are higher pitched than Emma Stone's...
I'm not so sure the Shitta's kids are actually his anymore.

Soy: not even once.

Edit: Chris's shirt looks dirty. Either his wife is a slob or he's a classic hillbilly pig.

 

[Mola Ram]

Holy fuck their voices are higher pitched than Emma Stone's...
I'm not so sure the Shitta's kids are actually his anymore.

Soy: not even once.

For a while I'd thought Bob had actually lost some weight, but holy shit, his head is swollen worse than it's ever been in these clips. He looks awful. Even more awful than usual, I mean.

 

[instythot]

Bobby managed to get fatter.

You know, for as much as Bob pointlessly interjects with "Yeah" , "yup" , etc and unexpectedly shits on generic carb and salt filled family restaurant food, him sitting in a parking lot with his brother is way more engaging than anything he's ever put effort into

Also, I like how he unintentionally exposes that enjoyment isn't something he's concerned with in the review process by having to differentiate "last movie I saw as a critic" and "last movie I saw"

 

[Grumpy Pickle Rick]

It’s money, fame/respect and pussy.

That is it really.

That’s what all these social media spergs want. They’re not as deep as they pretend to be.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

LOL, Bob really started sperging about the Sonic movie?

That almost makes me wanna watch this video. Almost.

Yeah and it was because they joked about how the Sonic movie was the only one in theatres last year then Chris mentioned he found it fun to watch which prompted Bob to constantly sperg about it and make Olive Garden jokes

 

[blablabla]

i cant get enough of bob chipman mongoloid eyes, this boy aint right in the head

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

It could be because he's more obsessed with Godzilla than the Transformers or that he never liked Michael Bay to begin with and never gave him any slack.

Bob has espoused his love for Transformers before. He even did a Really That Good on the animated movie which was in-fucking-sufferable btw and I'm pretty sure he did a whole Big Picture on just one episode of the cartoon. I believe his problem has always been with Bay and him coming off as a Chad and not some nerdy guy no one's ever heard of outside of a few indie flicks, maybe. That and the original designs for the robots initially were pretty bad and didn't get better until they made Optimus a crazed robot screaming about murdering everyone in the Marky Mark film. If Bob is any kind of fan, and I don't doubt that he is seeing how laments about not being a child while being drip fed nostalgia, and if he's the autist a lot of y'all believe him to be then I can see why he has such disdain for the series. It's his version of blue arms.

 

[Mola Ram]

It's his version of blue arms.

Thing is, Bob has many versions of blue arms. Mario, Transformers, any hint that DC might make a superior product to MCU, console supremacy, and of course more political reeee-ing than you can count on two hands. I think it's not that Bob has an equivalent to blue arms so much as he's a seething cauldron of resentment and bitterness, and lots and lots of things make him vent.

 

[Adamska]

Yeah and it was because they joked about how the Sonic movie was the only one in theatres last year then Chris mentioned he found it fun to watch which prompted Bob to constantly sperg about it and make Olive Garden jokes

The difference is those Olive Garden plugs were more done as a shitpost than as pure advertising. Sonic as a movie also inserted Sanic, so yeah, shitposting. But then this is a manchild who tried to vs. it with that rated R trashfire featuring either Harley or the Birds depending on what poster and what person you asked.

He almost certainly despises this film because Robotnik hits way too close to home for him. It's actually a bit surprising it doesn't crawl up his ass nearly as much as Joker did.

 

[Laughingjoke2]

Bobby managed to get fatter.

I'm older than Bob yet the fucker looks a decade older than me Jesus Christ.

 

[Lasersuit Larry]

Thing is, Bob has many versions of blue arms. Mario, Transformers, any hint that DC might make a superior product to MCU, console supremacy, and of course more political reeee-ing than you can count on two hands. I think it's not that Bob has an equivalent to blue arms so much as he's a seething cauldron of resentment and bitterness, and lots and lots of things make him vent.

Being frothing mad at anything and everything will eventually seep across the boarders of your brain. You even catch it as a normal person who has to regularly go through an incredibly frustrating ordeal, like if your significant other has ever come home from a job they truly hated, angry at the world for no reason. Riding the rage-pony too hard and too long makes you inherently more irritable.

Blob vents all that shit at the drop of a hat. He's deep enough in and has so little self-awareness that when he flies off the handle on something, rather than realize that his emotional state is tilting his thoughts, he'll retroactively convince himself that it was what he's actually been mad about the whole time. He's the kind of guy who would go on a rant while stuck in traffic because that goddamn toilet-seat-complexioned breeder bitch with the seven stick figure kids is the third person to cut him off today, and if it weren't for the mayo ghouls and their idiocy, he'd have his average sized meal already. In an instant, he takes his blind random rage and ties it in with his favorite bullshit justifications that he uses for every decision he makes.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Bob has espoused his love for Transformers before.

Especially ones named Luke Lockhart.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

It's because he can flex his Godzilla wikipedia bullshit on twitter, same reason on why he likes recent marvel stuff that like Wanda vision that just crams easter egg shit to generate click bait, and Robert plays into that, he acts as if he gets what the writters are doing, and how he can predict how these movies will go, because he is so knowledgeable about that, etc etc etc.

And to cut Robert some slack, he isn't the only loser that does that on twitter, neither is something recent. This nerd pandering crap was rampant during a good portion on comics during the early 2000's, and the readers that were into this mentality of "I know, that, i recognize that, I can call how this will go" gives place into "i can write comics as well" and then you get the shit writers of the middle 2010's, self-satisfied fans who don't excersise self criticism hard enough to make their stories worth a damn.

And now we have the movie version of this shit. remember: Robert thinks he is just in transition of getting his big break into moviemaking, and fancies himself as a script writter and that his critic gig is just a stepping stone.

And in a weird way, these Marvel and monster movies give some validation to people like Robert who think they can write just like that, because they also "get it", and it also serves as another delusion Robert has: that he belongs to a creative, enlightened class: "Why yes, it's a silly monster/capeshit movie, but it is also a fundamental building block of our zeitgeist, and "I" understand it better than most."

Robert ain't hard to understand, just see that most of his thinking comes from two obvious places, self servicing apreciation of what makes him feel better than others and resentment to anything he can atribute blame for not having what he feels he deserves, but without being overly obvious about it.

And by what Robert "deserves" I don't mean that superior future robot body nonsense, not even he belives this bullshit, what Robert wants is money, fame/respect and pussy.

That is it really.

Yes, Bob LOVES feeling like he's got the inside scoop on what's popular with people. It's part of why he's so obsessed with the Marvel movies, specifically their success with audiences.

This behavior goes way back. In Brick By Brick, he talked about how much he relished feeling like a kind of authority on video games when they started to become more popular with normies.

Alas, things like Call of Duty had to come along and ruin that, and a whole slew of new gamers were born who cared not for the fanciful world of Mario.

 

[Lasersuit Larry]

Yes, Bob LOVES feeling like he's got the inside scoop on what's popular with people. It's part of why he's so obsessed with the Marvel movies, specifically their success with audiences.

This behavior goes way back. In Brick By Brick, he talked about how much he relished feeling like a kind of authority on video games when they started to become more popular with normies. Alas, things like Call of Duty had to come along and ruin that, and a whole new of gamers came along who cared not fanciful world of Mario.

Poor poor Blobert. I too remember the first time I heard someone say 'haha, I can't stand those Zelda games, they're so boring'.

And yeah, for a moment that ruined the idyllic vision of Hyrule as a vibrant fantasy paradise holding the spirits of myth and a pastoral peace that must always be defended. But we were playing Halo and we weren't quasi-professional online blowhards, so the moment passed.