Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[make_it_so]

Odds are that a bunch of people got new cards and completely forgot to update the payment method for his Patreon, because they've completely forgotten about Chris.

Also, his Twitter name title is parenthesized "Bullshit No One Cares About." Is da Chippa starting to gain some self awareness?

 

[Mola Ram]

From DiscordView attachment 2146220

This is fucking priceless.

Also, I just noticed something. MovieBobFails posted this classic image today. Look closer:

It's that same polo shirt again!

What is going on here? The shade of blue is slightly different, which might be a lighting thing, or it's the same shirt aging over time, or Bob has a closet full of identical powder blue polo shirts like an even more autistic Seth Brundle ... but no, I think this is legitimately the only piece of adult clothing he owns. My god, does he not own just a plain white button down? He was dressed like an adult in the Anita hoverhand pic. What is the story here?

 

[MirrorNoir]

So if bob is convinced that he'd be more attractive in flyover America, what's keeping his penis in coastal isolation? His costs would be lower, his income would be the same, his workflow unchanged

He's currently squatting in a family basement, so if he moves he'll have to either rent or buy a house (both of which he doesn't have the fucking money for) PLUS he'd have to do multiple trips to where he wants to move to in order to even FIND a new house or just blow more money on hotel rooms while looking for a permanent place to live which add up and would require him interacting with seedier folks who would soon as kill Bob than look or deal with his shit.

Then there is the fact that Bob's going to have to either make a backlog of vidoes to have to slowly release while he move and gets settled into his new home and the fact that even then, he'll have to start paying utilities which will eat into his Patreon money HARD and he'll most likely have to get a job and that won't do at all for the snowflake, the whole working with the rabble sort of thing. Not to mention living in flyover country in a small town will make his "social standing/brand" collapse due to how much he has put into his city boy persona and the whole "cities are superior" bullshit.

 

[make_it_so]

This is fucking priceless.

Also, I just noticed something. MovieBobFails posted this classic image today. Look closer:

View attachment 2146423

It's that same polo shirt again!

What is going on here? The shade of blue is slightly different, which might be a lighting thing, or it's the same shirt aging over time, or Bob has a closet full of identical powder blue polo shirts like an even more autistic Seth Brundle ... but no, I think this is legitimately the only piece of adult clothing he owns. My god, does he not own just a plain white button down? He was dressed like an adult in the Anita hoverhand pic. What is the story here?

Is that seriously the only half-decent shirt he owns?

Seriously, Bob should take some of that $4k a month Patreon bux to buy himself some nice Ralph Lauren or Peter Millar shirts - they make them in his size.

 

[Smithfield Ham]

From DiscordView attachment 2146220

MovieBob is a more realistic take on what a Magneto-figure would be like in real life. Someone so self-righteous while being so ridiculously awful and constantly thinking they're in the right would definitely be an unaccomplished, morbidly obese internet film critic rather than a successful supervillain and commander of their own army.

I guess what I'm saying Bob is the exact kind of tard who would name his army "The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants" and still try to tell people he's the real good guy.

 

[MirrorNoir]

Bob genuinely seems to believe that 21st Century America is like Judge Dredd, with the Mega-Cities being the only bastions of civilization and the vast landscape between them being a blasted hellscape populated by degenerate mutants.

The funny thing is that the people living outside the big Mega Cities are freer than the people in the cities due to the overtly fascist shit Dredd and his ilk do a lot of the times. Granted there are a LOT of hazards living in the Cursed Earth (cannibal cults, outlaws, ZERO law, corrupt feudal lords, natural disasters, and various animal plagues like the spiders, rats, etc) but compared to the fascist Judges who are basically untouchable and the regular genocides that happen every four-five years in Mega City One, it's still safer.

 

[instythot]

He's currently squatting in a family basement, so if he moves he'll have to either rent or buy a house (both of which he doesn't have the fucking money for) PLUS he'd have to do multiple trips to where he wants to move to in order to even FIND a new house or just blow more money on hotel rooms which add up and would require him interacting with seedier folks who would soon as kill Bob than look or deal with his shit.

Then there is the fact that Bob's going to have to either make a backlog of vidoes to have to slowly release while he move and gets settled into his new home and the fact that even then, he'll have to start paying utilities which will eat into his Patreon money HARD and he'll most likely have to get a job and that won't do at all for the snowflake, the whole working with the rabble sort of thing. Not to mention living in flyover country in a small town will make his "social standing/brand" collapse due to how much he has put into his city boy persona and the whole "cities are superior" bullshit.

I thought we'd found him at a different address than his relatives? That changed?

The backlog should be the easiest part to deal with, pick a movie, make a title card, ramble as if he hasn't seen it so skip the movie watching step, add jump cuts for every pause in speech (there's got to be a tool to automate that) and set speed to 1.5x

 

[Tronathon242]

Is that seriously the only half-decent shirt he owns?

Seriously, Bob should take some of that $4k a month Patreon bux to buy himself some nice Ralph Lauren or Peter Millar shirts - they make them in his size.

That's his McD's money you're talking about. Those "average" size meals don't pay for themselves and he can't make that kind of sacrifice.

 

[mandatorylurk]

Budget time for Blobo
aftter patreon and youtube fees plus his new game theory shit, 4500 a month minimum

-a 460 sq ft. loft apartment in Lynn showed up 1,500 a month, if its family or family friend he likely only pays 1,000
-utilities = 500
-eating mcdonalds every day at Bob's size (1 big mac meal + 1 - 10 nuggies meal), $20 x 30 = 600
-junk food run every week, 100 x 4 = 400
-tranny patreons per month = 500
-consoom material = 500
-car + gas? = 500

total = 4,000-4,500/month

That's the best I can guess for him, because he has said he's not paid his bills in the past year and even tried to sell off stuff in sad auctions. But this is at his absolute worst, he should have at least 500 a month non consoom savings. This would at least explain why he has one shirt, but he doesn't even have a hobby and is still working on a 9 year old computer. I'm guessing he's got a Elliott Roger lottery vice so he can get all the money and finally get the womxn.

 

[BubbleButt]

Is that seriously the only half-decent shirt he owns?

Seriously, Bob should take some of that $4k a month Patreon bux to buy himself some nice Ralph Lauren or Peter Millar shirts - they make them in his size.

That's the thing that kills me the most. If I made 4000 bucks a month I could afford to not look like a fucking slob because having that much goddamn money is easy street.

 

[Neil]

When Bob's next video is an incoherent mess it won't be his fault.
View attachment 2145667
That 15 hours is probably spread over 3 days to be fair.

---

...eww
View attachment 2145687
Can anyone confirm this? I've never played any of the Dragon Quest games and know nothing about this one but judging by the trailer it's Dragon Quest in Minecraft. I'm having a little trouble believing this is virtual Precious Moments skinimax. Bob not only is THE Consummate Consoomer but a coomer to boot so maybe he is in the know?

It's one of those rare moments when he went to a cook out and no one made his plate for him

Dragon Quest's art direction is done by Akira Toriyama, the guy who did Dragon Ball. His humor is pretty juvenile, so some of that leaks into the games, but it's never obnoxious.

Dragon Quest Builders, though, lacks even that amount of immature humor. The only thing Bob could even get offended at here is the fact that some characters have breasts under their clothes. That's it. That trailer Bob responded to is nothing but cutesy kid-friendly stuff, since that game in specific is made for a younger audience.

 

[Boston Brand]

Right then, a new day has been going on for a while. Time to ruin it by reading this manifesto. It's legitimately a miracle Bob has not become a spree killer yet; it's a testament to how much of a goddamn pussy who hides behind others he is.


Here's Bob talking about how this hole was made for Bing Bing Wahoo 64. In reality it's more the other way around; Mario wanted to show off what the N64 could do.

In reality, Bob chooses to ignore that Nintendo's obsessive control over 3rd party developers, combined with burning them at least two to three times, was why they lost a lot of them during this period.

Probably because Bob vicariously pins his own triumphs with the things he pins himself to. You'll definitely see more of that later in this pile of shit.

Translation: Nintendo's decision to lie to their 3rd party developers about their console's performance specs twice and intentionally nuking their CD peripheral when they were making and designing the concept is about to kick their shit in.

Also nice forgetting about the other launch titles like Pilotwings 64. Again proving that Bob really only cared about Bing Bing Wahoo.

So after gurgling out details about the rise of CD as a storage medium, overselling the fuck out of Miyamoto for the N64's creation, and then poopooing it because he stupidly thinks that's the big reason Nintendo got backstabbed by their 3rd party developers, Bob spews this out:

Bob picks the one company that actually had great reasons to ditch Nintendo and he picks the one reason why they didn't leave them.

Squaresoft has been burned several times by Nintendo already. The first snub came when they were making Final Fantasy IV. Basically Nintendo didn't have full dev tools for the SNES at the time, and overpromised what the machine could do. Square then used those original stats to plan out FF4's story, but then had to cut out half of that plot when they got the dev kit. Pretty sure they used these lost ideas for After Years and Interlude.

But what ultimately made them despise Nintendo was when they backstabbed Sony and cancelled SNES-CD for the CDi. They spent months designing what they considered to be their magnum opus for the CD expansion, since it would not have fit on the SNES. This game? Secret of Mana. Square had to remove 3/4ths of the plot and designs when this happened, and while half of that removed content would eventually lead to Chrono Trigger, they were very angry at the wasted time, money, and the mutilation of their game.

This was why at the time, they moved all their handheld games to the Wonderswan; the N64 only proved to them that they'd get burned again and they said fuck that, leaving for Sony. Sony was so effective at pilching Nintendo's 3rd party crew BECAUSE they worked with them when the CD was being designed. Basically Nintendo made its worst enemy.

Anyways, back to Bob:

Reminder that Bob was a sophomore or Junior in high school at this point. And oh hey, fat boy had to admit that FF7 was a killer app for the PS1. Remember when he said they didn't have one?

Here's a statement that's pretty retarded. Bob lets slip that the Mario to him is just Bing Bing Wahoo; if it isn't a platformer, then it isn't a "big" Mario game. He gets more into that with later gen consoles and when he remembers handheld games are a thing.

That part's gonna be funny.

Of course "Bookish Bob", channeling a Bing Bing Wahoo strategy guide while writing this segment, is a Smash fag. So yeah include him there, especially since he kind of mentions that Melee is the one he played the most.

Bob cries slightly at the idea he had to buy a Dreamcast AND PS1 just to play all them Nintendo games that left the company. Also because he's such a crackhead devotee that the N64 didn't release games to consoom quickly enough for him.

Meanwhile I very much was fine with my N64, as was the average weirdo online.

So the next chapter is called "A Decade in Darkness", which... fucking kek.

Much like how the NES came to him in a creepypasta'esque "it just happened", his loss in interest "just happened". In reality Bobby was probably crying that Nintendo slid behind the Xbox.

Also fucking lol at Bob again comparing consooming product to snorting coke with that analogy.

Even as an adult, Bob spent most of his life envisioning being in Bing Bing Wahoo and other smoothbrained thoughts.

Here's Bob tantruming at mommy and daddy until they got good internet. Reminder Bob was a full grown man when he did this.

Also, again note the only reason he got serious internet is purely due to Nintendo. What a homo.

I'm honestly shocked no one EVER highlighted this. This right here is proof this fat stupid baby doesn't read, touch, or play a lot of the shit he gurns on about. This right here is him admitting he fakes his nerd cred.

You know, this brings up a question for me: Did Bob ever seriously try to make a movie? I don't think he did. Brad Jones did. The RLM guys did. Reviewers like Critical Drinker are more writers, but he made books.

Even Linkara made his own godawful comics AND a movie.

But Bob? Besides some teen short films, apparently not. So passionate, much film love. Wow.

Bob reveals that he didn't like how games opened up and changed. Reminder this fat retard earlier in the book desperately wanted it to be mainstream because he delusionally believed it'd make him normal and popular. Also reminder this fat retard is obsessed with being on the cutting edge.

Bob gets sad that Pikachu does what Mario don't.

Bob talks about how his rapidly becoming the worst Chipman brother Chris had a Gamecube and he didn't, and he only lists the Bing Bing Wahoo games for it rather than the other good shit on there, like the best take of RE4, and Wind Waker.

Bob is sad that Xbox beat the Gamecube in sales or something. Also it isn't Bing Bing Wahoo 3 or something.

Bob talks about how working for two chains that murdered the Rentals scene gave him the ability to babble out cinema terms he almost certainly no longer remembers and how it made him feel smarter than the parents who'd rent Waterboy.

Also like his repulsive brother Chris, Bob's main friends are the Blockbuster guys.

Bob reminds us he used to do the Game OverEater, which for those curious ended two years after this book was written. Also Bob tries to hide these people were probably the first actual friends he had.

Again, Bob shows that consooming for him is a massive drug fix that probably makes him coom. He probably realized that he does still need to tone down the weird religious experiences he has with it too.

Here's Bob being a melee fag. He's about right for it given his melted fat look and sex pest behavior tbh.

Here's him also probably realizing for the first time that multiplayer games with other people are actually really fun.

Bob again proves he has a fucked mental lens and tries to force that lens on the whole world rather than just him. His parents should've kept him in therapy.

I guess Sunshine doesn't exist. I guess Air Ride doesn't exist. I guess Wind Waker doesn't exist. Bobby only knows Kick Punch Wahoo: Autist Edition.

Anyways we now get into Bob describing how he got on local cable access TV. In short, some random guy he never knew wanted to leave flyers at the Blockbuster, and Bob, for once trying to actually use his degree, got into an interview with him when he said no to the flyers.

Reminder that Bob never tried to seriously make any short films and probably uses Game OverEater and his Escapist shit as his portfolio.

At least Brad Jones and Mike and Jay tried to use their degrees.

And now you know how he sees himself in real life. This is why he should get therapy, but he won't since he doesn't believe in it... for himself.

Here's Bob both proving he's bad at reading the room and intentionally poisoning the well against this guy he worked with like 10+ years ago.

So anyway, Bob then goes into how he got fired from the show. Now I will admit that it is actually quite believable that both are crazy in this scenario. I can also believe Bob was lying his fat fucking ass off. So with that in mind, I'll be a lazy jack ass and let you decide; here's the whole story, given some formatting to make it more digestible:

So yeah, which of the two possibilities do you think is the right one?

1. Bob wrote his usual braindead and inflammatory bullshit on Passion, and the show runner, being a devout Christian, did not like his comments online and fired him when Bob refused to back down?

2. Bob and the show runner were both lunatics. Bob was his usual ogrish self, and the Show Runner went batshit fundie over Bob tipping his fedora and being a fucking asshole?

I leave it to you guys.

Here's Bob applying delusion to the show. Now admittedly in scenario 2 I can believe it, but I can also just see the show being shit and was about to get cancelled anyway too. So again, did Bob get fired right before the show died due to poor views, or was it a mutual crazy destruction?

Here's Bob being full of shit after admitting he got into Best Buy on a nepotism hire.

Appliances and computers were the main reason these stores made so much money; it's to the point removing the Appliances section killed Circuit City.

But of course his unhealthy and mentally ill obsessions are clearly the money makers.

Boomer Bob doesn't know what a Jak and Daxter or a Jet Set Radio Future is, but he surely is a great salesman because he's Bob.

After Bob openly admits he only ever bums games with his Blockbuster friends, and that his own consoles are hidden in a closet, there's this line:

Of course ignoring that casual games came out way before Nintendo made them. Because Bob only cares about Bing Bing Wahoo.

And I leave you with this eldritch response.

So that sucked. I'm going to do something new now.

Has anyone ever found anything from that local access show he's always talking about? Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if he made most of that up.

Off topic, that bit about appliances is facinating... thats really what killed Circuit City? I always thought it was a radioshack scenario where they focused too much on the techies who want parts and specialized stuff and not enough on thr shmoes who just want a TV.

 

[instythot]

When Bob's next video is an incoherent mess it won't be his fault.
View attachment 2145667
That 15 hours is probably spread over 3 days to be fair.

---

...eww
View attachment 2145687
Can anyone confirm this? I've never played any of the Dragon Quest games and know nothing about this one but judging by the trailer it's Dragon Quest in Minecraft. I'm having a little trouble believing this is virtual Precious Moments skinimax. Bob not only is THE Consummate Consoomer but a coomer to boot so maybe he is in the know?.

There's a long running gag about the hero getting a "puff puff" from village women, but you never know quite what it is. In some of the non-mainline games, playing the phrase literally is the punchline. You have to go talk to every npc to find the gag in most games. That, a tendency for characters or monsters to be distracted by dancing girls, and a flaming homosexual pirate major character in 11 is as horny as dragon quest gets.

99% of dq is standard high fantasy hero's journey. Bob, as always, is a moron

 

[Koby_Fish]

I thought we'd found him at a different address than his relatives? That changed?

The backlog should be the easiest part to deal with, pick a movie, make a title card, ramble as if he hasn't seen it so skip the movie watching step, add jump cuts for every pause in speech (there's got to be a tool to automate that) and set speed to 1.5x

He's at a different address (and city) than Chris, but the basement apartment he lives in - last the land rolls stated - is owned by an aunt who 100% owns it as rental income, because no relatives of Bob live upstairs; the people that live upstairs are complete and utter strangers to Bob and presumably remain so to this day.

 

[ThatGuyWhoLikes The Chili]

Do I have this right? Somebody correct me if I'm wrong.

 

[Positron]

Chris takes an interest in Trump-shaped dildos:


Some pictures of the interior of Chris's home. Remember they'd just renovated it:




+ + + +
"Anger is how you WIN."

If vengeance occupies any appreciable portion of your mind, you've become a shitty person -- or a Korean-cinema mainstay.

We must let Big Tech spy on the populace, in order to neutralize the next Trump pronto.



The article says the eviction moratorium was first enacted under Trump, so the subhuman judge was just reverting the decision by the subhuman president, Ghoul vs Ghoul.

Ex-director of the CIA speaks out against wokeness:


Correcting a kid on factual mistake is bullying.

Kid praises Biden for handling things well so he might be able to get back to school soon, and that we wouldn't have gone this far with the last president. Kilmeade commented that Trump did say that "I want every kid get back in school". That's bullying according to Bobby.

Black Riots Matter. Why are you people so fixated on Wendy's?


1619:



My poor brain refused to parse this.

Archangel Luke thinks Jack Bauer would have gotten his family vaccinated against covid.


To Twitter nuts, being right wing is not about protecting the ingroup, but about protecting the outgroup.

If right-wingers were noted for refusal to do laundry, dishes, and hygiene matters, then the Chipman Brother would be red to the core, see the above pictures.
(The Naaman sperging thread. The author draws bizarre conclusions that I leave for you to explore.)




No idea.


No clue.

+ + + +
This is from a thread where Scott Mendelson, film critic for Forbes, worries that "diversity casting" in sequels/reboots is doing harm to relatively new, minority actors, saddling their reputation with well-publicized box-office bombs. Bobby doesn't so much hold a conversation as regurgitate his pet issues.

Indeed Mendelson writes like Bobby -- overly long and breathless sentences, distracting separators, abuse of gif images that make his post even harder to read.

But when it comes to original movies aimed at adults, Mendelson and Bobby part ways:

I have a feeling Bobby hasn't heard of the name Ozu Yasujiro. At any rate his erudition isn't appreciated:



A rando challenges Bobby, unaware of the fact that MCU is the modern-day Sophocles.


Black Superman. If you want Bobby to fold up immediately, tell him that niggers or troons disagree with him:


Disney+ capeshit and cinema-streaming synergy:


There is a Captain Britain?!


Slobber:


Paul Verhoeven will have another medieval-religious movie, Benedetta, out soon. You are sure that Bobby wants to watch it, because the synop promises lesbianism and the poster shows a tit.

I haven't watched Flesh + Blood nor do I know enough about medieval history to comment on historical accuracy. Any takers?


No context.


Paul Fag still has a career?

Rick and Morty:




I agree that could be fun.


This too.

 

[Positron]

Do I have this right? Somebody correct me if I'm wrong.

The mustachioed man is Sarah's Dad; this explains why everyone dressed up except Sarah.


Bobby and Chris's dad is very gaunt looking because his vitality has been chronically zapped by two huge clumps of cells. This is him:

 

[ThatGuyWhoLikes The Chili]

The mustachioed man is Sarah's Dad; this explains why everyone dressed up except Sarah.
View attachment 2147016

Bobby and Chris's dad is very gaunt looking because his vitality has been chronically zapped by two huge clumps of cells. This is him:
View attachment 2147020

View attachment 2147017

View attachment 2147022

So Pink Fatty is Chris and Blob's Half sister?

 

[Jet Fuel Johnny]

Bobbo on Captain Britain. Just because he hasn't heard of it, being the Marvel Coomsumer he is, he thinks nobody else has. Despite the fact that the character has been around for decades and had some pretty solid fucking storylines.

As for Red Sonja, she is currently being published and handled by Dynamite, which 10 fucking seconds on Wikipedia would have explained to him except he's probably too smoothbrained to understand the where's and why's of how Dynamite came to hold the rights.

And why is that a fat fucking slob like him thinks he's going to be good looking? He's pale, diabetes ridden, fat, and ugly, with absolutely no redeeming qualities.

The best thing about him is he's going to die alone and leave nothing behind after YouTube deletes his videos.

 

[Positron]

So Pink Fatty is Chris and Blob's Half sister?

Chris's wife.